Cannibal Man

Cheers for the votes, lads. It's a grand old forum to be part of, to read and contribute to. Here's to 2018

Ah'll si thee!

"HELLO...BRAH...YOU'RE QUITE GOOD...AT....TURNING ME ON"

Just watched that Goldberg doc on the Network, and the absolute kip of yer mans head here

Hasn't been the same since he had his head shaved ten years ago, but that's the worst it's been. Few more years of that unchecked and he'll be rivaling Jack's Creation

3 hours ago, tiger_rick said:

It's Sid.

There's nobody I love more than SID JUSTICE but it's fucking heartbreaking to think the guy throws punches like a Bushwhacker walks.

Gonna have to figure out a cover up for that big 'ALBERTO' tattoo. Could always add 'NLYFOOLSANDHORSES' to the end of it.

There's nobody on the roster with the same size, presence and everything else that Lesnar has had since he's come back, even the bigger lot like Cena, Reigns, Strowman and co. so more or less everybody is equal in his presence. The guy's the Chong Li of the company, with a very long trail of Ray Jacksons behind him.

6 minutes ago, Otto Dem Wanz said:

He's apparantely a smooth, hilarious bastard behind the curtain, according to Chris Jericho's first book anyway.

Haven't read the book yet but that reminds me of Danny Doring's RF shoot where he's back after a spell of working as a postman for the big ECW relaunch, and Tommy Dreamer advises him quite seriously to just always laugh at Malenko's jokes no matter what. 

I'm not having Dean Malenko as some lothario getting his jeb end in any hole that isn't nailed down, he looks like an auld toe/suspended cop hybrid

Wasn't this when he came back with his weird mask on and his Bennett from Commando vest doing run ins as Fur Face? Love weird shit one off gimmicks and that's up there with the best

I don't expect fuck all from Goldberg which is why i'd rather not see him in the first place. If you expect two matches to be a waste of time and they both turn out that way there's zero chance i'm going to give the third go round a look. I'll be taking the bins out when him and soft arse go at it.

I was thinking this morning about that bit in Beyond The Mat where JR says he couldn't give a fuck about who wins or loses, as long as "there's an ass every 18 inches" and how for years I heard and assumed it to be "as long as there's an ass over 18 inches, i'm a happy man" and presumed it to mean that wrestlers have massive muscular arses, and the bigger the better in terms of who they're looking for talent wise. Took me years to figure out what he was actually saying.

Seeing that and HHH/Steph with Henry Kissinger has made me quite relieved to have not contributed any money to WWE for quite a while

Really good video package there above, had no idea Graves had been around that long or had done half the stuff shown in the video. I don't pay much attention so I only had him down as the bog eye with a walnut whip on his bonce from the Pre Show who dresses like Kid Creole and/or The Coconuts.

good work on this HG. Always a good read. This win is dedicated to CHEESE ON who'll be chuffed when I see him next week

Are there any decent UK based wrestling mask makers around? I've got a custom design i'm after and hoping to save a few bob on shipping and all that nonsense

 

Was Beulah McGillicutty the prettiest woman ever in wrestling? Think she might've been...

Fun fact, the prettiest woman ever in wrestling is actually Kelly Kelly.

 

Kelly Kelly has the eyes of a murderer

I periodically stay up a day or 2 at a time. The headaches and constant hunger on day 2 suggests you'd be dead a lot younger than Vince if you tried to do 6 on the reg. Then again, routine can be a funny thing. You're right, he is the only person that's a remotely plausible statement about

Having read this it's finally come to me that Vince's closest earthly comparison is/was Prince

I need to know more about you cannibal man. I want to understand what a product of that environment is like - do you do it when one if your mates expresses an interest in something? Did you start doing it ironically and now can't stop, maybe?

If somebody brings something up more than once or it becomes a sort of occasionally returning topic i'll end up going WOOOOR FUCKIN BIT OF THAT LADS but I had the awareness to generally stayed away from acting like that side of the family too much, luckily, though for ages on birthdays i'd tell people things like "birthday is it mate hey? must be nice that, lovely is it hey?" instead of the usual. The 'KWESH' thing genuinely did stick with me for years though. It never put me off it but every time I had a slice the pronunciation was in the back of my mind. I guess you never forget being forced fed an egg pie by a bouncer who's one bit of advice to you during your formative ages was

"WHO THE FUCK WANTS MATES? THEY'RE ALL ROBBING BASTARDS"

After an incident where his mate Andy, the same guy who once goaded me my brother and a cousins into a fist fight for a laugh that ended with them convincing us to tombstone one another in the garden, robbed some cassettes from him. That was the concept of mates done with after that for him.

I hadn't thought about most of what I wrote for years and the items down the kecks in particular until I was posting it but I did finally see everyone mentioned after about 7 or 8 years back in October and i've been thinking about all that behaviour and stuff loads so it's good to get them written down and remember a few of those things. Half of 'CHEESE ON's teeth have fallen out and the other one nearly broke my nephew's hands and reduced him to tears with a full on Yeboah of a volley during a quiet game of penalty shootouts despite repeated pleas to not 'blast' the footy so it was good to see things hadn't changed too much.

I've got an uncle I secretly name 'CHEESE ON' to myself whenever I happen to either mention him or think about him owing to his years old habit, one he doesn't do at all any more, of referring to Cheese On Toast as 'CHEESE ON'. Not unusual because i've heard people refer to beans on toast as 'beans on' but the name stuck because whenever he either asked for 'CHEESE ON' or heard somebody was having 'CHEESE ON' he'd stand up and do this bizarre ritualistic dance where he'd wave his arms about like he was cupping two sets of imaginary bollocks and a running on the spot type of thing and shout out load a variation of -

"WHOOOOHOOHOHOAAA FUCKIN' BIT OF CHEESE ON HEY LIKE A BIT OF FUCKIN' CHEESE ON DO YOU LAD"

Which obviously always seemed completely mental to me, but it goes back to that entire side of the family doing the exact same thing every time you expressed any sort of interest in something. Years before it all one uncle went to see the Robin Hood film with his school and when he got back instead of asking him how it was or if he enjoyed the day out his other two brothers gathered round him with my mum and grandad and all made some sarcastic mass groan that sounded like 

"WHEEEEY THE ROBIN HOOD KID HEY WHEEY BEEN TO SEE ROBIN HOOD HAVE YOU GOOD WAS IT LIKED ROBIN HOOD DID YOU"

Until he had to leg it out of the room without saying anything. Yet similarly despite the experience, that uncle once saw me eating quiche at his dining room table and grabbed the back of my head and yelled to me

"BIT OF KWESH IS IT HEY LAD BIT OF FUCKING KWESH?!"

pronouncing it as 'Kwesh' the entire time and picking up handfuls of it and rubbing it into my face. That one had a particular habit of whenever he was asked to give something back once he'd nicked it and arsed about with it he'd shove it down the front of his trousers and shout that 'NOBODY CAN FUCKING HAVE IT NOW CAN THEY'. The one specific example I remember is when he had a coca cola lolly ice that I wanted a go of and instead of just saying no or some variant he did the aforementioned act and then lashed it into a football playing field we were walking past and stormed off home. He isn't my favourite uncle but he did once shag a wall during a game of charades and before giving us a clue to what it was or how many words he started shagging the wall in the room and going WHOS THIS WHOS THIS HEY and was spectacularly had off by my cousin who responded 

"well it's you shagging a wall isn't it"

Back to 'CHEESE ON' in closing though, he was always my favourite because despite being a lunatic who couldn't be trusted, as evidenced by the updates I get every few years saying he's been fired from the buses again for stealing fares, he was always given the responsibility of letting the fireworks off every year which always either resulted in the shed going on fire because he'd nailed the catherine wheel to it as if he was putting a shelf up or the time when he specifically aimed a load of rockets at Ken's greenhouse next door.

just to go back to Golga for a second, did anyone ever mention how they got the effect for his mad skull disease under his mask? The closest any of us at the time got was theorizing that he downed half a packet of salted peanuts and tipped the other half into his mask when he was getting changed

Good to see they managed to recycle all those unsold Roland Gift figures for the Asuka one

Has anyone been to Brussels and used the Metro?

I was in Brussels in 2012 during the period when the Mayans predicted the end of the earth, and while using the Metro was given a flyer for a DJ night featuring a nice airbrushed picture of High Energy on the same carriage as a guy doing massive bumps of coke off the handle of a nail clipper. This was about 11 in the morning. Fair play to him.

When I saw that someone had leaked DMs from Foley I fully expected it to be photos of his big dirty auld helmet

Fingers crossed they make the most of it and bring out Snot, Dances With, Chubby, Sign Guy, Dudley and Spike for the speech

I'll be dipped in dogshit if Bertie sticks around any longer than his current deal deems necessary. He'll be the fucking mayor of Preston by Halloween.