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I tell you what was shit. Live 8.


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Me & my mate Joe went to watch the Lions test in the pub, so I was proper pissed by about 11am.Then we went to another pub. Then we went back to Joe's flat and watched this shite from beginning to end with his missus and a couple of her mates.

Pretty sure the only acts I didn't shit all over were Floyd, Velvet Revolver and Metallica, but the BBC did that bit for me.

You knew what sort of day it was gonna be pretty early when Chris Martin tried to shoehorn the chorus of Rockin' All Over the World into whatever bland number Coldplay were doing despite the fact it didn't scan in any way, shape or form.

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I'd just moved into a house with my (at the time) Mrs, and were in the habit of having huge, fuck off all day piss up's there during the summer. We heard about this Live 8 thing, though it was going t

The only bands, artists I enjoyed was: R.E.M., Brian Wilson, The Who, Velvet Revolver, Metallica and Pink Floyd. Although the latter definitely seemed a bit forced.

As for the rest, it was mainly filled with "flavour of the month" bands and singers and to be honest, I would glady close the blinds if they were playing in my garden.

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I remember me and my mate watched the whole fucking thing waiting for Velvet Revolver, because we were sort of into Guns N' Roses at the time. We were 14.

We didn't know the schedule and it took forever. They didn't come on until late afternoon or early evening. Then they finally played and they were a bit shite as well. 

I remember there were two fit girls we both fancied had come over and they were bored senseless as well. They wanted to drink WKD and get off with us. We wanted Slash. 

Adding insult to the whole thing, it was a proper nice balmy summer's day that we ended up missing. Live 8 organisers still owe me a balmy summer's day, as far as I'm concerned. 

Go fuck yourself, Snow Patrol. 

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Wasn’t Live8 around the time that Al Gore was on his An Inconvenient Truth run and he had the bright idea of turning off the national grid for a few minutes, before someone had to point out that lots of people in hospitals would die in said minutes, or was that Live Earth?

Someone mentioned about Gogol Bordello performing with Madonna, they did well to land that gig somewhere in the 10 minutes that they were massive for. Watching that Pink Floyd performance back you realise how much of a “look, we’ve said we’ll do it, let’s just get through it” vibe there is to it all. 

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I, like other naive teens of the time, thought Live 8 would be my generation's Live Aid, so set up an LP VHS to record it all. It will not shock you to discover that it was never, ever touched except when I later recorded some muck off Channel 5 on a Friday night.

Remember watching a documentary about the planning of it all some time later. Harvey Goldsmith insisted on UB40 having some long amount of time, so The Killers only got one song because he didn't know who they were. In 2005!

Also allegedly the only reason Kaiser Chiefs ended up doing the dark match in Philadelphia was because someone stuck their name to the wrong pinboard and forgot to change it later. Which I hope is true considering how forgettable Kaiser Chiefs are. 

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I managed to avoid the whole shit-show by attending Oasis at The Etihad Stadium. The start of their set was delayed by over an hour because the safety barrier broke by a surge of people and they couldn't play until it was fixed. As a novice weed smoker, I had a bit too much of a 2 foot spliff and I was getting a bit drowsy with all of the waiting around. 

I decided to have a sit down in the stand and I dozed off. I woke up during the encore. 

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Whole thing was bloody awful. Think I can recall one of my favourite bands at the time Velvet Revolver getting next to no crowd reaction which just pissed me off even more. Amorillo getting to number one in the charts ranks alongside Jive Bunny and the Master Mixers in “what were the British public thinking?” levels of shiteness.

Anyway, I hope you did as you were told by those millionaire musicians and actors and put your hands in your pockets for charity.

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Isn't that about the same time Bono brought out a mobile for like hundreds of quid and only about 3p went to charity? The mid 00s was chick full of that sort of shite. See also, Band Aid 20. The worst one. 

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