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Minor Annoyances (Vol 2)


Uncle Zeb
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1 hour ago, scratchdj said:

I could spend all day moaning about email etiquette, but since when did writing a simple email become “reaching out”? 

Hey Matt

Thanks for reaching out…

Top level fuckery that seems to have infiltrated our working lives. 'Circling back' is one that makes my teeth itch. Equally frustating is 'taking things offline'. Makes more sense on Zoom calls, but when people are saying that in an 'in-person' meeting? Get in the bin!

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1 hour ago, scratchdj said:

I could spend all day moaning about email etiquette, but since when did writing a simple email become “reaching out”? 

Hey Matt

Thanks for reaching out…

I might start responding to emails with "Thanks for reaching round" and see if it takes off.

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30 minutes ago, marc2j said:

Top level fuckery that seems to have infiltrated our working lives. 'Circling back' is one that makes my teeth itch. Equally frustating is 'taking things offline'. Makes more sense on Zoom calls, but when people are saying that in an 'in-person' meeting? Get in the bin!

I don't mind this one as it's a good shorthand way of saying "shut up and stop derailing the meeting, I'll talk to you about this later".

It sounds wanky, but it's useful.

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"I hope this email finds you well"

Your email finds me depressed, sitting in my pants on the sofa and eating Custard Creams for breakfast, so no.

In all seriousness, this is really the only one that annoys me. It's just so bland and meaningless. 

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There's one lad at work that insists on using my full first name (Jonathan) instead of what I refer to myself as (Jon), even though I use Jon in my signature on all emails and 150+ other staff members call me Jon. The only people that call me Jonathan are my nan, my mum when I'm getting a bollocking and this prick. 

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2 minutes ago, cobra_gordo said:

There's one lad at work that insists on using my full first name (Jonathan) instead of what I refer to myself as (Jon), even though I use Jon in my signature on all emails and 150+ other staff members call me Jon. The only people that call me Jonathan are my nan, my mum when I'm getting a bollocking and this prick. 

Start shaking his hand at the end of every shift.

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11 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

I've debated that in my head a number of times as a natural 'hey' user in spoken conversation. Generally I err on the side of caution as a result when written.. I'll only use it with people I'm more familiar with. So I guess if any of them are like you they just assume I'm an aggressive cunt now.

I start mine with "Hey! Nothing you can say!"...

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1 hour ago, cobra_gordo said:

There's one lad at work that insists on using my full first name (Jonathan) instead of what I refer to myself as (Jon), even though I use Jon in my signature on all emails and 150+ other staff members call me Jon. The only people that call me Jonathan are my nan, my mum when I'm getting a bollocking and this prick. 

I do that with someone and it's solely because they are shorting thier name to seem less middle class and are a cunt, so I know it irritates them.

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Work patter can be the worst. One cunt that thankfully got shitcanned in the Furlough Era created a template that included “I hope that you are well” which is so clunky it makes my teeth hurt. Sadly about three others couldn’t be bothered making their own template so when I view clients on our CRM I see the phrase often and am reminded of that terrible piece of shit.

3 hours ago, Chest Rockwell said:

I don't mind this one as it's a good shorthand way of saying "shut up and stop derailing the meeting, I'll talk to you about this later".

It sounds wanky, but it's useful.

I love when a middle manager uses that phrase and one of my level of expendable nobodies knows they’re being called a twat.

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Some good candidates for the Daily Shithouse going on here! Proud of you!  My favourite thing with those management execuspeak cunts is beating them at their own game. They do it to create an us and them against the uneducated unwashed rabble to show they’re better than us. When they’d pull that shit with me, I used to Gus Hedges the shit out of them. I know other have done this too, but I’d introduce terms based on wrestling initials and constantly use them again and again to the annoyance of everyone to see if they’d catch on. The people who worked the 23:00 - 07:00 shift were always referred to as a night work operative, just so management might have to say “We had the scale out due to be picked this morning but the nwo have already done half”

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1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

When they’d pull that shit with me, I used to Gus Hedges the shit out of them.

Understand Captain America GIF
 

Pop this in your thought percolater, see if it bubbles up!

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Posted (edited)

I always wish people the best in their future endeavours when they tell me they’re leaving. I can’t be the only one here, surely.

Edited by scratchdj
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