ReturnOfTheMack

1 hour ago, Arch Stanton said:

@ReturnOfTheMack that Inner Circle song is just the perfect punchline to that anecdote. That absolutely creased me up. 

Mate, it's the closest I have come to laughing at graveside.

OK then. I'll share a few more from my time. 

I was due to officiate a funeral. It was a 2pm on a Thursday during term time.

I got to graveside at 1.30pm to check everything was ready. A few minutes later 2 girls, probably about 8 and 10 years old, wander to a grave 2 down from where the burial was to be.

I thought it was a bit odd, the girls should have been in school. Though it was a rough area.

Anyway. The older of the girls said to the other 'this is it, this one's grandads grave', and they started to clean the stone.

After a few more minutes the older one again spoke 'why don't we sing grandads song while we work?'

The younger one agreed, very enthusiastically, and simultaneously, complete with accents, they started to sing

'Girl I'm gonna make you sweat. Sweat till ya can't sweat no more. And if you cry, I'm gonna push it  push it some more'

I was once doing an ash burial where the family brought the ashes loose in a tesco carrier bag. While I was putting them in the hole a voice behind me said 'well it's what he would have wanted. Reunited with his penis.'

Seems he had it amputated years before, cremated it and the ash was buried in the plot years before. Apparently the guy had a catheter, and when he got drunk enough he liked to 'show people his flaps'

As for funeral services, the song I tend to hear the most, other than hymns/choral music is Simply The Best.

4 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

Yorkshire tea has gone woke, lads. Country’s finished. 

When I did my work experience in the 90s I went to a bakery (it was near my nans, so I got treated like a king for a fortnight, its why I chose it over anything I was actually interested in) and the owner had about 6 or 7 cups of tea with honey each shift.

The great Georgina Hale. She will always be the amazing T-Bag to me, one of my favourite childhood heels.

https://metro.co.uk/2024/01/10/emmerdale-hollyoaks-star-dies-aged-80-20096181/?ito=facebook|social|metroukfacebook&fbclid=IwAR3U5PfOulVRfUrDjcpHxT9ukSu-Cvp21Tu2vOvJ6NEhD-c8SG4h4zZACfY

Brewdog did do a corker with Tactical Nuclear Penguin. But otherwise I'm not fussed and dont bother.

Northern Monk and Tiny Rebel are both far better.

Echo was better than Secret Wars.

That's about the best thing I can say.

My current job (manager of multiple graveyards) is a bit bad for me as I'm having issues after the death of a friend. 

Now my life is often referred to as me constantly successfully falling upwards. And seemingly to prove it, next week me and the wife are starting a move from the city outskirts to a village 40 minutes away, and the local pub need someone to work as a shift manager. Not only am I qualified, but it's a pay rise, and literally 4 houses from my new home.

If I get it I'm well sorted.

Well, I broke and started my Lion. I'm a terrible painter, but I find it very relaxing to do. And this mini is so good it coveres a lot of sins.

It's a stunning figure, but I'm a very, very bad painter, and won't do it any justice. 

On 12/31/2023 at 12:07 PM, ReturnOfTheMack said:

All put together. But until we move in January I don't want to start the actual painting.

I broke with 4 days to go. The Lion and a terminator librarian started.

I quite liked Griff back in the day, but he seems to have regressed on the mic. Not that he was every particularly strong there mind.

Stats lizard was a choice. And one I approved of!

On 5/6/2022 at 6:39 PM, ReturnOfTheMack said:

Yeah, we have a flat we let out to a foreign company who have railway (I think) workers over here from Italy. We didn't buy it to let, fuck we didn't buy it at all - it was a gift from my father in law (who is, indeed, a rich Tory voter). I hate having it, and I want to sell it. But while it's rented to people who actually don't want to buy I can at least feel not utterly shit about it. 

We use a company to deal with it, and have already turned down their 'offer' to increase rent above inflation. And we have insisted all appropriate repairs/maintenance are done quickly, even at additional cost.

It, somewhat, mitigates my guilt. 

 

Edit: also I'm a cunt. Fuck all to do with the above though.

I mentioned in the paido forum recently, but managed to get the wife to agree that being landlords is shit and we sold the house on to a dude for his parents. Or so he claims. Either way, my guilt is gone.

@Keith Houchen that's a fucking terrible story. I'm sorry that's happened to you guys. Fuck that dude.

God, my gaming.machine history:

Pong

Amstrad 464+

Master system 1

Mega Drive

PS 1 - 3

Xbox 

Ps 4

Switch

Ps5

I loved my Mega Drive. Kid Chameleon was a favourite of mine, but the family loved to play mega bomberman on multiplayer. 

But my top game was Buck Rogers. Loved a bit of turn based rpg.

38 minutes ago, Just Some Guy said:

The former is on my list the latter is not.

Sounds like the kind of place filled with LARPers who refuse to break character.

It's just a fairly big standard pub with a mildly quirky sign. No actual Tolkien effort at all. My wife wanted to go in for a beer...

2 hours ago, Just Some Guy said:

I'm turning 50 next week.

Going to celebrate with a few nights in Whitby visiting as many cask ale pubs as possible.

The Green Dragon is small but amazing. The Middle Earth Tavern is shite. 

Nee Taskmaster tonight. I'm far too happy about it.

I still find Duck Soup to be the film that makes me laugh even now.

1, 13, 19, 22, 28

Ahhh 2023. The year I stopped being a landlord, bought a new house, had an emotional breakdown, saw Pulp live in concert, went to a destination wedding I wasnt invited to, and had my first seaweed in a Chinese restaurant.

Only the first 2 things are related.

Genuinely looking forward to 2024.

Happy new year all

On 10/25/2023 at 6:47 PM, ReturnOfTheMack said:

I was counted in the official world top 100 players in second edition.

 

By that I mean I came 96th out of 100 in the international tournament.

 

I am mainly into the books/lore these days, but I have put together a 1000pt Marines army (Alpha Legion loyalists).

Thanks to Christmas I'm at 2000 points. Including a Lion El Johnson mini that I'm going to be using as an Alpharius proxy.

All put together. But until we move in January I don't want to start the actual painting.

19 minutes ago, Dr. Alan Grant said:

It does sound like an excuse the filmmakers made after the fact. 

Very, very possibly. Very.

But, as much as I hate to say it, it does kind of make sense. Even if accidentally.

Not that it improves the film by that. Just, maybe, excuses ever so slightly the shitness.

That said, I didn't mind the film. 

22 minutes ago, Dr. Alan Grant said:

The Flash (first watch) - Christ. What a mess. PS3 standard CGI.

To be clear on this, the 'poor cgi' was a deliberate choice during the speedster scenes as its supposed to be representative of how the visuals all mess up when at stupid speeds/time travelling.

Or so is claimed.

So on that I have to defend it. On the choice to do that, and it's script or acting, knock yourself out.

1 hour ago, LaGoosh said:

 I fucking hate the no dq thing of triple threats. When did this start? I think WWE started it in the 2010s but unsure. 

Earlier than that. In 1999 Jesse Ventura was special ref in a triple threat match and as he couldn't DQ HHH for using a chair he just refused to count the pin for him. From what I remember.

I very much enjoyed it. Ruby started a bit shakey, but picked up. 15 was brilliant. It's great to see a Doctor have fun again, and Gatwa having a dance in a skirt was a glorious sight. 

Anita Dobson as the neighbour had me and the wife saying she seemed suss from the get go, so I'm looking forward to seeing where that goes.

Ultimately a fun episode.with great set pieces, and 2 leads with great chemistry (and, as they used to say, something for the Dads, but also now for the mums, and for Uncle Steve who grandad says 'loves musical theatre').