Gus Mears

No one is saying fry your beans with the essentials, that would be insane. It's that all the good stuff is fried - bacon, sausage, black pudding, egg and bread if I'm not bothered about having a heart attack by 50.

The clue is in the name; 'fry up'. Not 'oven up' or 'microwave up' or, God forbid, 'air fry up'.

Red Sox swept at home by the Pirates, which is even worse than I could have anticipated.

Hall of Fame Connections is, indeed, fucking shit. Might be livable if there was more than just Yogi Berra, Casey Stengel, Babe Ruth and New York meeting the King of England. More like Yankess Connect amIright?

God, they look like those Linda McCartney vegetarian sausages which are (like everything else in her food range) utterly disgusting.

I reckon she was a sleeper agent for carnivorism, it's the only explanation for how bad her food was.

9 hours ago, FelatioLips said:

You highly underestimate just how bored I am.

I've come to a conclusion after extensive research into both the Butlins Breakfast menus and the photographic evidence provided across multiple channels.

Firstly I present Exhibit A: Waters44's Breakfast -

My first and most prominent theory was that it was the underside of a fried egg but looking at the bacon and the scrambled eggs, it's plain to see that absolutely nothing on this plate would ever be cooked well enough to brown that much. So then I got thinking, it's all you can eat and you already doubled up on everything else including eggs, so what harm would a third egg option do?
That got me thinking it was maybe a omelette until I saw no such option exists on the Butlins breakfast menus as part of the breakfast buffet so that was also ruled out. The mystery remains.

That brings me to Exhibit B. Someone else's Butlin's Breakfast-

I know you claimed you had no Hash Brown, but look at the circled areas. The triangular shape could not be anything else. They clearly match up with your mystery food. One thing that threw me a little was how well cooked this hash brown was compared to the light colour of your item, but then look at everything else. Sausages are darker, mushrooms are darker. This is simply a slightly more cooked breakfast.

My theory that I present to the board is that you did in fact have a hash brown on your breakfast, but in posting you forgot you had one and were too embarrassed to go back and correct yourself because you had already marked the breakfast down for the fact.

Waters had a hash brown and he's fibbing to us and I won't stand for it any longer.

 

Detective Inspector FelatioLips (yeah, that doesn't work) with fine work. Wish ITV would make a procedural crime drama about breakfasts for a change.

5 hours ago, Big'Olympic_Hero'Pete said:

Looks like fried bread.

Don't you mean brown bread?

"Hello, my name is McNoham and I come from some place far away..."

Incredible comeback last night after Sale shit the bed. This team is going to be a rollercoaster by the look of things.

I find this whole tale of yours odd, Bacon. It's arguably the third most recognisable part of a chippy tea. Are you going to the fish and chip shops blindfolded or something?

34 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

We need some sort of definitive map. 

Based on the last page or so.

Wiltshire - good chippies.

Hampshire - shite chippies.

North - good chippies.

Don't lump us all in with Bacon's shite chippies. Don't think I've ever been to a Wiltshire chippy which doesn't have mushy peas, most have curry sauce and all.

The Aldi fake chicken burger are a weekday staple here. Couple of them in some baps with salad, majestic.

Yeah, it's like a cross between that and Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid.

Lad on the left here is the squarest human I've ever seen.

Replaying Returnal. One of my favourites ever, a brilliant playing experience and a plot as rich as a good novel. 

Fun game. Great manager though he is, atrocious in game management by Cora. Brasier and Ort are the two worst players in that bullpen, so no idea why you go to them when the game is still winnable, especially with a rest day tomorrow. Oh well, bats looked good.

100% agreed. Whoever thought replacing Bartolo Colon's home run with that shite needs firing.

Baseball dip! Merlin would like some.

Former umpire Joe West was one of the most pro wrestling figures to never do anything in pro wrestling. I listen to his podcast sometimes which sounds exactly like a shoot DVD with wildly exaggerated stories + brilliant ad reads for boner pills which always make me laugh considering he looks and sounds like Jim Ross.

One of the great moments in the history of our great game:

Mrs Mears and I are in for the night watching all the opening day action and we're doing some BASEBALL SNACKS in the form of buffalo chicken dip, burgers and then peanuts and jerky to graze on in the later evening.  Plan is Yankess vs Giants at 6, Sox vs Orioles at 7 assuming it isn't rained out, Mets vs Marlins at 9 (Mad Max vs Alcantara is a choice match up) and then see where we get to after as 10PM is my bed time.

1 minute ago, Fatty Facesitter said:

Alan Pacino sounds like the sort of moniker someone would coin to do a tribute act. "As Seen on TV! Coming to the King's Lynn Corn Exchange Theatre this summer! The nation's favourite tribute act!"

Preferably in a Yorkshire accent. "Say 'ello to me little friend'.

TIL that Al Pacino's first name is Alan.

I think the Mariners have a better than expected shot of winning the division. Know the Astros are reigning champions, but after losing Verlander, I don't think you need much more than some guys on the Mariners (Gilbert, Kelenic, JRod) to take a step forward and a few on the Astros to take an equivalent step back and it's right up in the air.

One of my favourite memories of death threads past was when astronaut/US Senator John Glenn died at 95 and someone put in complete sincerity 'good age for an astronaut', like it would have been a well shit age to go without that caveat.

Like Lion, my apprehension is that they'll move it somewhere shite. I'm less worried about China and more about Llandudno or the Brentwood Sports Centre based on recent WST moves.

1 minute ago, Loki said:

 I once saw one at an airport where they'd managed to spray faeces all the way up the walls to eye level.  I mean, even with explosive shit they would have had to have been in a handstand or something.

Clearly should have shoved his hand up his arse and got it out that way instead.