Mr Butternut Squash

The tag with Kofi vs Shield from the 20th May Raw might be the best in the series. Basically, every week there's been a combination of them lot having a match and they're all mega.

Been living under a rock all my life so I thought I'd give this program a go seeing as everyone chats about it. Watched the first ep a few weeks back (never read the books). Hated it. I blazed through the rest of the series in just over a week. It's fantastic ain't it? I'm gonna blabber . .

Some nice additions to this season especially Margery and the dynamic between her and Joffrey. It seems like she's got him wrapped around her finger but you're always gonna be treading on eggshells with a psychopath. Granny Tyrell has become the funniest character on the show. The dragon stuff has got really good now as well. That scene where Daeny's dragon burns that prick and she takes over his slaves/army was tremendous. All the men that surround her are planks and morons though. Jorffrey's a brilliant little cunt. The first time I saw his weird girly face I hated him instantly and hoped he'd get killed off my tv quick. But I've learned to love hating him. He's got Caligula's biography wrenched in his arse and he likes it and I'd take him over a thousand boring Stark boys. He's lesbian arse torture scene was almost unwatchable. Did she smack the cheek or stick it in . . ? The Kings Landing, the battles of wits/power politics/backstabbing and anything else involving the Lannister's is really what makes this show. I don't need to tell you how great Trwin and Tyrion are, even if the latter's lost some of his edge lately. Cersei and her eyebrows of contempt I'm finding increasingly arousing. She's every bit as mental and heartless as Joffrey. Sexy. Jamie's an alright bloke really and the scenes between him and the big lass have been quite sweet. Would be great if they hooked up but I guess he'd rather bang his sister anyway. You can forget your dragons and your spells, it's them eyebrows that pack the good mojo.

They've got the battle scenes and their frequency spot on. That green fire stuff and the blackwater battle looked gorgeous.The first season was probably the strongest so far, had a nicer flow to it. I've been finding it a bit difficult to keep up with all the subplots lately but I am a bit thick. But, yeah, characters. Theon seemed to have a personality transplant after he ditched Rob which I found glaring. He's torturer's a right nasty piece of work too, almost felt sorry for the idiot. The Jon Snow stuff needs to move along. He's the most boring person in it. Give me more giants. I used to hate Sansa in the same "you're not good enough for this program!" sort of way I hate Samwally but she's turned a corner this season. The little bit between her and Tyrion was quite touching and I hope they get more screen time together. MAKE HER HAPPY FUNNY MAN. Depending on my mood Ygritt's either sweet and funny or a vulgar Eastenders-style cut-out. Vary's and Bealish's novelty has worn off a bit but they're still decent. Stannis, Red Lady, Osha, Hound, BRONN . . all good stuff. Lysa Arryn and her ugly suckling give me the willies. Arya is absolutely adorable and I hope she gets to grow up and kick ass. Part of me is hopeful that her sword trainer is still with us and that they'll get to dance again and kick butt together . .

I'm gutted now I'm up to schedule and have to wait for my telly fix like the old days

Bit of a lo-fi, low rent Velvet Underground/Kinks thing. Nice and miserable

https://soundcloud.com/bad-little-kittens/off-milk

Something a bit merrier, my Akira Hokuto song which I redone in bits. Sunny indie pop.

https://soundcloud.com/bad-little-kittens/t...-queen-song-for

True, they've been great for each other.

It'd be a waste if he spends the rest of his career putting over blands like Axel. They have a load of Mr Reliables on the roster already. He's better than Benoit on every level. He's already popular enough and I don't see no reason why he shouldn't be given a proper shot.

Velvet and Gail Kim turned the segment to shit but disingenuous Mickie James is the best TNA thing to happen in months.

If you haven't seen Daniel Bryan at the end of this weeks Smackdown you really need to. The Shield have been great for getting him over and I'd be surprised if he isn't in the proper main event picture soon.

Cesaro's a weird one. He seems to suck the life out of the room. I never look foreword to a Cesaro match even though they're usually good. He just needs to project himself better in the big room. The only time I wasn't completely passive about the guy is when he was in a suit swinging The Miz about. I thought "this guy I want to see more of". He should wrestle in a suit. I like him just fine as a Main Event (the show) guy to be honest.

I didn't think such a thing existed but I just watched a great scaffold match between Koko B Ware and Bill Dundee. Never seen Koko as a heel before and he's bloody good at it. I'm a few discs in to some Memphis comp and there's little revelations everywhere. Speedy, sleazy Dutch Mantel is one of a kind. That cheeky little fella Bill Dundee may be the greatest wrestler ever that nobody ever talks about. Great hair too. I love Lance Russell, I wish there was an announcer/interviewer around like him today instead of these passive company stooges. He's the calmest guy in the room and takes no shit. He's grandfatherly and to be respected, not an annoying little idiot like David Crockett. Plus his voice is sex. Obviously Lawler is the man. He's incapable of having a bad match. Sometimes all you need is a nice right hook. When his Raw commentary starts to bother me I can just switch this on and all is forgiven. Well, if I ignore the racist bits.

Nope, Cesaro's still Swiss yet he's using that titontron on this weeks Main Event. He's also lost the weird knee pad things and is in plain blue trunks. He's fucked. According to Meltzer he was in shit cos they decided he is boring. Now he's in the doghouse again cos his match with Kofi the other week was too . . . exciting?

Taz's shite commentary is the only thing in TNA that I find consistently enjoyable at the moment. He's adorable.

Impact was terrible again this week. Every segment was long and about something long past being interesting. No decent matches either. Magnus and Kenny King were good.

Just watching some random 1997 raw. I'd almost forgotten how much I adore post-mullet Shawn Michaels. The stubble, the constant gum chewing, the Lennon shades, that arrogant sneer. The can't be arsed promos and the way he constantly seems to be mocking how ridiculous this wrestling stuff is . He looks like a rockstar. Pushing Vince's buttons at every opportunity. He has that over the top Liam Gallagher cockiness about him, seeping through every pore, it's glorious. And he's the babyface!

Also, Owen Hart was fucking tremendous. Love that man.

And that segment was the best thing on the show.

I said Impact was becoming unwatchable the other day. I completely eat my words cos it was fabulous this week. It felt like watching a proper TV show in that I never felt the need to skip through bits. That hasn't happened since I started following wrestling again a year ago. Even watched the Velvet Sky match (and liked it!) Everything had purpose and direction, it's not like WWE where the matches mainly serve to fill time. It helped that Sting and Angle were out there talking instead of having matches. I don't think Bully had his lackeys around him in a single segment this week and - wouldn't you know it - he looked like a star for the first time since he got the strap. Him and Sting were great in contract 'negotiation' thing at the end. That's how you do it, you don't need The Miz or fucking Josh Matthews in between them collating the thing, just let the people fighting chat shit. The stip has got me half interested in the match too.

Everyone hit the button tonight. Even Anderson was amusing in a "this idiot just don't have a clue lol" kind of way.

The Terry Funk episode is a great listen too, although once again I was distracted by the sound of Stone Cold heavy breathing into the microphone while Funk was talking. Funk comes across as one of the nicest bloke in the world, you can't not love the bloke.

 

The other thing I listened to at work today was the latest Place To Be episode previewing Extreme Rules and reviewing the week's wrestling TV. Decent way to pass the time, but it gets painful listening to a couple of (for want of a better word) smart marks flapping their gums for two hours. Some of the opinions thrown about just made me cringe, especially when it came to the Austin Aries incident, which they blamed Hemme for.

They didn't blame her for it, they said she blew it out of proportion. Still a silly response though.

I've liked what I've heard of PTB so far, especially the Kevin Kelly ones. But they're a bit shit when they're not talking about wrestling or trying to do 'comedy'. They don't have warmth or the charm of the Review A Wai blokes, who often talk shit but make sure it's funny mundane shit we can relate to. Place To Be seem to chat a lot about the NFL and other shite that goes over my head.

Fun match that. I'd forgotten how much of a big lad Crush was back then, legit strongman too. Has any wrestler been dealt with not one but two finishers as shite as the cranium 'crush' and heart punch though?

How did they react to babyface Lex Luger? I remember him getting a lot of cheers in there when he was heel.

ICW's Wolfgang decides it's not enough just being wrestler of the year and being voted match of the year. He wants something new. He needs an image overhaul.

 

Finding Wolfgang part

Excellent . ICW is pure gold at the moment.

I miss the agile fat fuckers. Jerry Blackwell and a six minute slice of heaven:

I'm a big puss so it offends me quite often, mainly the baby faces. I'm fine with Greg Valentine saying 'black bastard' or whatever but when it's guys we're told to cheer, like Sheamus taking the piss out of Mexicans, or Cena calling Vicky 'fat', it dos my head in. I'm more offended by the laziness of the writing to be honest. Especially with the Be A Star stuff they do which is totally at odds with it. I don't want wrestling to be high culture or anything, write the good guy to put down the baddie for what he does, not cos he looks gay. It's not hard.

The thing that offended me the most though was that fucking Melanie Pillman interview on the Pillman Tribute Raw. Even as a kid I felt wretched watching that. It's one of the (many) reasons I never really got into the Attitude era.

I imagine the network are losing a bit of patience with TNA, what with Bully calling people fags, Hardy being off his nut and now this. It looked pretty harmless at the time but then again I'm not the one getting someone's cock shoved in my face. And, yes Hemme's judgement is all that matters. Aries has done himself no favours in the follow up either.

Yeah that Josh Mathews rant was a bit out of the blue. The "STONE COLD STONE" line did make me laugh.

I liked Ryback mocking the "Goldberg" chants in his match. Him vs Y2J was pretty shite though. Was odd that Henry was presented as a babyface this week. I'd like to see him beat Sheamus and go on to feud with a (babyface) Ziggler for the world title. I love strap matches for some reason so I'm looking forward to that one.

Bryan vs Ambrose was a great little match. Ambrose is such a great villain. The idea of Hell No/Kofi vs the Shield is good if it ends up with Shield monopolising the belts before heading on to the proper ones.

As somebody that knows jack shit about MMA I really enjoyed the Sonnen ep of the Austin show. Was cool to learn about about cutting weight, post fight come downs and all that. Interesting bloke.

Looking forward to the Nash episode.

From what I've seen he's a very good brawler on the indies. He just doesn't have the star presence for the telly.

I think the foursome of Roode, Aries, Daniels and Kaz are the best thing on the show that isn't Bully Ray.

Same for me actually. And that's why I'm finding Impact increasingly unwatchable. Aries, Bad Influence, and to a lesser extent, Roode, entertain me more than anyone else on the roster and their segments seem to get smaller and less consequential every week. And they always seem to involve fucking Chavo.

Bully would be a great lead heel if he wasn't saddled with a shite stable. He's stuck with a bunch of scrubs that will be nowhere once the stables over and it takes away from his aura. Maybe Brisco could be something down the line but he needs a lot of work. And the main event revolves around him and . . . Sting/Hogan/Angle? Not for me. The end of the Sting/Morgan match was fucking embarrassing.

The AJ Styles thing hasn't grabbed me at all either. Just feels so lethargic Impact at the moment.

The one that needs a talking to is bloody Chavo. In fact he shouldn't be allowed near a fucking mic. Deflates every segment.