Fatty Facesitter

6 hours ago, RedRooster said:

I might be alone in this, but I really think they should be doing more with LA Knight. He’s very over, his promos are generally excellent and his ring work is solid enough for the deficiencies not to matter. I hope he gets given more of a chance after the draft. 

Add me to the pro-LA Knight crew as well - it's very strange to me that he didn't even get some sort of backstage cameo at Wrestlemania. He might be 40 but he's a great personality, can still go and is always good for a giggle, also works well as a either a babyface or a heel in this persona. He's one of the few WWE acts where I think he really strives for that sort of audience participation factor. 

2 hours ago, Arch Stanton said:

Solo's obviously not yet a main event star in the sense of being the main man in a headline programme, but he's already perfect for your TV main event slots, designed to push the stories along. The way they have booked him since his main roster debut has been brilliant. I sense Heyman may have had a big influence on how he's been used, he always used to swear by that simple philosophy of booking guys to their strengths whilst hiding their weaknesses and that's exactly what they have done with Solo.

Aye. For me, it's the aura they've built around him. Look at how Heyman quaked in his boots backstage when Solo cut him off mid-ramble and simply said 'Tell the tribal chief, I got this' - Heyman looked completely shooketh. The way he was looking at Jey last week was cold as fuck, eyeing up his own flesh and blood like he'd drop him at any second if Roman gave the order. There isn't a single main event TV match he's put a foot wrong in so far and the audience totally buy him as a legitimate threat. The addition of the Spike as his finisher is a brilliant and welcome addition - the moment it's administered, you know the opponent is brown bread. He directly influenced the outcome of the Wrestlemania main event and it's been very easy to slot him into the TV main events because he's such as key presence on the shows at the moment. 

3 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

I just think Smackdown really struggles without Roman. It’s just lacking a real top star.

I think the shows would benefit from a red hot Champion willing to work both Raw and Smackdown week in, week out.

A blonde Champion, maybe.

With a rubbish tattoo.

It’s a shame they haven’t had the opportunity to make that happen.

Listen, I'm as pro-Codylicious as anyone, and I too think it makes total sense to have a permanent champion on both shows driving things along. However, I'm at the point now where I don't expect Roman to appear unless it's announced well in advance - so to that end it doesn't actually affect my enjoyment of either Raw, Smackers or even the PLE/PPVs where he's got the night off. That's why the rest of the Bloodline to me have performed so admirably over the course of this run - it would have been so easy to go through the motions on the shows where Roman isn't around, but the Usos and Solo have performed so well and have established themselves in the main event scene along with Sami/KO to the point where you can actually build the shows around them and not just Roman Reigns. Not too sure how that would work if Reigns wasn't a consistent background presence, but you've got to give them their due. So absolutely I hope Cody gets the straps, but even then I don't need the world champion on the same show every week to enjoy the wider picture, if that makes sense. 

I believe that out of the remaining horses, Ain't That A Shame finished...last. Stone, dead, last.

Speaking of shame, I've lumped some beans on Shaun Murphy to take the World Snooker Championship outright, looking at a £180 return if it comes off. He's in rich form and should be well placed. Even if I find him to be the most cringeworthy human being ever. 

My first ever official adult bet was on the snooker - in the 2006 tournament, Graeme Dott was trailing against Ronnie O'Sullivan in the semi-finals. Of the four remaining cueists, he had the best odds (because he was losing). I stuck something like a quid on him - he only went on to win the lot. That £20 or so that I won felt like the bastard lottery. A lifetime of wasted money and betting heartache followed. 

3 hours ago, RedRooster said:

I know I’m not the first to say it, but @Fatty Facesitter’s show reviews are always must-read posts for me.

3 hours ago, RedRooster said:

[Solo being a main eventer] This is the only thing you say that I’m not sure I agree with.

Overall - I'm actually going to swap the order for this and just say that this was an absolute ripper of a show - I too enjoyed this with my morning breakfast and after watching this I'm full of beans (both literally and metaphorically). Bell-to-bell - this might have been the show of the week in terms of action, promos and easy viewing. This is Rampage, baby. 

👍 Spears/Jungle Boy - Smashing main event and I echo the sentiment around the warm welcome back for Spears. Lovely moment which I think took place during the picture-in-picture break - Jungle Boy got a kid in the front row to help hold Spears against the rail for a chop and you could tell it absolutely made his year (Spears then gave him the evils afterwards when he recovered). Great execution and a nice ebb and flow about this one. Only downside for me? It ended too soon! I was really enjoying it and although I think the surprise roll up was the right call in terms of the ending, would love to have seen them get a few more minutes to further build up to it. But then again there isn't much else on the show I would have binned to make up the time either. Lovely jubbly. 

👍 In stark contrast to my esteemed fellow forumers @ReturnOfTheMack and @Lorne Malvo, **I really like Taya Valkyrie and this match with Emi Sakura was absolute filth. They leathered the living daylights out of each other. Emi's almost too much fun to watch to be a heel, but the way she was dishing out those slaps and crashing into Taya when she was prone by the ringsteps was all rather vicious. Ten hard-hitting minutes between two game birds. Taya looked superb I thought - she's got a great energy about her, a winning smile and some great facials for the cameras. The post-match confrontation with Jade was another good bit of business and although the build before tonight hasn't been amazing, it's really turned for me this week and I'm bang up for the eventual TBS title match now. 

👍 Best Friends/Aussie Open - I'll almost always give tag matches a thumbs up if they start a show because they're such a cheat code for the live audience and the rest of the viewing public to get them pumped up for the night's festivities. Some good chemistry between all four lads here and a convincing clean win for the champs against established oppos. 

👍 Eight-Man - More of an angle but I really, really like this bit of business between Briscoe and the heels and the will he/won't he nature of joining them. Hope they keep playing this out for a bit longer. Also, any Double J sighting is probably an automatic thumbs up. 

👍 FTR promo - This was great. In stark contrast to their Twitter output, this came across as heartfelt and they had the audience in the palm of their hand and they looked and sounded like two huge stars. Just not the sort of promo or platform you could see them getting in WWE if they went back there, so I'm all for their AEW contract extension. 

👍 Acclaimed/JAS - The rap from the heels was so bad it was brilliant. I love the audience participation element of all of this and I'm bang up for it continuing. Somebody in another thread said they weren't too big on the JAS - to me though these supporting characters to Jericho are daft, silly and good fun. I do wonder how many of those new 'SCISSOR ME' t-shirts the Acclaimed will sell though! 

👎 I see we're going back to the Hardy Compound for more of that nonsense. How must Hook feel being a side character in this bollocks? Not for me, Clive. 

👎 What were those jobbers wearing during the eight-man tag 😂 What an eclectic mix of attires! 

** I will admit that perhaps my Taya praise is slightly obscured...by the fact that I actually quite fancy her. Oh to the be on the receiving end of that double knee stomp she did in the corner, also effectively battering Emi full in the face with her snatch. Goodness, gracious me. 

👍 Attitude era-style opening pyro! 🎆🎇

👍 Solo/Riddle - More of an angle in the end than a match but some good business done tonight to keep the intrigue of the rivalry going between the babyfaces and the Bloodline. Interesting that Heyman turned to the Usos to suggest that Reigns was losing patience with them and they either no-sold it or didn’t realize he was talking about them - a nice little nugget for us to chew on there. Solo is quickly cementing himself as a main event star - I didn’t think he’d pull up many trees based on what I saw in his NXT days but he looks like an absolute killer at the moment and always makes for essential viewing. Thumbs up for all Bloodline-related bits throughout the night. 

👍 Priest/Escobar - A little ripper between these two. Good business done tonight between the two factions to keep all of that lark going. 

👍 Woods/Knight - Fine and dandy without blowing the roof off the joint. Woods/Gunther for the IC title could be a cracker once they get to that. Interesting that Woods won by grabbing the tights - I personally don't mind it when babyfaces are bit cheeky and get one up on heels like this from time to time. 

👎 Women’s tag titles promo - Car crash. Morgan has the most annoying voice and personality on the planet. Sonya could barely get her first couple of sentences out. Green/RR rescued it a little bit but otherwise this was terrible. But at least the tag titles were made to feel like they mattered by virtue of being on the show with some dedicated promo time. 

👎 Nakamura/Moss - Great entrance for Shinny Shin Shin but to me this was too short, they blew a spot early and Nakamura’s offence didn’t look that convincing or vicious. It felt like a bit of a waste in terms of his return. They’d done a good job of making it seem like a big deal heading into the show, but once the entrance was done this whole thing went down like a damp squib. And now it looks as though he’s going to feud with Karrion Kross and I think I’ll be using the skip function for that when it happens. Personally, I'd have had Shin do his entrance, prepare to speak to an adoring crowd and then have Kross just come out and batter him. That sets you up for a big return match and you go from there. Otherwise I'm not really sure about all of this Karrion (carry on). 

Overall - A beige Smackers this week - watch through all of the Bloodline bits on YouTube and maybe Priest vs Escobar, but you can probably skip the rest. However, some exciting matches coming up over the next couple of shows, so maybe this sort of in-between show was a necessary evil to transition into those. Backlash is still shaping up nicely as well, so there’s lots of exciting stuff going on even if this particular show wasn’t memorable. 

42 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

As I have done every year for the past 5 without the slightest hint of success, I'm backing Robotson to win.

It's mad that someone of his ability has only won the #BigOne once and hasn't won it since 2010. Every year though he always struggles with the Crucible - he's obviously a tall, statetly fellow and it's extremely tight when it comes to the two table setup if you're lanky like he is. Every year though it's excuse after excuse - it's the venue, it's the table, it's something with his opponent, etc. It's never, ever him. He's a great player and in my few dealings with him during pressers and media ops he's always got good chat. But when it comes to the Worlds he needs to give himself a good shake, stop whining and just crack on. Because on his day he's a force of nature. Like thunder, if you will...

In a hypocritical and highly controversial move from me, I've plumped for Murphy to go the distance. He's in great form and as I've said many times in the fine pages of this thread, he's a mentality monster and will love throwing a bit of mind games in to give him that extra edge. He has a somewhat closeted nasty streak hidden behind the somewhat bubbly exterior. 

Sidenote - What a shame to see they've swapped the red carpet for a dull grey so that the Cazoo branding stands out. The Crucible carpet should always, always be red. 

6 minutes ago, Pork Pie said:

Kyren Wilson appears to be the only one who knew a photo was being a taken. It also looks like Murphy wants to murder him.

This reminds me of Smurph’s last run to the final because they’ve got previous - if you recall, Murphy started off behind in their match but pulled it back towards the end of a session and start fist pumping and celebrating with the crowd to get under Wilson’s skin. It worked and he went on to win the match. He then absolutely mullered him in the press conference afterwards saying how some players forget that this isn’t just sport, but it’s theatre and they have a duty to perform for the crowd. Can’t remember the exact quotes but essentially tried to say he was soft as shite.

I totally forgot that his round one opponent is the same chap that beat him at the UK a couple of years back and he went on that massive rant about how it was unfair playing against amateurs!

5 hours ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

I want to like Sky Blue, I really do. 

Me too. She’s young though and will hopefully improve with more matches against experienced opponents. I can see potential there even if she’s a bit raw at the minute. 

Absolutely gutted not to be there covering it this year - really missing the buzz of the media day and seeing all the old faces. Looking at some of the behind the scenes snaps it looks like more media than ever have packed in for this year - that’s lovely to see even if I’m absolutely seething with the worst kind of FOMO and professional jealousy. 

Next year, going to launch a crowdfunder to attend as UKFF’s official correspondent. Or if I can kip at someone’s gaff in Sheffield I’ll do it for free. Or for sexual favours. 

👍 Santino whipping out his cobra again 🐍🐍🐍

👍 Dirty Dango and Joe Hendry have two of the best entrance themes ever created and nobody will convince me otherwise. Push them both to the moon and back at once. Two of the best bits of audience participation in the promotion and across the week in wrestling in general - would love to see more of this across the business and not just with the odd act in each promotion. 

👍 Mickie cut a great promo to close the show - natural, believable delivery throughout. It’s shame to see another Impact title holder have to relinquish with injury, but to their credit they executed both this and Josh Alexander segment the previous week in totally unique ways. 

👍 Maclin/Kushido brawl/vignettes - Smashing bit of business here. Maclin cutting off the Canadian anthem further establishes his cunt status to the locals before he and Kushida showed a real intensity in trying to beat the living daylights out of each other to sell the match. Then the vignettes were really nicely produced as well. They were put into a tough spot with Josh Alexander getting injured but I’m bang up for this to see how it plays out. But do give the strap to Kushida, please! 

👍 Gisela Shaw/Tasha Steelz - Really enjoyed this because both of their personalities really radiated through the screen - they’re top heels and babyfaces respectively. Match had good intensity, some excellent selling and I wasn’t even remotely tempted to skip. Dug it. 

👍 Black Taurus has a daft aesthetic but to be fair I had fun watching this hoss chucking people around in the X Division showcase. Some fun spots in this one. 

👎 King/Kazarian/Hardcore War shite - Match itself was perfectly acceptable without really tingling the testes, but the wider hardcore war business can get in the bin. I’ve no desire to see Ric Flair apologist Dreamer vs Bubba/Bully/Bellend in 2023, and the mass brawl between the two teams at the end lacked cohesion, excitement or intensity. Even with Myers wrapping a chain round Dreamer’s mug, this was still a less intense segment than the Kushida/Maclin brawl. I know you’ve got constraints on the tele, but when your ‘hardcore war’ isn’t even the most violent/intense item on the show, that’s not a good sign is it?

👎 Death Dollz segment/match - Acting in the pre-match segment was off, match was off, whole thing was off. Not for me, Clive. Also why would Taylor Wylde do a backstabber on a larger opponent when in reality she’d probably get squished? Nah, mate. 

Overall - Lots to like about Impact this week with plenty of good stuff going on and plenty of talking points. Nice go home show for Rebellion. They've been dealt a tough hand with their top two singles champions getting injured but they've actually handled it really well. Like Joe Hendry, I believe!

1 hour ago, Devon Malcolm said:

 

Chorus will be stuck in my head all day now. You could easily have posted this in the song of the day thread too!

👍 Eddie K’s promo - Heartfelt, logical reflection on the Cesaro match, almost a conversation rather than a promo. As real as it gets. Love the uncut nature of his words (the piece is heavily edited with video bells and whistles but the actually dialogue has all the mumbles, stumbles, new trains of thought, etc). 

👍 Shibata/Coughlin vs Workhorseman - Really enjoyed this one. Two top moments - Shibabta breaking up a submission and then kicking his own partner in the chest to get him to stop fucking about (😂) and Coughlin lifting up his opponent into a suplex from a seated position on the mat. Lovely jubbly. 

👍 Athena with another onslaught of violence and gobbing off at the crowd, security etc. Tidy. “Welcome to Ring of Honor, bitch!” @JLM will have enjoyed this one. 

👍 The Joel Gertner-esque intros from Mark Sterling for Davari “He’s got more cars than the people in this crowd have teeth!” 🦷🚗 and Nese “He hails from an actual island, strong island New York!” 

👍 Other good matches/angles - Briscoe vs Davari was a solid opener, Bennett vs Martin was short but hard-hitting, Yuta vs Williams was a little ripper, Grayson vs Nese was decent as well (also it will be interesting to see if Grayson joins up with the Righteous), main event was fine even though you didn’t feel like the title was ever in jeopardy. Also, more promos and angle advancement this week which is something I moaned about last week. 

👍 Willow Nightingale is my other half’s new favourite wrestler and called her ‘pleasantly plump’ 

👎 Sky Blue? More like…Sky GREEN AM I RIGHT?!?!? 

Overall - Another decent show bell to bell with some more promos and angle advancement this week compared to last. The Shibata tag and Eddie’s promo are probably the two main bits to check out but lots to enjoy overall.

How has Jordan Davies got on this season? One of the most underrated ‘characters’ from the Series 1 doc, seems like a sound fellow. I pick him. 

Not to jinx it but I think they’ll have a really good crack at League 2 as well - could be looking at a back-to-backer. Season 4 of the documentary in League One, blimey. 

Another Yeboah classic - 

“On he goes…OH! 💦”

👍 Tony Schiavone - IT’S STIIIIIING!!! Big Steve saved the promo segment too (even if he did ramble a bit), because there wasn’t a great deal to sink our teeth into before that (more on this further down).

👍 Orange Cassidy/Buddy - One teeny, tiny bug bear - Mr Cassidy’s hand was already injured…I’m sure he’s right handed and it was instinct, but you could argue he shouldn’t have gone for a big right hand if it’s…well, fucked? But they told a great story and the execution in terms of the moves and transitions were great, plus it’s an interesting new direction for an Orange Cassidy match, having to sell throughout and elicit sympathy as opposed to laughter from the crowd. Pulled it off in spades (shades?). 

👍 Y2J/Keith Lee - Decent enough, even though in the end it serves as more of a vehicle to facilitate the interference from Swerve and another tease between Cole/Jericho. Still, some bright spots here compared to other moments/matches on the show

👍 Outcasts tag - Short but sweet, Storm looks in good nick at the moment. The admin of setting a future six-person tag was fine as well. Sky Blue though looked quite nervous. 

👎 BCC/Elite business - I’ll preface this by saying the eventual match will be fun to watch, but there’s so many issues with this week's output for me. First, with the greatest of respects to Nakazawa and Cutler, the fact that they had even modicum of offence against the so-far dominant BCC is nonsensical, even if they did eventually get slaughtered. Then, Kenny and the Bucks, after witnessing their stablemates get absolutely pillaged, beaten, victimised, bloodied and humbled, only decide to attack the Mox and co AFTER this has all taken place? Why not attack them before the match started when they’d have also had the element of surprise? Just a bizarre, illogical way of getting to this point. Who needs mates like the Elite? Fuck’s sake. 

👎 Darby/Swerve/MJF promo bit - Appreciated the quick start and the initial attempt at psychology but the momentum and logic totally collapsed either side of (and during) the commercial break. For instance, why, if your ankle is injured, would you then go for a double stomp? Also why the fuck are we doing stuff like poison ranas to the outside on free tele, or at all for that matter? Dangerous enough as it is inside the ring, nevermind outside. Also, Darby Allin doing a Paul Scholes impression by chewing on Swerve’s feet didn’t radiate intensity to me - it was an attempt to be radical for radical’s sake. Post-match promos between Darby and MJF were just going through the motions, nothing unique or memorable. 

👎 Hobbs squash/Wardlow business - Hobbs’ match lasted about as long as I do when watching clips of heel Trish Stratus (it was quick). Wardlow’s an animal and the eventual match will bang, but this again could have done with some fat being trimmed - it took an age for Wardlow to smash up the motor and they could have ended it there, but then he sauntered out for a pull apart as well. Even forgot to put the forklift in park. 

👎 Feels impossible for me to invest in Jeff Hardy - every time he comes back and earns our good graces, the wheels eventually come off for him. A nice moment for the live crowd and he looked quite lean, but for me this is one return too many for him and harsh as it may sound, he’ll be gone again in a matter of months if not weeks, either due to injury or another DUI. Go and enjoy time with your family and give it a rest, lad. 

Overall - A lot of instances where they could have trimmed the fat or gone in different directions this week for me. A card that promised some fireworks initially but didn’t really deliver and there were a couple of really puzzling executions. They'll probably have a blinder next week though and all will be right again. 

Some tasty matches in the first round - Ronnie vs Junxu could be quite decent and although Ronaldo will be the red hot favourite, the kid is no slouch. Some really, really tough matches to call. 

EDIT - Draw for the #BigOne

Ronnie O'Sullivan v Pang Junxu
Ding Junhui v Hossein Vafaei
Luca Brecel v Ricky Walden
Mark Williams v Jimmy Robertson
Judd Trump v Anthony McGill
Jack Lisowski v Noppon Saengkham
Robert Milkins v Joe Perry
Shaun Murphy v Si Jiahui
Mark Allen v Fan Zhengyi
Stuart Bingham v David Gilbert
Ali Carter v Jak Jones
Neil Robertson v Wu Yize
Kyren Wilson v Ryan Day
John Higgins v David Grace
Gary Wilson v Elliot Slessor
Mark Selby v Matthew Selt

His ascension at the time seriously devalued the WWE title for me. He loved to crow about 'selling out' the arena for his Judgement Day main event with Eddie, but I think the majority of tickets had already been sold well in advance and most people had probably been hoping to see the newly-returned Deadman once he'd been announced. 

I will say that I warmed to JBL over time in terms of him being a serviceable heel champion towards the end of his reign who was a natural foil for babyfaces to challenge. But the stench and overwhelming sense of WTF at the beginning is hard to shake off.

Man, 2004 Smackers really was smelly. 

Spare a thought for Mark Davis - on the tour since 1991 and needing to reach the Crucible to keep his pro status. He’s in the balls and just needs the pink to do so…

Fucking hell. 

3 hours ago, DavidB6937 said:

I'd say it’s definitely the most ive enjoyed the women's division in quite some time. There's a lot there that they could build the future on. 

Aye, some really strong personalities and some performers that have massively improved from the early days of 2.0. The next division I think that is going through a bit of a transition phase is with men’s tag ranks. It’s not so much a lack of teams but a lack of focus and without much compelling going on. The main roster is similar at the moment but the other way round - the tag titles are probably the most important they’ve ever been, but while the women’s division has some excellent athletes and we’ve had some cracking matches, the stories and PLE build-ups have been a bit scattergun. If Hunter keeps the book, that’s going to be a huge focus for him between now and Wrestlemania in Philly. 

2 hours ago, Nick James said:

Ruca vs Stratton was very enjoyable. Both women have got bags of talent and could see both doing really well on the main roster. Ruca especially is very fun to watch. 

I'm actually hoping Waller takes the belt and Melo moves on. Melo feels leagues above NXT at this point and Waller could do without another loss for the main one (He should have beaten Bron previously). 

It’s going to be interesting to see where they go. My initial impression was that they might call up Breakker for the draft and that this turn and removal from the title picture is essentially a vehicle to push towards that. He‘s been the poster child and already had two title runs since the relaunch, so unless they want him to spend a few more weeks/months really sailing down on his heel persona, you could argue he’s served his time and you can probably move him up and he’ll be relatively comfortable on the main roster. 

With Carmelo and Grayson, I actually wouldn’t mind them sticking around for a bit longer even if they’re both probably ready for a call up now. Neither of them have had a sustained crack at the title picture for the same length of time as Bron, so an extended run in the main event scene would not only make for great TV, but it could potentially further push and elevate them both to the point that they’ll actually be better placed to have a proper crack at the main roster when they do wind up getting the call. 
 

3 hours ago, Nick James said:

It's a shame not many people watch NXT anymore, because it does have some really good moments and seems to have turned a corner over recent months. 

Absolutely. I’ll admit to not having kept up with it regularly apart from checking the odd results but recently I’ve been sucked back in. Touched on this before but the standard of the show now compared to the initial relaunch is so much better, especially now some of the newer kids on the block so to speak are another couple of years into their training and reaping the benefits. I think more people are slowly going to come back to it as the standard continues to rise. 

👍 Main event four-way - Action-packed from bell to bell with plenty going on to keep you hooked. Huge performance here from Duke Hudson in particular who I think just worked his best NXT bout to date - proper shift. Waller vs Mello for the NXT strap is going to be an absolutely great title feud to take the brand forward depending on how long they want to run it for. 

 👍 Chase U/Breakker business - If they’re going to keep young Bronson out of the title picture for now, this was a surprisingly effective way to further establish his turn against another popular NXT act. What a despicable bastard young Steiner is, spearing poor Andre and ripping up the chase U flag! Other highlights of the segment - Andre almost saying ‘Sorry ass motherfuckers!’ before getting cut off by his comrades mid-sentence, the sign in the crowd saying ‘Big Duke Energy’, Duke fleeing with his MVP trophy before he could get attacked by Breakker. Lots to like about this.

👍 Sol Ruca/Tiffany Stratton - Great displays of athleticism and some really nice chemistry between these two in their sequences even if they started to run out of steam a bit towards the conclusion. Both of these guys have potential to be stars on the main roster in the long term. 

👍 Women’s tag titles - Not at all terrible and I appreciated the spice and intensity they all tried to employ, the backstory of the challengers and the dissension in the ranks added some intrigue. Execution wasn’t spot on and Alba Fyre looked like she took a nasty landing on the destroyer (can we bin that move off now? See also - Poison Rana example during the main event) but a good effort. 

👍 Cora Jade and Tiffany Stratton have really come on in terms of their promo game. A lot of NXT interviews and promos come across as quite wooden and rehearsed (because they are learning and they are rehearsing, bless them) - didn’t get those vibes from their output tonight and I think they’ve got tons of potential. 

👍 Drew Gulak sighting! 

👎 Eddy Thorpe squash - Nothing wrong with the majority of the match, but something to address - his finisher looks nowhere near as lethal as some of the rest of his offense. 

👎 Regal Junior (Dempsey) sounds about as comfortable on the mic as someone trying to delicately wipe around an errant hemorrhoid. 

👎 Dragonov/Von Wanker - Dragonov looked the part and the match actually started off ok, but Von Wagner has virtually no redeeming features or qualities. The right man went over. Hopefully Von Wagner fucks off now. 

👎 Dijak’s promos are supposed to radiate intensity, but his delivery is so bad it just makes me laugh.  

👎 Joe Coffey/Tate Ledger - Did its job of re-establishing Coffey and there wasn’t anything bad here, but there simply wasn’t enough to catch the eye and Gallus in general remain an exceptionally dull act. In a fortnight where I’ve watched a mountain of excellent wrestling, an average match without much to crow about isn’t enough to get a thumbs up anymore - there are some far more interesting NXT acts that, for me, could get some TV time. 

👎 There was some tag stuff off the back of this but the tag division is pretty dull overall and a major thing for NXT to address moving forward to try and restore to its former glory. 

Overall - Watch the main event, the Breakker/Chase U bits and Stratton/Ruca, maybe Cora Jade's promo as well but skip the rest. Bit more of a mixed bag this week in terms of quality but there’s still enough enjoyment in this modern version of NXT to keep me invested. Duke Hudson was the MVP this week both in storyline and metaphorically. I’d previously written him off as a Poundshop Hugh Jackman, but he was great on the mic and between the ropes on this show. 

Might as well throw in my bi-monthly @Jaffa call into the wild! 

12 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

Another international and another free kick but I can’t let a day pass without including my favourite ever goal. A goal everyone who played football at school used to try and recreate. Everything about it is amazing. The run up, the power, the swerve. It’s iconic. Could fill this thread up with plenty of goals by Carlos. But this is the greatest. 

Two other things I love about this - first there's the way the Brazil team celebrate with him in a relatively understated way. It's not like a 'Oh my God! I can't believe what you've just done!' reaction, it's more 'I fucking knew you'd do that, you absolute bobby dazzler'. Second, Barthez's hands on hips reaction as if to say 'What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Cunt.'

Gave the ‘season premiere’ of Powerrr a go - not entirely up to speed since the first couple of seasons of the show when it first appeared and there are admittedly quite a few names and personalities I’ve never seen or haven’t seen in an age, so a lot of the below might be rather unjustified and in some cases nonsensical. Also the matches are all from the recent PPV and it’s more of a recap show.

👍 Absolutely pissing myself at Sal the Pal’s hair and Gaabz the Gimp. Within seconds of seeing them for the first time I’m completely hooked. It’s like a car crash I can’t turn away from. What an absolutely mental way to start things off - imagine you’ve heard about the NWA season premiere of its flagship show and you think, yeah, I might check that out actually. And this is the first act you see! Love how the gimp gets attacked and whipped with the strap, and of course he likes it 😂 This is some of the daftest bollocks I’ve ever seen and in the best possible way. Ran a bit long but they actually did some creative spots with the strap. Nice to see them refuse to kiss the big lad’s feet at the end. Good for them. I hope whatever sordid little friendship they have goes from strength to strength. No idea what the fuck I’ve just watched and I’m definitely going to have to lay off the Piritize because I swear I’m hallucinating. 

👍 Kratos chucking around Yabo the clown was quite funny. The clown becoming distraught at losing his nose and being delighted when he found it, dancing to try and escape a hold and using his giant tie as a weapon were all nice touches to the gimmick. 

👍 May Valentine who does their backstage interviews has a lovely smile and a most pleasant aesthetic. Also most of the interviews and promos were alright. 

👍 Aaron Stevens! One of my favourite wrestling comedy performers. Thought he’d retired since the early days of Powerrr. Warms the cockles to know he’s still about. Hallelujah! 

👍 Danny Deals💰 

👍 I really like how everyone got a second or two of screen time for the battle Royale entrance to at least make some sort of facial expression or even just to mock the person in front of them in the queue of people heading to the ring - you don’t see that much in other promotions as everyone normally comes down at the same time en masse showing no personality, or the pricks are already in the ring after a commercial break. 

👎 Actual battle royal itself was far too busy, too clunky, too complicated and way too long. Not for me, Clive. 

👎 Didn’t like Billy Corgan ribbing Joe Galli about switching up the order and ruining his flow. Why leave that in? Just re-shoot that bit or just go with his question, there’s no need to talk about the battle royal again that already lasted for bloody ages. Also Galli had to sit there for a fucking age while Corgan and Pat Kelly talked utter bollocks before he could get a word in and move things along. 

👎 Mentioned a similar item in the Impact thread but let’s sort the commentary desk out as it looks so low rent. Also why is Galli hidden by a giant monitor - they surely don’t need that for these different links? Pull your head out of your arse Billy. 

👎 Another Corgan moan, but again, those links lasted a fucking age. I know you’ve got to promote your shows and try and direct people to buy the repeats on Fite, but I feel like you can do that in a separate YouTube show which isn’t billed as a ‘season premiere’ - it’s a bit misleading. And I personally feel mislead, upset and betrayed. 

Overall - Sorry can’t talk now, filling out my application for Austin Idol for UniversalWrestlingCollege.com

16 hours ago, Supremo said:

Call me a cynic, but after her Wrestlemania performance I'm not at all surprised that they got the belts off Lita without having her wrestle again.

To be honest I think this would have been the case even if she'd put on a ***** classic. A one off on Raw to set the 'Mania match up, the Mania match itself, then an injury angle to drop them. Unless they were paying her a bigger wad I don't think she'd have done three matches with two of them being on free tele (for the best as well, she was cack). I'm just surprised they had Trish fill in for a match on free TV as opposed to just being revealed as the attacker and building from there.

15 hours ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

Anyway, his little riff leading to “EARN IT? I AM IT!” is as close as he’s gotten to that real stream-of-consciousness, righteous indignation, Dusty Rhodes style promo. I think he’s getting there. His promos since coming back have all been brilliant in spite of his weird speech pattern and vocabulary, but if he can tap in to his inner Dusty more they’ll end up enhancing his promos and taking him to a new level.

Bang on board for this. I think as we get closer to the inevitable rematch we're getting closer and closer to an iconic promo/moment from him that'll become his equivalent of hard times. I think that's what h's searching and striving for as a performer and he's absolutely on the cusp. Rumour has it that he knew well in advance that he wasn't getting the straps at Mania - part of me wonders if he's saving some tricks up his sleeve for when he knows he's about to take over the mantle...which could be counterproductive as it could be a swing and a miss. It's Cody though. I'm on board. 

9 hours ago, FUM said:

I quite like Bronson Reed but I hope I never see him in a brawl after a match again. Felt like I could have taken him watching that and I’ve only been in about two fights in my life - the guy was absolutely done in, it was horrible to watch. What made it worse is Lashley looked like he could go the rest of the night if he needed to. Lost a lot of his aura there for me.

Think Reed has a lot of potential but so far he's been much more effective battering smaller foes. Think this was a mixture of them running too long and kind of going through the motions - Lashley can go all night, but when he's doing his naff flatliners and the like it gets a bit tedious. What we should have had was some of the classic big man tropes thrown in - trying to flatten each other, slapping each other's chests, no selling slams, that sort of lark. Cut the matchtime in half and go straight to the brawl after that. 

8 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Cody's been selling that Wrestlemania chair jab to the ribs longer than the Young Bucks have sold in their whole careers combined. A great worker at the height of his powers, stamped on by a decrepit old cunt with Dick Tracy villain facial hair.

When he's on form like this he just pisses star power. It's stuff like this and his promo tonight that leave me still convinced that he's still going to get his moment and it's going to be such massive outpouring of joy when it does happen and it'll be totally, utterly deserved. The beautiful bastard. 

Just for you @Frankie Crisp. 

Not a bad effort!

An absolute thunderbastard. Great comms from Parry here as well.