Cannibal Man

The Undertaker looked like an absolute fucking idiot last night. Probably the least intimidating he's ever looked once he got all his gear off. There needs to be some sort of company wide intervention on crap barnets because it's one thing for shit haircuts to have hold of newer talent like Ambrose and Neville who still have time to do the right thing, and for retired headcases like Ric Flair but it's another for The Undertaker to take off his murdering hat and reveal what looks like the collapsing remains of a burnt out thatched cottage on top of his melon. That gear always had him on a very thin tightrope, but he just looks fucking stupid now. Muffin top over his leather jocks, only tanning his face for some weird reason, birds next syrup. Mental.

obviously never used to think it was the actual line, but on the rare occasion I found myself saying the words the go to opening lines were "HERE WE GO JACKIE CHAN IN A CODPIECE"

Going to be an interesting build up then given two out of the four RAW's before Mania are Chicago as mentioned and Philadelphia. No idea how Pittsburgh and Brooklyn are usually but that's still two out of four in the lead up to a Wrestlemania they'll either be keeping their big star off of or having him torn to bits by a crowd.

Good to see Ryback using films about investigations into historic sex abuse by the Catholic church as part of his promo. 

 

Wonder who the fuck it was that wrote that and who was part of the hierarchy thinking that it was all a good idea and should go to air. Aye, see Ryback aye well what he should do is bang on about nonce vicars and use it an allegory about how he's going to web Adam Rose. Bonzer. Get that filmed.

hint of Guy of Gisborne in his wig/face there

 

I was made up when Big Time by Peter Gabriel was the theme for Wrestlemania 22 and hoped Vince had made it out of the woods and was going through some sort of 1980's Liverpool scal phase. Could have had Pink Floyd, Supertramp and Talking Heads for the next few years if that had turned out right.

Looks like the Citizens Advice Batista has been on the case -

 

https://twitter.com/DaveBautista/status/697585006563217408

Who got his housekeeper pregnant out of those?

 

 

Nah fair game really, next time instead of grabbing Vince's arm on air Titus wants to have a long hard think about what he's up to and try killing his girlfriend, being thrown out of his sport for betting, post racist homophobic video rants, pimping students out for money, bleeding all over somebody while being infected with Hepatitis, going to prison for rape or impregnating his housekeeper and he might wind up with a Hall of Fame induction rather than a 90 day suspension

I get most of them but pimping students out for money - who was that?

 

 

Fabulous Moolah, some info here -

 

http://www.free-times.com/archives/baby-of-sweet-georgia-brown

 

and the Wikipedia page goes into it in the Training & Promoting bit

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fabulous_Moolah#Training_and_promoting

Nah fair game really, next time instead of grabbing Vince's arm on air Titus wants to have a long hard think about what he's up to and try killing his girlfriend, being thrown out of his sport for betting, post racist homophobic video rants, pimping students out for money, bleeding all over somebody while being infected with Hepatitis, going to prison for rape or impregnating his housekeeper and he might wind up with a Hall of Fame induction rather than a 90 day suspension

I was watching the Elimination Chamber match he had with Cena yesterday and that Avalanche type move that Nova/Sheamus/Big Show used to do that he sometimes does off the top could work out. There's a moment where he catches Cena off the ropes and swings him round from a powerslam type position into it. Looked ace and doesn't require any sort of gymnastic hijinks from the opponent. 

Just wondering if anybody knows who's responsible for Bruiser Brody's old AJPW theme, this amazing saxophone centric cover of Immigrant Song -

 

 

Was it produced in house? would they have had an in house band back in the 80's? seems unlikely to me but it'd be good to know

and fuck me, i'll be dipped in dogshit if Alberto Del Rio isn't the biggest shower of bollocks they've got performing regular on TV, outside of Kane or Big Show. I cannot think of a single positive to him being there other than it being easier for me to make the decision to switch off RAW and go and do something useful like enroll in college, tell somebody I love them or invest in a new hobby any time he wrestles.

Should have subbed the line with Paige saying she always preferred Crowbar.

I thought the segment was about as alright as the rest of the Diva's Revolution tat has been since it started and it's exciting that the focus was back onto two single performers, and was initially pretty interesting to see a Diva's segment was going to close but aye the Reid stuff was completely tasteless and has nae fucker actually talking about the match or how they want to see either performer knock fuck out of one another, or see Charlotte get any revenge or whatever. It's pretty much all about how lazy and out of place the Reid stuff was. Massive swing and a miss for what could and should have been a decent unofficial restart to the booking of the division on an already very good RAW.

There was an episode of the Big Breakfast around that time or maybe a bit later where Mark Little tried to get Diesel to dress up in a chicken suit for one of the games they had and he basically told him to fuck off and that Mark Little was going to be pratting about playing frisbee dressed up like a tithead. Rest assured, when they got back from the break Joe Mangel was the one arsing around in the garden dressed like a chicken.

That Barrymore question was mine. I went round to my mates house to watch it last night and forgot that i'd both sent it in and signed it as Barrymore. Absolutely pissed myself at the question signed 'CHRIS BART WILLIAMS - NOTTINGHAM FOREST' too

Be good to get JBL having everyone chant "FATSO!" and shouting "HE'S CHEATIN' REF!" 

Bring him back and then fire him immediately, because he was fucking dogshit

I dunno, I quite like the mad platform thing. Must be the idea of Ryback going arse over tit off it and into the fourth row and crushing a group of kids and a bored dad who's had to take his son and his 14 mates on the birthday night out.

Ziggler is very now, in that he looks like something some Vaporwave artist created. I don't think it's intentional.

 

Hang about! i'm not having that. Never did I imagine i'd be having a discussion on whether Dolph Ziggler has any Vaporwave credentials on a pro wrestling forum, but if Ziggler's anything at the minute he's a hair metal sleazeball. He's pure Sunset Strip hairspray, denim, garish color combos and aloof confidence. He's less Axl Rose, Nikki Sixx or David Lee Roth and more Dokken, Cinderella, Poison and Warrant. Plus he has Lana in that shite acid wash denim get up and mad extensions.

 

if Ziggler's entrance music was some short one bar loop of an old 80s disco song looped over and over, filtered and soaked in reverb and purposely played back at 1997 MPG Real Player quality and his Titantron consisted of 8 bit shots of shopping centres, some marble busts and a load of Japanese text with him driving a caddilac to the ring and he cut promos about old Macintosh computers, subvertising capitalism and embracing it's garish surface aesthetics you'd be onto something

He could have just gone to TJ Hughes if he wanted Ambrose's gear and saved himself getting a cigar to the tits

he looks like a German national football team version of EZ Money

There was a short period of time in school when my friend Adam was nicknamed The One because of an incident during an art homework assignment where he got his sister to draw a portrait of him rather than do it himself, and upon revealing it to us as this beautiful pencil drawing lovingly done as a favour by a family member that he was sure to get top marks for it turned out that it looked less like him and was more a spot on rendition of Billy Gunn in his then current 'The One' gimmick and thus was subject to occasional outbursts of "I GOT IT AAAAAAAAAAAALL"

Can I shag Ahmed Johnson in front of everybody during intermission

I was really, really glad to see Faith No More Guy in that list of superfans. Always pretty underrated I thought when it came to discussions about that lot. Vlad, shellsuit couple, bowlhead and Hat Guy always get a mention but he seems to come up less despite being absolutely fucking everywhere for about 20 years and always managing to make it onto the camera if he wasn't near the front row. It was genuinely a bit disappointing not spotting him in the 2006 ONS crowd.

 

Had no idea about the wig saga from that clown beaut either. Absolutely beautiful.