marc2j

For a few weeks during the lockdown process, we had 'flushable wipes' in the downstairs bathroom which were incredibly convenient and indeed made my member smell vaguely like lemon. I can only imagine if left long enough the process could make me smell like a turgid cheesecake down below.

If COVID-19 has given us any benefits at all, its the distance between each urinal which prevents the obvious pump action next to you. Also, at my age (not that I'm that old admittedly), potential blowies go hand in hand with a booked hotel and ALL of the booze. Hotel basins are almost made for dipping and cleansing, no?

Firstly, this thread is hilarious. Secondly, as a youngster I found no need to bother, but as I shuffle towards middle age, the shake and wipe is an ever more frustrating necessity in my life. For those cretins who give their old boy a full hand shandy at urinals - have you no shame?

Got my first vaccine the other week. A knock on the door from my neighbour to say they had 6 spare AZ ones down at the clinic and I should get down there sharpish. I did and casually returned home in time to order an Indian. Quality. My brother and his missus were in the garden having a drink with us, so we all nipped down there. Thats a lovely family night out I can tell you. 

Second one is booked for 10th July. Felt like a car had hit me the day afterwards which wasn't much fun.

I watched the McIntyre/Strowman highlight video on YouTube just now, to actually hear Adnan Vik for the first time. He is extremely bland and even more bland than Michael Cole.

But its just the despairing lack of logic that baffles me. Perhaps I've read the results wrong to influence this, but Strowman wants in to the main event at WM: Backlash. So if he wins, it becomes a triple threat.

So Bobby Lashley and MVP stroll down to ringside. From the results it says 'to look after his interests' and because 'he doesnt want a triple threat'.

Yet MVP drags Drew off of Braun's shoulders and if anything, even before the T-Bar/Mace bit, clearly threw the match in Brauns favour, to the detriment of Bobby Lashley.

Which in itself doesnt make sense. But once Braun wins, Lashley is seen standing on the commentary desk, In his glasses. Which he wasnt wearing as he came down to the ring.

So do we see his anger in his eyes that this match is now a triple threat? No You see a suited man standing on a desk wearing very dark shades for no real reason.

I do realise theres a nerds talking about Itchy and Scratchy vibe about this whole post, so will happily accept that 'wizards did it'.

The same Mojo Rawley that they thought by putting some face paint on him, we'd magically believe wasn't the absolute shits? No one will lament his loss, 

Joe on the other hand is still maddening. It must absolutely be a mutual thing because his commentary work was superb, his wrestling work at times in WWE was great - the promos, his work with AJ, his work with Brock. But the injuries and the timing seemingly stripped him of the chance of being given the top chance. 

That said, him rocking up into AEW is very exciting and is the sort of acquisition you'd want them to make, rather than picking up the waifs and strays of the world.

Thats all very well and good, but if they are remaking that, I'd like a Point Blank remake, along with some way to represent the £4m I spent on the arcade machines at Camber Sands. 

Love an arcade shooter.

29 minutes ago, air_raid said:

The amusing thing being that the transition to streamed service TV means people can now choose to watch 3 hours of their favourite show at a time, whereas WWE have been forcing it upon people for years. I can’t imagine watching 3 hours of anything a week just to keep up with all the characters/storylines lest I fall behind.

Very true, but at the same time, Eastenders has run an omnibus on a Sunday that goes on for 2.5 hours and my mum used to sit through that old bollocks every week for years. It was only when the characters/stories got stale she lost all interest. Which I guess is the same as most wrestling fans. For most, when they kill off Phil Mitchell, it'll be like pulling the plug on your childhood.

Yeah those who buy into The Fiend stuff are special brew for sure. When I was in school/college, one of my better mates was a huge Mankind fan, big into the Taker/Kane stuff and genuinely just loved anything a bit cooky and supernatural. Running into him in town a few months back, he immediately brought up how brilliant he though Bray Wyatt was, how intelligent the build and the character was and what not. I think it says more for the imagination of those people who book their own story. But ultimately, The Fiend may well be massively shit, but the only people who really get into it are younglings who are scared of the supernatural stuff, or adults who perv over the darkness of it all. 

The less said about pushing Bliss into that whole thing, the better. She probably needs a wash looking at her Twitter replies.

My second story, in the same online stockbroking job...

I had hired a load of temps for our call centre, based on our new 'app' that was bound to generate loads of questions. It didn't. The app was cool and nifty, but all our clients were pensioners and as a result, no one used it and we had no questions.

Having hired six temps, we realised that four of them could probbaly sod off. My boss, a hulking northern fella from Sunderland asked me for one name to can by the end of the day.

Jenny was that girl. She was hopeless. Far more interested in talking about Emmerdale the night before, a 'wrong first time' attitude and whilst bubbly and incredibly friendly - proper useless.

So, I told Mike to get rid. He assured me he would.

Me and the other call centre supervisors all left at the same time and got on the train. As the doors closed, we saw her shuffling towards the doors. The gods shone on us as the doors closed and we saw her face sink. We knew she had been sacked and didnt really want the awkwardness of that conversation.

Sadly for us, as trains sometimes do, the doors re-opened and she got on. She got on, as did another temp, called Ray.

It dawned on us really quickly that Mike had not 'spoken' to her as promised. She told us how much she was looking forward to coming in on Monday.

Then she received a phone call. From her agency. She very loudly announced that 'all the temps had been sacked'.

Ray, furious, immediately rang the agency, to be assured that only one of the temps had been let go. Which the agency said. ON LOUD SPEAKER.

We then had the horrible joy of a further 30 minutes standing up in the train with her as she cried most of the way home.

My other manager, who was a very good mate of mine, decided to get off the train a whole stop early and walk. Such was his inability to deal with the situation.

Superb. 

She added me on Facebook later that day. I politely declined that request.

Admittedly though, at the time I was like 'oh no, they ruined Ryback', but having heard him speak or write about almost any subject since, he really wasn't the best person to give the ball too. 

Ummed and ah'd over which one to go with, as I have two. 

One of the supervisors, who was a horrible, horrible woman, was chatting to me and a colleague about the 'V Festival'. She was a horrible supervisor, a worse human being and was incredibly predatory around the young lads who joined the firm. 

Being Essex scummers, we were all booked to go to V. She lamented the fact very loudly that she had to pay for a camping ticket to get in - she didn't want to go camping as 'she didn't know what she would catch'.

Thinking I was incredibly clever, I immediately emailed my colleague and said 'I know exactly what she will catch. Slag', 

Except of course I didn't email him. I sent it straight to her. As I watched my life crumble before my eyes, I tried to recall it with no success. I immediately jumped up and very publicly apologised to her, in front of everyone. Saved my job in the end - ended up with a final written warning, lost my £4k bonus and had two more years of her trying to get me sacked at every opportunity she could. (Rightly so to be fair).

She was still the winner though. Two years after that I went for a job at some place in Docklands. Wandered in, had the bestest interview ever. Wandered out and walked straight into HER. I'm pretty sure I would've got at least a second interview, but nah, nothing. So a winner was her.

InsurreXtion 2001 was the first WWF event that my brother and I attended. (We've then did the tapings and house shows annually for a 6/7 year stretch and a couple Manias too).

Myself and my younger brother were mega fans and turning up at Earls Court was basically the culmination of a years long fandom. Our older brother, who at times had let us down with shit, had scored the tickets and he came with us and a couple of his mates too. We stayed up the night before and made signs. God knows what they said on them, but I certainly remember leaving them in the McDonalds down the road. We wandered back in to see them in the big McDs bin. Yeah probably about right to be honest.

This was May, after the Stone Cold heel turn. London didnt give a shit that Austin was a heel and the place went mental when he came out regardless. Everyone felt like they got a massive pop. Except for maybe X-Factor. There I was. Two rows from the very back of Earls Court jamming to Uncle Kracker. 'I know you hate X factor but you ain't gotta look at me like that.'

This was post smartening up, but pre realising UK PPVs were pointless and nothing of consequence would happen. So no surprise Austin ended up retaining via shenanigans. 

But it was a fantastic experience. My only experience of live wrestling before that was seeing Marty Jannetty in Barking. 

It kick started me spending thousands on tickets. Just an awesome experience. 

Yeah not having any denigration of Sneakers. It was the first time I ever heard the word 'Winnebago' and never really understood what it meant.

I've been enjoying Mr Mayor starring Ted Danson, which is currently on NBC. 

I have also turned up very late to the party and am enjoying Homeland. Its awesome and has me proper gripped.

Not a school visit per se, but on a school trip to the Transport Museum in London, Terry Wogan (pre knighthood) was filming something. Our teacher convinced him to come other and say hello, which he did and he was, as expected, quality.

One of my mates whispered 'I thought he was dead', which he heard and replied with a jovial 'Ho ho, rumours of my demise are greatly exaggerated'.

27 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Tbh, I'm on Natalya's side in this one. A pseudo-official WWE account shouldn't be Tweeting memes implying that their own talent are relatively worthless, and she should be in the position to stand up for herself over that.

Particularly when they are giving dollar values for the teams. If it was just pick a squad (A, B, C) no one would care either way, but the dollar value implies less worth and equally to be told you are only worth one dollar is particularly galling. 

I enjoyed it , it wasted 20-odd minutes and obviously quite a bit of it has a wrestling background, which is great. I think it hits the right tone as a comedy and it reminds me very much of Everybody Hates Chris - but seemingly they are using three different ages of Rock to do the story, which is fair enough. Well worth a watch in my view.

17 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Don't try and jazz up Pitsea son. There is still a F&C in Basildon though. However, I'll second the Golden Fish. No idea what it is like now days but It was great as a kid.
 

Good god its a small world 🙂 No amount of hyperbole could ever make Pitsea seem glamorous. 

Kens Fish Bar the other side of Green Lane was big time too, though I'm told that no longer exists. 

Fish and Chickn was always the way around Basildon, until they rebranded us to Churchills. They are good mind. The best chip shops are owned by Greeks, unless its the Golden Fish in Dagenham, which was a winner. Id still drive down the a13 to sit in and have a meal there. Unreal.

He was absolutely awful. Not big enough to be properly fearsome, not convincing enough to make the perception of him any good, he was like someone shrunk Snitsky in the wash.

He was an awful wrestler, seemingly an even more awful person and I dont think anyone in the world will miss him being in WWE.

Genuinely who would hire him at this stage? He's pants.

I think its indicative of how shockingly shit the direction is with the cameras that they completely missed Bayleys elimination and then had to shoe-horn a reply into give the commentators the chance to talk about it.

They missed Edge's spears last year, now this. Its the same bloke running it as years ago no, so why is it so piss poor?

So, for any of the tech nerds who use VPN, is it even possible to get Peacock in the UK with some VPN-gubbins, to take advantage of the Dollar rate and cheapness or is that a no go?

I was in loads. Mostly knocking about with my best pal from school, who admittedly, was really clingy and got really defensive anytime anyone said anything negative about me. Which is great when its in person, but as a keyboard storyline wrestler, makes it really odd and jarring for everyone else playing.

That said, my last proper efed character, 'Marvellous' Marc, was an aging rockstar type who came out to 'The Darkness' and was incredibly aloof. I enjoyed writing it very much.

It did however cause its problems. I used my full name in the efed. Which is fine when you are 14/15 (or 19 as I probably was at my eldest). Because you dont think of the consequences. Because ten or so years later, when everyone can google you, my newest co-workers found an efed with my name on it. Instead of saying 'Ha, you played pretend wrestling', this particular person assumed I was an actual wrestler. That rumour went around the office very swiftly and was not helped by my frequent trips to wrestling shows, Mania etc.

I did clear it all up however, when they realised my cardio and physical fitness are not even in keeping with someone who writes about wrestling, let alone does it.

This is a superb list and as at every year, bloody fantastic. Cheers!