Forks and Knives Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 I dont know.. Look at what happened to Nancy Benoit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishDave Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Apparently The Enquirer are saying the Benoit family were killed by a devil cult... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forks and Knives Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Woopsy!When Nancy Benoit lost her virginity, Chris Benoit found it and put it back.Superman wears Chris Benoit pajamas.Chris Benoit once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour Crossfaceing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chris Benoit says its beef. Then it's fucking beef!Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Chris Benoit does not feel like carrying you.Chris Benoit played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Chris Benoit. Sounds like a fair fight.When life gave Chris Benoit lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.Chris Benoit was never addicted to Steroids. Steroids was addicted to Chris Benoit.Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Chris Benoit is, in fact, still alive.Chris Benoit once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.Chris Benoit is the leading cause of death in 7 year old boys.Chris Benoit once double teamed a girl.......by himself.Chris Benoit doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another 7 year old twelve miles away.When Chris Benoit was a child, he fflying headbutted himself off the Grand Canyon, Chris Benoit the man was born.There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Chris Benoit.Chris Benoit killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.Killing Chris Benoit doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.The childrens game Simon Says should be renamed to Benoit Says because if Benoit says something then you better fucking do it. Just ask Nancy.When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chris Benoit jumps out.Chris Benoit's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.If Rosa Parks was in Chris Benoit's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.Your attraction to Chris Benoit in no way affects your sexual orientation.You can lead a horse to water. Chris Benoit can make him drink.When Google can't find something, it asks Chris Benoit for help.In 96 hours, Chris Benoit has killed 93 children and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Chris Benoit less than an hour. And he's done it twice.When The Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chris Benoit.Chris Benoit got Hellen Keller to talk.Chris Benoit can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.Guns dont kill people, Chris Benoit kills people.Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Chris Benoitr".In kindergarten, Chris Benoit killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.Chris Benoit has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.People with amnesia still remember Chris Benoit.It would only take 1 crossface for Chris Benoit to kill 50 Cent.If you spell Chris Benoit in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.Chris Benoit literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Chris Benoit laughs at Superman for having a weakness.Chris Benoit knows Victoria's secret.Every time you maturbate Chris Benoit kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Chris Benoit, you're fucking dead."When Chris Benoit pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.If O.J. ever met Chris Benoit, he'd confess.If Chris Benoit was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.No man has ever used the phrase, "Chris Benoit is a pussy" in a sentence and lived to tell the taleThe bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWCBD?"Chris Benoit makes onions cry.You walk into a bar and Chris Benoit's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid.Chris Benoit doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.Chris Benoit's house has an alarm system -- not to warn Benoit of intruders, but to warn the intruders of BenoitStone Cold Steve Austin was once piledriven, broke his neck and completed the match. Chris Benoit can't beleive he sold it.Chris Benoit is the 'i' in team.It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Chris Benoit milk. In which case, you're fucked.When E.T. phoned home, Chris Benoit answered.Nobody says 'hit me' when Chris Benoit deals Blackjack.If Chris Benoit misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.Chris Benoit removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Chris Benoit never needs to escape.On a high school math test, Chris Benoit put down "Domestic Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chris Benoit solves all his problems with Domestic Violence.Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Chris Benoit during sex; because they are doing the same thing.If Chris Benoit shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident.If you're holding a gun to Chris Benoit head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chris Benoit way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Chris Benoit been looking for him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IrishDave Posted July 24, 2007 Share Posted July 24, 2007 Fuckin' Hell... some of those are just wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Quentin Posted July 24, 2007 Paid Members Share Posted July 24, 2007 Stone Cold Steve Austin was once piledriven, broke his neck and completed the match. Chris Benoit can't beleive he sold it.That is fucking hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bazhsw Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 (edited) Woopsy!When Nancy Benoit lost her virginity, Chris Benoit found it and put it back.Superman wears Chris Benoit pajamas.Chris Benoit once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour Crossfaceing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Chris Benoit says its beef. Then it's fucking beef!Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Chris Benoit does not feel like carrying you.Chris Benoit played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Chris Benoit. Sounds like a fair fight.When life gave Chris Benoit lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.Chris Benoit was never addicted to Steroids. Steroids was addicted to Chris Benoit.Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Chris Benoit is, in fact, still alive.Chris Benoit once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.Chris Benoit is the leading cause of death in 7 year old boys.Chris Benoit once double teamed a girl.......by himself.Chris Benoit doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another 7 year old twelve miles away.When Chris Benoit was a child, he fflying headbutted himself off the Grand Canyon, Chris Benoit the man was born.There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Chris Benoit.Chris Benoit killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.Killing Chris Benoit doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.The childrens game Simon Says should be renamed to Benoit Says because if Benoit says something then you better fucking do it. Just ask Nancy.When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chris Benoit jumps out.Chris Benoit's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.If Rosa Parks was in Chris Benoit's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.Your attraction to Chris Benoit in no way affects your sexual orientation.You can lead a horse to water. Chris Benoit can make him drink.When Google can't find something, it asks Chris Benoit for help.In 96 hours, Chris Benoit has killed 93 children and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Chris Benoit less than an hour. And he's done it twice.When The Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chris Benoit.Chris Benoit got Hellen Keller to talk.Chris Benoit can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.Guns dont kill people, Chris Benoit kills people.Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Chris Benoitr".In kindergarten, Chris Benoit killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.Chris Benoit has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.People with amnesia still remember Chris Benoit.It would only take 1 crossface for Chris Benoit to kill 50 Cent.If you spell Chris Benoit in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.Chris Benoit literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Chris Benoit laughs at Superman for having a weakness.Chris Benoit knows Victoria's secret.Every time you maturbate Chris Benoit kills a terrorist. Not beacuase you masurbated, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Chris Benoit, you're fucking dead."When Chris Benoit pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.If O.J. ever met Chris Benoit, he'd confess.If Chris Benoit was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.No man has ever used the phrase, "Chris Benoit is a pussy" in a sentence and lived to tell the taleThe bumper sticker on Jesus's car reads, "WWCBD?"Chris Benoit makes onions cry.You walk into a bar and Chris Benoit's your wingman, you're probably gonna get laid.Chris Benoit doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.Chris Benoit's house has an alarm system -- not to warn Benoit of intruders, but to warn the intruders of BenoitStone Cold Steve Austin was once piledriven, broke his neck and completed the match. Chris Benoit can't beleive he sold it.Chris Benoit is the 'i' in team.It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Chris Benoit milk. In which case, you're fucked.When E.T. phoned home, Chris Benoit answered.Nobody says 'hit me' when Chris Benoit deals Blackjack.If Chris Benoit misspells a word, your dictionary is wrong.Chris Benoit removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Chris Benoit never needs to escape.On a high school math test, Chris Benoit put down "Domestic Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chris Benoit solves all his problems with Domestic Violence.Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Chris Benoit during sex; because they are doing the same thing.If Chris Benoit shot you while quail hunting, it wouldn't be an accident.If you're holding a gun to Chris Benoit head, don't count to three before you shoot. Count to 10. That way, you get to live 7 seconds longer.There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chris Benoit way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Chris Benoit been looking for himAre suggesting fictional character from 24 Jack Bauer and murderer Chris Benoit are alike? Because most have been amended from a 24 fansite..... Edited July 25, 2007 by bazhsw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz2050 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 I've just realised why Benoit was so strong.He was clearly always hanging around the gym! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny McBride Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 I've just realised why Benoit was so strong.He was clearly always hanging around the gym!And taking tons of steroids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz2050 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 I've just realised why Benoit was so strong.He was clearly always hanging around the gym!And taking tons of steroids.You reckon? I thought he was well hung. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy Posted July 25, 2007 Paid Members Share Posted July 25, 2007 wow, hadnt been in this thread for a couple of weeks........if somebody had have told me it had detiorated into a Benoit jokes thread I would have been here straight away.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forks and Knives Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Are suggesting fictional character from 24 Jack Bauer and murderer Chris Benoit are alike? Because most have been amended from a 24 fansite.....I've never watched 24.. So i couldnt tell you. I never got them from a fansite either.. Most of them will probably be from a Jac Bauer one, which in turn would have been nicked from a Chuck Norris one.. which would have been bagsied from a Vin Diesel one... Im not sure if there were any before that. But they amused me anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz2050 Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Are suggesting fictional character from 24 Jack Bauer and murderer Chris Benoit are alike? Because most have been amended from a 24 fansite.....I've never watched 24.. So i couldnt tell you. I never got them from a fansite either.. Most of them will probably be from a Jac Bauer one, which in turn would have been nicked from a Chuck Norris one.. which would have been bagsied from a Vin Diesel one... Im not sure if there were any before that. But they amused me anyway When life gave Chris Benoit lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.Kind of gives it away.How do you stop Chris Benoit hanging around your house?Cut him loose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forks and Knives Posted July 25, 2007 Share Posted July 25, 2007 Hahahaha i never even noticed that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JNLister Posted July 27, 2007 Paid Members Share Posted July 27, 2007 From ESPN.com. Uh-oh. Two congressmen responsible for conducting steroid hearings into Major League Baseball have requested that Vince McMahon, the head of World Wrestling Entertainment, provide records pertaining to the WWE's testing policies.In a three-page letter dated Friday, Rep. Henry Waxman, the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and Tom Davis, its ranking minority member, asked McMahon to provide a series of documents intended to give the committee and its investigation a detailed look at WWE's drug-testing policy, including information about the results of performance-enhancing drug tests on pro wrestlers."The tragic deaths of World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit and his family have raised questions about reports of widespread use of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs by professional wrestlers," the congressmen wrote."These allegations -- which include first-hand reports of steroid use by prominent former wrestlers -- have swirled around the WWE for over a decade. Investigations by journalists have described a culture of performance-enhancing drug use in professional wrestling, high fatality rates among young professional wrestlers, and an inability or unwillingness of WWE to address these problems."The letter from Waxman and Davis described WWE wrestlers as "multimedia stars that have an influence on the behavior and attitudes of the nation's youth.""WWE has a responsibility to do everything possible to eliminate the use of performance-enhancing drugs -- or the perception of such use -- by its wrestlers."The records request is wide ranging, and parallels what was asked of Major League Baseball. It seeks a list of drugs covered by its policies; the entity that conducts its drug testing; the number of tests it conducts annually; the protocols followed after a positive test; and the procedures for awarding exemptions.It also wants hard figures about the number of tests that the WWE conducts each year; the numbers of wrestlers tested; positive results for each specific drug; and the number of positive tests for which wrestlers were penalized.In an attempt to investigate the WWE's reaction to past scandals, the committee is also seeking "the results of any investigations prepared [by the company] regarding the deaths, injuries, or illnesses of current or former professional wrestlers that may have been related to the use of steroids."It adds to the list "all communications between [the company] and outside entities including communications with health care professionals or law enforcement authorities, regarding allegations of drug use by wrestlers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrAzY Posted July 27, 2007 Share Posted July 27, 2007 FINALLY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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