Paid Members scratchdj 2,429 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 “Michael’s in charge of our, er, internet computer.” ”Aye, there’s nee porn on it.” Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gmoney 4,275 Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Michael really is a fantastic character. Alan: Have you got a spoon? Michael: No. Alan: You haven’t got a spoon? Michael: There’s one in the bathroom, but I’ve no cause to use it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Devon Malcolm 13,441 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 Â Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Nexus 360 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 "Xylophone - Xylophone Fish." Â "Nah, it'd sink wouldn't it?" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Wretch 623 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Nostalgia Nonce 1,431 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 20 minutes ago, gmoney said: Michael really is a fantastic character. Seconded. There's moments where he outshines Alan, such as....   Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Bellenda Carlisle 2,064 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12  From UHF Stanley : What's wrong, George? George  : You don't wanna know. Stanley: oh... Why'd I ask?  From Austin Powers Vanessa Kensington: I know I'm paranoid but I can't shake this suspicious feeling about you and miss Fagina Austin: You're right to be suspicious, I shagged her! Vanessa: what? Austin: I shagged her rotten baby, yeah! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members tiger_rick 11,597 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 The early series of Not Going Out had a load of good one liners. My favourite: Lee: You grew up in a cul-de-sac in Henley, what do you know about tragedy? Tim: The Greeks invented it, Shakespeare wrote about it, the Bee-Gees sang it and Steps covered it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wordsfromlee 3,071 Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 "Lieutenant Sex Machine, Homicide! Yeah, what time? Damn! I'm gonna nail this sick mother even if the D.A. takes my badge! Chief, just give me 24 Hours!" *slams telephone down* "God, I wish I knew what all that meant!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SuperBacon 7,607 Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 Was reminded of this stupid joke from Rushmore this afternoon  Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Dead Mike 1,160 Posted January 12 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 12 It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh... Donny: I am the walrus Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SpiritOfTheForest 214 Posted January 12 Report Share Posted January 12 "War is never a picnic. Although obviously, soldiers do end up eating outdoors quite a lot". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Accident Prone 3,492 Posted January 13 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 13 Frank walking past the door in Naked Gun kills me every time. Â Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members garynysmon 1,720 Posted January 13 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 13 (edited) She said she'd be wearing a white chiffon scarf to help me spot her....Oh for fuck sake....  Phoenix Nights 'Robot Wars' Brian Potter: That a robot, son, is it? Teenager: Actually the term is automaton. The Cleaner’s multidirectional, it’s fitted with a twin-wizard blade mechanism at the back and it’s also got a triphammer device at the front. Brian Potter: Have you ever kissed a girl? Edited January 13 by garynysmon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members chokeout 1,996 Posted January 13 Paid Members Report Share Posted January 13 Like most jokes the set up is in the episode but 80s business man's last line in this gets me every time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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