CavemanLynn

Been about 4 years since I last read a cena punches post on here

Still an issue that stops me getting behind him.

 

I'm getting better though. I post about more current stuff sometimes, like NXT and Lucha. And I've stopped throwing rocks at your 'horseless carriages.'

For a guy who's all about fitness, Cena just doesn't move like an athlete. His stupid floppy-armed shadow-boxing. His rigid doddery top-rope legdrop. His awful whirly upright headlock takedowns. And I can't watch him run down the ramp without seeing his feet flopping out to the sides. He's just a mess. Austin might've been a physical wreck but at least he knew how to move (I.e. like a fucking tank). At Cena's age and experience, he should be doing less for more of a reaction, not murdering himself with indy crap that he doesn't even seem to understand let alone pull off with any control or panache. Stick to the AA, the STF, and for fuck's sake, have a word backstage with Arn Anderson about your punches.

Blagneto?

Can someone have words with the Divas about their kicks? They all do that front-heel-kick and step back that looks clumsy and off-balance. It's like they've been trained watching WWE game sprites resetting back to their standing animation.

 

The fact the ref botched the count was bad. The fact they left it in on a prerecorded show is worse. Just redo and dub. Then again, the Full Sail would probably start chanting "we just saw this!" or "don't fuck up!".

 

 

Whole show was dead.

Or any kind of low shot or leg grab attempt. It'd be forgivable if the ducker went for anything like that before they dropped in the International, but noone seems smart enough to do that. Like someone said earlier, it's practically just a calisthenics drill. Just a thing wrestlers do.

The International. I can accept the most belief-defying move but this most basic of sequences makes me throw up in my mouth a little. If someone drops down in front of me, I kick them...

I'm sure Scott Steiner went through a phase of this when up against cruisers. Drop down? Stomp in the kidneys for your trouble, puke. Love that guy.

 

The worst part of the International is the leap. There's probably a dozen wrestling myths about the so-called inventor of the sequence being legit able to leap 8ft in the air, but if the opponent has to duck to get under you, just don't bother.

In-ring they're a classic odd couple combo - speedy guy, power guy. Outside, same again - mouthpiece and muscle. It doesn't matter if they lose, because their shtick is so over. On NXT, they've made it clear Zo is the weaker of the two, so if they lose, it's more about the heels picking on the little guy. Behind the scenes, I'm a huge Enzo supporter because he took a chance sending a promo vid to HHH having trained with Joe DiFranco, but worked and got beat up a lot to earn his spot. In and out of the ring, he's a real underdog, and he's helped Cass so much to come out of his shell so he's more than just a tall lump. They come over as genuinely great mates, with loads of genuine energy and really solid tag work. As for the spiel, what's not to get? Enzo fancies himself as a big shot, Cass is seven feet tall, and everyone they don't like is SAWFT (which is soft with an accent, dontchano). I can relate to their geekiness much more than Jason Jordan (who the bods REALLY wish could get over) or the fxxxing Hype Bros. Good luck to the lads!

I actually rate Elementary above Sherlock. Yes, it's a more straightforward police procedural, but Jonny Miller's Sherlock is a spiky masterpiece. Lucy Liu as Watson is pretty bland, but that might just be her face.

She can stay out of the ring as long as she likes. Her expressions and personality are top-notch outside the ring so why not stick with that? She can get in people's faces, piss off opponents, but scarper off when it kicks off to let bruisers Blake and Murphy deal with it. The moonsault to beaten opponents she was doing was the best way to use her in-ring - keeps her looking cheap and smug, while subtly getting the move over if she does start competing solo.

 

And that skeleton hand bling she has is awesome. I want a man one.

I got tickets for Smackdown at the O2 for £25 each so I won't be going north of that price. It's true that you don't really know who's going to be on the roster by then.

 

Owens' Sami pisstake was brilliant.

 

What was it? I missed that part.

When the crowd started the Ole! Ole ole oleee! chant, Owens did Sami's entrance armswing, but made like he'd popped his shoulder. Ha ha ha.

NXT pulls out another blinder (not a Finn fan reference).

 

Opener was great fun. Liger was clearly having a whale of a time and Breeze was the perfect prissy foil. Bit surprised at the result, but in a match to pop the crowd and set the tone, it worked and gives Tyler even more ammo for TV. Fuck y'all, Liger's music was boss.

 

B&M are probably the best tag team in NXT. They don't have the quotability or gimmick look of many of the other obviously-themed teams, but they are absolutely rock-solid. Everything about them is annoying as fuck, but in the good 'just stop, you pricks' way, from the headache-inducing entrance, to their shitty head-bobbing dancing, to their super-smug facials and, yes, the fact that the hottest girl on the roster wants to hang out with them. Loved the Iron Man style attire, and top marks to whichever saint oversaw the cut of Alexa's trunks. Excellent work. Blue Pants was a good surprise, and took the edge off the lack of Enzo and Cass in this position.

 

Joe seems much more comfortable and over in a big crowd setting. After the opening lockups I was worried WWE might have done their booking mistake of thinking people want to see monsters avoiding clashing a la Goldberg-Lesnar and Henry-Ryback, but the match really opened up in the second half. Both looked tough as boots and Corbin actually had a good showing. I quite like the idea of Joe as mentor to Baron, wrecking machine to wrecking machine, anything because I find the idea of a 6'8" Muscle Buster terrifying.

 

Obligatory best-Womens-match-ever post. Sasha comes back from the main roster even better than before, and The Four Horsewomen, although a clumsy name, is a real head-slapping why-the-fuck-didn't-they moment. The only negative thing I'd say about the NXT Women's matches is that they tend to fall apart a bit when they try to bring the 'innovative' high spots (Sasha' top rope knees was pretty feeble after the build) but the story and character work (Bayley's hand) are absolutely incredible, totally believable and more engaging than the movez. I've slammed my hand in a door, I know how much that hurts; I've never been flipped backwards onto my head from 8ft, I get that it's dangerous but I don't know how it feels. But yeah, great lineup visual at the end.

 

Balor continues to be a competent athlete with a flash entrance, but WHAT AN ENTRANCE. Great twist on the please-stand-up doppelganger trick. Character and story was carried by Owens, and I loved that the big spots were ladder variations on the guys' usual, rather than making shit up for the occasion. Kinda disappointed that Balor didn't try a combined footstomp-belt grab attempt as he was so close. Owens' Sami pisstake was brilliant.

 

Time to get in the queue for London in December, methinks.

WWE needs more hokiness. It's mad that WWE aims at a young audience but nearly all of its characters could be grouped into the "legitimate athlete who smiles/frowns" split, but Lucha Underground, aimed at older crowds, was throwing zombies, ninjas, Sith lords and dragons around. Totally arse about face. Balor is custom-made for action figures, but every hero needs conflict both external to overcome and internal to engage emotionally. However, and I don't know what the crossover audience really is between NXT and Raw, I'd rather they held off the heel side til he's established on the main roster, so the reveal itself has a bigger stage. But then, NXT is for development, so I'll be overthinking things.

This FF just made me appreciate the original films more for what they were - decent Saturday afternoon throwaway telly. I actually think they did the Fantastic Four a good service (although Doom was pretty ropey), and mentions of the MCU in this thread have made me kind of wish they could shoehorn Gruffudd, Alba et al into the MCU just for the crack of watching them recast the Torch.

 

The new FF is just there, which is more frustrating when you hear the hints in the dialogue of something that could have been more fun.

That scenario would have introduced him and defined Finn as distinct from the Demon. NXT is where to experiment, iron out and establish new gimmicks in front of a savvy but supportive crowd where Finn can get comfortable being himself. I actually think when to a main roster debut it should be done the other way, a mystery tag partner deal with an established face promoing about having a dark ally to take on a heel monster team. Then avoid showing normal everyday Finn - stick with creepy vignettes hinting at a creature lurking in shadows in arenas. There's been plenty of demonic possession horror films over the past few years to cadge ideas from. Then once the Demon is established, faze in Finn the human, by which time he should be able to carry himself as himself a bit better.

 

As another note on the Demon persona, it'd be quite cool if he ended up with a roster of different Demons to call on, with certain different traits and even signature moves. Different base colours and entrance attire. Whole toy sets just of Finn Balor seems like money to me.

Agreed, an excellent wrestler, one of the best I've seen live. I must say, I was astounded by how much presence and charisma he had in a live setting. Confidence just shy of arrogance, but this was back in the Bullet Club days.

What do you think he needs to do to connect more?

Personally, I think they missed a trick with Baylor, especially him in that series of vignettes about him. He's clearly a bit soft-spoken and geeky, so they should have played that up from the off instead of being a kick throwing hardcase like Itami and however many other 'serious' wrestlers. He needed to get his arse kicked more, squeaking victories with quick bursts of offence when he's all but dead, scratching his way up the ladder on sheer will rather than 'taking his opponent to the limit'. Then at the big match, after numerous TV taping kickings, he lets on about having to go to his 'dark place', and at the PPV, Demon Balor debuts, where he straight-up murders his opponent with the offence we know he can do. TV taping after the win, he's back to being meek lil Finn, thanking everyone and his PPV opponent, whilst warning everyone he doesn't want to go the dark again.

 

I've said this over and over again, I know. He'll get over as is and make a shitload of merch money (that action figure mockup in the Toys thread was mega) , but it still seems like a creative misstep what they've done with him, or at least a missed opportunity.

Grey-haired Taker would look fantastic. Proper Methuselah first-vampire stuff.

Hall mentions this as well in his podcast with Zbyszko analysing Hogan vs Warrior. He questions why Hogan would sleep, avoiding contact, when he's a brick shithouse. Then Hogan pops up and lamps a careening Warrior with a clothesline, so at least he concedes it's a setup.

God, I'm so old.

I know, right!?

 

Seriously, though, I know we all know it's pretend, but I miss the days when it wasn't made so bloody obvious.

 

Nostalgia. It's not what it used to be.

The Balor vignette was going great until they basically had him say "yeah, it's just paint that makes me feel good." So it's no otherworldly creature or dark side of himself. He's just a rassler who looks different. After all the good work of the first two parts, I think they wrecked a ton of interesting and fun angles, and cut a load of potential for character depth they'd built up over two weeks. And although it was fascinating seeing how much they help guys develop in NXT, it was one more peek behind the curtain that spoils the illusion for me. Now I won't be able to watch Balor's entrance without imagining HHH telling him what to do. Shame.

Is this not just an elaborate rebranding turned into an angle? You've essentially got Jeff rehashing the NWO with the invasion from within idea, a new marginally-better brand name, championship belts being repainted, etc. Surely in 6 months, they'll fabricate a War Games Lockdown match for "control of the company" which GFW will win, making the rebrand official.

The smugness does seem to have become more pronounced over the years, but I suppose when a character has been around as long as he has, things are bound to swing with changing times. I like the difference between the confidence of Superman, when he can be himself, and the nervousness of Clark Kent, which I always saw as brought on by having to tiptoe around us to avoid smashing us to pieces by accident rather than a conscious pretense. He doesn't have the now-classic dark side that so many superheroes get saddled with, but I still find the idea of Superman really cool. Batman's cooler, but I wouldn't want to be him.

The point about Superman is that he can't swoop in and sort everything out because he can't be everywhere at once. That's why he is the example to be followed rather than a messiah. Superman can save everyone but he has to choose to deal with the greatest threats. You can't rely on him to bail you out, so you have to become the hero and fight to save your fellow man, doing what he would do if he was there. The sinking ship scene in Superman Returns sums it up best. They fight and fight to survive as long as they can, until fate fucks them over, but then and only then does Superman arrive, when hope is lost. I think today's generation would interpret that as Superman being a dick, or more likely ask why he doesn't just become our overlord with all those powers, but I think that (much like Snyder's mopey selfish iteration) reflects the reader's attitudes, and, ironically, why Superman is better than you.

 

Yeah. Fan, over here.

That promo turned Owens full-on face, in my eyes. I'm not sure what the intention was. To have a man's son not see how hard his father is working because of something he's on TV blinding him to it is pretty heart-breaking. And referencing the cancer girl once was like bringing up Hitler in a flame war - no one's looking good following that up. I know some have suggested this family business with Owens is a front, but, um, yeah. Odd.