CavemanLynn

Bo Rhap and going neon have made this suddenly look pretty good. Courtney channeling Bronson looks great fun, and Harley bending over is getting giffed. Loads of rumours swirling about the big bad and handsome bastard Scott Eastwood's role, too.

The timing of this is sensational.

That's fabulous. Can you imagine if that happened today? They'd probably shrug it off and smirk, trying to "be cool" instead of marking out like a human being.

Nerdz.

Good lord, this thread is heart achingly marvellous for reminding me how much cooler and more fun the Hasbros were compared to today's lanky-legged bundles of joints. [insert my biannual WWE-video-game-should-be-Power-Stone-with-Hasbros post]

 

Random thoughts:

 

First one was Rick Rude. I'd never seen a wrestling match before, but that didn't stop me getting hooked on stickers and making my own ghost-booked magazines. Rude was a pretty crap headlock mold (half the fun was trying to suss what you could get each mold to do. Y'know, imagination.) but I was determined to come away from Argosy Toys with SOMETHING.

 

Thought I only had a couple, but thinking back, I must've had loads. Press and Suplex Hogans, Sarge, jumping Savage and Macho King (always looked odd because his wrist tape wasn't painted), jumping Warrior (because I traded my press Warrior, like a twat), Valentine, Tornado, Koko, clothesline and headslap Bossmen, Nasties, Rockers, Bushwhackers (because Woolies were out of LOD), Jake, black tux Dibiase, Steamboat and the Disasters.

 

Entered a competition to get a free Undertaker. Didn't win. Gutted 8-year-old me.

Just seen this. Still not convinced about Apocalypse, and it looks like there's a helluva lot of new mutants to introduce. DOFP at least traded on the existing universe so it didn't really matter how huge the cast was. This one looks a bit too busy right now. Top marks to McAvoy though. Everyone bigs up the Fassbendery goodness, but I think James has been the real star of these prequels. His Professor X is clearly TERRIFIED of the new world, which has given the character a whole new dimension. That final shot isn't just a fanboy markout moment - it's an emotional payoff to the trilogy and, right now at least, the thing that's going to part me with my money.

Indeed. Peyton Royce was surprise of the week. The flower gimmick is a good one, and I hope the idea gets played up in her attire as the weeks go on, a touch of Poison Ivy from Batman, and the prop gives her something to focus on during her entrance. The spin kick was actually on point, that choke was AWESOME, and I was trying to recall what else she'd done of note and twigged it was her climbing through the ropes. Good things.

 

Only alarm I've got is that there seems to be a common theme of struggling to get faces over, with trainees only coming out of their shell as heels.

James Storm looked marvellous, like HBK if he was still cool. Loved the hiptoss. Too often, guys hook elbows and the victim leaps right up in the air for a crisp replay-baiting flip bump. Nice to see someone just get twung across the ring like a sack of spuds.

BvS will be two hours of emotional staring, Eisenberg overcompensating massively, fifteen minutes of two sprites having a punch up, followed by half an hour of two sprites punching a bigger sprite.

 

There's less predictability about Civil War at the mo. With JL already planned, we know none of the trinity are carking it, and they've already laid out the plot before the inevitable conclusion. The only surprise will be if the big reveal is actually early in the film, which means it'll be exhausting. And would they please show us something of WW other than Gadot standing there looking like Gadot!? Smacks of Snyder Suckerpunch wankery. Give me a reason to care. And Doomsday looks like a leftover troll from LOTR.

 

No one dies in Marvel, and Evans has two more bookings in his deal after Cap 3, but it still feels like anything can happen. They've had a ten-movie headstart to build goodwill for these versions of the characters; although historically Supes and Batman have been around and at odds for longer (I think?), these versions are pretty raw. At the moment, there's more to get my teeth into in Civil War.

 

12-year-old me would probably blow his load at BvS though.

Didn't TNA actually try that with Roxxi/ Nikki Roxx, bleeping every other word of her prerecorded promos?

Eva Marie looks great from the front, but there's nothing going on in the back, between the ears, or on the face.

Your reaction to the trailer depends on how you feel about the studios' track records. Me, I thought Man of Steel was over-produced garbage, sub-Bayhem VFX destruction porn tacked onto the end of a mopey disinterested cast battling against a hollow story. I've not seen anything of BvS that tells me it'll be anything less than the same, but with more popular characters and more slowed-down looks into the middle distance and the occasional angry face. Although Marvel is still guilty of dropping increasingly large pixels out of the sky, I much prefer their slant towards on-camera stunt work and character interaction. That 12-foot dropkick and chopper grab were awesome, carried by the senses of actual effort and pain required. And fxxx me, that final shot of Bucky and Cap versus Stark, after RDJ drops a feels bomb. Great choreography, great selling, and asks all the right questions.

 

Yeah, I'm pretty hyped for it.

Solomon had something to him, but they just didn't stick with anything. Called him Crowe and had him hashtagging #cawcaw on Twitter, did nothing with it. Debuted with hacker gimmick, did nothing with it. Started calling him NXT's Little Monster, did nothing with it. To be honest, it looks like they saw him as gimmick jobber a la Mikey Whipwreck, and he obviously had other ideas. I thought his trainee promo was pretty guff, but I liked his rope-assisted headbutt. Cool in an 80s-finish sort of way. Good luck to him.

That whole short skit was good - Bliss being scared away from champion Bayley by monster Nia Jax who's been seen conspiring with Eva Marie. No promos or dialogue, but a whole bunch of feuds and relationships set up in a minute.

 

Hype Bros were surprisingly tolerable. It helps when the crowd is into their shtick.

Surely that's the road schedule combined with the athletic style? Back in the day, it was roids, cocaine, Denny's buffets and punching matches. Today it's protein shakes, no sleep, constant driving and 20-minute spotfests 4 times a week. Some guys seem to have adapted, like Barrett who really ripped down, but it doesn't surprise me bodies are on the wane.

 

There's probably not as many as there seems to be, but a lot of the upper guys are in jeans or long pants with vests. Sod it, have Ambrose lose to Harper in a Jeans vs Jeans match so he has to go back to his Stone Cold indie gear. The fangirls'll love it and he'll look proper mental.

"Last week... I had a match... for the something-something championship... And someone-someone... did shenanigans that officially continued this feud."

 

Or

 

"This Sunday... I face... someone-someone. .. for the something-something championship... in a something-something match... at PPV name."

 

That's how every promo starts. Every wrestler. Every week.

 

It's not just Bray or Cena. It's nearly every sod in that ring, or at least that's how it feels. Not even Seth, the champ and therefore a guy you'd expect to be trusted with a bit of input into his material, trots it out. It's like the current crop have been groomed to be mechanics rather than stars. It's depressing watching Seth pulling out high risk every match when it's not going to put him in a better position in a year's time, because there's no solid story basis or character hook for any of it. He's clearly trying to carve out a reputation amid this dross, but it feels like he's being thrown into half-arsed storylines and expected to churn out greatness. This current Demon Kane stuff is comedy fluff that belongs in midcard. Audiences are being expected to laugh at the heel champion instead of see him as an obstacle for the Next Big Face to overcome. No one's going to be made by beating Seth.

The only US Open Challenge of any worth was Kevin Owens. The rest are there with Edge and HHH letting TAKA and Funaki get a few nearfalls against them. A charming footnote but ultimately irrelevant.

Cena, being the PR face of the company, just embodies the issues affecting everyone at the moment. Someone a few days ago highlighted that Cena's "Never Give Up" character (if that's what it is) means that he's never affected or changed by his feuds. I can't remember the last time a WWE star's actions in a feud, or even in a match, were influenced by the events of their previous feud. Taking Cena as a direct example, his feud vs Wyatt was all about unearthing a dark side in Cena. But what happened? There was a scary choir, a kid with a warped voice, and he fought the urge to lamp Bray with a chair once or twice, but then he won and moved on, carried on being Cena. Imagine how much more interesting it would've been if Cena had succumbed for a moment, chairshotted Bray and got DQed. Now he feels remorse and shame and has to redeem himself, while Bray can gloat about causing Cena's fall. You've got the potentisal for heels baiting Cena, bullying him, daring him to chairshot them too. The journey to redemption would be a much more valuable and important story to teach to his young fans than his win-always unaffected-jock permanence. It would help if the commentators got in on things. They don't put stories over, they don't call spots. What are they there for?

Chuffed to see Storm on the show. It's fascinating how guys made to seem like also-rans elsewhere look like mega stars on that stage. Awesome reaction from the crowd, obviously, and Storm clearly loved soaking it up, as well as looked like a utter badass. Looks like he should be a hardboiled brawler, which made his finisher incongruous, but all in all, an awesome moment.

 

NXT makes me realise I don't want to watch a live show on TV, which is why RAW is such a flop. The pacing, vignettes and builds are totally different to the main show, for the better. Asuka's intro and build have been as close to 'real sports build' as you can get, spreading probably 15 minutes of TV time over 6 weeks. That's why the writing problems on RAW are so baffling - they should be struggling to cram stuff in for the roster they have.

RAW's hamstrung by the fact it's live. Skits and interviews are great ideas, but they both require some kind of prerecording, which would be better for home viewers but not so great for the live crowd they've got to cater to at the same time. In a three hour show, I'd love a couple of 15 minute videos, hyping matches or getting characters over, but that means you've got to trust the live crowd not to start bitching. So I think we're stuck with awkward dialogue in generic corridors with lots of dead air for crowd reactions that the performers probably aren't getting. Especially with the move tennis style at the moment, we don't seem to get much storyline within matches (just join-the-dots bouts with maybe a telling finish or post-match) and the commentators aren't much good at spotting story points (see the recent Paige turn that you know someone like The Brain or Ventura would've picked up on). Unless there's a big shift in format, I think we're stuck as is.

The difference in personality and charisma onscreen between Dana and Emma is staggering. You'd think Dana was the pro bringing up the relative newcomer. I even think Dana copes better with botches than most of the girls - she at least looks like she keeps her cool. Problem is, her great character only makes her typically-sloppy limp striking look even worse by comparison. Once she stops tripping over her own feet doing toekicks and bellowing over her halfspeed axhandles, I agree she could be hotshotted into the title picture, no worries.

 

Christ, Tyler was bumping like Perfect for Tiny Tommasso. Out of Team ROH, Gargano's offence makes more sense for his size. Breeze looked like a hoss next to Ciampa which made selling his skinny-limbed strikes look pretty silly. Hopefully the guys watch these matches back and get a better idea of their actual size and learn to work that way. Nice to see the Unprettier back. Breeze has needed some high-impact offence for a while, and the move makes perfect sense.

 

Two looks to camera, and Asuka is over with me. That's how it's done, RAW.

Trish and Lita before heading out to the premiere of Trish's movie 'Gridlocked'. Trish looks so much hotter now than she ever did in the fed

Now... KISS!

 

Thought they were going with some kind of dodgy referee angle with the stopped count, if this was the attitude era Eva would have been giving sexual favours. Turns out they just botched the camera angle.

 

Given Eva's inset promo, I think the angle is, at the very least, that the ref is crushing on her and didn't want to count her out last week. Her demeanour screamed "Do my homework Help me out and I'll let you think you can screw me."

They should go a step further and have the refs actively looking to avoid counting the falls - slow counts, taking ages getting into position, loads of that Hebner style testing the shoulders are on the mat, looking up repeatedly to see if her foot's on the rope - so it looks like she's being protected. Full Sail see her as a project of the management, so why not make out she's the Authority's Chosen Diva? If anything, it's a shame the foot on the rope was a correct call.

I have absolutely zero sources to hand, but I'm sure I heard Ruffalo was trying to get a new Columbo together. I'd be all over that. "Just one more question..."

Jimmy fucking Uso on commentary? They'll give anyone the headset. Although I might now start answering any question with "I have no response! This is exciting! NXT, let's go, baby!" Christ.

 

I'm starting to get into Samoa Joe. His Full Sail showings have been fairly bland but the guy seems to be playing the smart game: keep it solid and don't cock up the little matches, then let loose on the big stage. So happy to see talking to the camera on the way to the ring making a comeback outside of Cena. Say what you will about his look, but his expression comes across as utterly legit that he wants to fight. Even his music was on point - that roar was timed perfectly in the ring.

 

Shades of Bullet Club Devitt in Finn Balor's entrance?

 

I still think there's too much going on with Dana. She's clearly confident in front of a crowd, but like a lot of people have said, this 'Total Diva' gimmick doesn't really give her a single strong point. Early days, but it's easier to teach a good actor to wrestle than vice versa. She needs to ditch the skater shoes. And she has a sexually-confusing late Leslie Ash face.

 

Did Billie Kay and Peyton Royce (yek! Duffer of a name) do EXACTLY the same entrance? I'm all for getting talent comfortable in front of the camera, but aside from being told one's Australian and another does slooooow spin kicks, there was absolutely nothing to them.

 

Bayley vignette made her look great and really showed what they can do with her, PR-wise. Really pleased for her. She's a great example of how they develop people down there organically.

 

Bit disappointed with the Dusty tags so far, but I kinda feel a true Dusty tribute would have a vet making a rookie against two utter bastards, but you can't do that every match, I suppose. Team ROH looked REALLY little. Bull and Breeze as a duo could have really had legs. "Bull. Is. Gor. Geous."

 

If Kana does the neon geisha thing from her promo photo, that's fine by me.

 

A solid show. Hopefully a slow start to building the next lot of talent.

I use the phrase "stealing their gimmick" whenever anyone copies someone.

 

Also there's a corridor at work narrowed by a shelf of stock. I turn my torso sideways so I can keep walking but let someone coming the other way past. Caught myself dropping into a Bad Guy strut once they're by.