Linus

The Lion Kid is massively over. Lord Gideon Grey is a good comedy heel.

Good opener. Jonny Storm is still brilliant. Wild Boar has something. Enjoying this.

I am at the show. The set-up is hugely impressive. Decent crowd for a Monday night in a provincial town.

First live wrestling show in 8 years tonight. First one sober for 10...

It's a poor gimmick, whatever side it's used on. But it really sends a weird message having people boo him for warning of our planets demise, you know? I'd have dropped it by now. Isn't that what NXT is for?

Less than 50p a day, per house? Not good value? Jeez!

Hey, I watched NXT!

The show starts in the worst possible way for me - the Ascension. Man, they've been awful. No skills, no promos, no charisma. They're a poor man's Kronik.

You know what, though? The first half of this, with Viktor and Jason Jordan, wasn't bad at all. Real improvement, with both men making the other look good. Then Konnor & Tye Dillinger tag in and it's a crappy squash again. Almost there.

Then Hideo, the brave idiot, came down and laid into the Ascension, with predictable results. They beat on him AND WON'T SOMEBODY MAKE THE SAVE???? No-one did. Hideo has no friends.

I feel for CJ Parker. He's got something but he's buried in his current gimmick, the eco-warrior. Which, obviously, is a heel gimmick. America! He's against Tyler Breeze here. Somebody on this thread NAILED it when they said that Tyler Breeze was perfect late-WCW fodder. I still like his boots.

Mojo Rawley comes out for this one and STARES. He STARES and STARES and STARES. STARE HYPED! Parker gets a bit on top, which is the way thins work on NXT because what's the point in burying everyone? Unfortunately, they take that into the main shows and nobody gets over.

Breeze wins and Mojo STARES some more.

The Americans then got a Titus Neill interview and a Baron Corbin bit. I don't think we missed much.

Hey, it's Buddy Murphy and Wesley Blake! I like them! They're up against the Vaudevillains, who are subtley turning heel. By subtley, I mean scowling and having darker music.

This was a Good Match. Only 4 minutes, but Good. Vaudevillains went over with the Gentlemens Congress (surely Gentlemens Relish?), an uppercut into a swinging neckbreaker combo. Blake & Murphy got enough to build on their bright showing last week. Top stuff.

Women! Yay! Its Sasha Banks, who really shouldn't be very good but is, versus Bayley, who is a delight. This is, again, a Good Match. NXT has the knack of getting good back and forth matches out of 4-5 minute contests. That's good booking.

Banks wins with the Bank(s) Statement, and then laid into Bayley after the tap. Becky Lynch, the woman with a voice deeper than the Marianas Trench, came out to make the save, AND THEN TURNED ON BAYLEY! The hooer. Banks loves it.

The Americans got an Enzo & Cass skit. We did not. This makes me sad.

He, it's the main event. It's Titus O'Neil fighting Adrian Neville for the NXT Championship. O'Neil's just come in, from a show where he's feuding with a bunny rabbit. LEAVE MY PRECIOUS NXT CHAMPIONSHIP ALONE, YOU JOBBER!

I don't get Neville. I understand he's very good at what he does, but it means nothing to me. Still, he and O'Neil have a decent match, better in the places where it's an old school brawl than the spotty spotty flying monkey stuff Neville does. Good finish, too, if a bit rushed. Neville wins with that Red Arrow thingy.

Sami Zayn congratulates Neville but tells him he wants the belt. Good lad.

A Good Show.

Reading through it at the moment. Surprised at how comprehensive it is, at least in terms of who's included. Did not expect Barry Orton, David Schults or Billy Graham!

I must admit, when I found out how they're working the model these days I face-palmed. Because the kind of people who will pay $9.99 a month for unlimited wrestling (in theory) are the same ones who will pay $29.99 for a monthly PPV. The network is giving away money.

The Authority are suit-wearing men. I don't trust suit-wearing men, outside of weddings, funerals, and job interviews, anyway. The suits, then, are A GOOD THING because it means I don't trust them, and I'm sure the rest of the WWE's audience are as casual/feckless as I am.

The cell is hanging above the ring. I always worry it's going to fall. Call me Chicken Linus.

HHH does talky talky about about Hell In A Cell changes a man. Well, sometimes. That's me saying that, not him. Now Kennel From Hell, THAT changes a man. I do worry about having a dedicated PPV for Hell In A Cell matches. But you could at least time your booking to make it coincide with at least one feud where the heel keeps running away or the face is getting gang-banged. Yeah, I said it.

Orton versus Cena in the Cell, which is headlining I guess because they don't trust Ambrose & Rollins to take the show home when neither has done it before, is now a #1 contender's match. I'd forgotten there was a title. Is the champion that guy who never does TV, like Hogan in the early 90s? Is Lesnar filming Suburban Commando?

Orton said some stuff, getting extremely cheap heat from a mostly dead crowd, and so did Rollins, but only dogs heard his high-pitched whine. He did, however, have his tiny gold suitcase with him.

HHH said he was proud of his Authority boys, even Kane, which must have been a hard line to get right. Then Kane ended the segment by making his pyros go off, for absolutely no reason. Bless.

Oh, FFS, will these feuds never end! It's Sheamus & the Usos AGAIN versus Miz & the Dust Brothers AGAIN. Sheamus and the Usos do NOTHING for me. So vanilla. At least the Dust Brothers have something - Dustin's got that old school vibe at times, and Cody's a good hand. His Frank Gorshin Riddler is great.

Oh, we're getting something different: Miz is giving Mizdow his slot. This is A GOOD THING. Mizdow is so over right now. Give him the world title.

Ehh, there was a match, and Mizdow won with a schoolboy and there was COMEDY as Miz screamed "I won, I won!", and then both he & Mizdow said it in unison, with a slight look of puzzlement on Mizdow's face. GOLD.

Backstage, HHH stirred it with Randy, the big stirrer. Randy is not happy with Rollins. I imagine it's because he's always wet when he comes through the curtain.

Women. You know what? It was a bad match. Not a terrible match, or a shit match, just a bad match. This is progress. AJ lost to Alicia Fox, days before a title match. Booking. AJ has a terrible Thesz Press. Paige and Alicia seemed to lez a bit after the match before realising what they were doing. PG!

Randy told Rollins he wasn't happy with him. Seth hugged his tiny gold suitcase.

Randy came down to the ring and they were low to mixed about him. So he got cheap heat again and ramped it up. Cena came out and they talky talky'd. Good stuff. Then Paul Heyman came out because they were talking about Brock Lesnar, who apparently is champion? He did good talky talky, too. Then Cena went to give Heyman the AA but didn't. Orton, though, RKO'd him. And then RKO'd Cena. OUT OF NOWHERE. A good segment.

Hey, it's Rusev! He's going to fight Big E. Who's he? He's a former Intercontinental Champion, apparently. Has anyone NOT held that belt? He's a big fat lad who gets too much heat on Rusev for anyone's good here. Rusev wins with the Accolade, though.

Lana & Rusev waited for the flag to come down but it didn't. Cue Big Show, in what looked like the lady's loo, giggling like a child, and the AMERICAN FLAGG came down instead! Oh, how naughty! Rusev was not happy. He went to tear it down - you know, like the babyface did the other week to his flag - and Steve Blackman 2K14 in army fatigues hit the ring in protest. Well, I say hit the ring, he fucked up the slide under the bottom rope (which I used to have nightmares about when I wrestled, and never did try in the ring). Rusev kicked him in the face and soldier boy went down. HOW DISGRACEFUL.

After a commercial break, Big Show came out and was DISTRAUGHT. He could barely get his words out through his tears, the poor sod. He vowed REVENGE on Rusev because he was American and he was a Giant (Big John Studd said, "I am the one true champion giant" and Andre the Giant said, "I am the giant").

He called Rusev out and Rusev did not come out. He went looking for Rusev and found his sparse dressing room. Rusev was not there. THIS FEUD MUST CONTINUE!

Backstage, Ambrose is doing "research" for his match with Kane & the others. He is watching "See No Evil 2". Thank God he's not fighting Chyna. He told Cena that they were like superheroes. Cena was Superman and he was Batman. Cena said he was more like the Joker., who is dead I think? Ambrose did a funny.

Brie Bella fought Summer Rae because God knows we've not suffered enough. Nikki Bella watched on a backstage monitor. Brie won with a sloppy X-factor. At least it wasn't another schoolboy. Dreadful.

Dean Ambrose came to the ring because that's what we're doing tonight. He pulled out a dummy dressed as Rollins, which had as much charisma, to be fair. I love Ambrose. He's the reason I came back to this stuff. But this was TERRIBLE. Really bad.

Rollins came out, and did some generic heel stuff, which was all that seemed to work in front of a dead crowd. Even that didn't really work, because he's just a man with a small head in a suit, carrying a tiny gold suitcase.

They talked about how they were both ready and then FOLEY'S music hit, and down came an old man who looked like Mick Foley. He sounded like Mick Foley, too, but I refuse to believe that it was him, because he looked like he was hurting so bad. Maybe that was the point because he hyped how the Hell In A Cell is so dangerous. Seriously good promo, only slightly ruined by the nagging feeling that his beard looked stuck on.

Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler were in the ring when we came back from the break. Eh, who needs ring entrances? Dolph Ziggler is like Dr D David Schults, but without the throttling a talk show host.

They do that thing where a run of the mill TV match, not even for the title, takes so much out of both men that they're floudering on the mat at one point. I hate that. Cesaro wins with an uppercut, and then does ANOTHER FINISHER after the bell. Sucks to be Ziggler - that's four finishers in the last week. That'll learn yer to lose yer belt.

HHH made Kane the Ring General for tonight's main event. You suck, HHH!

Okay, this was a street fight, anything goes, 2 on 3 main event. Except that, for a street fight, they kept to the regular tag rules quite a lot. *shrug*

They got some tables and chairs out and stuff happened. Then, while the faces were vulnerable, the dastardly heels called for the cell to be lowered. Luckily, a camerman was inside at the time so the viewer at home got an unhindered view of the action! (I joke, but it was only the one cameraman, so some of the shots were from outside the cell. May have been deliberate, but I found it funny).

They went about 20 minutes and Orton won for his team with an RKO out of Ambrose's rope rebound. Then Rollins, the sneaky bitch (and that's what he is - a sneaky bitch heel), kerb stomped HIS OWN TEAMMATE.

Rollins then climbed on top of the cell to the meh of the dead crowd. A decent show.

I've seen that Val Venis is over for the wrestling convention. Any promoter that books him - as Val Venis, with the full gimmick - has got a ticket sale*

* depending on what I'm doing and where you are

Oh, I am arguing from a weak position, but it's fun all the same. For those who are there now, I'm judging them on how they are now, with a little of how they were before for the veterans. For all I know they may have spent the last 9 years being awesome. By the same stretch, Jericho may have gone to shit. The balance of probabilities can go either way. There's no right answer here, unless we're using the PWI500, which is never wrong. That's a joke, by the way

Jericho did Dancing With The Stars, remember. He's Darren Gough.

Promo since 2001's an easy one.

 

Steve Austin.

The Rock,

Edge (as overrated as I think he is),

CM Punk,

Konnan (the LAX thing was tremendous),

Mark Henry (quietly one of the best),

Hulk Hogan,

Santino Marella,

Mick Foley,

John Cena,

Steve Corino,

loads more too

 

WWE Workers current day?

 

John Cena,

Daniel Bryan,

Mark Henry when he's on it,

Big Show arguably,

Sheamus,

Cesaro (currently boring but better),

Goldust,

Luke Harper,

Dean Ambrose,

Seth Rollins,

interchangeable Uso.

I know it's all subjective, and that, but I have a few problems with your lists

Promos: Austin was gone by 2001, but I'll let it slide as he's been back for the odd turn. I'm told CM Punk improved everything dramatically in the time I was away. He'd have had to, but I can't counter that. Hogan is still a good promo but very much not for the modern product. I'll still allow. Foley's a shoe-in. As is Rock. I'll put Cena on a level. That's six, if I'm being generous. I'll add in Heyman for you, too.

Work: Of those you list, I'd argue only Cena (in his own way) and Bryan are anything at the level Jericho works at. Although we may be using different definitions of working here.

When's he modern era? As I could probably easily come up with 10 to beat him on promos and talent as a worker.

Let's say, for argument's sake, that the modern era is 2001-now, after the fall of WCW. So promo guys since then, and WWE workers now.

Jericho is nowhere near top ten in any of those things you think he is. If you really think he's one of the ten most famous wrestlers of all time, you're actually mental.

Of the former, name those above him. And the latter, I should have stipulated currently active/modern era.

Don't want to derail but in what is he not top 10?

On promos, maybe not of all time, but certainly in the modern era, and definitely in WWE right now.

On ring work, again not of all time, not of the modern era, and not even worldwide now, but certainly in the WWE again.

And mainstream recognition? To an American audience of both casuals and hardcores, definitely.

Whatever your opinion of his books - I've not read any so I have no idea how he comes across - to dismiss him for regarding himself highly shows 1) a lack of understanding of pro-wrestlers and 2) a skewed view of wrestling reality.

He's not an Observer Hall of Famer for nothing.

Back to books!

There was a tradition in All-Japan for the older guys to stick around, often into their 60s, but wrestle preliminary matches, mostly in 6-man tags. No reason why that couldn't happen.

Astro Hollywood, of this parish, wrote a brilliant eBook with a chapter on Pillman in it. Details in his sig.

I've been printing out and reading the Wrestling Observer from January 1992, one a night for the past week. It's fun because I'd not long been watching WWF at that point, and although I bought the Apter mags I certainly wasn't "smart" to the business. So reading about stuff I only saw kayfabed on TV or in Pro-Wrestling Illustrated is pretty cool. Also, you get nice little bits like:

WWF House Show Results:, 2/9 in Las Vegas drew 4,000 as Shawn Michaels beat Silver Shadow (the guy who puts up the ring because Jimmy Snuka no-showed) -** Feb 17th 1992

Here & There News Item: Todd Gordon, who worked as a financial partner with Joel Goodhart is going to start up a group called Eastern Championship Wrestling and use a lot of Goodhart's local wrestlers like J.T. Smith, D.C. Drake, Larry Winters, etc. Feb 10th 1992

Plus, the last remaining territories are just dying out. Living history.

My reviews make up for not having someone to say that stuff to while I'm watching. I said nothing during this show, sitting there open-mouthed, equally disgusted, bewildered and amused. A good show. But not for the right reasons.

My God, if you haven't seen Vintage yet then you're missing out: Hogan vs the Dungeon of Doom! Pure wrestlecrap!

I get that the divas matches on NXT are better than the ones on the WWE main roster and I can understand why you hate a lot of the divas like Eva Marie, Cameron etc who are basically only there because of Total Divas now but there's Paige, AJ, Emma, Natalya and Naomi who are great in the ring and some of them even came from NXT. You've got to remember that once on the main roster it's entertainment first, wrestling second.

I didn't see those girls on NXT so I can only judge them on what they do on Raw and Smackdown. And that seems to be have matches that, if they had men in them, would be embarassing for first-year rookies. I don't know what happens between NXT and the main shows but it's obviously having quite the effect!

I'd have a title shot up for grabs for the winner, have two faces enter at 1 & 2, go through the entire thing but double eliminate themselves before no30 comes out. No30 is another face, who gets the default win and the title shot. And then the others try to make him give it up.

I'd have a title shot up for grabs for the winner, have two faces enter at 1 & 2, go through the entire thing but double eliminate themselves before no30 comes out. No30 is another face, who gets the default win and the title shot. And then the others try to make him give it up.

Hey, it's that NXT thing that I like!

Baron Corbin came out, trying to look mean and moody but he needs to live it a bit more to fully achieve that, if you know what I mean?

He still didn't step over the top rope. YOU'RE SEVEN FEET TALL* (*may not actually be seven feet tall), STEP OVER THE TOP ROPE!

He destroyed Elias Sampson, who has had better days I imagine, in less than a minute. The build is good but he needs to be fed some "name" victims. They can start with Bull Dempsey, who seems to have disappeared.

Sami Zayn came out with a black eye. Made him look like a man who can't quite decide whether to wear guyliner or not. He's through being nice. I hope not, I like nice. Nice is good. Tyson Kidd came out and told Sami he was a failure. Which is harsh coming from him.

They did some back and forth and the upshot is a Zayn-Kidd main event. There were a couple of good comedy lines lost in Kidd's poor delivery, but that's why he's in development, right?

Lucha Dragons up next, against Wesley Blake & Buddy Murphy (who have matching gear but no entrance) in a non-title match. Blake, and especially Murphy, were impressive, and have a good old school (as in 90s, which is old school enough these days) look. Dragons won when Sin Cara did an arse bomb thingy. Seriously.

The Americans got a Mojo Rawley promo. We did not. Rawley is coming back more serious, apparently. Good for him.

Becky Lynch is out next, to face Charlotte. Regular readers of my Raw reviews will know that I hate and fear women's matches, like a UKIP voter hates blacks, but regular readers of my NXT reviews will know that women's matches, like ridicule, are nothing to be scared of on NXT.

Ric Flair's boy is growing on me. I now want her to graduate to Raw and destroy every shitty "diva" on that show in short order. She would become my favourite wrestler ever, and Dick Togo & Eric Embry would understand the demotion.

Charlotte won a decent contest. Yeah, the women are an integral part of NXT and I'm happy with that.

The Ascension said some things about Itami. Unfortunately, they're awful, so it meant nothing. MANAGER PLEASE!

Hey, it's Enzo Amore and Big Cass! There's some discussion as to whether their schtick would work in a bigger league, and I think it would. You'd have to have a strong program planned out, though, so it's an addition rather than a whole.

They're up against the Legionnaires, Hairy & Baldy. Some stuff happened and Baldy turned on Hairy, beating him up for allowing him to become Baldy in the first place. Baldy has a good insane look, and I hope he gets that as a new gimmick.

Because we wuz robbed of an Enzo & Cass match - and they've got to give them a team name, surely? - they decided we should have another match. They called out "Blue Pants", a female jobber who is hot, and who was just excited to be there, and "bluey" took on Carmella, who is also hot.

Bluey is an ex-Shimmer girl and probably could have given Carmella a longer showcase if asked, but probably best to keep it short at this point. Carmella won with a submission.

They're doing a lovely bit where Carmella will hug Cass but not Enzo. Enzo's reactions to that are great.

Backstage, Becky Lynch talks like a man at Sasha, who blah blah blah. Too Diva for me.

Yeah, main event! Sami Zayn is so over, and I count myself in that. He and Tyson go back and forth - Sami hits a Blue Thunder Bomb, Tyson gets the sharpshooter on (which dimishes with each escape) - before Sami hits an EXPLODER~! Suplex into the corner and follows up with a Helluva Kick FTW.

A good show.

Shush, or I'll call him John Hawk.