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Frankie Crisp
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I did enjoy Tag but the 

Spoiler

whole fake miscarriage

 

bit didn't sit well with me and left a bad taste. Thought it was unnecessary.

I watched a couple of teen horror comedy films from 1999.  Jawbreaker and Idle Hands. Both so incredibly of their time, The Donnas play the prom in the former and The Offspring in the latter,  but good fun.  Do those low budget, silly horrors still get made?  Obviously it's Disneys fault if not.

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13 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Do those low budget, silly horrors still get made?  Obviously it's Disneys fault if not.

Occasionally, but low budget horror these days tends to have nothing happen for an hour and a half and then about 10 minutes of mad, incoherent shit before an abrupt crap ending.

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Posted (edited)

I’ve watched loads of shark films this last week or so. 

The Reef (2010)

Some tense moments but, like most Fergal films, very predictable.

Cage Dive (2017)

I didn’t mind this, although I can understand why it’s disliked. They played too much on the reality TV thing. The flare scene is just dead funny.

47 Metres Down: Uncaged (2019)

Aiden from Sex and the City is treated better by a shark than he was by Carrie Bradshaw.

Bait (2012)

Oh god, this was good. Stupid, over the top but everything I need in a film when I can’t be arsed thinking. Getting legged off by a shark in a shopping centre. Boss.

47 Metres Down (2017)

47 minutes too long.

Frenzy/Surrounded (2018)

JUST USE THE MASSIVE FLOATING BIT OF WOOD TO SLOWLY MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE BOAT YOU DAFT TWATS

The Shallows (2016)

I like it. It’ll never move any award ceremonies but it’s good fun even if the shark clearly plays Chess in its sleep. Great fun.

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

The best shark film not called Jaws. It’s just so much fun. Terrible acting by the leading lady, Thomas Jane being overly serious, LL Cool J bossing it, a parrot and a scene with an oven. Ten stars.

 

Edited by Frankie Crisp
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1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

I did enjoy Tag but the 

  Reveal hidden contents

whole fake miscarriage

 

bit didn't sit well with me and left a bad taste. Thought it was unnecessary.

In the middle of what was otherwise a really good-natured film, it felt so out of place and unpleasant. Absolutely no idea what they were going for with it.

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20 minutes ago, Frankie Crisp said:

Bait (2012)

Oh god, this was good. Stupid, over the top but everything I need in a film when I can’t be arsed thinking. Getting legged off by a shark in a shopping centre. Boss.

Yeah, it was quality, this.

Do crocodile films next!

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The Tomorrow War. (Prime) 

Shove as many film homages as you can into two hours 17 minutes worth of run time. Amongst other films blatantly stolen (sorry, gently paid tribute to) from include. (and this list isnt exhaustive) Alien, The Thing, Predator, Evolution, Starship Troopers, Edge of Tomorrow, World War Z, 28 Weeks Later, Rampage, Transformers. 

Missing the wit of Bruckheimer or Emmerich action flicks yet going for the same vibe it's too long, is all over the place and not something I'd be keen to watch again tbh. 

Notable because Amazon paid Paramount 200 million quid for it and the complete waste of Betty Gilpin in it :/

Others watched

The Beach (Disney Plus) 

Aged horribly. Richard is an utter douche. Book is much better. Cinematography is brilliant and the 'Moby shot' is still amazing. 

The Dead Don't Die (Netflix) 

Meta zombie movie where not much  actually happens aside from the end of the world. Adam Driver is again magnificent, Tilda Swinton was marvellous as a Scottish Undertaker. Not everyone's cuppa tea. 

M. A. S. H (Disney Plus) 

Magnificent. 

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4 minutes ago, patiirc said:

The Dead Don't Die (Netflix) 

Meta zombie movie where not much  actually happens aside from the end of the world. Adam Driver is again magnificent, Tilda Swinton was marvellous as a Scottish Undertaker. Not everyone's cuppa tea. 

I was so disappointed with this film, such a waste of a great cast. As you say not much actually happens. 

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1 hour ago, Frankie Crisp said:

I’ve watched loads of shark films this last week or so. 

The Reef (2010)

Some tense moments but, like most Fergal films, very predictable.

Cage Dive (2017)

I didn’t mind this, although I can understand why it’s disliked. They played too much on the reality TV thing. The flare scene is just dead funny.

47 Metres Down: Uncaged (2019)

Aiden from Sex and the City is treated better by a shark than he was by Carrie Bradshaw.

Bait (2012)

Oh god, this was good. Stupid, over the top but everything I need in a film when I can’t be arsed thinking. Getting legged off by a shark in a shopping centre. Boss.

47 Metres Down (2017)

47 minutes too long.

Frenzy/Surrounded (2018)

JUST USE THE MASSIVE FLOATING BIT OF WOOD TO SLOWLY MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE BOAT YOU DAFT TWATS

The Shallows (2016)

I like it. It’ll never move any award ceremonies but it’s good fun even if the shark clearly plays Chess in its sleep. Great fun.

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

The best shark film not called Jaws. It’s just so much fun. Terrible acting by the leading lady, Thomas Jane being overly serious, LL Cool J bossing it, a parrot and a scene with an oven. Ten stars.

 

Do snake films next and start with this.

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Not watched half as much as I'd like lately, due to Euros and Wimbledon. 

The Mauritanian wasn't great. Really harrowing in parts, a strong cast all on point, yet still really quite boring. Although that is usually the case with these 'based on true events, please give us an Oscar!' type films so I shouldn't be surprised. I was much more surprised by Black Bear which is typically the kind of thing I hate but Aubrey Plaza's performance alone was enough to keep me compelled, she's excellent in this. Antebellum was a real missed opportunity. Some good ideas but none of them really executed well. Janelle Monae does good work though.

Nobody is fantastic. One of my faves of the year so far, I've watched it twice now and actually think I prefer it to any of the John Wick films. We better get a fucking sequel to this. Shiva Baby is excrutiating, in the best way. Just 80 minutes of awkwardness and embarassment, Rachel Sennott is one to keep an eye on. Wasn't that arsed about The Father - it's a fine showcase for Anthony Hopkins but 10 minutes in I felt like I'd seen everything it had to say, and by the end that feeling was justified.

A Quite Place Part II is just as good as the first, which is very good. Expands the story but without sacrificing any of the tense tightly-wound set pieces that the first did so well. 

Freaky is now officially out over here so I reckon a cinema re-watch of that is in order this month.

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13 hours ago, patiirc said:

The Tomorrow War. (Prime) 

Shove as many film homages as you can into two hours 17 minutes worth of run time. Amongst other films blatantly stolen (sorry, gently paid tribute to) from include. (and this list isnt exhaustive) Alien, The Thing, Predator, Evolution, Starship Troopers, Edge of Tomorrow, World War Z, 28 Weeks Later, Rampage, Transformers. 

I really enjoyed The Tomorrow War. Stuck it on last night and thought it was good fun, plenty tense when needed and I loved the creature design. I think it was 20 minutes too long but it won't stop me watching it again. And I thought it was more like Warhammer 40k Tyranids: The Movie.

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I thought Fear Street 1994 was fine for what it was, but I wish it wasn't bogged down in all the supernatural silliness. I much prefer horror (particularly slasher) films without it. The 1978 one, which is clearly heavily inspired by Friday the 13th, looks like it should be good fun. 

Last night I watched Mackintosh & T.J., something I've been trying to track down for a while and finally found thanks to a recent DVD release. 

It's the last film of Roy Rogers, who plays an ageing cowboy drifting around and looking for his next job when he comes across a troubled, homeless tearaway teen and takes him under his wing, straightening him out while they work on a ranch together. 

It is a lovely film, for the most part, but takes a really dark turn at the end, which I didn't expect (though thankfully not in the relationship between the cowboy and the kid). 

I loved the look and feel of the film and Waylon and Willie being on the soundtrack certainly didn't hurt.

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The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009) (Sony Movies or whatever it's called now)

There's nobody else I would have trusted to remake this than Tony Scott and he does a fine job, although I did miss the black humour of the original. Not a bad job at all considering the original is the greatest crime film of the 1970s. Tony Scott was just the best, mainstream cinema remains so much poorer for him not being around.

The Pelican Brief

Alan J. Pakula tried to recapture his Klute / The Parallax View / All the President's Men glory days with another conspiracy thriller. Problem is it was written by John Grisham, who's shite. Wonderful cast, mostly wasted. I don't blame you though, Al.

Year of the Dragon

Michael Cimino was shit and here's more evidence. Boring, racist, appallingly acted drivel with almost nothing going for it aside from a stylish ending and one other scene of enjoyable violence.

Narc

Joe Carnahan should have amounted to way more than he has considering what a superb debut this was. The opening scene is ridiculously good and even Jason Patric is good in it. And now Carnahan is making films with Frank Grillo. What a shame.

Freeway

Superb mid-90s take on Little Red Riding Hood. I didn't used to like Reese Witherspoon but I was absolutely wrong. The courtroom scenes are funny as fuck. And there's Brittany Murphy¬†‚̧ԳŹ

The Last Boy Scout (ITV4)

Head or gut?

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Framed (1975) (Talking Pictures TV)

Superbly violent revenge thriller as Joe Don Baker pursues the conspirators who stole his money, raped his girl and put him in jail. A bit like a deep South Point Blank, there are a couple of brilliant fight scenes and an inventive bit of vehicular torture. Just my cup of tea, and would be for several other reprobates round here -particularly looking at you @Scott Malbranque

Don't Bother to Knock (Sony Movies)

Noted for being a vehicle that was created to show off Marilyn Monroe's prowess as a serious actress, it works well as that and she's actually really good here. Playing against type as a mentally disturbed babysitter, she also gets a great script behind her and a quality support cast from Richard Widmark and Elisha Cook Jr, who says to her at one point "You smell like a cooch dancer!"

Cop Land (ITV4)

This has stood up really well. Interesting to remember back to when this was released and all the fuss that was made about Stallone trying to be a serious actor, but it's so much more than that. I love the set-up of this town almost being like a cop's commune, and the cast is absolutely perfect.

Absolute Power

Kicks off with a brilliant opening half an hour before becoming entirely daft and nowhere near as good. Still fun to see Clint Eastwood as a Master of Disguise, even though all the disguises are complete shit. Good old Gene Hackman though.

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I watched the Fear Street 1978, and it seemed almost entirely pointless. It didn't really add anything to the narrative that we didn't learn - or couldn't have figured it out - in the 1994 episode, and wasn't even a convincing pastiche of '70s horror. With it being set in a 1978 camp, I assumed we were getting a Friday The 13th homage, but it wasn't really that at all, just more of the heavy-handed supernatural guff and teen drama of the first one.

The Sunnydale/Shadyside thing of there being a perfect and a "cursed" side of town works in teen/YA fiction, but comes across as incredibly lazy writing in an adult adaptation. Just incredibly childish High School Musical stuff, at odds with how over the top violent a lot of the rest of the thing is. 

Worst of all, it's not even very convincingly 1970s. No one's clothes or hair feels particularly of the time, and there's none of the attention to detail that made the '90s one feel like it was set in the '90s, in terms of set dressing and cultural references. Yes, all the music cues are '70s tracks, but none of them do a great job of anchoring the story in that time - partly because something like "Don't Fear The Reaper" has transcended being "a '70s song", so doesn't automatically conjure up images of the decade.

 

It also had maybe the worst single line of dialogue I've seen in a film for years:

Spoiler

The entire set-up of the episode is that, picking up where we left off in the '90s one, we know that one woman survived the 1970s massacre. We know her name. She's the one telling the story.

At the end of the episode, one of the kids reacts by going wide-eyed and disbelieving, saying, "you were Ziggy?!". Aside from Ziggy being one of only two characters in the whole story to have her surname, her having said that her sister died (so you've got a 50/50 chance to guess who she might be!), and you already knowing she survived this massacre - she was the one telling the story. Are we supposed to believe that she somehow told the entire story of how she survived a serial killer, but in the third person just to keep some kids guessing?

 

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Everytime I see Magnum, Dev and Frankie post a list of films, I think I should watch more films. So I actually watched two in one night. And what a pair I chose!

Buffaloed - The beautiful Zoey Deutch as a Buffalo girl with lifelong interest in business desperately trying to make it big, getting into debt collecting, being really good at it and pretty much just ending up in prison all the time. Really good supporting cast with Judy Greer and Noah Reid (from Schitts Creek) and an assortment of other characters. It's a pretty smart film with unrealistic but cool dialogue. I quite enjoyed it, it's short and sweet. Was on Sky.

The Escorts (aka Amateur Night) - This just seems like a vehicle for Jason Biggs to be Jason Biggs except I'm not convinced Jason Biggs was someone anyone would create a vehicle for in 2016. I'm being hypocritical though, the poster with a high heel standing on Jason Biggs's head was the reason I chucked this on (was Netflix or Prime). He's an out of work architect whose missus is about to give birth so he takes a driving job in desperation only to find it's driving a hooker to appointments and hilarity insues. It's not a terrible film but it's not a good one. It's just kind of there. If you want to see Sharpay from High School Musical pissing on a bloke, it's for you.

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