biggs

3 hours ago, Mark Impact said:

Never posted in off topic, but it's one of my favourite places to go and read every now and again.

Just remembered about this thread and thought I'd share my current situation and maybe get some advice. 

I had a panic attack at work recently, and normally I'd say my mental wellbeing is good and I'd never experienced this before, and it was very scary. I had another this weekend and as a result have a doctor's note for one month. 

A bit of background...

In January last year my company started to merge with another they had acquired in 2019, which is based in Oxfordshire, whereas we were based in South Yorkshire. Most of 2020 we ambled along due to Covid but from the Autumn onwards we moved the entire operation down south, losing a lot of headcount and experience. 

I'm the middle of this I was offered a promotion, and I was being groomed to be the department lead in any case so I took it up. I was very open with the new management in that I have a young family which includes step children and I wouldn't be able to relocate, but was assured that working from home would be OK and even seen as the future of things in the business (technology and lockdown helped this of course). 

However, the loss of good people through the merger and Brexit difficulties mean the workload has grown hugely and I am under a lot of pressure. I also struggled with working away from home a couple of days a week, both in that I'm swamped at the new location, supporting new and old colleagues in using new systems etc and that I hate being away from the wife and kids. 

I had an episode when down there where I was sweating profusely, had a tightening, crushing feeling in my chest and also had strange things happening with my vision and was unable to concentrate on anything but that feeling. 

Things clearly weren't working out so I handed in my notice. I had received some support from management early in the year, when I said I didn't think I could handle things and still had a chance to receive a redundancy package and ended up stayed on. But now I told them here it was clear to me I couldn't continue.

I started job hunting immediately and have found something new, but my notice is 3 months. The new place are happy for me to join after this however.

Into my notice I've had my workload ramped up (previously I believe it had been "lightened" to keep me in the game) and I've been asked to work more and more down south despite my reasons for leaving. 

After having a week's annual leave I returned to even more work and demands I work full weeks at the new location and I ended up having a second panic attack. Talked to my doctor and I've been signed off for a month. 

Feeling pretty low in a number of ways now, and just really looking forward to starting my new job.

 

Sounds like a very challenging situation mate. However there are a lot of silver linings.

1. You've recognised the cause of your anxiety and it seems like you have taken proactive and taken strong steps to deal with it. That's hard to do and it reads as though you've been decisive, even with the fog caused by your current role.

2. Despite struggling, you've found a new job, which you are looking forward to starting. Again, when you are low this is hard and shows you have been motivated,

3. Despite things going pear shaped at work, for reasons entirely beyond your control (Brexit, merger), it reads as though you were valued as you were given a promotion and responsibility. You have talent, but you've found yourself in the wrong job at the wrong time.  

4. You've reached out for help - from the doctor and on here too. Speaking about difficulties is a key tool to work through them - it's not easy. Good work for sharing.

You aren't well mate - and it's absolutely okay to be signed off for by a doctor. My advice - take the month off, and then whatever time is left after that until you can start your new job. You've got a role confirmed already so your current company's reference is likely not significant. Spend time with the kids and get well - do things that make you happy, maybe make yourself a checklist of little things to do every day, but switch work right off as it's made you ill. If your current company start agitating, seek advice from a union (if you have one) or Citizen's Advice on employer's responsibilities to provide a safe work environment. This isn't just about bricks and mortar these days - it very much extends to your employer's working culture and work load expectation.

I was in a similar situation myself a couple of years ago. Ended up signed off for a couple of months, then gardening leave until my contract finished - and felt utterly terrible throughout. Lazy, incompetent, lethargic - and a complete failure. After that, I did a couple of short term contracts and have been working in a job I really enjoy since the end of 2019. Comparable pay, no symptoms of anxiety, job satisfaction, autonomy, learning loads, told regularly how well I'm doing, significant pay progression - and not a single day off in eighteen months. There's no shame at all in being unwell - although because it's your mental health which is stopping you working I know the shame is real. You found yourself in a job which left you overwhelmed and it took its toll - that's absolutely fine. Your response - anxiety, panic attacks, low mood - is entirely natural in the circumstances and likely one which many people on here can closely relate to. Your departure from your current role doesn't need to be a source of upset or acrimony - its likely they'll replace you soon enough and this will be a very unpleasant memory/learning experience. 

Hope you feel well soon and enjoy the summer with your family. 

My Mrs works for a global logistics company. They have 20 containers of stock on the boat blocking the Suez, plus dozens more in the traffic jam behind. 

Combined with Brexit and Covid issues.... This made today her her worst day in the office! 

14 minutes ago, Snitsky's back acne said:

Genuine question - I've seen people say about CBS checks but would having those have prevented any of the reported incidents happening?
I appreciate they could prevent repeat offenses etc but all of the names mentioned would, as far as we know, more than likely passed CBS checks were they subject to them wouldn't they?

I think it's a great idea in theory as any kind of regulation is better than none but would it be effective?

That's a great question. In truth, at present it will flag the very worst, although the vast majority of those people will still be in regular contact with legal professionals anyway, accounting for their behaviours, particularly in relation to young people.

For the majority of those who have done terrible things or could do terrible things but don't have a record, it's a deterrent. It says 'we are asking you to prove you haven't done anything terrible before you are allowed in the building'. It's part of a much bigger picture of safeguarding, and in most (seemingly almost all except wrestling) situations working with kids the absolute bare minimum of expectations. It also creates a cycle; many of the stories shared on socials in the last week if proven in court, would show up on a DBS. Require DBS > Report future issues to police through a robust safeguarding policy > get convictions which show up on DBS > create a predator blacklist > make wrestling a safer place.

19 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

For now - and I know this sounds ridiculous given the context - I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt; the people working behind the scenes aren't Alex Shane and Mikey Whiplash, it's Sierra Loxton, it's Leanne, Nina, and so on. And here I'm talking about people specifically working towards something industry-wide, not just the "we've added the only woman we know to our management team" Tweets.

At the moment, there's a lot of understandable distrust and so on, and they're not going to open up to people they don't know. If, once they've come up with a basic framework, or a plan, and make that public, they STILL don't let people in, then I'll give up hope. But I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt in the immediate short-term.

The women mentioned above have recently shared their lived experience and the lived experiences of many others. It paints a brutal picture of endemic rape, abuse, coercion, grooming, discrimination and violence across their industry. The bravery they have shown to come forward and challenge the established culture and those who have thrived in it, is admirable. 

I know nothing of their credentials but hope they are seeking advice - both legal and from other industries experience of safeguarding and inclusive, safe work places - on how to develop a pathway for the future. A robust, thorough, accessible framework which respects the legal rights of under 18s, promotes safety for all working and training in wrestling, encourages a culture where speaking out is treated with respect, understanding and the expectation of investigation, and most importantly acts as a deterrent against perpetrators from thinking any type of abuse is accepted or allowed in wrestling. 

37 minutes ago, Hoptimus said:

This has all been a very sad and depressing long weekend. 

In regards to regulating the business a number of independent promotions in the UK work to an already tight budget and have some of the talent double up to do other duties. 

If you are a promotion that runs a town hall once a month draws 350-400 fans each month at a £12-15 ticket price you have all the various overhead to cover. You have venue, talent fees, event marketing, travel and accommodation. If the promotion doesn't own its own ring then ring hire, production that's not included with the venue hire. There will be other costs that I will have possibly missed. 

Most promotions will struggle to add the cost of professional people in such as on hand medical personnel for all events. 

The wrestlers and anyone backstage might not be willing to pay for any disclosure checks. You could have a scenario where talent are looking for promoters to foot the bill for PVG checks but then the promoter may turn around and say you don't get this yourself you don't get work. Independent wrestling is run on a shoestring budget at times and people will cut costs at every chance to make themselves more profitable. I just hope the industry gets together and is on the same page and there is some sort of regulation and people get themselves disclosure checks.  

I think this is the danger - people won't pay. It really isn't a case of can't. A transferable DBS is £13 a year. If a company cannot afford that for all their employees, they either shouldn't be running or only employ those willing to pay for one themselves. If it is a case of they don't make much money - neither does youth football but any FA affiliated club is expected to give answers to the questions in my original post. 

The reality is, as parents you shouldn't ever consider allowing your child to go anywhere that can't answer those questions - it leaves your child open to the kind of horrific abuse described by KFogg above. That's not blaming parents - we put trust in people who appear authorative or who position themselves as experts in their field. The reality is though, without independent regulation, it becomes quite literally, a playground ripe for predatory behaviour. 

As fans, or indeed promoters, it's very noble to post worthy and woke comments on socials or forums, expressing disappointment or outrage. But if we pay money to these companies, who at best turn a blind eye to any kind of abuse, we are enabling it. 

Moving forward, as a wrestling fan of 30 years, but more importantly someone who has spent their career working with vulnerable children (the type who are often drawn to wrestling), I am unwilling to enable this behaviour anymore. 

It's a stretch, but could a voluntary code of safeguarding practise, assessed by an independent board of fans and ex industry people (Elisar, Len...) with experience in this area, be a way forward? 

It's an utter mess, with an engrained and utterly awful  culture of violent or sexual abuse, mysoginy and the manipulation of the vulnerable at its core. We can be part of the solution... As wrestling like this is utterly abhorrent. 

Safeguarding. 

It seems like there has been significant absence of this in wrestling. It used to be the case with football, which let horrors like Barry Bennell run wild for years. I've worked as a teacher, in youth football and most recently in social services for the last 15 years. It seems that there is, from these stories about minors in particular, a complete lack of safeguarding for those under 18 accross wrestling. 

Four simple questions for all those working in wrestling in the UK (as I assume there is no-one who doesn't work with under 18s in any school or company):

1) Does everyone who works with you in any capacity have Enhanced DBS clearance? 

2) What is your under 18 safeguarding policy? 

3) Who is/are your designated safeguarding officer/s and what accredited training have they completed to attain this status? 

4) What is your procedure for reporting/disclosing and then investigating safeguarding concerns within your organisation? And how do you publicise this procedure to all those involved with your organisation? 

If a company is unable to provide a satisfactory answer to any of these questions - be they involved in wrestling, theatre, football or anything else involving under 18s - they should not be working with children in any way. 

Regarding the wider issue of countless stories of how women and other minority or vulnerable groups who work in wrestling are treated, there has to be a culture shift. The perpetrators should feel worse about committing the act, than the people they are abusing feel about sharing their experiences. With the mates culture in wrestling - typified by the Ospreay/Polyanna example - until people in positions of authority prioritise their legal responsibilities over loyalties to friends or associates - they should not attract a single penny from any wrestling fan. 

I agree that this is only tangentially attached to BLM, but I saw something Michael Johnson said a couple of weeks ago on that issue. If you are not directly standing against this, an active ally to those in positions of weakness who have suffered abuse, you are guilty. When, for example, Progress explain away or absolve themselves of any connection to Havoc or Ospreay's behaviour, they are guilty. 

Does anyone have any experience or advice on working in Dubai/UAE?

I've been offered a 6 month contract there and am thinking of doing it, but just wanted some actual experience other than the biased company I am going with.

 

Biggest one is: if I earn tax free money over there, ie.£4000 a month, can I send home £4000 a month? Or do I pay duty or something, and is it all a big scam?

Something I'm looking into too at the moment - hopefully find out next week if I have a job in Abu Dhabi starting in September.

As Simon says it really depends on the overall package. If it's £4k p/m straight, that's going to get eaten away very easily with rent, flights,medical insurance, household bills... However, if you have a typical overseas hire contract all of that should come in on top of your salary and you'll be able to send plenty home. 

Also worth noting that food is comparable in price to London, household items and clothing a bit more expensive and booze at least 50% more expensive. Again, like anywhere, how much you save depends on how you live. I hear though Dubai in particular invites a very sociable lifestyle that may not be conducive with saving!

Sending money home shouldn't be a problem. Just google 'best way to send money to UK from UAE' and there's plenty of expat advice sites and forums.

Got told by my doctor today that my BMI is 42 and I'm morbidly obese. Me and the other half have decided to finally try and shed some weight.

Have you thought about Slimming World mate? I started and 20 stone 6 in Jan and down to 17'9 now.

Mostly SW and exercise really doing the trick.

The whole group thing feels like a cross between Marjorie Dawes and Tyler Durden at first, but it's really worked for me and my lady.

I went to last night's show at Wembley - my first TNA show.

In terms of my experience with the company, I followed really closely in the first couple of years but since then have only really followed through occasional matches which have been recomended on here and internet reports.

The show itself was fine (aside from the last two matches which were awful), but from an in ring standpoint nowhere near what I saw at Rev Pro two weeks ago or NXT the month before.

I've read some reports that the Angle/Roode match was very good - for me it also was just fine, in terms of pace and intensity nowhere near what you get from a typical main event match in Evolve, PWG, Progress or Rev Pro (the companies I usually follow).

In terms of the venue, the space they had open was virtually full from what I could see. However, they had around 60% of seats (maybe more) closed off and a large part of the section on the right hand side of the aisle seemed to bizarrely have no seats at all. In comparison to NXT the atmosphere was very quiet, but the audience seemed to largely lack the smarkiness of NXT so maybe that's to be expected.

I will say though, that the show itself was an easy watch. There's very little I found offensive in the ring, but nothing even close to great. I've just watched tonight's show on Challenge and still feel the same - although Matthews and Deniro are so poor they make Cole and Booker T sound like Gorilla & Brain!

A big question for me though is what purpose does the company serve?

It's certainly not got the ring work of an ROH or New Japan. It's miles behind Lucha Underground or even ICW and Progress in terms of an aesthetic vision. The company doesn't seem to want to create new stars in the vein of an Evolve or PWG. And it's blown out of the water in every regard when compared with WWE. The only differentiation I can see when compared to other companies is the six sided ring, which looks kinda cool, but seems difficult to work in - tag matches look awkward, the ropes have next to no give.

They obviously have an audience, especially over here, but the product just seems to be meandering, middle of the road, just fine. It's a shame, as with direction, they have some strong (Beer Money, Gail Kim, EC3, The Wolves, Spud, Mark Andrews, Trevor Lee, Drew Galloway, Eric Young, Matt Hardy... and Grado in the comedy face role role) and a platform which I'm sure many talents from the US and UK would like to perform on. 

Get Greg Lamberts book and the 1PW book. They are both first class, and after you read one you have the need for more BritWres sleeze, so you can read that one straight after.

Exactly what I did, sir!

Great companion pieces.

Anyone read Greg Lamberts book Holy Grail about British Wrestling? Any good?

If you were an FWA fan it's a fascinating read, full of behind the curtain insight. The first person narrative really adds to the story too.

If not, still very interesting as it was firmly, far more than 1PW, the foundation that today's vibrant scene was built upon.

Has anyone read Lion's Pride: The Turbulent History of New Japan Pro Wrestling?

I'm about half way through and can't recommend it enough. Part history, part beginners guide, it covers New Japan in considerable depth. It was only published last October so is right up to date too. 

It's maybe not for everyone, especially for those of you who really know your Japanese wrestling (I reckon it might cover a lot you'd already know) but as someone who's not really a massive puro aficionado it gives a lot of context to the back stories and issues surrounding matches. For me, it's  made the product far more accessible and certainly provided some youtube searching inspiration.

Just a heads up that I've put 2 tickets up for sale for both Uprising and Global Wars in the classified forum.

Both below face value and instantly sent via email.

Cheers,

Andy

I may be sat in the nosebleeds but it's the best wrestling moment i've seen live!

Edit: hopefully that sorts it. Apologies to anyone not watching live.

It makes a whole world of sense to me.

NXT's aim is to prepare the talent for the life of a WWE wrestler - not just the performance and athletic aspects. A huge part of that is the international tours.

Professionally I have dealt with many children being bullied.

I tend to advise them to rise above, to appreciate that the bullies are weaker people, less capable than them.

In this case, I have no advice.

I'd also suggest that the word bully is quite era-specific in life. Usually confined to people of school age. How old are you Adam? Is this really an appropriate term for light hearted keyboard banter, which, with respect, you have largely invited upon yourself?

The inevitible break down begins.

UKFF Gold, no doubt.

Never going to be locked Adam, because you keep replying.

Also, will there be gravy on the pies? I assume, being Leeds, and knowing northern boys love gravy, there will be.

And will we have creative control over our characters for the battle royale? I appreciate grammar is no check of a person's ability to book a card, but if it were, we're looking at some WCW circa 1999 era shit here. I'm sorry Adam but  I really don't want my future opportunities to get tainted with your pencil.

Are we SURE this isn't a work?!

I'm genuinely really excited about Rampage going to TNA. If he can develop into being at least solid in the ring, Rampage has better tools than any other MMA fighter to be a success in pro-wrestling.Great look, great promos, has a main event aura, decent mainstream profile outside of MMA/pro-wrestling and an already infamous powerbomb finisher!He's also a pretty big wrestling fan IIRC too?To be honest, I'm surprised WWE didn't make him some kind of offer... maybe he wasn't willing to commit 100% to wrestling, the WWE schedule or didn't fancy hanging out in NXT for a few months.Massive signing for TNA though!