Jonny Vegas

Janine from The Real Ghostbusters cartoon.

A few years ago at my work there was a guy who started and was 5 minutes in the door when he couldn't stop telling us all how he was going to work his way up through some promotions and didn't want to end up one of those stuck at the same entry level for years.

He was an all round pain in the arse and always saying stupid/ridiculous things. I never felt it was out of intentional badness just one of those smarmy , up his own arse, "elevenerife" type of guys.

He wasn't well liked amongst most of the other employees but the bosses loved him and his nose was rarely under 3/4 of the way up their arse.

On one occasion he had told us that he was a "miracle baby" and that his parents had told him his entire life how special he was and that he was destined for great things and to lead people. I was never sure whether he was intentionally making himself sound like Jesus but I wouldn't be surprised.

One day during lunch a few of us were talking and I'd mentioned that having grown up in the West Midlands and having moved to Glasgow in 2006 that it took me some adjusting to how much less diverse and integrated I felt society was here at that time (its improved a lot since).

In delved the lad with his 2p worth where he said verbatim "I went to school in a small village in ayrshire where everyone was white, which was lucky really".

Much taking the piss ensued as we all lapped up him desperately trying to present a better way of saying whatever the fuck point he was trying to make and add "I just mean there was no racism or problems because everyone was the same colour", before going on to tell us "actually there was a lad Alan who's dad was Chinese and ran the takeway". 

Fast forward about 5 months where he thought the incident had been well forgotten apart from a few occasional "no bother Tommy Robinson/Nigel Farage" responses in his direction. 

The work Christmas lunch/drinks day out comes and we all had to open Secret Santa infront of each other. He's lapping up the other comedy gifts and shouting out across the table to take the piss out of others.

Right up until he opens his, a book titled "The Idiots Guide To Being A Racist" to which he turns red as a post box, desperately tries to hide it as the managers ask whats the story behind that whilst hes on the brink of tears through sheer panic whilst several of us take it in turns to encourage him to tell them the story of how lucky he was to only have white people at his school.

Turns out the person who bought it for him was the quietest most unassuming person at the entire place as well who I'd never in a million years have attributed it to.

Dont know whether I've explained it well enough or its as funny to anyone else but it still gets a mention at work every Christmas despite him being long gone.

8 hours ago, MungoChutney said:

Visiting friends in Greenock and had this today. Ramekin daft down here obviously but very tasty and under a tenner. Addition of haggis and tattie scones elevating it above any breakfast not containing these items.

 

 

 

 

 

If you're around that side of Scotland then Elderslie Coffee Shop is possibly the best fry up I've had. All the meat is from the butchers next door which is owned by the same people.

Very reasonably priced too.

The basic (and best version).

Speaking of pigs in blankets, smoked streaky bacon with the rashers cut in half down the middle wrapped around the small frozen cocktail sausages (wee willie winkies they call them in Scotland) is the peak form.

On 12/23/2022 at 1:15 PM, Merzbow said:

Book it.

 

I think one of the main reason's I can't get behind or buy into Eddie Kingston is that he seems to be constantly talking shit and running his mouth about numerous other people - seemingly not as a work either.

He then followed it up by saying he loves winding up those who are insecure yet he was nearly in tears and went on and on about it when someone called him fat.

I know he seems to be a UKFF favourite but I think he is shite.

He reminds me of the generic secondary school wannabe hard man who's always talking about how hard he is, telling everyone how he "does UFC", picks on people then goes running to teacher any time someone capable of standing up to them does so 

Speaking of Aldi, I had their Bombay Spiced Red Leicester today.

Very highly reccomended.

On 12/24/2022 at 3:59 PM, stumobir said:

Bin bag over a mop head and give it a plunge, never fails. Why are you sickos sticking your hand down a toilet?!

 

Never mind, forgot what forum I was reading for a second there.

Get an empty 2 litre plastic bottle of fizzy soft drink, cut the bottom off and leave the cap on. 

Pair of rubber gloves on and use as a plunger, bingo.

Worked a treat for me ever since discovering it when my old housemate flooded a bathroom with shit and toilet water when we lived in New Zealand.

EDIT - apologies, hadn't seen DEF had already posted the same tip. Those spending money on plumbers, fancy gadgets or sticking mops down the toilet have lost their damn minds.

I'd been looking online and in any The Entertainer I was within comfortable distance of for the "Elvis" attire Young Bucks as my son has a different attire set but loves them.

It seems to be everywhere had plenty of Nick Jackson but no Matt's.

I can only assume that Matt is Turbo Man and Nick is Booster.

On 12/20/2022 at 5:26 PM, air_raid said:

I got taught about this in the manner of “how do you not know elf on the shelf” about five years ago by a girl aged about 24 at the time. I was dumbfounded and assumed it was a generation gap thing.

I've never thought of it or mis-remembered it as something that was about when I was a kid. As much of a pain in the arse as it can be especially when I'm monents away from sleeping and realise that I've forgotten to do something, it brings a tremendous amount of joy to my son.

He was absolutely buzzing for his elf to "return" this year and every morning when he's woken up it's the first thing he wants to go and see. 

That childhood innocence and enjoyment is something I'm sure we all miss. It's seems as though its an increasingly small window children are children for nowadays. Let them (try to) enjoy it whilst they can.

If twitter is to be believed then under 10% of the money taken in by sales of the LadBaby single will actually go to the Trussel Trust.

As others have said on twitter, you'd have thought that if they had an ounce of dignity or legitimacy they'd have found a way for costs to have been covered and donated 100% of all sales to charity.

Or even dipped into their deep pockets to cover it or even match what they've "raised" and donate it seeing as they've made their fortune off the back of faux charitable intent.

Can't believe we're three pages in without a mention for Owen Hart.

Doesn't seem to be a case that people just look back favourably due to the horrific circumstances of his untimely death either.

Seems to be that he was an all round great guy and family man who loved having a laugh.

3 pts absolutely thrown away by Aberdeen.

The keeper, RB and RCB made an absolute arse of both late goals conceded.

9 hours ago, Loki said:

I don't think it should pass unnoticed that Rhea Ripley fought and beat Tozawa one-on-one.  Yes, it's a jobber but the WWE has always been very reluctant to do intergender matches, and I'm really hoping this is the direction they are going with Ripley.  She looks more physically impressive than most of the male roster, and it will propel her to genuine stardom if they let her go the Chyna route and start regularly competing with men, even as far as putting the IC title on her.

I always felt the issue with inter gender matches in WWE was that previously other than with Chyna they had been presented as mis matches where the males were going to give the females "what they had coming to them". 

Largely it would be heels dragging them by the hair before hitting them with devastating power moves as they were defenceless.

Females would be relying on shenanigans to stand a chance and avoid a beating which set an unsavoury tone all round.

If Ripley is presented as a capable and credible threat who just happens to be female and males involved in matches with her aren't chasing her around until they eventually get their hands on her and obliterate her then I don't see much issue that could be raised with it.

Surely presenting her as a female so skilled and capable that she can compete with the males should actually be something that's seen in a positive light.

On the @supertanskii twitter she provides a direct link to "shout a coffee here" where people can send her money which was head grifter Jack Monroe's exact wording.

A 10 second search of her tweet's shows her praising Jack Monroe, including calling Monroe an "incredible human being", "the reason some kids don't starve" and a response to one of Jack's tweet's saying "marry me Jack, please", so it isn't a satirical reference designed to poke fun at Monroe and establish a clear difference between Monroe's grifting and her supposed legitimacy.

Looks an awful lot to me like she'd seen the rewards of Jack Monroe's grifting and decided to follow the template of the scheme with a few tweaks for her own benefit.

I think its very important for people to understand that 999,999 times out of 1,000,000 anyone asking you to send money DIRECTLY TO THEM, FOR THEM, under the guise that it will somehow help those less fortunate are almost certainly fucking at it.

5 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

I don’t think you understand what a grifter is. By that logic anyone on Only fans is a grifter. One is begging you to buy a single that absolutely doesn’t benefit them and “profits” go to charity, the other is offering perks if you want to give them money for their own personal gain, completely transparently. 

Respectfully disagree HS.

A grifter is a swindler of any kind, just because she's swindling from a different angle it doesn't absolve her.

There's also every chance she's falsely presenting beliefs she doesn't actually hold in order to maximise her swindling.

It's nowhere near comparable to the OF model of simply paying to see people in varied levels of undress etc.

They remember the hard times growing up under privilieged, travelling in their mother's Land Rover to their grandparents cottege in the countryside. 

That's how they could relate with us fellow poor people and were so desperate for us to send them money to fund the 80 hours a day they were working to help us.

17 minutes ago, Tommy! said:

And that cook whose mam made some shit roast potatoes too, so I'm told. 

Jack Monroe being accused with quite a significant anount of very convincing evidence of being an alleged con artist/grifter who was ripping people and charities off whilst pocketing the vast majority of the money for themself was one of the least surprising things to happen in 2022.

1 hour ago, RalphyV2 said:

I think i met you once around 20 years ago on a UKFF Bus trip, you seemed like such a sound bloke back then! I am sad to read your struggles, as i too can relate, however i am pleased in a way that you finally recognised it and got help for it, its a long road, and at times u will feel like a guinea pig, especially with medication and its complex, unpredictable nature.

I remember it well mate, down to London from Birmingham for an FWA show. I remember us all getting a McDonalds and Justin Credible walking in as well. I also ended up stranded outside New Street station and having to sleep in a photo booth outside it until the first train home in the morning.

I turned down the medication, I'm not one of these that doesn't believe in it, I was just more concerned about side effects it might have. I go through lots of spells where I feel like I'm coping really well and I talk myself out of suicide by telling myself its too selfish to do that to my wife and kids. Biggest concern is medication either changing my ability to do that or just spaces me out.

1 hour ago, RalphyV2 said:

I think if i had kids, a wife, a girlfriend, or had much family left, i would enjoy it more though, but to me, its just another day with added Turkey and Home Alone 2, i will be spending it over the fields, walking, for the most part i think 

 

 

In times I was single I felt that way mate, maybe if I had this or had that. I've largely felt it just changed the details of how I felt and added new pressures. It's absolutely not for me to say how you might be though mate.

I hope you do find a way to enjoy it as best as possible. Its always difficult as an adult to enjoy it the same was as with that magical childhood innocence.

I try to think of myself as lucky to have been able to have experienced that as there's so many who didn't and don't even get that sadly.

I absolutely loved Christmas as a kid and really have nothing but good memories of it. I didn't have what I would describe as a happy childhood and had a father who was extremely abusive towards me via multiple non sexual forms.

Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/Boxing Day just always used to seem like a small spell where everyone including me pretended that everything else was brilliant the rest of the year and I always found it a magical time, maybe looking back part of it was the feeling of relief and safety of not having to feel on edge and in constant fear for a few days of what might be coming from my old man.

As I went into my teens and adulthood, moved out and away from home I continued to love Christmas and I still feel Christmas Eve night is the most magical night of the year. There's just something about the peacefulness, quiet and calmness that seems to cover the majority of the place that gives me so much comfort. 

Nowadays whilst I love the excitement my kids have for it, ultimately I find it a hugely stressful and pressured time. 

This year we're going to my wife's auntie's for dinner and whilst she's a horrible person who I'd much rather not spend the day with, its a neccessary evil to spend it with my wife's grandad who raised her. He's 84, fit as a fiddle and an absolute gentleman.

He comes up pretty much every day to visit the kids and wrestles about with my 5 year old son like a man half his age but this will be the first Christmas Day he has with us and the kids. He is absolutely buzzing for it and I'll enjoy every second of him lapping it up. 

I've struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life and only accepted or faced up to it about 2 years ago when I reached a point I was no longer functioning.

That added a new level of stress and pressure to the season as I felt a lot of responsibility to pull myself through it in time to not waste what traditionally was my favourite time of the year and to be present mentally for my wife and kids.

Despite having a loving wife, great kids, good health and pretty much every person I've ever told telling me they'd have never expected it, I think about and talk myself out of killing myself nearly every day since I was probably 11 or 12 years old.

I'd never seen a Doctor or spoke to anyone professionally about it until 2 years ago where I'd stopped sleeping, eating and functioning on top of everything else then had been doing well until October this year but unfortunately I've taken a significant dip again and it's added another level of pressure for me to get through it all with a smile on my face and try not to ruin it for the wife and kids. Thankfully the kids are way too young to catch on at the moment.

I hope each and every one of you has the best day you can manage given each of your circumstances.

Keith, your girlfriend's family sound fucking insufferable. 

As others have said, I also enjoyed Violent Night. Just an easy 90 minute watch, nothing spectacular but some funny moments and overall entertaining.

I felt although the plot and character roles were different it had some similarities to Santa's Slay with Bret Hart's favourite actor Mr William Goldberg. 

Just looked at the live charts and saw Ladbaby were on top. I then got curious and had a look at the actual lyrics to their song.

Jesus wept.

It's actually bothering me considerably more than it probably should do as to how on fucking earth anyone is falling for these grifters for a 5th year in a row.

For tory voters who have undoubtedly profited significantly from exploiting dubious claims of charitable intentions to make this song and for people to be buying it is in my opinion nearing Black Mirror levels of satire.

Added to that the big gormless mouth breather has shoehorned a couple of sausage roll mentions into the song for absolutely no reason at all other than LOL SAUSAGE ROLLS.

I really do despair for humanity.

It seems a bit of a rushed last minute scramble to throw together and get out. I wonder whether the twitter rumours a few months ago of him shagging about meant a last minute reconciliation to raise some money for charity (them).

1 hour ago, PunkStep said:

Including the World Cup runners up Croatia, when England beat them in the Euros last summer? The same Croatia that are one more win from a consecutive World Cup final. I don't think England should have been expected to beat them at all, especially as they lost to them at the previous major tournament. But they did. So that's two teams across three tournaments they beat when they were not expected to. That's not bad going. It's not Morocco levels of achievements, but it's a damn sight better than tournaments dating back to the Bobby Robson days at least (at the very least, I think England have been better than they were in 86-90).

Not sure why Scottish hold England in such high regard to win everything. It's quite flattering, but they're clearly not as good as you seem to think they are. And haven't been for decades.

 

So you say England need somebody that can appreciate, nurture and utilise the young talent at their disposal. I give you examples and your response is 'he couldn't leave him out'. Well he could, but he didn't, same with the many other young players he's played during his tenure. Nobody is saying he has unearthed a gem- he has simply appreciated, nurtured and utilised young talent. The very things you believe the England manager needs to do. So, looks like we agree on that- Southgate ticks the box. Good stuff. 

Such as?

I'm not Scottish, I'm English. I can only assume you're based outwith the UK and don't watch the TV or read the media here though.

England are presented as legitimate contenders for every major tournament. The Premier League where all but Bellingham play is routinely presented as the best league in the world.

Sky Sports News are practically in mourning since the loss to France because they realise what a massive missed opportunity it was. 

France were missing 3 of their key players, Mbappe was anonymous all game.

It was same old England that have been at every major tournament in my lifetime.

We lost to a better version of Croatia than the one we beat. This years Croatia team have done brilliant to reach the semi's but they've massively over achieved.

How anyone could try and give Southgate credit for Bellingham is beyond me.

We are never going to agree and we don't need to. England have won nothing under Southgate and I'm confident to bet anything you'd wish that they never will. 

Southgate has met expectations with the teams he has beaten, not exceeded them. If England are ever going to win anything then they need that to change.

EDIT - Regarding Brendan Rodgers - he is an egomaniac. If they pay him the money he asks for he would take the England job all day long. Although raised a Catholic he's also from a mixed marriage and not a sectarian or bitter man whatsoever.

8 hours ago, PunkStep said:

1. England were not expected to reach the semi finals in 2018 nor the final in 2021. They were however expected to reach the quarters this year and everyone predicted we would go out to France (the reigning world champions, one of the pre tournament favourites and let's be honest a side everyone expected to beat us).  

2. No it's not irrelevant, it's a very clear indicator of how you perform at a tournament. You can say 'England should beat Senegal etc', but you can say that about a lot of results and guess what - this is tournament football - it doesn't always go that way. Cameroon beat Brazil, South Korea beat Portugal, Morocco beat Portugal, Belgium and Spain, Tunisia beat France (albeit a much weaker side), Japan beat Spain and Germany, Saudi Arabia beat Argentina. There is no divine right for England to beat everyone.

3. He has just played a 19yo for 5 consecutive matches at the World Cup.

4. I don't know who England could REALISTICALLY (people really need to take note of this word) replace him with that would definitely achieve more.

 

@garynysmon 

Apologies in advance as I'm not sure how to part quote like you did but I've amended it down to the main points I'm in disagreement with and numbered them.

1. It depends hugely on perspective of whether benchmarks of reaching stages or what you do to get there are equally important or whether you believe some are more or less. 

Were England expected to beat the teams they did in the last 3 tournaments? I would say other than Germany, yes absolutely. Therefore regardless of what stage of a tournament it then allowed them to reach, it was expected.

France were there for the taking and they didn't, I live in Glasgow and next to nobody expected France to win. The relief up here when they did was huge.

2. In my opinion the results of other teams is irrelevant. Upsets are always going to happen across football. Other nations not beating sides they're expected to doesn't mean England should be praised for doing so.

3. No manager could leave Bellingham out. He was a stand out and is a leader already at 19. Again I just do not believe it warrants any praise for Southgate. The lad is an absolute prodigy. He's played 2 and a half season's at a top club in Dortmund where he is now captain and already had 17 England caps. He hasn't unearthed some hidden gem.

4. Nobody can definitely achieve more than any manager. That's football, it's a constant evolving gamble.

If we're saying lets not replace him with Eddie Howe cause Eddie Howe doesnt want the job its an entirely different argument to lets not do it because I think he's already doing a brilliant job.

I think Southgate has achieved nothing more than what he should have with the players, resources and opportunities he has had available to him.

If England are happy coasting and being nearly men indefinitely by all means they shouldn't make any changes. If they want to try and find someone capable of leading the team past games they're not expected to win, then take a gamble.