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SuperstarNeilC

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Posts posted by SuperstarNeilC

  1. I watch Talking Pictures every night now. Such quality scripts and dialogue, and I find black & white is much easier on the eye. Also b&w has positive emotional and psychological benefits. Studies have shown that compared to watching colour tv the group that watched b&w suffered less stress, with lowered blood pressure and heart rates.

  2. Talking about The Who, I can’t recommend the 1973 double album Quadrophenia highly enough. There’s nothing that compares to it in the whole of rock music. I’ve been listening to it for decades and am still discovering new elements to it. I know every line of its lyrics by heart. It’s a Life Changing album.

  3. The Ball Balls Incident

    WINTER 1977 - My first year at high school. The PE teacher was a sadist who used to make us play football in sub-zero temperatures. We were on the football pitch and it was so cold the ground was rock hard and the icy cold made our fingers and noses sting. Thick white mist plumed out of our mouths. The local duck pond had frozen over so solidly that kids could skid around on it.

    My best friend at the time was a little wizened boy named Alan Smithson. He was short in height and bone thin, and he used to look up to me like I was some kind of god. Due to his lack of blubber the cold affected him worse than the others, causing him to shiver uncontrollably and his teeth to audibly chatter. He hated the cold, and football, and was half crying at this torture, nose running and eyes teary, stood there on that freezing god-forsaken parallelogram.

    I was a shit footy player but had a powerful kick if the ball lucked into the vicinity of my right boot. Anyway, this day Allah was smiling down on me momentarily and the heavy leather football did luck into the vicinity of my right boot. “Brilliant”, I thought, “I’ll give it a massive hard kick!” Alan Smithson was standing a mere 6 feet from me, facing me. I whacked the leaden ball with all my leg strength - and it flew at warp speed straight into his crotch!!

    He crumpled down onto the Arctic-like ground and howled in pain, curled into a foetal position, clasping his shrivelled testicles mewling in agony. After a few minutes of clucking and commotion he was helped off the pitch and waddled unsteadily to the nurses office.

    Our very close friendship was severed utterly from that point on and even though I’ve not seen him in decades I’ve been reliably informed that he is still afflicted by flashbacks and nightmares due to the “Ball Balls Incident”.

  4. I can’t stand the public face of Walkers Crisps, the super-rich wanker cunt Gary Lineker, but I’m seriously addicted to their cheese & onion flavour. I can’t function as sane human being unless I eat =at least= 2 bags per day. I always need a 6-pack to hand or I feel as cold-turkey as a junkie in a drunk-tank.

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