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UKFF Freak Show Award 2011


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Poll: Who is the biggest weirdo on the UKFF? (158 member(s) have cast votes)

Who was the biggest freak in 2011?

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#16 Up Chuck

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Posted 13 January 2012 - 07:22 PM

I didn't believe it personally. Thought it was made up because he thought he'd get applause from the "lads" on here.


I thought the same. Ditto guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember's abortion story from the other day.
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#17 Trevor

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Posted 13 January 2012 - 07:47 PM

Funnily enough, he's called Rey Piste.
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Archbishop of banterbury.

Runner up in "you think you're funny but you're not" award.

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#18 John Galt

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 12:01 PM

I didn't believe it personally. Thought it was made up because he thought he'd get applause from the "lads" on here.


I thought the same. Ditto guy-whose-name-I-can't-remember's abortion story from the other day.


There's nothing lads like more than a bit of rape. Is there a link to this anywhere?

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#19 A Screen Up

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 12:35 PM

One worth mentioning from a few years back was one Friday night when I was in town (Canary Wharf infact) for a good old random piss up with a girl who used to go to my school, had nothing else on so thought fuck it and went with her and her workmates and booked a room in the IBIS (more on this later), anyway it was one of the worst nights of my life, her friends were proper city yuppies and was bars/clubs were quite shit too so up until this point it was a high contender for one of the worst clubbing nights of my life.....until.....one of the girls in the group (who was fucking fit) was sitting down in the corner of the club all upset, so I thought id do the decent thing and talk too her, she was completely off her face and have never seen a girl in the state she was, I think someone actually spiked her she was that clueless, tears running down her face the whole lot, anyway took her into the (mixed toilets) to clear herself up and next thing I know she was all over me but before anything could happen the club was closing so then I had to work out a way to get her out of the toilets, out of the bar/club, into a taxi and back to the hotel without her friends knowing (I knew that as soon as her friends caught wind of the state she was in then my chances of getting off with her would be over and that would add more misery to what was a shit night anyway).

So by this point I was already pre-planning and thinking of ways to do this knowing that at any moment if we were seen then the game would be up, I actually felt like a mental killer/rapist but then thought that because of the state she was in that it would be far better with me taking advantage then some of the other type of blokes hanging about in the club so in all fairness I had her best interests at heart as well and of course I wanted to smash it (As Richard Keys would say).

Anyway I managed to get out of the club without being seen and to a taxi point, how on earth we didn't see anyone at this point I never know because a few of us were staying in the same hotel and there was a good 20 or so people in the group, there was this one guy who kinda knew us from the group but managed to convince him that we was going in a separate direction and off he went, thank god for that I was thinking. So I got her into a cab and 5 minutes later arrived at the Ibis Docklands hotel, then came my next problem...she wouldn't get out the cab, she was in tears going on about all sorts and the minicab driver was trying to usher her out the cab but she just went mental and told him that she's going to stab him up and all sorts and kept telling me to stay in the cab, so after about 10 minutes and a few hugs and nice words I got her out the cab (she broke her heel on her shoe at this point so had to carry her into the hotel), got her up to the hotel room and then couldn't even find the keycard....so told her to stay put outside the room until I came back so went downstairs to reception, had to wait what seemed like ages and saw her friends and the group all at reception, had to give them the nod and pretend I was alone, got the keycard and back upstairs to the room, by this point she was almost passed out but just about awake so got into the room and smashed the shit out of her.

Then about an hour later laying in bed with her next to me I had this vision of her waking up half way in the night and screaming rape or something so had to pretty much ring my girlmate and tell her that her mate was in my room and that I found her in a right state so did the gentleman thing and took her back to my room to calm down so early hours of the morning she went back to one of the girl rooms and my night was probably something I'll never forget again, it was great, she was a proper yuppie posh girl who turned a bit mental but loved every second and turned out to be a decent night after all.

Next morning I remember looking out the window and seeing her jump into her mates car, she looked like she hadn't a clue what happened the night before, her mates never really liked me afterwards so they probably knew what happened but in all truth I still think I did the right thing in at least taking her somewhere safe otherwise she could of ended up anywhere, I remember looking at her phone and seeing about 27 missed calls from someone called Danny which was probably her fella or something.

I won't mention a nearly one night stander with a fat bird, that gives me nightmares to this day but luckily I passed out before anything serious could happen, I felt sick for months after that nearly event.

:laugh:


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#20 Jaffa

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 02:09 PM

Gatso reappeared as Denzell something. He'll be easy to spot - newbie Arsenal supporter in the PL thread.

I imagine your testicles take a right hammering when you hit the deck to do the splits all the time. No scientific proof. I am also not a doctor. I get that feeling however.


#21 spurs 4 life

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 03:19 PM

Gatso reappeared as Denzell something.

He'll be easy to spot - newbie Arsenal supporter in the PL thread.


If it's the same one i'm sure Denzell was supposed to be a Spurs fan and i remember thinking at the time that the stuff he was coming out with was something a Spurs fan would never say.

#22 Up Chuck

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 07:10 PM

On the subject of it possibly being made-up, I'd forgotten that he went on to admit/claim that it was, later in the thread. Anyway, what odds can I get on him signing up again and posting some kind of of tiresome acceptance speech if he wins?
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#23 John Galt

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 09:40 PM

That story is pretty fucking hideous. If it is fake, he still deserves the award for writing a gross, molester fantasy of the lowest kind .

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#24 Keith Houchen

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Posted 15 January 2012 - 10:06 PM

On the subject of it possibly being made-up, I'd forgotten that he went on to admit/claim that it was, later in the thread.

He did, after I said I had screencapped it and sent it to the authorities.