Trout Stain

Mick Foley can barely tie his laces these days. Having him being thrown around a ring by Braun Strowman would cause more damage than taking a rare ming dynasty vase with a small chip in it and trying to fix it with a bulldozer.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's more likely Kurt Angle will end up as Raw GM

I read that as "gassing" and just thought yeah sounds thoroughly fair

I also read that as gassing and thoroughly endorsed the sentiment.

He is literally a bloke who dresses as a clown. What is the bloody point? He isn't even an actual clown

 

Where do you go with the New Day now though? If one of the established teams on Raw win doesn't it make the whole thing just meh.

 

 

Hardys V New Day - WRESTLEMANIA

I genuinely think watching the Hardys win the tag titles at Wrestlemania after taking enough ketamine to cover Aidan O'Brien's stables 10 times over would be the ultimate Wrestlemania moment

 

 

Del Rio is bloody impressive in some regards. He's been with Paige 10 minutes and already has got her to get his name tattooed on her, seemingly willing to give up a well paid dream job for him and also apparently into the Colombian Marching Powder.

 

If I had that sort of influence and control over my wife, life would be a lot more bearable

Yeah. You're a cunt.

Blimey. I only fancy a steak dinner every now and again

Del Rio is bloody impressive in some regards. He's been with Paige 10 minutes and already has got her to get his name tattooed on her, seemingly willing to give up a well paid dream job for him and also apparently into the Colombian Marching Powder.

If I had that sort of influence and control over my wife, life would be a lot more bearable

I believe Mick Foley died about a decade ago, and he's been replaced by some homeless bloke claiming to be the former Cactus Jack. I look at Foley sometimes I cant believe he was ever a good promo. There's just nothing to him anymore. Yet he was amazing back in the day.

They've taken the approach The Beatles did when the real Paul McCartney died in that car crash. Don't tell anyone, we will just replace him with someone else.

Except they've got someone in who is clearly an absolute retard and even more of a grubby little pervert compared to the original

Back on topic, Paige has got herself a lovely "Alberto" tattoo. Yep, her boyfriend of less than a year's fake wrestling name permanently etched on her body. At least she had the sense to eventually delete the Instagram post after, what I assume, was a petty act of defiance on her part.

Nearly as stupid as the time I got "Lucy Beale" tattooed on my leg. The silly mare was killed off a few months later

Where do we stand on Charlie Chaplin and Stan Laurel?

Moustache like Hitler. Not for me, Clive

Del Rio needs to get himself onto Mid-Morning Matters.

I'd love to know his thoughts on the pedestrianisation of Norwich City Centre. It would probably end up being the most exciting thing he has done. Ever.

They should let Del Rio loose on the WWE Universe when he is geared up. Either that or give him a shit load of mandy. Maybe then be wouldn't be such a boring bastard.

When I was at university, we used to take a load of magic mushrooms and see what WWE booking ideas we could come up with. The ultimate gem was Cheltenham Town's Stephen Gillespie in a ladder match with The Rock. Rock wins, Mania goes to Miami. Gillespie wins, Wrestlemania is at Whaddon Road.

I can only conclude WWE have got in contact with the same Polish chef who supplied us to come up with Shane McMahon v The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell at Wrestlemania

Santon said on commentary that Ambrose is "a different piece of toast". What the fuck does that mean?

He's smoothered in marmalade?

That would at least liven things up if he did come out covered in some sort of condiment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAUr61eoboI

 

So good.

I'd go as far as saying that is not only the best Orton-related moment but the best thing WWE have done full stop in years - certainly since Shawn Michaels' ridiculous overselling against Hogan

Christian and Charles Robinson play their part too by just looking at Orton as if to say "you've cracked"

The thought of a load of Geordies tearing their hair out after being described as "a small mining town" was an absolute joy. Cole has obviously NEVER tackled the M6 either if he thinks he is getting from London to Preston in an hour

 I encourage anyone to watch prime-Shawn Michaels and current day Shawn Michaels and try and convince me somewhere along the line the real Shawn Michaels didnt die and they replaced him with some goof troop who cant sit still or shut up that they found on the street.

I totally agree with this - it's the Paul McCartney died in a car crash conspiracy but in this case I actually believe it could have happened

His daughter Noelle seems to be a bit of a cheapskate just like her dad too. She's tried to get fans to buy her PPV tickets a couple of times through twitter. I heard the last time Foley opened his wallet a moth flew out.

She is gorgeous, though

Anonymous GM - even more underwhelming than the thought of Ed Miliband as Prime Minister

Smackdown is nearly as pointless as the Liberal Democrats

Noelle Foley has bought her own (obviously wank) t-shirt out

What is the point? Other than the fact she is very fit, surely nobody other than those with the IQ of a tuna sandwich are going to buy a "Mrs Foley's baby boy's baby girl t-shirt"?

This lad wasnt shy was he?

It's things like that that make me wish I was disabled

Totally agree with the earlier points about Steph's hotness. She is like a fine wine and seems to be getting older with age which is unusual for those in the wrestling business. Not ashamed to admit she gets me more hot on the collar in her 40s than she used to in her 20s.

He's selling Noelle off. I for one would empty a significant proportion of my bank account

Undertaker v Lesnar is the biggest match.

No idea what they will do with Batista v Orton but if they want Bryan in there then they have to start presenting him a bit better. Right now he is nothing more than an annoying wee loser who gets what he wants by whining and moaning,

 

Batisata/Orton is the Main Event, thus it'll be what the show will close with.

Batista vs Orton closing Wrestlemania 30 is the least sensible idea since Princess Di decided she didn't require a seat belt

The boys have arrived.

That has got me more excited than the release of a new Bonnie Tyler music video used to

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that me and Kenny Dykstra were selling crack out of an ice cream van in Basildon. Things were going swimmingly until a policeman who looked suspiciously like Larry Lamb shot Kenny, forcing me to wake up in a cold sweat.This was however nothing compared to the one I had about Kurt Angle and Maddie McCann, although that one can be put down to some seriously strong gouda just before bed