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Do you wipe your knob after a wee?


Do you wipe your knob after a wee?  

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Posted (edited)

I can’t tell you how relieved I am by the numerous accounts of slow motion widdling amongst the, ahem, senior members of the board.

Turn 40 in August and for the last few months I’ve become acutely aware of of how long it takes to get started, often resorting to turning the tap on to get proceedings underway, but fuck me, honestly, once it eventually gets to work, it’s like Bullet-time my flow.  

I have fond memories of my late teens, early 20s, of urinating with such force I could’ve brought unruly protests to a close - thank god for Netflix, I can binge a fucking box-set in there these days.

oh, and I’m a wiper, though not so precious about it that I’ll hunt down a slice of communal piss rag to dab it off with.

Edited by John Matrix
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5 hours ago, scratchdj said:

Being over 40 I’ve fully embraced the sit down wee as the important tool that it is. Going for a piss takes far longer than it used to, and the dab/wipe only adds to that.

I've been doing a 50/50 split of sit down pees since my 20s. Honestly the stupid male stigma around not sitting down for a piss is ruining a lot of fellas lives.

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57 minutes ago, John Matrix said:

Turn 40 in August and for the last few months I’ve become acutely aware of of how long it takes to get started, often resorting to turning the tap on to get proceedings underway, but fuck me, honestly, once it eventually gets to work, it’s like Bullet-time my flow.  

Exactly the same. I initially had a prostate examination, then an ultrasound then the cystoscopy. Nothing seems to be the problem, so it must just be getting older. Glad I got it checked though, I feel a different man since getting the all clear 👍

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There's a bloke at my work who after finishing his piss at the urinal, instead of giving it a shake, he'll flick the tip about 15-20 times. After all the other blokes said they'd witnessed it too, one of them decided to ask him about why he does it. Apparently when he was a kid, while going for a slash at an airport during a family holiday, he witnessed an Italian man doing the same. He thought that it must be a far superior method if it's what they do on the continent and has been doing it ever since. A good 40+ years now.

It's not even a light flick. It's a full on, back of the ear-style flick like you used to do in the playground. You can hear him doing it from the cubicles at the other end of the toilets. 15 or so of them. Every time he takes a piss. For over 40 years. I haven't seen it but I presume his bellend is as calloused as a dressmakers thumb.

It's not even the weirdest thing about the guy.

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I mean surely you see him do it 3 or 4 times then look away, what are you all doing watching the weird fucker smash his helmet 20 times? Does he get to 19 before giving it the “Shall I?” then pound it one last time as you all count along?

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24 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said:

I mean surely you see him do it 3 or 4 times then look away, what are you all doing watching the weird fucker smash his helmet 20 times? Does he get to 19 before giving it the “Shall I?” then pound it one last time as you all count along?

I'm not watching him do it any amount of times. I'm usually in a cubicle wondering if it's him out there or if Rocky has bought his slabs of beef out of the freezer and into the gents.

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9 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said:

I'm not watching him do it any amount of times. I'm usually in a cubicle wondering if it's him out there or if Rocky has bought his slabs of beef out of the freezer and into the gents.

Thank you for this.  Had a shit week and that’s tickled me no end.  

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