Bus Surfer

Come Dine With Me got ruined for me when I found out every single convosation and put down is rehearsed and performed just how the TV crew wants it

Doesn't make it any less enjoyable as a viewer though.

You'll struggle to find anything on TV these like CDWM that isn't rehearsed before its shot, It would just be a massive clusterfuck otherwise.

I cant remember what channel it was, but it started at 6.50pm. Superb.

Come Dine With Me was golden tonight.

Professional Deer Stalker Christian Viola is the greatest contestant ever. Absolute cunt of a man, but brilliant TV none the less. Lulu has a sausage neck and the blonde is just vile. The Italian bloke has some great facial hair and reminded me of Dev from Corrie.

This one is up there with the 'Roadkill' episode.

Both decent enough, although you will want to rip out Brian Knobbs' vocal cords so he stops fucking shouting in that bastard obnoxious voice all the while.

Holy Christ I coudn't stick it. Saggs almost murmurs so I turned up the volume, then Knobs made my ears bleed.

A horrid sound.

I've got either The Nasty Boys or Team 3D RF shoots to watch.

Which is better or are they both turds?

Cheers, mang.

Anyone got a link to the 97 timeline? I was watching it in parts on Youtube until it got taken down.

Can I please be in your gang?

It's definitely a step in the right direction.

What's the strangest thing you've ever found in a toilet?

I entered trap 3 in work once to find 6 unpeeled Bananas rammed down into the pan. Odd.

I want in but i am socially awkward. Any tips?

Music festival toilets are a nightmare. Leeds 2002 was so bad it was referred to as auschwitz by most people I spoke to. I've never seen so much piled up shit.

The image of running around the city with a Jerry Can so you can keep your favourite ride is great.

Also, PETA are getting in a twist at hurting animals, but flying planes into buildings is fine?

Fucking ridiculous isn't it.

Wage as much war on humanity as you like, just don't hurt the fucking dog.

And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time

 

On the subject of splash back, does anyone else put a landing pad down before they take a big dump? I have to put a few sheets of bog roll down to take the edge of the impact; otherwise I nearly always get a wet arse.

Yes, but only to minimise the sound of me laying cable.

Me too. My turds tend to make an awful racket whilst hitting the water and I've always been concious of guests hearing me squeeze one out. Sound proofing FTW.

Regarding splash back, I was at Wales/England qualifier this year and went for a piss half-time. As normal, the bogs were rammed and people were squeezing up to make enough room at the urinal for each other. We're all packed in tightly. I started pissing and I could feel warm beads hitting my hands, I looked to my left and there was a small child seemingly pissing his hardest into the urinal. The force he was using was unreal, he probably wanted out of the shithole as soon as possible, but in his haste, the piss was bouncing off the urinal onto my fucking hands!

Not happy.

Longevity~

Pissing directly into the toilet water at night always sounds loud as fuck, so I always try and hit the bowl, this usually leads to piss on the seat/rim. I fucking hate that.

I try to shit at work everyday I'm there. The facilities are great so I have no problem much like yourself. I also believe that the vast majority of Women do, but are too embarrassed to say. How the fuck can you not? If you need to shit, then you need to shit. Deny it and you'll end up with the runs.

I just noticed that I tend to lift my heels and put the pressure on my toes (like being on tiptoes but sitting down) when pinching the loaf. I don't have short legs either.

Anyone else?

Or to keep booze cold on holidays.

Does anyone know if the GTA III revamp is coming to the Xbox, or is it just on the I-Pad. Would love to play that again in HD.

Please, please, please.

I can't see why anyone would wipe standing. Not only are you squishing the shit up and making more of a job of it when you stand, but surely it hinders your wiping range? A sitting position provides a better wipe scope IMO.

Onto another important question...

How many sheets do you go through on average?

I try and use 2 sheets (folded) per wipe. Usually require 3 wipes.

"Ridin’ with my top down, and my jewelry on

Hey, I’m just getting my hood on

I’m just, I’m just, doing my thing..."

If that came on the radio whilst driving, Guaranteed you'd nod your head in pimping approval

#GrandTheftAutoMemories trending on Twitter. Should kill some time whilst I'm in work.

I need that extra inch diameter, and the plastic edge to not cut into my arse skin.

 

Do you have photographic evidence of any dangerous, sharp-edged toilet seats you have experienced?

 

I've been lucky so far, 32 years and I've never once sat on one with an edge sharp enough to break the skin.

If anything, the edges are moulded so as to avoid such a situation arising.

Although Justice is clearly a sick man I think I know what he means.

We used to have a toilet seat that was a bit wobbly, and occasionally I'd get some arse cheek skin caught between the porcelain rim and the seat when it inevitably moved when I parked up. Fucking horrible.

I can't condone the rest though, Justice

Hoping for a 'skin the dog to find stash of drugs' mission.