LaGoosh

Don't worry, some people think it's bad to hit women.I, on the other hand, am a large beleiver in equal rights. Annoying women should be punched just as hard as annoying men.

Zombie crisis ey..... well, I would round up the survivors, find some planes, and fly away. If that didn'twork, find some plane's and some nukes, and nuke the bastards.

That's a GREAT idea!Oh wait, no it isn't. Rounding up survivors would be a huge unnessecary risk, how often do you just "find" a plane, do you even know how to fly a plane, finding nukes(are you an eijit?) is ridiculous and you wouldn't even know what to do with them if you did.

Has anyone seen HOUSE OF THE DEAD? Zombies are fast runners in that one but they do seem much more stoppable than RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD zombies which are officially the deadliest zombies around.

Is that the movie where the zombies can talk and act just like normal humans?Because that film sucks balls.

And zombies don't starve. None of their major organs except the brain works. The eat, but the food they eat doesn't actually go into their system, they eat purely by instinct...eg. if you blew a whole through a zombies stomach so that he had no stomach left he would continue to eat, because the brain tells the zombie to eat and if the zombie isn't even digesting it then it wouldn't starve.

That is some repugnant shit.

How about you explain why instead of just saying one thing and making yourself look like a cock.

I think she was just quoting Pulp Fiction. :(It's scary to think none of us but Goosh know what to do if zombies did attack us.

Oh, I thought she was just saying I was talking shit. And I got pissed off because this thread is just a bit of fun and I didn't want it to be ended by some flame war crap.Anyways back on topic: Even though I know pretty much what to do, I'm pretty sure I'd eventually be killed anyway, if it got to a level 4 crisis...then I'd rather be dead.The thing is if the outbreak was just in Britian we would be quarrantined(like in 28 Days Later) and probably all major cities would be nuked.

And zombies don't starve. None of their major organs except the brain works. The eat, but the food they eat doesn't actually go into their system, they eat purely by instinct...eg. if you blew a whole through a zombies stomach so that he had no stomach left he would continue to eat, because the brain tells the zombie to eat and if the zombie isn't even digesting it then it wouldn't starve.

That is some repugnant shit.

How about you explain why instead of just saying one thing and making yourself look like a cock.

This is a classic topic Just to address a point raised earlier about the zombies travelling to the mainland by the Channel Tunnel: the French would probably set an army up at the other end and shoot anything that moves, which rules out the possibility of zombies or survivors getting through.Also, the possibility of using flight to escape is out of the question as any surviving pilots would have fucked off to Barbados or somewhere by now. I don' t think the chances of being able to sail anything big enough to cross the channel are very good.Personally, I would try to get to my car, using homemade, low-impact explosives made from spirits and fireworks and a baseball bat and large knife. If it wasn't possible to get ot my car as my house was surrounded by zombies who have smelt my flesh from miles around, I would take a ladder and scale the rooftops on my terrace until I got past the hoarde of zombies who were specifically after me until I could find a car that I could hotwire. I would drive that until i found a more suitable vehical, such as a Land Rover or cherry picker. I would search for a weapons shop, such as a martial arts shop or a hardware store. I would try anywhere where I think there might be survivors before gathering foods from a supermarket by charging through the shop front and scooping food into my vehical. I would then drive, slowly if necessary (to conserve fuel) to the hills, where I could chill out in my vehical until the zombies are all starved.The hospital idea isn't so good because it is probably one of the first places that would be overtaken by zombies. The morgue is the first obvious source of zombies, and then the immobilised patients would be easy pickings for the zombies. Unless you could clear the hospital of the zombies, it would be a deathtrap.

Your plan is good but has some problems.Firstly you have to know already how to hot-wire a car(you might, but I'm guessing that like most people you don't).Explosives might be good but there is no garantuee they will actually destroy the zombies brain. It might hit the ground, blow their legs off and then they will just continue to drag themselves towards you. And the sound will no doubt attract more of them.You search for a weapons or hardware store might hvae to lead you into a highly zombie populated area which'll make it very difficult to stop and pick up some things.And zombies don't starve. None of their major organs except the brain works. The eat, but the food they eat doesn't actually go into their system, they eat purely by instinct...eg. if you blew a whole through a zombies stomach so that he had no stomach left he would continue to eat, because the brain tells the zombie to eat and if the zombie isn't even digesting it then it wouldn't starve.The only hope for people waiting it out is to wait for decades for the zombie to completely rot and decompose so their is nothing left.

This thread should be pinned just so when then inevitable happens people can quickly read up on it before the power gets shut off and can form a survival plan.   

Why not put together an online survival guide (with printable version in PDF?) and link to it in your sig, with the demand that everyone bookmark it?

Or you cheapos could just buy the book instead.

Okay when there is a zombie crisis you and me meet up and find two zombies, I'll jam a crowbar into one of their eye sockets and through their brain....and you throw water at the other one.Well be Zombie Killer Tag Team Champions in no time.

Ok lets try a scenario here...were roll with gooshys warehouseIts 3 months after the epidemic, as far as you know theres no survivors aside you, a friend and his wifeThe rations in the the warehouse are running out (especially the water) but if you leave for the next warehouse you cant be certain the place would be secure from the zombie hoards outside (rougly 70 zombie)Weapons consist of bats with nails in them and fire on sticks (neither are good in groups), traveling by rooftop is hard, the next warehouse is nearly half a mile awaywhat do u do?

In this case there would be no safe option. Your only choice would be to grab the rations you have and get the hell out of there. Sure it would be a big risk leaving but you have no choice. It's either run and find another safe location or merely sit and wait to die in the warehouse. Make sure you travel by day, because zombies can easily find you in the night just aswell as the day while it would be harder for you to see them.It would be better to risk you life than wait to die.P.S. This thread should be pinned just so when then inevitable happens people can quickly read up on it before the power gets shut off and can form a survival plan.

The government know all about the zombie problem, according to the survival guide they have known about zombies for years but still have no official military plans for such a crisis. Although there has been zombie crises before but have been covered up by the government eg. mad cow disease.

In the survival guide there is details of plan for what to do when the whole world is overun and there is no chance of being saved by the government or army. It's long as hell so I won't detail it but it doesn't sound too much fun. You pretty much just have to live the life of an extreme survivalist, remain hidden from the world ad live in the harshest of territories.

Where did u get the guide Amazon says its out in september and if theres a zombie epidemic I'll be woefully under prepaired

Look closer my friend...September 1, 2003

In the survival guide there is details of plan for what to do when the whole world is overun and there is no chance of being saved by the government or army. It's long as hell so I won't detail it but it doesn't sound too much fun. You pretty much just have to live the life of an extreme survivalist, remain hidden from the world ad live in the harshest of territories.

but doors and such are usually wood, even at warehouses, plus when you break in to it (assuming you dont own the place) your gonna do some damage to the doorsplus other survivors might not be happy about sharing their hiding space with you (ala dawn of the dead with the angry bikers and the guys in the mall)

To open the doors I'd pry them open with a crowbar, then when inside I would grab every spare object and jame it up against the door so no motherfucker can get in.And if any survivors didn't want to share the space with me then I'd just force my way in their and if they had a problem I'd either kill them or throw them out. And if I blocked the doors up properly then I doubt any bikers would be able to get in anyway. Plus if they are going looting they will go to the obvious places like supermarkets rather than out of the way warehouses which they probably don't even know about.

Night of the living dead syndrome Mr gooshthe zombies could surround and claw their way in, warehouses are made of timber and rusty which wouldnt hold in an onslaught

Since when were warehouses made of timber?!And if you go in the warehouse and there aren't any zombies in the area and you keep quiet you'll be fine. Also in warehouses is alot of equipment and large crates, perfect for blocking doorways. And most warehouses have a fire escape ladder.There will also probably be atleast one vehicle nearby, which will be good for a short-term escape where you could then possibly flee into the woods.

Quite alot of people are saying they would go to a shop, airport, mates house or whatever, but i would just assume they are all crawling with zombies. I mean realisticly if the infection happend during the day would a shop/shopping centre be filled with infected customers? and what makes people so sure that their mates or whatever arent already zombies?In a situation like that surely the assumption that you are the only surviver will work. It may not be true, but trying to meet people or make contact unless its via phone or walkie talkie or even internet if electricity is still on, would only lead to more zombies.I'm sure LaGoosh can back me up on this one.

This man knows what he's talking about.Literally anywhere which is in a highly populated area is going to be infested with thousands of zombies. The best option is a warehouse. Alot of warehouses are out in the countryside, in a crisis they will most likely be abandoned. They are easily defendable and if it's a food warehouse it should keep you going awhile. And because it will be out in openground there are many possible escape routes.

Hmm...zombie invasion eh... Let me think if it happened during the day id be home alone no car no weapons...id just runan find some place to hide an hope for the best

No weapons at home?!Anything hard, strong, or sharp and easy to use is a weapon against a zombie.

stock up on weapons (chainsaws, bit cutting things etc).

The chainsaw is probably one of the worst possible weapons against a zombie. Sure they might look cool but think about it:Chainsaws are heavy - You could carry atleast 3 or 4 butcher knives, baseball bats or crowbars instead.They are slow - They are so heavy that killing one zombie wouldn't be too bad but surrounded by loads by the time you got to your 3rd zombie about 10 others are tearing a hole in your throat.They are loud - zombies can hear sounds from miles around and home in on it.They get stuck in the bodies - You jam chainsaw into a zombie, it might get stuck in their, while your trying to rip it out another is already munching on your elbow.And I don't get why people keep going on about gun stores, there are barely any about, guns aren't even that good weapons(except for long-range rifles) and the first thing any looters or gangs would go to is the gun store. And a gun store most probably in the centre of a busy area=zombie eating party.I swear, you guys will all be doomed.

why does every zombie movie end with a helicoptor and a zombie free island?

Because it's easier to do that than actually think of a realistic ending.

Which is everybody dying, I assume? What a cheerful finish.

To be honest I meant to write interesting instead of realistic.I just find the go off to an island ending boring.My favorite zombie movie endings are the end of both the original Night Of The Living Dead and remake. The first when the black guy gets shot in the head by the red necks(was he shot because they thought he was a zombie or because he was black...I always found that idea interesting) or the remake when the rednecks are having some sick game and even set up a food stand.

why does every zombie movie end with a helicoptor and a zombie free island?

Because it's easier to do that than actually think of a realistic ending.

After all this Im encourged to open my copy of reign of the dead againOk more zombie fun -How exactly do they prevent rigor mortis?Does cutting off an infected limb always work?How long does zombifcation take?My interest in the zombos is revived!

According to my survival guide:1. Rigor mortis does occur but because the body is still in motion or something it takes a hell of a lot longer to occur...anything up to 40 years. Even when rigor mortis'd the zombie will still attempt to bite you.2. Cutting off an infected limb only works if it's done no more than 5 seconds after. Anymore then you're screwed.3. Zombification takes from anything as long as 2 hours to a week depending on how bad the infection is.

id go to a very high building, make sure there is a lock on the door then let them in one at a time, then knock the fuckers off the building. PRETEND its a royal rumble death match.

How would you let one in at a time?It's hardly as if the motherfuckers are going to form a que.

If there were only 100 in a five mile radius, then you could use guns.

Yes but how many gunshops are there stocked with tons of Uzi's AK47s, pump-action shotguns, grenades and barrels of ammunition near you? I'm guessing none.And this ain't the movies, most people in reality are terrible shots with guns due to inexperience and there's no garantuee they will even know how to reload them. And remember, a head is a small target, try getting a head shot when surrounded by 10 or so zombies closing in on you when your scared out of your mind, your hands shaking uncontrollably from fear and then...shock horror...one of the zombies is your innocent little brother...you may think you'd shoot him with no thought to it, but in reality I doubt it.And Rob Gothic, zombies can't starve to death. None of their organs even work and that includes the stomach, only the brain is alive. That's why if you blew a whole through a zombies stomach it would still eat you. It doesn't eat because it's hungry, it's just pure instinct. ....See how easy it is to forget that zombies aren't real.

And the thing is with saying "only a 100 zombies in a 5 mile radius that would mean the zombies would be out numbered and the survivors could just shoot the shit out of them or beat the fuckout of them with your croebars or samurai swords" is that most people's first reaction would be to flee to the designated goverment safety places, most people would choose the run option than fight.

Surley you would find enough people to willing to deal with the zombie threat in that kind of a situation. I mean if I woke up in the morning and a there were about 100 zombies in a 5 mile radius and they have say, killed my little brother, or my girlfriend or somebody I cared about. I wouldnt be too interested in going to a 'government designated safety area', I would find a band of people who had lost loved ones and werent prepared to loose any more and go attack the fuckin bastards!

That may be the fact for you. But most people don't have the determination, nerves or bravery to fight off a large group of bloodthirsty zombies with only a crowbar or cricket bat. Most people will go by their instincts and run for their lives rather than risk their own lives and the lives of their families and fight off the zombies themselves.

Actually myself and a friend of mine spent a whole weekend working out what we would do in a zombie situation. Even depending on the day. Baiscly there is an an old empty hopital near us with lots of open groudn around it. The plan basicly involves us getting our swords (we both own samurai swords) and getting out families etc to the hospital and locking ourselfs in. The roof has easy acess and we would be able to see them coming from a major distance.Basicly we would stay there and try not to venture into the towns. It's fun when you do formulate a plan like that, because it's actually harder than you may imagine.

What would you do for food and water? Onec you get to the hospital and regroup your thoughts, what next?

My girlfriend works in the 'New' parts of the hospital, there is plenty of food supplies to keep us going, plus beds and TV's/Radios. Hence we chose the hospital. So if there ever is a zombie crisis, you'll find myself at Milford Hospital.

No I mean, what would you do in order to survive? Once the food and water have run out you'd be pretty fucked!I'm not getting thick with people and trying to find flaws in everything but everybodies plans seem to be real short term. Like, getting to a safe place is clearly the main priority. But what comes after that?Ok a plan like this might be ok for a Level 1 or Level 2 crisis, but if there were only a 100 zombies in a 5 mile radius that would mean the zombies would be out numbered and the survivors could just shoot the shit out of them or beat the fuckout of them with your croebars or samurai swords!What about a Level 4 crisis. What does your book tell you to do in the event that you wake up one morning and find that there is a Level 5 crisis in progress! What do you do then?

If there is a level 4 crisis you are pretty much screwed. Extremely slim chances of survival, no government left, the only way you could survive is if you set up your own fortress in the middle of the desert or something.And the thing is with saying "only a 100 zombies in a 5 mile radius that would mean the zombies would be out numbered and the survivors could just shoot the shit out of them or beat the fuckout of them with your croebars or samurai swords" is that most people's first reaction would be to flee to the designated goverment safety places, most people would choose the run option than fight.

Fair enough, but what about the rest of my post. What would you actually do to survive? hiding upstairs under your bed isnt going to make the situation any better!

Yeah my plan is only a short-term plan. For say a level 1 or 2 crisis(read the book, but it is about 100 zombies in a 5 mile radius. thats my plan. Level 3 is about 1000 in a 5 mile radius and Level 4 is about 10,000 in a 5 mile radius(which is pretty much apocolypse).But to answer your questions:If I demolish the stairs I will simply just climb back up there(easy enough), zombies have no climbing skills.For electricity and water to work, there needs to be workers in the factories making sure they are working and doing the nessecary procedures that keep them running. Running water and electricity don't just work by magic. If there is a nationwide crisis, you can be pretty sure that they will be the first to go.For a long-term plan, I would escape to the countryside, find a remote location with plenty of escape routes, stealing whatever I can on the way, collecting a small group, no more than 5 or 6 and then do our best to survive in the countryside, by killing animals, growing food(people have done it for centuries with little to no resources) and setting up what is essentially a fortress. Possible choices being an abandoned prison or boarding school out in the countryside.