Fatty Facesitter

Before Roman moves on to Hollywood (if that happens) it’ll be interesting to see where it all goes. I think eventually it will still end with him losing to Cody, taking time off, and eventually it leads to Roman returning, possibly turning face and trying to get the family back together to take on a new enemy, possibly an elite heel group that may have come to fruition in that time. One by one he tries to repair his relationships with his family, which will lead to more drama as they gradually realign. Then you might have a short run with a baby face Bloodline for a bit before everyone moves on to something else or Roman and the Usos might pack the business in, or at least massively reduce their dates. Hugely exciting in prospect. 

Overall - 💉💉💉💉💉💉

👍 Jey turns on the Bloodline - Oh my fucking life. What an extraordinary storyline this has been. An inspired performance from Jey - you felt his pain and his torment, and you felt his sorrow learning that his brother didn’t believe in him as a future tribal chief. He delivered his words so passionately to Jimmy and you hung on his every word. I genuinely thought he might stay with the Bloodline as it was progressing. Then he uttered those fateful words “And I’m out too” - BAM, kicked Roman’s boat off. Roman sold the follow up double super kick like he’d been blasted with a shotgun. I don’t want to certify this next claim until the storyline/angle/epic has formally concluded, but we may well look back on this in the years to come as the greatest wrestling storyline ever. A bold claim but it’s been three years of absolutely incredible television. Thanks to this segment, the teases leading up to it in the evening, and what was certainly a solid show with everything else outside of this angle, we’ve just watched one of Smackdown’s best ever episodes. It was so, so, SO good. 

👍 Tag gauntlet - YES BOY! I’m not a huge fan of the gauntlet format personally, but the action throughout here was good and Sheamus/Ridge put in a proper shift throughout to make it a great story. Pretty Deadly being the last team and shithousing their way to victory was too patter. The match in London is going to be really interesting - Sami/KO (also, loved KO’s outburst) are massively over, but Pretty Deadly might get a monster reception on home soil. 

👍 Charlotte/Bianca exchange - I really enjoyed this. Both came across like megastars and delivered their promos really well, Bianca especially. Although they’ve faced each other before, I’d be well up for it again, or a triple threat with Asuka in the mix. 

👍 Iyo Sky/Zelina Vega - Short but sweet and the Damage CTRL storyline keeps developing at a good pace. 

👍 Mixed tag - Again, short but sweet and a good outing for Kross and Scarlett going over AJ and Michin. Don’t recall seeing that F5-esque finished from Kross before - have to say it looks the business. 

👍 LA Knight vs Santos Escobar - A running theme tonight with the matches as yet again we had a short, yet fun sprint between two good acts. London is going to go absolutely mental for LA Knight. 

Overall - Fuck me. As Supremo said, this civil war might be over before it's even begun. Follow that! 

 👍 BCC/Elite business - Up there with some of the best Dynamite main events ever when looking at the overall presentation including the post-match mayhem. Just insane fun with a great pace kept up throughout with delightful smatterings of violence. The post-match stuff had the crowd in absolute raptures. 

👍 MJF vs Adam Cole - A PPV quality main event to start the show. Shit the bed. Terrific stuff from beginning to end. Every time MJF laces them up he's producing the goods - an absolute cunt and glorious at being so. Adam Cole will never be this forum's favourite, but he's ok by my book and this was fantastic return to top form for him after the long layoff and the stinker with Jericho a few weeks prior. Normally a screwy finish like that would make ones blood boil, but it was the perfect conclusion in this instance and marvellously executed. Loved this. The rematch might be a tough act to follow at this rate. 

👍 Sammy/JAS/Sting business - All good patter ahead of the inevitable turn and feud between Sammy/Jericho...and could we be looking at Jericho vs Sting at All In London? Blow me down!

👍 Wardlow vs Jake Hager - Good. Wardlow on a roll at the moment. Rough night for the JAS! 

👍 Toni Storm vs Skye Blue - Good standard. Skye Blue's best outing by a mile thus far. Storm is really slick - she's really grown in confidence over time and looks completely comfortable out there as a ring general-type. Great build and conclusion and you did wonder if Skye might pull off the upset, so mission accomplished. 

👍 Jungle Hook - Jungleboy is blatantly going to turn on Hook and fuck him over isn't he. You can smell it from a mile away. 

👍 8-man tag - Tons of fun to watch. However...

👎 8-man tag - Now hear me out....I have to give this a thumbs down too even though I'm a huge fan of many of the performers involved. Keith Lee looked absolutely blown up almost immediately after his hot tag. I love the bloke and he's such a unique talent, but he's now losing a bit of his USP and he isn't the same performer during his NXT peak, and I'm afraid it showed here. There were some other bits of miscommunication in the match from other performers too. Also, and I love Stinger, but Brian Cage paying homage to him with the getup while also laying down for him is all a bit Gratitude Era for me. That fall could have gone to Darby or Orange Cassidy. Still a fun watch, but not without some issues.

Overall - Really enjoyed Raw this week and watched the full show during the morning commute. Lots of good stuff this week. 

👍 KO/Sami vs Imperium - Top patter with the promos earlier in the night and a proper banger of a main event. Further evidence that I was correct in my assessments over the last two weeks - KO/Sami switching from the Bloodline to Imperium is not a step down for them, but a big step up for Imperium. Seriously good quality of output across the night from all four parties. KO getting annoyed at all of the terrible wrestling staples like interruptions are just a bloody delight. Also, Gunther looks right at home in a main event, doesn’t he? He’s going to be a fucking brilliant World champion in no time. 

👍 Cody/Dom/Miz business - All fine and dandy. The atmosphere for Cody vs Dom in London is going to be bloody fantastic. Match between Cody/Miz wasn’t a classic but it was a perfectly fine opener. Cody’s backstage promo later in the night was a tidy little number as well. 

👍 Priest vs Riddle - Crowd were sucked into it down the stretch, which bodes really well for both moving forward. The match was great throughout regardless of the crowd anyway - Priest in particular is killing it at the moment. 

👍 Ricochet vs Bronson Reed - Bronson flattening high-flyers is always fun, especially when you have someone as athletic and as game as Ricochet. Ending was crap and I’m not sure about Ricochet/Nakamura feud. But the match prior was fine and dandy. 

👍 Gable vs Erik - Top patter with Maxine doing the arm drag! Short but sweet, love Alpha Academy. Thank you! 

👎 Seth/Finn exchange - Fuck me, this dragged. I’m not as down on Rollins as others are, and the match itself will be a cracker. But when someone (Finn) says “I’ve waited seven years to tell you something and I’m not going to waste another second!”…only to then wait several seconds and go round in circles afterwards, that doesn’t make for great telly, as mad as the crowd element was. 

👎 Becky/Zoey/Chelsea business - Bit undecided on this one. The Becky/Zoey exchange had a few fluffed lines and the match between Becky/Chelsea was quite short and not very exciting. However, Zoey looks the business - she’s going to greatly benefit from the association with Trish and rubbing shoulders with Becky. 

👎 Racquel vs Shayna - So much potential for a banger here, but impossible for them to showcase that within three minutes.

Double-bill review of the go-home TV show AND Against All Odds itself. Strap in - lots to love about both! 

Overall - Impact on a serious role at the moment in terms of the quality of their output. Banger after banger in terms of matches and some good long-term storytelling from a character perspective. The crowds continue to be hit and miss, but there can be no grumblings about what's being laid out in front of them. 

TV - 8/6/23 

Overall - To be honest, as positive as this show was, there wasn't anything on here that you absolutely needed to see before the PPV. 

👍 Moose/Rich Swann vs. Jonathan Gresham/Nick Aldis - Good main event to build towards the PPV 8-4-1 encounter, which in itself is an interesting concept. 

👍 Chris Bey/Jason Hotch - Good opener and made for more intrigue heading into the PPV clash for the tag straps. 

👍 Hendry/Dango business - Loving all of this. Dango's new persona is really interesting new direction, while Hendry continues to bring the fun factor. I'm still slightly gutted Dango turned heel as this was a really fun comedy double act, but it's still a good on-screen pairing for a feud. 

👍 Bhupinder Gujjar vs. Trey Miguel - Short but sweet and a good heater for Trey heading into the PPV. 

 👍 Swing Daddy - Top gimmick!

👎 Heath vs Sheldon Jean - Too short to be anything of note, as much as I love Heath. 

👎 Death Dollz vs The Coven - Still a straight 'no' for all of the undead realm business. Nothing spectacular in the match either. Not for me, Clive. 

Against All Odds 2023

Overall - Some top quality bouts once again. Even for the matches with a thumbs down, there was nothing so outrageously bad it would warrant a scolding. Some interesting results will make for some interesting TV to come. 

  👍 Steve Maclin vs Alex Shelley - Now then! I didn't see that result coming, and what a lovely surprise it was. They picked up the pace as things wore on, Shelley gave you just enough to keep believing and to keep invested in the match, it built to a great crescendo, and Maclin was ultimately the victim of his own downfall. A memorable moment for Shelley (and Sabin earlier in the night) and a really good conclusion to this PPV event. Lots of questions to ponder ahead of Slammiversary too. Top stuff. 

 👍 8-4-1 match - Lots to like about this one. The dynamic throughout of Bully Ray being essentially hated by everyone, tag partners being forced to get along but still putting on a ripper, then the four-way itself being great, all made for a fun showing. Two good matches for the price of one. The result now seems more surprising in the interim with Aldis getting the shot against who we assumed would be Steve Maclin, alas, nay! 

👍 Try Miguel vs Chris Sabin - Top stuff. Sabin busting out some finishes from X-Division legends of the past was a nice touch. When Miguel whipped out the spray paint, I thought for sure the end was nigh, but I was pleasantly surprised by the result. It's the end of an interesting reign for Miguel, but Sabin getting the strap again is fine and dandy with me (it also made sense within the context of Shelley's win and the two of them getting to share that moment together).  

👍 Joe Hendry vs Dirty Dango - As stated many times in these Impact reviews, absolutely love these two and this one didn't disappoint. Dango's 'Gratitude Era' tights look spiffy. Probably not the result I was expecting, but Dango's new gimmick is a strong one and I don't think this will key any momentum as they build that up. As. for Hendry, he continues to be one of the kings audience participation in the promotion and there's no reason whatsoever why he shouldn't be higher up the card. I usualy skip pr-eshow matches but I'm glad I didn't with this one. 

👍 Frankie Kazarian vs Eddie Edwards - Some really good technical exchanges here and it was quite pacy too. Far more enjoyable than I was initially expecting it to be. 

👍 ABC vs The Good Hands - An absolute ripper and there were plenty of moments where I bought the prospect of the title change. ABC continue to amaze with their athleticism - this is turning into quite the reign for them in terms of building up a strong catalogue of bangers. 

 👎 OVE vs The Design - Haven't been a fan of this since the beginning, still not a fan now. One or two interesting spots, otherwise I find the whole sage cringeworthy and not my cup of tea. 

 👎 Trinity/Purazzo vs Shaw/Evans - Made sense within a storyline context, but it didn't quite feel like a PPV quality affair. Would have been better served on the TV show, or perhaps being placed earlier on the card. 

👎 Killer Kelly/Mascha Slamovich - Felt like it dragged a little too long and although there was no shortage of effort, the stipulation served as more of a constraint rather than as a source of creativity. The show of respect was interesting afterwards - I don't think this feud has really worked as intended, but a partnership might actually work quite well for the Knockouts tag ranks. 

👎 KiLynn King vs Neveah - Pre-show Skip.

On 5/31/2023 at 12:12 PM, Loki said:

@Fatty Facesitter If you need help finding a job, mate, I'm sure we can all pull together Nobody needs to watch every bit of televised wrestling every week!

You'll be pleased to know I've cut right down - I've binned a few shows as I've discovered that, when work is busy, it's tricky to find enough hours in the day! 

Regrettably ROH now falls into that category. There's some great stuff on every show, but it's just just far, far, far too much actual wrestling, which I know is an odd negative to throw out - but it does often feel like wrestling for wrestling's sake with only smatterings of additional consequence peppered throughout. 

I have enjoyed the stuff with Somoa Joe and Zack Sabre Jr among others though - I'll keep watching in bits and pieces and maybe keep and eye on the PPVs. 

Overall - The Bloodline business was top notch as expected, and the opener was a fantastic bout.m while the main event also delivered. However, the majority of the rest of the show failed to deliver this week. Still a great show, but hit up YouTube for the best bits and don’t bother with the whole caboodle. 

👍 Bloodline Business - More top telly this week even if they didn’t quite deliver what was advertised in the sense of Jey delivering his decision - I’m totally ok with this tough, as they waved more than enough of a carrot to dangle in front of us to tune in again next week when Roman’s back in the building. Hey vs Austin Theory was fine and dandy and the chaos around Jimmy’s interference add further intrigue. All of the teases between Jey, Sami and Heyman during the show were great too. This week was more about edging rather than ejaculating, but it was still fun! 

👍 Santos Escobar vs Mustafa Ali - Excellent effort from both and they provided an absolute ripper. Scary moment on the outside - Escobar’s hurricanrana almost went horribly wrong as he caught his own head on the ring steps on the rotation. Thankfully he made it out unscathed. Blinder of a bout. 

👍 Bayley vs Michin - Fine without being incredible, but plenty of effort on display from both. 

👎 Women’s title business - The new belt looks shite. Bianca looks white for being spoken to like a naughty schoolgirl by Adam Pearce and not getting involved. As sure as night follows day, a new title is essentially created and Charlotte rocks up. There’s some intrigue in what happens next in terms of matches, but the execution here failed to satisfy. 

👎 Women’s tag title business - Poor promos and there’s no intrigue in this at all. Two sets of women’s tag titles in the gutter. 

👎 Butch vs Baron Corbin - Pleased Butch is in the MITB ladder match, but that aside, Corbin sucks the life out of everything he appears in. Match wasn’t long enough to be of any merit. 

👎 Iyo Sky vs Shotzi - The right result but again, an mismatch in terms of opponents in terms of quality - Shotzi isn’t up the same standard as some of her counterparts and it shows on a weekly basis. 

Overall - T'riffic Dynamite! Lots to get excited about at the moment heading Forbidden Door, Collision and beyond. Some top matches tonight and some top promos too. Dynamite is certainly in fine fettle at the moment. 

👍 Orange Cassidy vs Swerve Strickland - Every time 'Jane' plays at the start of Dynamite it gets the juices flowing, because you know you're about to watch a banger and one of the best wrestlers in the entire world at the moment do his thing. The match itself was tremendous - an absolute ripper with Swerve more than playing his part as the heel foil for Cassidy. The psychology around Cassidy's body getting more and more beaten up with each defence of his title is masterful storytelling and it's only going to get better until he finally hands over the strap. Great stuff, perfect way to open Dynamite this week. 

👍 BCC vs Chaos - Fiercely energetic six-man with an enjoyable conclusion. Barretta's moonsault to the outside being met with a Claudio uppercut and then the submission reversal in the middle of the ring were absolute poetry. Two for two in terms of great matches in the first half of the show. 

👍 Adam Cole/MJF business - Tasty verbal exchange here, playing up to each other's respective histories before throwing out the personal barbs. Cole's line about them both pissing into a cup to see who's natural? Blimey. Bang up for the title match when it happens. 

👍 JungleHook vs Vance/Dralistico - Another energetic and violent tag team affair. Three for three in terms of good matches from the show. 

👍 Takeshita/Callis business - Takeshita's squash was fine and Callis' promo was great again in terms of getting the crowd riled up. The one trouble I think they'll need to think about addressing - so far all of the heat is on Callis and not so much on Takeshita. Long-term, they'll want to transition that slightly. Still, more good stuff here. 

👍 TBS title - Another good'un. Taking the TBS title off of Jade Cargill and putting it on KS looks to be an inspired move. Anna Jay put in another relatively good showing here and looks to be improving all the time. 

👎 Jay White vs Ricky Starks - It wasn't completely terrible but it just never really felt like it picked up the pace as they progressed, and it was in direct contrast to some of the energy displayed by other matches earlier in the night. Not a main event in my eyes. 

👎 Hardy/Page bollocks - Still not even remotely arsed. 

Fuck Liang Wenbo and Li Hang for desecrating our great sport in such a manner. Glad they're banned for life.

Overall - Judged across the full broadcast, a poor Raw this week. But the main event and KO/Gunther were fine outings and that does redress the balance a bit. 

👍 Seth Rollins/Damian Priest - Promo exchange during the opening was a bit on the weak side, but the main event was very tidy indeed. Priest is very comfortable in the main event scene and it’s nice to see him in that environment. Rollins to me is still the best choice for champion in the interim. Interesting to see some dessension teased between Priest and Balor - hopefully it’s not the beginning of the end for the Judgement Day as it’s been such a good run thus far. 

👍 Kevin Owens vs Gunther - Certified banger. This was only ever going to be an absolute ripper and so it proved. I’m delighted Imperium are squaring up against Zayn and KO, and I repeat the point I made last week - I don’t see this programme as a step down for the babyfaces, rather I see it as Imperium levelling up to take on two of the most over acts in the business. I’m here for all of this and there are so many interesting combinations they explore in terms of tags and singles matches. Splendid. 

👍 Cody/Dom business - Very entertaining squabbling. Cody is basically on automatic thumbs up territory for me every week now. Dom’s a good little shithouse - I’m not sure I quite buy him as a challenger for any title at the moment though. I fear a lot of the hatred directed towards him is in an almost ironic fashion, and his in-ring performances haven’t reached the loftier standards to date. But time will tell. Segment was a good giggle though. 

👎 Ricochet vs Shinsuke Nakamura - Disappointing when you consider the potential of this one on paper. The finish blows too, as much as I also see potential in Bronson Reed.  

👎 Becky Lynch vs Sonya Deville - Below average standard. 

👎 Rousey/Baszler vs Chance/Carter - Match was ok, largely because Shana did the bulk of the work, but questionable booking here, sacrificing the new callups almost immediately when their whole act is based on being a tag team…and although their challenge was a spirited one, they lost. If you at least build them up over a few weeks first, that’s something. Now what?

👎 Zoey Stark vs Natalya - I like the booking for Stark and the alliance with Trish will be a huge benefit for her. But this match was incredibly boring. Natalya, respectfully, simply cannot be taken seriously as a legitimate threat in any match now. She’s been presented in far too much of a mediocre fashion for such an elongated period of time, ala Miz, ala Dolph Ziggler. 

👎 Indus Sher’s stuff is lazily booked bollocks that we’ve seen too many times before. Uninteresting. 

Overall - Not the best episode for Impact’s latest TV offering, but still some good angle advancement towards their next few shows. This remains a pretty enjoyable 90 minutes or so of wrestling.

👍 Nothing wrong with the opening promo business with Bully Ray, Maclin and the Motor City Machine Guns (with the Sub-Culture cameo). Funny moment as Shelley warns Bully Ray and Maclin he’s coming after them, then turns to Maclin and goes “Especially you, beautiful” which makes Maclin almost corpse, though he just about holds it together! 

👍 MCMG vs Sub-Culture - A ripper of a main event, and although at first it was hard to lose one’s self in the match with such an obvious result on paper, they did a great job of creating a real sense of jeopardy towards the conclusion. Great effort from all four. Top spot - With one of the Guns on the outside, Webster swings round the outside of the turnbuckle like he’s Tarzan and leaps into a hurricanrana onto the floor. Lovely stuff. 

👍 Women’s title business - Trinity’s match with Savannah Evans wasn’t squeaky clean and wasn’t her best showcase to date, but the post-match chaos were good plot developments. The match between Trinity and Purrazzo has lots of potential. Interesting to see Grayce appear - perhaps this was her last set of tapings, or she’s negotiated a new deal? Time will tell. Giselle Shaw is a good heel fodder for the babyfaces. 

👍 Jody Threat vs Dani Luna - Good back and forth action here. As is par for the course with Impact, their women’s division is working to a really good standard at the moment, and not just in the title picture. 

👎 Eddie Edwards vs Yuya Uemura - Impact normally put out extremely energetic opening contests, but this match the recent standard we’ve become accustomed to. 

👎 Design/Callihan business - I find Callihan’s whole act to be cringeworthy. All this Decay business is incredibly dull and there isn’t an original thought or idea in this entire set of proceedings. Dull. Tag match with Decay was too short to merit any good graces. 

Overall - Massive Blooine developments and some steady build towards Money in the Bank. Only a few minor gripes again this week as Smackers continues to bang. 

👍 Bloodline Business - They’ve done it again. A couple of months ago we thought this had all run it’s course and we felt like Cody was shafted at Wrestlemania and that we simply can’t have nice things. But they took a gamble on the Bloodline angle still having plenty of juice left, they’ve decided to crown Cody at Wrestlemania 40 instead and it’s all going to pay off. Another great night and this is turning into one of the best long-term storylines they’ll ever tell. How Jey Uso isn’t grey I’ll never know. Brilliant. Terrific drama. 

👍 Pretty Deadly/Theory vs Brawling Brutes - Pretty Deadly should be renamed the Dog’s Bollocks, because that’s what they are. Good six-man to open things up. Boy? Yes! 

👍 LA Knight vs Montez Ford - Not squeaky clean and Knight will want to lay off the Lionsaults for a bit, but this was fun. Knight is going to be massively over in London. 

👍 Zelina Vega vs Lacey Evans - Not the most inspiring match ever but I like that they are still firmly behind Zelina. 

👎 Fuck me, what an eyesore that new title is. Hideous. 

👎 Theory’s beard annoys me. It doesn’t look very thick - I know he’s a young man but it looks rubbish, like a load of pubes meshed together. 

👎 Gallows/Anderson vs Hit Row - Awful standard. Also, the Magic Killer is a rubbish finisher. AJ is better than this.

Thought Battleground and NXT TV this week were both distinctly average at best - as such I can’t honestly be fucked to review them. Also, Baron Corbin’s return is an immediate turn off for me. He’s so painfully boring in every aspect. 

Time to take a break from the show. There’s the odd enjoyable element but as a wider production, it’s still not a patch on the HHH pre-pandemic era. 

Overall - Fantastic Dynamite! The in-ring product delivered in spades this week. Angle advancement perhaps took slightly more of a backseat in comparison, but there was certainly enough to keep you guessing about what happens next and enough intrigue for you to want to come back next week to see what’s to come. Power firmly back with Dynamite over Raw this week for tele output. 

👍 BCC vs Lucha Bros/Bandido - Highly physical and energetic start and all six of them did the business. Lovely stuff. 

👍 Elite/Don Callis business - Firstly, Kenny clearly heading to Japan to enlist Kota’s help, Dark Order getting the hump, it’s all good with me. Then Callis and Takeshita had INSANE heat during their promo. Callis really is such a despicable shitbag - love it. Big thumbs up for all of this. 

👍 Adam Cole/Britt Baker vs Chris Jericho/Saraya - The men have atoned for their underwhelming PPV showing and the women delivered here too. Britt locking Jericho in the Lockjaw is a superb visual. A really good way to end the show. 

👍 Gates of Agony vs Orange Cassidy/Darby Allin - I really enjoyed this one. Gates of Agony looked the bollocks - two big lads that can move really quickly and make their attacks look absolutely vicious. Cassidy/Allin were perfect as the underdog heroins, having to dig deep whilst not feeling 100% to hang on, using their bodies as weapons and ultimately overcoming the odds. An absolute smasher. 

👍 Tony S: “IT’S STIIIIIIIING!!!”

👍 Big Bill vs Trent vs Swerve - Fun! Big Bill is on a roll at the moment. A good heater for Swerve in the short term. 

👍 Were they subtly teasing Jungle Boy twatting Hook there with the chair? [Mark Corrigan] I see you! [/Mark Corrigan] Finally Hook is rid of the Firm bollocks. Good. 

👍 Kris Starlandrr vs Nyla Rose - Already the most interesting TBS title defence in recent memory. Good back and forth contest. Nice to have Kris back. 

👎 Tag title business - One of the only things on the show that didn’t grab me. the match will be great, but FTR look like mugs for getting punked out after an average heel promo from the opposition, and I’m not fussed about Starks/Switchblade and I think we’re all ready to move on because neither party is getting any value from it. 

Posted this in the predictions thread but if Mark Field (AKA FC Tomiyasewy) can drop me a PM, he has won the coveted Official FPL UKFF 'Chippy Tea League' - and thus not only has he won the league, but also as per I promise I made earlier in the season, he's won a free chippy tea on me 👍

Morning all, posted this in the main footie thread but if Mark Field (AKA Tomiyasewy) can drop me a PM, he has won the coveted Official FPL UKFF 'Chippy Tea League' - and thus not only has he won the league, but also as per I promise I made earlier in the season, he's won a free chippy tea on me 👍

Finally caught Under Siege -

Overall - Some top content on this PPV. A slow start but with some excellent matches to chew on as things progressed.  Right Impact’s shows are some of my favourite each week. 

👍 Steve Maclin vs PCO - Not for the squeamish but what a mental brawl that was - a proper ugly, grizzly fight where they beat the souls out of one another. Some mad colour on Maclin, deary me, but what a visual! PCO continues to defy his years with another top performance. The post-match continued the violence and pairing Maclin with Bully Ray is one one hell of a call for the main event scene. Two proper irredeemably evil bastards together in unison is going to make for great tele. Superb conclusion to the show, if a tad gory!

👍 Deonna Purazzo vs Jordanne Grayce - Really good standard and further proof that the Knockouts have retaken their place at the top of the profession when it comes to women’s wrestling in North America. They continue to deliver on all fronts in terms of making a great match - physicality, psychology, technically, entertainment, etc etc. Really impressive.

👍 ABC vs Sub-Culture - Bloody hell, great match. Both teams seriously busted a gut and some of the action was incredible. If this had taken place in WWE or AEW it would have been getting rave reviews. Not that it won’t now, but I hope word spreads that this was a match outside of the ‘big two’ that’s well worth checking out. I normally hate the poison rana spot, but the rana administered on both Sub-culture lads at the same time looked mesmerising. 

👍 Trey Miguel vs Chris Sabin - Another good bout and another good showcase of the past and present of the X-Division. Only criticism would be the finish was far too easy to telegraph. 

👍 Six-man #1 contender match - Some good multi-man madness and a surprising result. 

👍 Decay vs Callihan/Swann/Chris - Good six-man that was far more energetic than I was I was perhaps expecting it to be. Went on second in the order, but retrospectively it would have been a more suitable opener. 

👍 Trinity vs Giselle Shaw - Solid. Trinity impresses again - think this will be an inspired move to the promotion for her in the long term. 

👎 Nick Aldis vs Kenny King - I always prefer openers to be full of energy as it really sets the tone for the evening and gets the crowds fired up for the rest of the proceedings. Whilst there was nothing horribly wrong here, it never felt like they got out of second gear and as a result it kind of stuttered along. 

👎 Immediately following on from that, we had a crap brawl between Killer Kelly and Marsha Slamovich. I know it’s a continuation of their TV brawl, but it was just an odd way to shorehorn it into this show and immediately following another match. This further contributed to a flat beginning to the PPV.

👎 Impact’s post-production crew put together some brilliant montages and hype packages, all to a really high visual standard. Their live production team had a rough night of it. Lots of key spots missed due to some errant camera cuts among other things. 

Overall - A transitional episode which was generally fine, but just didn’t have anything particularly eye-catching or anything you’d deem to be unmissable. The fire is being stoked heading into Money in the Bank, but the locomotive isn’t quite steaming down the track just yet. 

👍 Rollins/AJ/Judgement Day business -The opening promo exchange/love-in between Seth and AJ at the start was a bit naff, but the Judgement Day’s involvement and the subsequent match later on elevated  proceedings. Perhaps not the revolutionary start to a new title reign compared to others we’ve seen in the past, but we’ve got some time to establish that between now and MITB and beyond, so I’m happy to let it simmer. Main event itself was solid without being wildly spectacular (which is the overriding theme of the show in general).

👍 Cody knocking it out of the park again with another top promo. Calling out the beast for not being man enough to make him tap?! Neck like a jockey’s bollocks. Have him win the rubber match and maybe, just maybe, we can start revisiting the story we all want to see culminate…

👍 KO-Sami/Imperium/Alpha Academy business - Here for all of this. KO going mental for an unannounced interruption was hilarious. The resulting match was fine. I’ve seen some chat about how this feels like a step down for Sami and KO, but I look at it from a different perspective - the tag titles are probably more over and arguably more prestigious at the moment than they have ever been, and as a result I see it as a great opportunity for Imperium and Alpha Academy to step up to face two of the best performers in the business presently. Glass half full and all that. 

👍 Ricochet vs Miz - Solid again. Ricochet is a superb inclusion the MITB lineup and Miz as the sacrificial lamb tonight made sense in terms of lining that up. 

👍 Trish/Stark/Becky business - I like how intense this has become and also how Stark has been included to throw in a few face into the mix. 

👎 Women’s tag titles four way - Cold truth: WWE’s standard of women’s wrestling output has diminished in recent shows in comparison to their competitors in the market and I’m afraid this is further evidence. It’s not a question of effort - more the booking, match layouts and general execution. Rousey/Baszler winning the titles will hopefully provide a boost to both of them, though you can’t help but feel like both have lost so much momentum since they first joined the company that it might be tough to turn that back around long term. 

👎 Indus Scher squash - Meandering and with barely any redeeming qualities. A squash match layout you’ve seen a million times and will probably have to see a million more of. 

👎 JD McDonagh vs Dolph Ziggler - Despite the intensity and the positive presentation towards JD, fucking up your finisher isn’t a great way to kick off any sort of singles push. Also, in 2023 I’m not sure there’s much at all that can be gained by taking down Dolph Ziggler - an athletic specimen and a solid hand, but about 10 years past his sell-by date in terms of credibility (which isn’t necessarily his fault - more the unimaginative booking that has plagued him for so long).

👎 Shinsuke Nakamura vs Bronson Reed - Dull, slow, uninspiring. Poor finish. 

Overall - Right, obvious point to start - why in the name of Riccaboni is this show three hours?! I’m not saying the action isn’t good, but 19 matches in three hours on a non-PPV/PLE is overly gratuitous. It’s hard enough for Raw, but at least you know roughly what you’re signing up for going in. This show still had some top spots and key moments, but there’s a lot of skippable material which didn’t have a huge amount of consequence. It appears as if our fears about the show turning into the equivalent of Dark are being realised. I realise complaining about too much actual wrestling is a mad argument, but it’s 99% in-ring and about 1% angle or storyline advancement and with everything else to digest across the wrestling landscape, I think they are overloading these shows and it ROH will eat itself alive in the long run if they can’t strike up more of a balance. 

With that in mind and due to the number of matches, I’m going to break slightly from tradition and review each match in ten words or less (not including the names of the participants). 

25/5 

👍 Samoa Joe/Zack Sabre JR vs Daniels/Sydal - Strong main event. Bring on Joe vs Zack, please, thanks. 

👍 Penta vs Slim J - Good semi-main albeit quite short. 

👍 Mark Briscoe vs JD Drake - Good start. Mark is always a solid choice for openers. 

👍 AR Fox vs Kyle Fletcher - Decent little ripper. 

👍 Willow vs Hyan - Good. Always liked Willow. Caprice’s raps are always fun too. 

👍 The Kingdom vs The Macks (?) - Enjoyable! The Mack combo is a fun pairing. 

👍 Mercedes Martinez vs Ellie - Vicious squash and a great presentation for Martinez. 

👍 Rocky Romero vs Titus Alexander - Good stuff again from Romero. Alexander has mad agility. 

👍 Righteous/Grayson vs LSG/Kross/Morales - Decent sprint against the extremely intriguing Grayson backdrop. Good angle. 

👍 Dralistico squash - Fine as a showcase for him. 

👍 Cole/Carter vs Andretti/Martin - Flashes of good athleticism. 

👍 Blake Christian vs Nick Comoroto - Christian’s a highly-energetic daredevil-type who I enjoy watching. 

👎 Athena squash - Athena’s brilliant, but this offered nothing unique. New direction, please! 

👎 Tracy Williams vs Shane Taylor - Nothing terrible but nothing amazing. Easy skip. 

👎 Claudio vs Serpentico - World champ, on second?! Again?! Multiple clotheslines? Ok. Strange finish.

👎 Keira Hogan vs Vertvixen - Effort was there, but nothing Earth-shattering. Soft finish too. 

👎 Ashley D’Amboise vs Danielle Kamela - Physical, but nothing memorable despite a good effort. 

👎 Miranda Alize vs Skye Blue - Pointless. They had zero time. Easy skip again. 

👎 Diamante vs Trish ‘Wiz’ Adora - Nothing surer. Not the one to brighten up my day. 

Overall - I don’t think it’s their best DoN and perhaps by their lofty PPV standards it wasn’t quite Carling look g at the overall picture of things. But fuck me, those two main events were spectacular. That’s not to say there isn’t other great stuff on the show, because there absolutely is, but there were a few elements that perhaps didn’t quite live up to the hype. 

👍 Four Pillars - An absolutely incredible standard from all four men. Some ridiculously eye-catching and beautifully executed spots and some ferocious intensity displayed from bell to bell. So many beautiful touches added including the application of some of their mentor’s finishers, Sammy trying to sucker MJF in by pretending to lay down only to roll him up, Jungle Boy torn between twatting Darby Allen with the title belt and Max’s words saying he lacked killer instinct, and much much more. That’s without even mentioning that despicable bastard MJF using that headlock takeover again. A masterpiece and up there with the promotion’s best ever matches. 

👍 Anarchy in the Arena - I’ll be totally honest and say I hated the start. I know the whole point of the match is that it’s total chaos, and it might just be the odd camera cuts and direction from the truck, but the combination of the spread of locations and the awful live music performance made it a really tough viewing experience as it was just noise and not in a good way. However! Bloody hell, once the focus narrowed to the ring and the general ringside area, it was a mesmerising and glorious symphony of carnage. Takeshita’s reveal at the end was an interesting and bold call - one wonders if we might get Kota Ibushi thrown into the mix now and some sort of mad 5-on-5 at Forbidden Door. Bloody, but brilliant. 

👍 Blackjack Battle Royale - Finish was electric and there were some other interesting parts of the match that I think made it the best choice for the opener. There’s a real decision to make now with regards to Orange Cassidy and the International title - do they carry on with the reign and risk it running out of steam, or do they find a way to bring it to natural end and move him up the card, possibly even into a programme with MJF heading into the rest of the summer? We’re at a crossroads and if anything the next few weeks of booking are arguably the most important for the Orange Cassidy character and just how massive it could go on to become. 

👍 FTR vs JJ/Jay Lethal - This one dragged a bit, but there was lots of fun shithousery from the heels and it escalated brilliantly towards the end. Jarrett celebrating prematurely after the stroke was a thing of beauty. This culminated the storyline involved Mark Briscoe quite nicely. 

👍 Wardlow vs Christian Cage - One spot aside where the ladder gave in on them (and one other thing I’ve mentioned in the thumbs down bit), a thoroughly entertaining brawl. Christian wearing the turtleneck attire was a nice tough. Wardlow’s swanton off the ladder to Luchasaurus will be replayed many times over the years on DoN highlight reels (and indeed his own career showreel).  

👍 Jamie Hayter vs Toni Storm - Fair play to Hayter for gutting it out to ensure the title changed hands in a competitive setting - they threw a lot of smoke and mirrors (and spray paint) at it and it was still an entertaining wider brawl between the respective factions. 

👎 Chris Jericho vs Adam Cole - Disappointing. It didn’t lack in effort or physicality, but it dragged on and the finish - whilst you can see what they were going for on paper - seemed a bit soft in terms of the actual execution. The Y2J/Strong brawl on Dynamite was a better showcase. 

👎 Arn Anderson biting Luchasaurus’ thumb. Bit of a mad spot - almost too mad. 

👎 House of Black vs Acclaimed - Nothing terrible, but they built up the hot tag to Billy for so long only to cut short his momentum in an anti-climatic fashion at the end. Again, generally fine but not something you’ll remember by the time the next Dynamite comes round. 

👎 TBS title business - Not a fan of any of this. The match between Taya and Jade did have some good moments but as with previous defences it was far too easy to spot the outcome and you never felt like there was any serious jeopardy. As for Statlander’s return and taking the title, it was over so quickly and I think they missed a trick by not running with that match in the first place for a longer duration. Jade’s title run had run its course though and at least it’s a new direction. 

10 hours ago, Lorne Malvo said:

I'm not entirely sure why but that photo is proper heartwarming.

It was a heartwarming experience in general - largely because I had heartburn trying to keep up on the ale, but all three lads were three of the nicest blokes you could wish to meet and we had an absolute ball shooting the breeze as well, we had loads in common and enjoyed taking in the absurdity of the fact we were still posting on this mad site after all this time. Handsome devils too as I’m sure you’ll all agree, though I think our next meet-up might have to be in Turkey…

Hope I haven’t got this horribly wrong as it would ruin my street cred but general consensus was let’s all try and meet up again and get more ‘Keffers involved. It was ace. 

4 hours ago, Frankie Crisp said:

The Bloodline? Pah. It’s all about The Hairline.

Wonderful few hours chewing the cud over an overpriced beer with (LTR) @Wretch, @Fatty Facesitterand @Carbomb.

👍 So good to meet these three heroes and take in some pints by the river in the sun. Can confirm all three are absolute diamonds and thoroughly good eggs. 

Overall - Brilliant show. A couple of blemishes, but otherwise lots to love about it. 

👍 KO/Sami vs Roman/Sami - Absolutely masterful booking and utterly gripping throughout. The match itself delivered in spades, but the character work and the overall arc continue to defy predictions of the angle becoming stale and it’s yet another chapter in an absolutely incredible story. KO/Sami winning finally gives them a huge - and massively deserved - W over Roman (even if he didn’t take the fall) and it probably culminates that struggle for them both. Roman of course keeps his singles titles and they can ride that out until Wrestlemania with Cody. The Usos and the conflict that’s brought now will make for continued must-see television heading into the summer. A word on Roman in general - not only has he elevated himself to a completely different stratosphere, but he’s breathed new life into Paul Heyman’s career, elevated KO, Sami, both Usos and now Solo as well. He is the rising tide floating all the ships and what he’s doing is truly exceptional. Just absolutely bloody wonderful. 

👍 Brock Lesnar vs Cody Rhodes - If you’re going to have Cody lose, this I think is the only way you can accomplish it without making him look like a mug. He didn’t get pinned and he didn’t tap - he just passed out from the pain after battling through an injury that was originally inflicted by an unprovoked backstage assault. And even then, he still battled and refused to give the big bully an easy ride. Match itself was a ripper - that’s two for two now between them in terms of quality output. I’d be up for a rubber match and I think that’s what we’ll get based on this result. Long-term, this doesn’t affect my predication that Cody will go to be the one that dethrones Roman at Wrestlemania 40. 

👍 Seth Rollins vs AJ Styles - Good start to proceedings on the night. They mesh really well together and told a great story throughout. Lots of debate about Rollins and his character, but to me, from the moment the title was announced, Seth was the only choice to be the inaugural champion. I actually welcome what they’ve done with his character as it’s a very similar arc and trajectory to someone like The Rock from the attitude era - Rock was such an arse and a cocky dickhead, but he became so popular that he slowly transitioned into a babyface role. But crucially, he changed very little - and as a result he became even more popular and loved as a result. The same has happened to Seth - he’s become so popular in this incarnation of his character that he’s transitioned into the babyface role, but crucially they’ve kept the same aesthetic and persona, and look at the reactions he gets as a result. He almost transcends the face/heel divide because you could quite convincingly put him against either faces or heels and the audience will buy it either way. That’s why he’s the perfect choice for champion. What’s more, he can work with anyone - big guys, small guys, celebrities etc and he can have an absolutely great match with any of them. I’d go as far to argue that he’s the only choice for the inaugural reign with the new strap. Quick word on AJ - I thought it was one of his best singles bouts I can recall for a long time. 

👍 Evil Trish vs Becky Lynch - Seen some criticism of this one online, but I really enjoyed it. They ticked the first box right out of the gate - if you’re going to promote a match as being deeply personal, that needs to be reflected in the performance, and they really went for each other from the word go and maintained that throughout. Trish in particular has taken some criticism, but she was able to keep up with the pace throughout and barring one or two executions that could have been tidier, I thought she was great. The Zoey Stark insertion was a great idea - a great spot for her rubbing shoulders with these two. Far better than I expected it to be. 

👍 Gunther vs Mustafa Ali - Great performance from both. Ali’s best WWE match to date, and there was more of the signature vicious physicality from Gunther. They did a great job of building up the potential upset, even if in the back of your mind it was hard to suspend the disbelief completely. 

👎 Bianca Belair vs Asuka - Surprising conclusion. Match itself I thought didn’t reach the level of their Wrestlemania outing and it felt quite flat. Finish itself was fine and the result did feel like a bit of a shock - I’m guessing this is a plan to move Asuka and the title back across to Raw and perhaps in the coming month the Smackdown title will wind up switching back to it’s actual show as well. It didn’t quite have the epic feel that I think it needed to justify the title change - nothing against Asuka, and perhaps it wasn’t helped by the flat crowd. But it’s an interesting new direction at least and this reign with evil Asuka has some potential. 

👎 Rhea Ripley vs Natalya - A dominant squash which made Ripley look like an absolute killer, but I’m not sure what anyone really gained from this. Ripley beating Natalya just isn’t a huge rub. We already know she’s a dominant champion, so this isn’t telling us anything we don’t already know. It didn’t make sense in a PPV/PLE context either - it would have been better served as a TV squash to build up to something grander on a big show. 

Good friend of mine got married to an absolutely wonderful lass last weekend. Also a Luton fan. 2023 is his year. Commiserations to Keith of course, but what a story. I massively hope Luton stay up. 

*Note - As it’s the last Rampage before DoN and we’re not far off the Collision debut, I’m going to take a breather from watching (and thus reviewing) for now. Might check out the odd YouTube highlight from time to time though.*

Overall - Three solid encounters, but nothing that made you leap out of your chair with glee. Still, some good additional bonus build towards DoN and a breezy hour of wrestling to go with my peanut butter and toast this morning. 

👍 Acclaimed 6-man - Jolly good fun again from the trio who have essentially become Rampage MVPs at this point, with La Faction being good fodder for them. Billy still looks the business. 

👍 Women’s tag - Fine and dandy. AEW’s women’s tag team matches are currently a far better standard than WWE’s output. Britt remains a tremendously popular act. Good to see Nyla Rose back in the mix. 

👍 Best Friends vs Moriarty/Big Bill - Solid (if unspectacular) main event with a fun post-match brawl between the different parties involved in the battle royale. Glad we got an Orange Cassidy cameo to close the show too. 

👎 Page/Gunns 6-man - Easy skip and a completely charmless squash. Page is a great presence on the stick and clearly a capable hand in ring - maybe the roster split will be a good platform for him to ascend up the card again depending on which show he winds up on regularly. As for the wider backdrop with the Hardys, load of bollocks as previously stated. Bin.