neil's bitch

so who popped it then?

I'm thinking of watching Burn After Reading.. can anyone recommend it?. Bare in mind that I didn't 'get' the awesomeness of A Serious Man by the Coens. It left me with a bit of a meh feeling.

If your after a "HAHAHAHAHAHAH" comedy, then no. If your after a dark, very dry, "Sort of nothing actually happens" sort of comedy, then this is for you. I found myself not laughing for much of the film, only to explode with laughter at odd jokes, which for me made it all worth it.

Again if your a fan of "gag every second" comedy movies, give this a miss.

Meet The Spartans

 

So this was on Film4 the other day, so i thought id tape it on the ole sky+ and give it a watch!

 

So as you guess, its an over the top mick-take of 300 and various otehr films/TV/Music based stuff from around that time. Most of which still stand up fairly well in there own right, although one reference to Brittany spear shaving her head made me feel a bit old!

 

Bar that i cant really say alot other than if you like this sort of film, give it a watch as i thought it was a bit funny, and i even laughed out loud to a few bits. The only thing id say about it is that if yo u on into this to watch "a movie" you'll be disapointed. If you go into this looking for a bit of a cheap laugh, give it ago as it might make you chuckle.

 

Some good jokes, some way to obvious jokes as well as some either old or amercian themed gags that made me feel a bit old, but again a good little chuckle here and there. Of the Spoof film series its one of the better ones.

 

6/10

 

I watched it thought it was shat, not worst film ever shat, but still shat. The ideas that could have been good were poorly implemented ( I quite liked the blue screen joke) and criminally a lot of it was completely and utterly devoid of humour whatsoever. The use of lookalikes and mimics over real people is okay as long as there isnt a multitude of them this had a parade of shit characters ( Paris Hilton disfigured, Donald Trump wig joke et al) and they were all awful. if we are doing scores then

 

2/10

Oh yeah its well shat, but it made me chuckle in places, the blue screen gag being one of the better jokes. Mainly the idea is, if you go into it thinking "Well i know its shat, so i'll just enjoy myself", it comes across alot better, amainly as.....well.....its shat, but enjoyable shat, if you want it to be.

Still shat though!

Zoolander

Another one that was on the other day that i taped, and i must say i love this movie.

If you havent seen it, give it a go, mainly for the ben stillers charecter. Not alot you can say about this film other than i think its supposed to take the mick out of ther modeling world and how shallow these people are. But it has some belly laughs and if yu like ben stiller, will ferral, owen wilson and various cameos, you'll like this film.

The only thing i will say is, why is ben stiller really good when he plays "a charecter". And when i say that i mean in alot of films, he sort of acts it straight as if its himself, and i dont find him funny at all. In films like this, he puts on a stange voice and over-acts it a little bit, and hes amazing!

Very funny, worth a buy (as thats how cheap im guessing it is these days),

7.5/10

Also:

The Fifth Element

Im guessing many wont see this how i do, but WHAT A FILM! Maybe i see it in a certain light, (it really reminds me of being a younger lad), but i love this film.

For those who havent seen it, the basic idea is that every 5000 years or so, the ultimate evil spurts into life in a mission to turn life to death, light to dark etc etc. The only way to stop this is to gather the 4 elements, (Water/Fire/Earth/Wind) around the Fifth (The supreme being), and the "devine light" will emit from the fifth element, sending the evil packing. Although if the evil stands where the fifth element should, the universe will die.......basically!

So we shift to some sort of future (i think its 2119 or somthing like that), where we have flying cars and a crazy dress sense. Bruce willis is a taxie driver and former marine of some kind. During all this some aliens who are bringing the 5 elements to earth, (to stop the impending return of said evil), get shot down. The only thing recovered is part of the fifth element, which looks like its hand.

Being the future and all, they use a machine to rebuild the fifth element, which turns out to, not only be a women......buts its a very hot Mila jonovich (sp?). As yo ucan imagine various stuff kicks off in trying to find the other elements, as the evil (shown as some sort of black planet like thing in outa space, which is something along the lines of 1200 miles in diameter), as Mr willis gets drawn in to save the day.

Various cameos from Chris tucker, the american guy who plays captain hollister in red dwarf and of course Mr Lee evans (~!), get special effects.....(well for 1997), and its almost still hold up well in 2010!

If you havent seen it, i must say.......what have you been doing? Go an watch it now!

8/10!

Meet The Spartans

So this was on Film4 the other day, so i thought id tape it on the ole sky+ and give it a watch!

So as you guess, its an over the top mick-take of 300 and various otehr films/TV/Music based stuff from around that time. Most of which still stand up fairly well in there own right, although one reference to Brittany spear shaving her head made me feel a bit old!

Bar that i cant really say alot other than if you like this sort of film, give it a watch as i thought it was a bit funny, and i even laughed out loud to a few bits. The only thing id say about it is that if yo u on into this to watch "a movie" you'll be disapointed. If you go into this looking for a bit of a cheap laugh, give it ago as it might make you chuckle.

Some good jokes, some way to obvious jokes as well as some either old or amercian themed gags that made me feel a bit old, but again a good little chuckle here and there. Of the Spoof film series its one of the better ones.

6/10

Sweeny Todd

Ok so i'll make this brief, all the actors are good in it, the acting is fine......i just dont get musicals. I understand the idea etc, but i just thought most of the songs for this particual musical where , well, bad.

Again, some might like them, and i have seen musicals which i actually like, but in this particular film i just thought all the musical number where very bad, meaning in this case very poorly written. Again the actual musical score was well done, mainly just the lyrics for me.....very bad.

So im guessing if you like that sort of thing it'd be worth a watch, but its not chicago by a long shot.

for me, 4/10.........a little bit rubbish.

Wall-E

 

So Mrs T bought this on DVD the other week and although we'd allready seen it, we thought we'd chuck the dvd on for no real reason. (Also the extra of the animated short "Presto!" is one of the funniest things Pixar have done, ever. And thats saying something considering its a 5+ min short film. I suggest you check it out if you havent!).

 

Bar that Wall-E is of course the story of a little rubbish collecting robot left behind on earth whilst the rest of the planet leave until its done. For some reason he's the only one left, but is content in his role. Another robot turns up from the human ship in space, called EVE. She is looking for signs of natural life so that the humans may return.

 

I wont spoil it if you havent seen it, but i will dare say this is the best movie pixar have done, (again i dare say it), even better than toystory. I'll guess you'd have to make up your own mind, but this film is a gem in the pixar history, and in some parts can really make you think about where life is heading, (mainly the fat people in chairs, drinking food from cups and not taking there eyes off the screens in front of them).

 

totally amazing film, worth a watch/buy and/or rent

 

9/10

 

Still not got round to seeing this yet.

 

Is it better than Toy Story 3 because I don't see how Pixar can top that?

 

Either way, it is going on my list, so I will see it soon enough.

I would say that although toy story 3 is amazing, as is the whole series, im going out on a limb and saying wall-e is the best movie pixar have ever made.

DOnt know if anybody else would agree, but i personally think that in the world of pixar this (for some reason to me) seems to be the most realistic. Again im aware its about robots/the future/space travel etc, but the robots behave like robots (if that makes sense) and it all just seems more plausable rather than talking cars/toys/bugs etc.

Give it watch, either way if you watch it, be sure to watch the "presto!" feature, as its also gold.

Wall-E

So Mrs T bought this on DVD the other week and although we'd allready seen it, we thought we'd chuck the dvd on for no real reason. (Also the extra of the animated short "Presto!" is one of the funniest things Pixar have done, ever. And thats saying something considering its a 5+ min short film. I suggest you check it out if you havent!).

Bar that Wall-E is of course the story of a little rubbish collecting robot left behind on earth whilst the rest of the planet leave until its done. For some reason he's the only one left, but is content in his role. Another robot turns up from the human ship in space, called EVE. She is looking for signs of natural life so that the humans may return.

I wont spoil it if you havent seen it, but i will dare say this is the best movie pixar have done, (again i dare say it), even better than toystory. I'll guess you'd have to make up your own mind, but this film is a gem in the pixar history, and in some parts can really make you think about where life is heading, (mainly the fat people in chairs, drinking food from cups and not taking there eyes off the screens in front of them).

totally amazing film, worth a watch/buy and/or rent

9/10

Skyline

Got tp the cinema last night, and jackass has been taken off in favour of harry potter.......and i was not watching that. So the mrs suggested this!

Ok, so im a bit funny about this film, as its.......ok, but some parts are slightley rubbish. Basically aliens decied to invade and all hell break loose. They use some strange beam to sort of infect you, which in turn makes you walk towards them so they can abduct you.

This of course revolves around some couple who are on holiday visiting a friend of the guys, (which the friend ends up being Turk from scrubs!), when all this hell kicks off. Basically its ok, and funniely enough as i was watching it, i did think "if this ever happened, everything we do during our life would seem pretty stupid". That aside there are also a few flaws. When everything really kicks in, and the army show up........a huge sky battle erupts. But the problem is that as a view we only see bits from the survivors perspective........inside a hotel room. I personally think that scene could of been 100 times better if a side story had one of the pilots involved and we could see this sky battle all breaking out!

Bar that the CG is amazing, (funniely enough the main charecters,[turk and the main bloke], work as special effects people in hollywood from what i gatherd), and the story is....allright. Bar that some bits of the film are a bit cack, but no where near as bad as some reviews ive read.

So, in summerey even though some parts are a bit pants........i was (like the people in the movie) sucked into it an even enjoyed it.

Id say worth a rent when it comes out, but if you liek CG stuff, get down the cinema as it'll look a million times better on the big screen.

7/10

I was really looking forward to seeing Machete this weekend..... And it's not fucking on anywhere near me. Fuck you Harry Potter with your 20 screenings a day!!

I was off to see jackass 3-D on saturday although the Pott-a-fest has taken almost everything off that is good. So im having to go tonight at 8.40pm. Mainly because before and after this is more harry F'ING potter.

I hate him so.

Toy Story 3

WOW! Thats all i can say. Aparently its been 11 years since the last one, (which makes me feel old as my daughter is now 5 months old, only just being born in time for this one at the cinema), and its really really good!

Not alot i can say without maybe spoiling it for others, all the comedy is spot on, all the sad parts are spot on (i didnt cry but was soooo close at the very end of the movie), and bar that how the hell do they get EVERYTHING in this movie? When i say that i mean its detailed down the last item on the wall that you can barely see, yet think "wow, this must of taken ages to make", then again maybe thats why its taken 11 years?

All in all, if you dont have kids and love the first 2......this is the film for you. I'm sure kids will also love this, maybe worth showing them the first 2 if they havent seen them, and although this is always going to be a kids film, i would of said this was more for the now older toy story fans!

Totally amazing, worth buying if you can get it cheap enough, bar that to hell with it and buy it for full price as its great!

9/10, great story, great laughs and amazing detailed.

More 3 for

(FWA

How did he even get ast in this film then? I found out via the extras that he is french, but always wondered how he ended up in the role. His english was bad, as well as hjis scottish accent....plus his acting is a bit hit/miss at the best of times.

 

AGain i still like him for cult reasons but you do have to wonder!

 

Lambert was born in the US, his dad was a diplomat or something, but grew up in Switzerland I think he got the lead for Highlander after Greystoke the Legend of Tarzan where Andie Mc Dowell gets dubbed by Glenn Close either that or was Besson's Subway

 

The accent he learned was to be specifically non foriegn. rather than 'Scottish' to begin with. There is load of stuff kicking about the net regarding it

 

IMDB Confirmation of language barrier

 

Highlander Trivia Page

 

 

The language stuff comes under 'faux flunecy', where the actors dont have a clue about what they are saying, necessarily, they can just speak their lines properly or as directed as voice coach. Hence the stunted nature.

 

There are lots more Iam sure.

Or im aware of his "non-specific accent", what i was talking about was in the flash backs he IS tryign to a scottish accent, you can here him say specific words with a very bad accent he is attempting to put on. Otherwise his non-regional-american accent is fine, jsut more specifically his actual scotland flashback accent that was a bit bad. Bar that again i still like the man!

Also an interesting notion on foreign actors in english speaking films, when they may or may not have understood what is being said. Im sure that does happen, although if you didint know what you were saying, you'd have to be very carefull about what film you star in!

Was going to mention, connery doesnt do "Accents" does he? hes always Sean Connerey. Also correct he is egyption in highlander. I dont mine his, its mainly lamberts seems even worse, because everybody elsein that scene is either english doing an accent or actually scottish, so he sounds soooooooo bad!

 

Either way i still mark out for christopher lambert!

 

Lambert barely spoke any English and had to re dub all his lines post production. It was in some Empire Feature last year and may well crop up on the Anniversary DVD somewhre

How did he even get ast in this film then? I found out via the extras that he is french, but always wondered how he ended up in the role. His english was bad, as well as hjis scottish accent....plus his acting is a bit hit/miss at the best of times.

AGain i still like him for cult reasons but you do have to wonder!

Highlander

Any way sean connerey is good in this film, and most other people are, including lambert himself (although his scottish accent is so dire its unreal!), but again i like it.

I'd say that Lambert's Scottish accent is more believable than Connery's Spanish accent.

 

 

 

Connery's Egyptian Accent (ah the muddled world of Highlander *sigh*)

Was going to mention, connery doesnt do "Accents" does he? hes always Sean Connerey. Also correct he is egyption in highlander. I dont mine his, its mainly lamberts seems even worse, because everybody elsein that scene is either english doing an accent or actually scottish, so he sounds soooooooo bad!

Either way i still mark out for christopher lambert!

Highlander

Well ive had this on DVD for some time, and seen it before many times, although for some reason really wanted to watch it again.

So last night i did so! All i can say is, although i think its a decent movie, im sure most would disagree as its sort of mildly terrible. And also i didnt know the chritopher lambert was french in real life........or did most people know that?

Any way sean connerey is good in this film, and most other people are, including lambert himself (although his scottish accent is so dire its unreal!), but again i like it.

Of course if you havent see it, look away now! As Lamert wins "The prize" in the end, which or course makes any other sequels/TV series' totally irrelevent, and slightly pointless.

All i can say is, a good movie that may not of aged well, but if your willing to give in to the story and ignore a few bits and bobs, its a decent movie, (with a wrestling match featuring the freebirds!!! ~!), and of course a kick ass sounds track done by queen!

7/10, not the best and again not aged very well, but give it ago and you might like it!

You seem to be under the impression that Vitali is the top man in the heavyweight division, which isn't the case.

 

He holds the WBC version of the heavyweight title, whilst his brother holds the IBF, IBO, WBO and Ring Magazine belts.

 

Wladimir is the #1 fighter in Heavyweight boxing at the moment.

I am aware of this, im just saying, im pretty sure thats what the first deal was. Not my idea of what it should be, what it was. Tell that to them!

Wasnt the first deal (before Haye pulled out with injury) that he had to beat Wvladamir twice, to get to vitali? I could be wrong but thats what i remeber seeing on the news around that time.

If he could wvladimir for title X, he would he give him a rematch for other titles on the line.......then heading for Vitali and his title.

?

i seriously don't get the 'cocky Khan' thing!? someone please give me an example of when Khan fought cocky or sounded cocky in an interview, he might be confident, but ive always thought he comes across fairly grounded. Now, Prince Naseem...he was cocky.

He got very "cocky" after his first few fights, mainly as he was being fed nobodies. I would say confident also, but it was to a point where when he fought said cuban guy he thought it would be a walk in the park.......Until he got KO'ed. Be it confidence gone wrong or cockyness, it just looks bad when people see your being fed nobodies to bumps up your record, and then you act like your very very good at boxing.

 

Again he IS good, but i think it went to his head a bit. These days he's very good, and is a bit more down to earth, but it was mainly back in the start of his carrear.

 

again, ive watched every fight of Khan's career and ive never seen him get overly cocky? he talks with confidence but for a boxer i think he's very humble. As for his level opponent, bashing that is ridiculous, look at any top boxer and they all started their career fighting 'bums', the difference with Khan is that he did it in the spotlight. No different to what Frankie Gavin and co. are doing now.

I aware most people do this, but in khans case , (although i think it was butch who mentioned something about him being asian which is dead wrong), i personalyl think the public thought "Wow, hes a good kid. It'll be interesting to watch him fight", and we basically got the "Number-Bumpers" like most pros do. I think the main issue is most people expected him to have a certain level of competition and not just bums.

And your are right in saying most of the time he has been (and is currently) very level headed, although for example...(although im going to sound very stupid here)....in one of his early fights, i tihnk it was after a couple of wins and "Confidence talk" such as "i'll beat this guy etc etc", if i remeber rightly he was punched very hard by his then lower class opponant, who then khan complained the the refferee about it. Now again that might sound a bit stupid, i remeber although mainly because of the lower class guys i cant remeber the guys name, but it was that sort of stuff along with his "Confidence" that started people not liking him very much.

Again, should he be confident? Yes, he talks the talk and when he wants to, he also walks the walk. Did his confidence inflate his ego a little bit during the first few fights? Yes it did, which ultimately lead to his only defeat so far, which in fair dues, kicked him up the arse into being the fighter that he is now. To people dilike him now? yeah, although i would say those people havent watched since around that time, becaues of the talk/hype and then susequent KO.

I now personally like him very much, he's shown he can do good and is doing very well currently. Again i personally think he did have a ego after a few fights because he may have bought his own hype a little bit, the evidence being his "Swagger" and then followed by his KO.

Apologies if you disagree, but i reckon alot of people saw what im talking about! Not because he is asian, (although im guessing some may be because of that), as im guessing the 95% of people who didnt like him are either stupid "Pub boxing fans" or saw what i was talking about.

Whilst very true, i personally think Haye is great, and i havent heard any "Haye-Bashing" although i can see where some people come from.

Due to his call out the "injury" to pull out. I personally reckon it was bad timing, but i know that others would be like oooh, that was timely ;-)" , He'll only get the recognition he deserves after he beats the Klitchos.

Also also, there isnt many "Tope draw" heavyweights currently are there?

i seriously don't get the 'cocky Khan' thing!? someone please give me an example of when Khan fought cocky or sounded cocky in an interview, he might be confident, but ive always thought he comes across fairly grounded. Now, Prince Naseem...he was cocky.

He got very "cocky" after his first few fights, mainly as he was being fed nobodies. I would say confident also, but it was to a point where when he fought said cuban guy he thought it would be a walk in the park.......Until he got KO'ed. Be it confidence gone wrong or cockyness, it just looks bad when people see your being fed nobodies to bumps up your record, and then you act like your very very good at boxing.

Again he IS good, but i think it went to his head a bit. These days he's very good, and is a bit more down to earth, but it was mainly back in the start of his carrear.

Also, am i the only person tha reckons haye could do wladimir........although Vitali Would destroy him?

Wanting to know why everybody hates arguably one of Britain's best boxing prospects ever, Amir Khan, is a better quesiton?

 

Because he's Asian, and we don't like Asians as much as we say as a society is all I can think of. Look at Naseem Hamed. He was hated and seen in the parlance of my area as a "Cocky Paki". As Kahn is also Asian, he's obviously cocky himself, especially the way he wins all of his fights, well except for the Prescott fight and people actively celebrated him getting knocked out there. All kinds of poison about him being a Muslim was spouted in the pubs after that fight. Yeah, I'd say Kahn hate is a race thing, at least to some extent. Maybe it's some backward problem with Asians being atop when we'd rather a great white hope. Who knows?

Wow really?

Im not sure about you personal ethnic background butch, or if this is a woosh moment for me, but i personally think he has the talent, but dont like him much because during his first few fights he wa a bit of a cock. He got KO'ed by that cuban fella (was it?) mainly because the other guy said if he didnt win, his family wouldnt eat food that night. So he went in there with the passion of a boxer and sparked him out. Khan on the other hand has improved 100% and hasnt been that bad, he's still very cocky though, and for me (a white guy) i have no problem at all with him being asian. Its ebcause he is/was a bit of prick as a person.

Again apologies if that was some sort of sarcasm, but i read it and was like "Really?".

Not me, but whilst i was out with said person:

I was out on the lash with mate of mine, who although can drink alot, doenst handle it very well. His misses was out with him, although swiftly left after a few hours due to his drunkness.

After another few hours we left the local club to see his misses across the road. Now he was proper plastered, so he ran across the road. A wee bit of plot here is that directly across from the club is some houses, (bad times for them with a nightclub beign about 15ft away), but my mate ran across the road, tripped up the curb and went head first into the front wall of one of the houses.

Now when i say it was a load bang when he hit it, you may get the idea when i say the bloke who lvied in the house was in bed and heard him hit his front wall, so came out side to check.

Basically he'd KO'ed himself in front of his (now ex) girlfriend, and me and another mate had to take him up the hospital. When there they pumped his stomach and kept him in overnight. The funnier part of this story for me was, aparently he awoke to see a nurse sitting in a chair at the end of his bed to make sure he was still alive, although when he woke up.......he thought it was some random bird, and he wa at home, so started crying because he thought he'd cheated on his misses.

In the end he was released, and his misses dumped him for being a massvie drunken fool.

Shame!