Post of the Year 2023 starts on Page 6

[Onyx2]

He might kick that sorry bass out on the street. 

Edited April 8, 2022 by Onyx2

[Chest Rockwell]

Ha! Very good.

[Carbomb]

1 hour ago, chokeout said:

If it's a UKFF themed table top one, I'd buy it

 

"You have unlocked 'anecdote'

If chokeout posted more often, he'd have at least one of the "Poster Of The Year" awards sewn up. Almost every post he makes is informative or hilarious. This is brilliant.

[Chest Rockwell]

2 hours ago, AndyDemmo72 said:

Guys how do you post an image in one of your messages? Jim Brown was on TV at the final in Seville on camera talking about travelling all over the world for Rangers. Its annoying to read some of you thinking I'm not being genuine but I wanted to prove what I'm saying by posting the picture from BBC Scotland on the news. Bold as brass as if he didn't ever do anything wrong to be ashamed of talking about how he follows Rangers everywhere and always will no matter what. If someone wants to email me I will send you the image of Jim from the stadium during his interview on telly.

andy72mcd@outlook.com

 

[Keith Houchen]

David’s below that one is better. 

[air_raid]

On 7/16/2022 at 6:39 PM, RalphyV2 said:

Just had a 6 minute cold bath and it helped me to cool off, if you can tolerate it, I recommend it. Another discovery today is this. If you freeze half a bottle of water overnight and put another bottle of water in the fridge overnight, you pour half in the frozen one the day after and you instantly get very cold but drinkable ice water to take out with you. I took only the frozen one outside expecting it to melt quick. It didn't so I got my dad's very cold refrigerated water and poured it into my frozen one, shook it up, and presto!

 

On 7/16/2022 at 9:44 PM, CleetusVanDamme said:

My half bottle of bath-water tastes funny, even after adding my half bottle of fridge water and half bottle of frozen water (this one was really hard to pour out too). Are we sure 6 minutes was the sweet spot?

I'm in pain, damn you CVD.

[LaGoosh]

@FelatioLips PS1 nostalgia post is the best.

Edited August 10, 2022 by LaGoosh

[Keith Houchen]

Lovely story here. 

5 minutes ago, Fatty Facesitter said:

Double-post wanker but this is a lovely story - 

Mother Facesitter was out doing her weekly shop recently when a young woman approached her, with her daughter. Her daughter is on the autistic spectrum (it'll make sense why I've mentioned this shortly -)

My ma has been a tad stressed with a few work-related bits and pieces and taking care of some of my old man's paperwork (from when he passed away last year), and there's the cost of living and all the other crap everyone else is currently living with, so she's not doing cartwheels but she doesn't grumble, she just gets on with it and tries to make the best of it all. 

Anyway, the young woman mentioned that her daughter wanted to do a random act of kindness for someone that day to spread a little joy. They'd bought some flowers - the flowers the young woman's daughter had picked out were lovely and just so happened to be mum's favourite which are sunflowers.

She was really taken aback, got chatting to them both, the little girl was as sweet as anything and the young woman was apparently a kind soul. Mother Facesitter mentioned that her son was also on the spectrum (hi!). They got chatting a bit but in all the commotion, she completely forgot to ask for their names and they were gone before she could track them down. 

She put an advert in the local rag thanking them and saying how sorry she was she didn't ask for their names, but if anyone knew them to thank them and say what a wonderful gesture it was and how emotional she was about it, how sweet they were, especially the little girl. 

Soon I had a message from an old colleague in my previous job who saw the article, and asked if that was my mum that sent in the note. As it turns out, the young woman is actually her sister and thus the little girl is her niece. I was able to put her sister and my mum in touch and they've since met up for a coffee and it turns out they both have loads in common in terms of what they do working in schools, hobbies, etc. Also my mum has given her a load of resources from my youth which might help the little girl in her development as she gets older, and it's given the young woman lots of optimism about her future. 

How cool is that? And what a superstar that young padawan is. The world is a bloody awful place sometimes, but people like that restore your faith in humanity massively. Also, autism is boss. 

 

[Carbomb]

51 minutes ago, air_raid said:

As a truly weird aside, as someone working in custom clothing, this might not necessarily be anything to do with the shirt sales, but timing. Low cotton yields during the pandemic followed by increased shipping costs (actual boats costing more to get started up when stranded at ports during the pandemic, plus more demand than supply) followed by rising road haulage costs (Russia boycott = oil prices go up = petrol costs go up) plus increased demand (fewer HGV drivers = fewer trucks driving = less availability = higher prices) - these factors have all had a MASSIVE impact on stock of blank goods from manufacturers to vendors, and in turn vendors to decorators. Every manufacturer is thus only spending the money to produce and ship their best sellers, and hardly anything more niche than plain stock in best selling colours - long sleeve, v neck, contrast - was getting produced for fucking ages. So once they sold their initial order, they weren't able to get any more because there weren't ringer Ts to print on anywhere west of Morocco, regardless of whether they wanted 5 or 50,000. I'm assuming its Fruit of the Loom they were using because - well, wrestling companies tend to use them or Gildan virtually exclusively and Gildan havent made a ringer for ages.

But being wrestling I'm not surprised it was spun to be because THE SALES!!!1

air_raid's post about the more likely, real reasons why CM Punk's AEW t-shirt caused a national shortage of blank ringer tees.

It's had a great response, and deserves more, because, as others have said, it's this sort of informative post that should be marked down as a classic.

[Butch2000]

A post in which Fog Dude points out that while Diana loved to love at least I didn’t have to cancel my trip to the fucking St Leger tomorrow.

[quote]I seem to recall Diana's funeral fell during an international break, so no top-flight proper football was affected. She truly was the People's Princess.[/quote]

Edited September 9, 2022 by Butch2000

[Keith Houchen]

15 minutes ago, JNLister said:

Marvellous 

[gmoney]

FelatioLip's succinct insight into long term relationships. 

 

 

[Fatty Facesitter]

It isn't Christmas until @chokeout rides in on his sleigh with a sack full of avatar presents to dish out. This year's crop are up there with the very best. This one for Frankie would belong in the louvre if they displayed GIFs.

 

[SuperBacon]

6 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

Other than posting my condolences to EugeneSpeed, it's been about a year since I've posted at a guess, but what better way to return than inform you all about a big shit? 

I run a workshop, specialising in wood carving and creative arts. Groups of people attend my sessions, typically those associated to charities, or specific groups like OAPs, etc.

On Monday I had an absolutely epic shite at work in my workshop. It was like an end of the year celebratory shit, it was huge. Flushed once, it refused to move, flushed again, nope, then a 3rd time and that's when it all went wrong. 

The water filled the bowl and it was obviously going to be an issue, the toilet couldn't handle it. Big blockage. 

It's a workshop, but we don't have a plunger, so I had to improvise and used a 2 foot by12mm industrial drill bit. After 10 mins of stabbing aimlessly in to the bog, nowt was happening, I was simply swilling filthy shitty water around, it wouldn't drain at all.

I then had to report it, we needed a specialist out, but we have to use approved contractors, and to book one I have to contact the orgs maintenance manager. She's late 20's, prim and proper, very sound lass we'll call Sarah. Not a chance I'm telling Sarah I've just had a massive shit and she needs to sort it out. So I explain the issue but say we've heard rat movement between floors (true) and at a guess, a rat 'or something' is stuck in the down pipe and had frozen...hmm, anyway whatever it had blocked the pipe causing waste to come back up from the previous week. Sounds reasonably plausible and takes the stink off me, while addressing the problem. Sorted.

Later in the day she turns up with a plumber. I lead them to hell and try and drop little ideas about why it's possibly happened, anything other than 'I did a huge shit', I'm too far in now, can't go back. The plumber said "if it wasn't already in the bowl and then all came back up, then it's a drain issue and would require a team in, making it a much bigger job", I just said "hmm right". He put his plunger in the bog, worked his magic and just said the immortal like, "there's nee rats in here like, someone's just had a giant shit". Sarah looked at me, I felt I had to respond but didn't know what to say, I decided in a split second to respond with a shake of my head and said "I'll have a word". 

Have a word with who, and about what?I hadn't worked that out yet, it all happened so fast. As they were leaving they just said "please just remind people not to put anything down that shouldn't and keep an eye on things". I said "yeah of course, they're in today, I'll mention it".

On the way out of the room on the back of the door with a very basic weekly calendar, it's huge, you can't miss it, and in massive letters it states the day and the group due it. 

"Monday: "Old Friends North"

I'd inadvertently blamed my massive bog blocking shit on a group lonely OAPs with communication difficulties. 

Probably a special place in hell for me now, fair enough, but at least Sarah doesn't think I do humongous shits, although she probably does think exactly that.

I'll fuck off again now, might post again next year if anything else of interest happens. Have a nice Christmas.

Wonderful poo related post from @Kaz Hayashi

[Gus Mears]

Was just about to nomimate that. 'There's nee rats in here like, someone's just had a giant shit".