MrK

On 5/20/2022 at 7:31 PM, Jonny Vegas said:

Give either of them 5 years of PL money and they'd be major players.

On 5/20/2022 at 7:51 PM, Jonny Vegas said:

The only reason players would sign for about 14 of the PL teams ahead of Celtic/Rangers is more money/higher profile.

Surely the above would be the same for Cowdenbeath or Albion Rovers also?

It always astounds me how much Rangers and Celtic fans complain about the disparity in finances with the Premier league yet celebrate winning the Jock league like it’s some achievement. 

The below video explains it much better than I can.

2 hours ago, stumobir said:

TIL Aberdeen is further west than Birmingham. 

Wait. What??

On 2/2/2022 at 6:40 PM, scratchdj said:

Its also scone not scon, by the way. That’s why there’s an ‘e’ on the end.

On 2/2/2022 at 6:45 PM, Carbomb said:

Like that classic film Gone With The Wind? 

Today I learned that despite the first episode being filmed in 1968 and the last episode filmed in 2003, there are actually only 69 episodes of Columbo ever made  

Genuinely thought there were several hundred. 

Why do Tories always look like fucking aliens when trying to do the simplest of everyday tasks. 
 

I’ve never seen anyone make opening and eating a fish supper look more awkward. Christ knows how many takes it took for that to be the best and most natural clip either. 

11 minutes ago, SpiritOfTheForest said:

Well yeah, but

Ah, you’re one of those Celtic fans. 
 

it’s a pretty pointless debate then. 

1 hour ago, SpiritOfTheForest said:

Also shout out to Sheriff becoming the first Moldovan side to make the Champions League group stages last night. I'd argue that could be even more impressive than the Red Imps. 

I'm absolutely loving Ange ball but goodness me tonight sure showed our frailties. We're through after beating AZ. Interestingly, both of the goals we conceded were not from Alkmaar chances but from our own self-inflicted defensive calamities. Still, we advance 3-2 on aggregate and AZ are arguably better than any team we'll play domestically this season . Also, I adore Kyogo. 

Saints fought well tonight but it was all downhill after Wotherspoon got himself sent off. All for nothing which is somewhat disappointing after Callum Davidson's heroics but what a run they've had to even be in this position. LASK are no mugs either. Aberdeen though, totally disappointing. 3-1 at home to a team from Azerbaijan? (I should point out at this stage thatI've only been reading the live text of the other games as I was watching Celtic) That's embarrassing. Indeed, for Hibs, Aberdeen and St Johnstone all to crash out of Europe and for the Old Firm to once again be the only ones playing in Europe this season is disappointing. I had expected Aberdeen to get through and St Johnstone to have a very good chance. For dross like the Red Imps to make the Conference League while "the best of the rest" in Scotland all crash out is pretty sobering. 

That’s a very simplistic way of looking at tonight’s results. You say that Aberdeen losing to a team from Azerbaijan is embarrassing. Completely overlooking the fact that Qarabag were the seeded team and have won their league for the past 7 seasons and have qualified for the group stages of the Champions League, Europa League and now Conference League for the past 8 seasons. They are propped up by oil money and regularly spend 7 figures on players.  Their turnover and wage bill are several times that of Aberdeen.
 

If you find that embarrassing, I dread to think what you thought when our much loved Angeball came a cropper against the unseeded FC Midtjylland a few weeks ago. A team with 15% of our turnover. 

In the US calendar that would be 11th May 2021. 
 

On the 11th May 2021, Edinson Cavani signed a new 1 year contract with Man Utd. 
 

Man Utd signed Edinson Cavani from Paris St Germain. 
 

St Germain is a French liqueur made from elderflower. 
 

Elderflower was a syrup first created by the Roman Empire. 
 

CM Punk is coming back at Summerslam and he’s going to face Roman Reigns at Extreme Rules. 
 

*Takes slow bow*

I haven’t heard any external criticism of his appointment. All criticism is of the process we’ve gone through to appoint him. We’ve taken 106 days to appoint a guy that could have been given the job on day 6. 
 

We let Howe lead us on a merry dance publicly for almost 3 months and have now had to appoint a second choice candidate. He’s now going to miss the first few days of pre season due to quarantine and therefor I guess any signings are many weeks away. And we still don’t have a DoF in place. 
 

We’ve basically managed to stretch out changing a manager so that it potentially costs us 2 seasons. 

1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

One of my balls has really swollen up, it’s about three times the size of the other. Went for a scan the other day and had a nervous shit before I left the house. Had a panic attack in the waiting room wondering if I’d wiped towards my Busters and got some poo on the big fucker that was about to be looked at by medical professionals. 
 

Even if it turns out I haven’t got bollock cancer, I doubt I’d be as relieved as I was when I checked in the surgery bathroom and saw they were clean. I thought it was going to be my Justice moment. 

I’m genuinely so curious as to what position you assumed in a public bathroom that allowed you to check the back of your bollocks?

6 minutes ago, gmoney said:

Hardly any chips with this chippy tea as they're a bit shite from my local if truth be told, but they make up for it. Free can of Tango while I waited as well. 

 

Right, you’ll need to break down that plate for me. I get the fish. And the sausage. What’s the hockey puck looking thing?

12 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

One crisp? You cheap bastard.

Funnily enough he cracked the same joke before he ate it. 

One Chip Challenge

This was what I got him 12 months ago. 
 

Continuing along the same lines, I’ve so far thought of the following…

Surströmming

The world’s smelliest canned fish. 

or 

Beithir Fire Beer

The world’s strongest beer.

I’m swaying towards the beer as I think the fish would be unfair on mum…

I was just looking for general ideas for quirky gifts. 
 

However as you ask, he’s generally a miserable git who spends his days commenting on his neighbours new extension. He likes beer and food. And he loved last years gift (hottest chip) and still brings it up almost a year later. 
 

My first pets name was Ginger. 
 

My mother’s maiden was Jones. 
 

My front door is the colour grey. 

I’m absolutely terrible at buying gifts for people.
 

Mother’s Day gifts for my wife and mum generally consist of a card and chocolates. 

Christmas gifts for my wife and parents usually consist of gift vouchers etc. 

Last Fathers Day I made an effort and bought my old man the World’s Hottest Potato Chip. He absolutely loved it. So I’m hoping to continue this theme and am on the look out for suggestions for more “quirky” gifts. 
 

Longer term I thought this could be a thread where those of us with zero imagination can come for ideas for various gifts for family and friends. 
 

Apologies in advance if there is a similar thread, I had a quick search to no avail. 
 

So UKFF, before this very quickly turns in to a thread on shitting, throw me some unique gifting ideas???
 

5 hours ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Work are trying to incentivise staff into taking the rapid tests by offering an entry into a prize draw for £50 every week if you email a screenshot of your negative test results. I've ordered some anyway, as better to be safe than sorry anyhow. 

Surely any test result should gain entry in to the draw? Seems very harsh to be told you have Covid AND being disqualified from the draw. 

17 minutes ago, David said:

Will UFC fans even be interested in Harri...I mean Biden's inauguration? Unless they're there throwing haymakers and fighting the good fight, of course. 

Nah, UFC fans aren't going to be interested in sleepy Joe's moving-in date.

You don’t think it’s a strange coincidence? A 12pm ET start on a Wednesday is strange at the best of times. Let alone coinciding with one of the most watched events on US television this year. 

Is there a reason for the 5pm U.K. start for the main card tomorrow? It doesn’t make any sense at all from a US viewing perspective as Biden’s inauguration starts at exactly the same time. 
 

Unless Dana is trying to do his pal Don a favour by trying to dilute viewing figures. 

Definitely Chyna and trunk wearing Brock Lesnar. 
 

So much highly charged testosterone. I imagine it to be like a Randy Savage and Ultimate Warrior promo. Just a heaving, breathing, sweating mess that you can’t keep your eyes off of. 

For my own peace of mind, is it racist to use the term B. A. M. E.? Because I’ve always pronounced it in my head as letters as opposed to Bame. 

That was glorious. I know we all predicted this, but I don’t believe anyone genuinely believed it was going to be quite so batshit crazy. 

3 hours ago, wandshogun09 said:

 

What did Henry Cejudo get the medal for??

2020 has not been kind to Bond Girls. 
 

Is that not the same as the Government philosophy but on a smaller scale. 

1. The wife recently saw a great offer on toothpaste so bought about 12 packs. Turns out it’s bicarbonate of soda toothpaste. And it’s got a screw cap. 

Not only does it taste like I’m brushing my teeth with sea water twice a day, but the extra 4 seconds it takes in total to unscrew the top and then screw it back on is slowly totting up. Since the 2nd of August I’ve wasted 6 minutes of my life opening and closing toothpaste. And I’ve still another 9 packs to work my way through. 
 

2. Took the kids for ice cream at the weekend. Due to the new one way system being implemented in town there’s much more available parking. I had a whole street to choose from when I parallel parked up. While the wife was in the shop picking up the ice cream another car came along and pulled in to park in front of me. And despite having 200yds of kerb to choose from then reversed 4 feet so we were almost bumper to bumper. It meant when the wife returned with the ice cream I then had to reverse a few feet before pulling out rather than pulling out straight away. 
 

That last one has been boiling my piss for the past 2 days.