Mr. Seven

Netflix don't have series two. Damn. Do I dare delve back into the world of Heroes? I gave up after season two because it was fucking wretched and I've heard it just gets worse from here. Admittedly, I'm curious to see just how bad it could possibly get.

Thanks to Netflix, watched the first series of Pete VS Life in one late-night sitting. I don't like the gimmick of the show with the two commentators as that aspect is quite forced and it doesn't really do anything new with the 'guy does things at the start of the episode that will come back to haunt him by the end' but I like Rafe Spall and some of the writing is decent. I get the feeling the show didn't make much of a splash though?

Are you on a run of intentionally watching shit films?

Hey so I watched Existenz the other night for the first time since I saw it back on old dingy VHS in... 1999?

 

It's an odd little flick, not so much because of the plot but because it's quite ramshackle. It seems like it's held together by thread (even though the budget was apparently decent-enough sized) and it's got a real charm to it, even if it feels that Cronenberg is a bit late in satirising the videogames industry. Still, it has some cool touches (the gun made out of bones that fires teeth is a particular highlight) and Jennifer Jason Leigh is equal parts adorable and goddamn sexy in it. She's 50 now, which kind of blows my mind.

Sickboy thinks it's the best horror film of the past decade and regularly says it's the greatest sequel to a terrible original of all time. While the latter may well be true, it's still only three stars at best.

The Avengers is three stars at the very best. Nothing more, possibly less. We need to come back to a time when four stars is worth turning your head for. The word 'great' needs to have power again. But, I digress. Let's talk about Prometheus. It might well be the most interesting film of the year when all is said and done. I believe, strongly, that is an embarrassment for every single person involved, and I include those who pay for tickets and take it in. I know I am one for hyperbole, I cannot deny that, but I need you all to know that when I say that this is the worst, most infuriatingly awful film that I have seen for some time, that I mean every letter of every word. And I express this opinion as someone who, deep down, is not a huge fanboy of what came before, but more as someone who simply wanted a good film. I hope, sincerely, that the idiots who railed against Sunshine (and they are idiots) will see the error of their ways when presented with Prometheus. It might be the most depressing suicide note that a director has ever written.

Whiny McFilmcritic

 

How dare the guy do his job.

Nah, the atmosphere gets a little claustrophobic at times due to strong sound editing, but once the tacked-on abortion of an ending pops up, you'll be too apathetic to care.

 

I apologise for being wrong.

 

There's a good boy.

It's shit.

Black Rain is great fun. They don't really make them like that anymore.

It was Pinhead.

 

Fuck off pat.

Forgot he was killed by a Ghostface too. Jesus, is there anything Henriksen won't do?

No, although he gets killed by him too? Not sure I'd go as far as 'icon' there.

Fuck off pat, you absolute mong.

 

On the subject of Aliens and its brothers and sisters, I would like to pose some off-the-top-of-my-head questions to the forum:

 

- Alien or Aliens? And why?

 

- Is Sir Ridley Scott a world class filmmaker, only brilliant when the material is strong and challenging or a decent hack who got lucky over the years? His CV has some absolute stinkers and while Alien and Blade Runner are wonderfully crafted works, it's hard to think of a Ridley Scott directing signature that puts him up there with the greats. Plus, I reckon that there's an argument to be made that Blade Runner only works perfectly because its production was so fragmented. Furthermore, would anyone care about Scott's new film if it wasn't tied to this series?

 

- The theatrical version of Alien omits a scene where Ripley discovers what's left of her crew (including a still alive Dallas who begs for death), confirming that the Alien was abducting them rather than simply killing them. It's in the Director's Cut, and I find it a very curious omission first time round. Sure, intelligent films (sci-fi especially) should never hold the audience's hand and shout the obvious in your face, but this brief scene is important because it shows the true horror of the Alien's intentions and puts Ripley in a more harrowing situation than before. Am I wrong? Is it better left out?

 

- Is Alien 3 rubbish or an admirable failure? Was killing Hicks and Newt off the right move? It's ballsy as fuck but it robs Ripley of an ending and a family that she earned over two films of absolute personal torture.

 

- A trivia question: Lance Henriksen and Bill Paxton both have the amazing distinction of being killed onscreen by a Terminator, an Alien and a Predator. Henriksen also meets a grisly end at the hands of another horror icon. Who?

Rewatched Aliens last night. It's still a magnificent work but fuck me Newt is terrible.

You'll notice the threads it occurs in quickly get closed becaue it's clearly nowhere near as hilarious as endless Eastenders-related antics of a similar nature.

I watched Limitless. As it trundled along I wasn't really minding it but I was waiting for the thing to get going when I realised there was ten minutes left. As soon as the credits rolled I realised that I fucking hated it.

It is essentially a fairly generic story that links you from one killbox to the next, but good lord it's fun. The physics are worth buying the game for alone.

Yeah, that's a clearer form of the point I was trying to make. I hope he does the Michael McIntyre show verbatim some time as he's teased doing so. Apparently he doesn't want to have to pay for the rights.

Funny thing is, I generally don't like stand-up. I get the feeling Lee doesn't either, which might be one of the reasons why he's so good at it.

Check out Lars And The Real Girl.

Pretty much.

Carry On movies suck, dude.

Casino Royale is good. Deal with it.

Went to see The Raid. It's pretty much everything you've heard it is. I wouldn't go the full five stars but it's highly entertaining.