John Matrix

Stumbled across a channel showing 1996's 'The Fan' last night.  Massively underrated film I reckon, one of the best examples of those thrillers the mid 90's did so well, there's absolutely no fat on it, Snipes is brilliant in a more dramatic role, and i'm no De Niro enthusiastic (as my general tastes no doubt reveal) but he's fucking terrifying in this and it says something about his performance and this song choice, that by the time it plays over the end credits, you almost feel sorry for the mad bastard.  If you're fragile like me, have a tissue ready.
 

Good mate of mine (who in recent years our relationship has descended into little more than sending each other links to songs that we're listening to)  sent me a link to this earlier today.  Now I love me some Billy Joel, but wouldn't claim to be an aficionado, and I wondered how i'd not heard this before - apparently because it's brand new, and yet is as utterly powerful and authentic as anything he's ever performed - no sense of having to 'modernise' or have some new fucker on the chorus for a few crossover sales.  Admittedly, i'm soft as shit these days and prone to blub over anything, but as is so often the case when I listen to Billy, it's as if he's written this for me.  Lovely stuff.  
 

Had to make my way through four pages to make sure no one had beaten me to it - this has surely been used on the Indies somewhere, but given they've got form for the old Wrestling music, how someone like Batista or Wardlow has never walked out to this beauty is beyond me... 
 

Enough of this 'beautiful / film of the year' nonsense.  Let's get this thread back on track.  Went and saw EXPEND4BLES last night.   Jesus.

From the snippets I caught while it was in production etc, my expectations were rock bottom going in so it was a pleasant surprise to discover that even those weren't met.

Honestly, the first 45 minutes of this sounds like someone fed the last few scripts into Chat GPT and asked it to spit out another.  Gone are the exciting teases moments before a returning legend appears on screen, instead, shit-arses like 50 Cent simply wander on to a 'Hey Barney' followed by the obligatory 'He's a good kid, ex special forces'.  No one watches these expecting Shakespeare, but christ.  I had to IMDB who played the 'Old CIA buddy' in this one.  Andy Garcia if you're interested.  Not my bag, but such was the laziness of his introduction and general performance it never occurred to me for a second the character was played by anyone remotely prominent.

Whilst the franchise has never been great for it, the CGI in this is fucking ATROCIOUS.  In one of the earlier scenes, Stallone pays a visit to Christmas at home - who's suddenly married to someone other than Charisma Carpenter that we've never met, and just happens to be a fellow high ranking expendable (but don't worry about that, because they don't).  As they stand in the doorway, there's a green screen background of the street behind them which is less convincing than when the put up a roller banner of some bushes outside the front door of people's houses in Neighbours.  I'm no snob when it comes to stuff like this, having watched and enjoyed the shittest of the shit in my time, but when it becomes a distraction, you've got it all wrong.

It absolutely is what it is.  It's like a greatest hits of the first three films, if the greatest hits was performed by the same group 50 years after their prime with none of the dexterity, only this one doesn't have the goodwill of a cast of legends to prop it up.  I love Randy Couture, but suspect he'll work for peanuts.  Gone are the Schwarzenegger cameos, the personality and presence of Terry Crews or the recognisable faces from your straight to video hey-days - sure, Dolph Lundgren is still there, but given his widely publicised battle with Cancer, he cuts a rather sad figure (by his usual incredible standards I mean), facially, he looks more like Frank Langella's Skeletor than the He-Man we know and love.  Sure, Megan Fox is alright to look at, and it's clear they thought that was sufficient given the total lack of effort to explain anything about her...but that's never been why I chose to watch action movies.  

Even the usually bankable chemistry between Statham and Stallone is cringeworthy at best, the two of them reading lines as if they were stuck to the others head on a post it note and revealed to them seconds earlier.

In short, its really bad gang. 

However...

The final third essentially becomes the Jason Statham show, and it's wonderful.  Well worth the wait.  Nothing particularly groundbreaking and given he gets on screen fights with and alongside Tony Jaa and Iko Uwais, I could add further criticism that you just let those guys GO, instead, it's all a little over edited and never entirely gratifying, especially when you compare it to the likes of Stath vs Adkins in the second film.

Jase though.  Fucking hell.  He's brilliant.  I wont win any opinion of the year awards for that, I know, but If charisma was a drug, he'd fail every test.  He carries this thing on his back, which storyline wise was obviously the intention...but it's a fucking good job he's capable of it, because the rest is diabolical.  That said, it's absolutely worth the price of admission to hear him call a confused mercenary a bell-end, so that's something at least.


 

Every year I pop in here to make my annual contribution with a 'here's Peterborough United's offering for the season'.

This year, I got to help launch it.

1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

I see Jason goes to the same tailor as John Matrix.

Not the whole cast so much, but this one has always tickled me.

1991’s Legend of the Dragon sees Shaolin Soccer’s Stephen Chow playing Snooker this time and up against none other than…

I’m utterly obsessed with this image of Scott Adkins having just driven to Dundee in his bare feet.

Heart stopped when I saw this thread was bumped.  Figures there was a Posh fan coming in here to kick off at me.

Since I'm an obvious poster boy for bias, I'll just leave this here...

The lead photo on this article from my local newspaper is something to be admired…

https://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/people/deepings-raft-race-all-smiles-as-banks-packed-out-for-return-of-popular-event-3797717

Does this count?  

Hello strangers.  
 

Don’t feel as though I have much to contribute here these days, though still visit religiously every day.  Love you lot!

Been feeling a little overwhelmed by life the past few weeks/months, but it’s made me appreciate those little things that can make a difference to your day, and the pick me ups that keep you going even when your struggling.

Use this thread to post those daily wins which turn your frown upside down.

Today, I spotted none other than Terry fucking SILVER using posters I’d made to keep fans engaged until Series 5 of Cobra Kai is released in September!

Absolutely BUZZING!

Only went and swept the bloody leg, didn’t I..

I will never understand how all concerned got through this with a straight face - and super topical right now to boot..

Not a fuckin' word, d'ya hear me...

On 3/26/2022 at 1:46 PM, wandshogun09 said:

Randy Couture’s turning into the face on the Pringles can isn’t something I was expecting to see today but here we are.

John Travolta on the other hand.. 

1 hour ago, scratchdj said:

@John Matrix Are those Harry Hill's shoes?

14 hours ago, Loki said:

Check out Accident Man, I did the sound for that movie.  It's pretty good fun!

Did you really?  I'd seen it before as a big fan of the comic strip, but literally watched it again last night.  Cracking little film, looking forward to the sequel.  

Trawling the credits now before my rental expires!

What the fuck has happened to Dana White?  I know he's an absolute toilet, but he always used to have a bit of the nightclub bouncer look about him - cunt looks like Dom Littlewood here.

Got a tickly cough out of nowhere on Tuesday afternoon.  LFT came out negative.

By Wednesday it’d developed into a full on bark. 

Yesterday woke up so shit I couldn’t even get out of bed.  This time, the LFT came back positive.

Today.  Fuck all.  Absolutely fuck all.  A bit lightheaded if I’m on my feet for too long, but apart from that, fuck all.

The point I’m trying to make, is that thus far I’ve watched all four ‘Undisputed’ movies, and about four years after he first recommended them to me, I took up @Dead Mike’s suggestion and watched both the Debt Collector films.

It would appear side effects might also include a sudden penchant for Scott Adkins movies.

Cobra Kai Season 4 (2021)