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Devon Malcolm

Worst Films You Ever Saw At The Cinema

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As briefly talked about in the DVD thread.

Woman on Top is probably the worst film I've ever seen at the cinema, but I was dragged to see that by a friend I fancied (still do).

Assassination Nation, however, was my choice alone and is the only film I've ever walked out of. Just fucking putrid. Although I did go into it expecting it to be good.

There was also the Queen's Corgi, but that was one for my kids.

I have no excuse with A Cure for Wellness though. I know it would be fucking dreadful and long and it was.

Oh, and I forgot about Rambo: Last Blood. Fuck's sake.

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Easily Epic Movie, Date Movie and Blues Brothers 2000. Some might say I deserve it.

Ooh good shout on Last Blood. That was painful. (Although no where near as painful as the above three)

Edited by DEF

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New Years Eve.

An all star cast and not a single fucking funny joke. Truly utterly painful in every way. The girlfriend at the time dragged me to it. I walked out halfway through (only time I've done this) and waited in the pub next door. 

Runners up: Prometheus, Dreamcatcher, Joker

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Epic Movie for me too. Was one of those I watched just cos I was trying to get a shag. I fell asleep about 30 minutes in thankfully.

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The second Thor movie. For a reason I can no longer remember, I had to hang around town for a bit so thought I'd make the most of my Cineworld Unlimited and it was the only thing on at that exact time. I know next to nothing about these movies but even still I found it dreadful, boring shite. Even nodded off for a bit.

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Quantum of Solace was the one I enjoyed least, but I think the worst critically was Bob Hoskins Mario Brothers. I remember next to nothing about it, hence QoS taking the cake. I actually remember more about the Cornish cinema we went to than the film itself.

I've been meaning to re-watch it for years, see what childhood memories it unlocks but I'm concerned my brain has backed it out like a trauma.

 

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As Good as It Gets. Fucking hell.

I was about 18 and watched it with a girl on a third/fourth date and never saw her again after she dropped me off at my Dad's in her Nissan Micra. I entirely blame this dull piece of shit, rather than my personality and looks and inability to drive. Absolute garbage.

She's dead now, and I kind of blame this film for that as well.

Edited by Frankie Crisp

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16 minutes ago, Joe Blog said:

Superbad. Felt like it lasted 7 hours and was boring as piss. 

Reported.

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The only one I walked out of was the Dracula thing with Gary Oldman.  I'd say for ones I've sat through, it would be one of the Marvel ones, not sure which as they all blend into one.

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Just now, Keith Houchen said:

The only one I walked out of was the Dracula thing with Gary Oldman.  I'd say for ones I've sat through, it would be one of the Marvel ones, not sure which as they all blend into one.

* makes note to ask a question about the second half of Dracula next Friday night

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Wild Wild West. Was awful. Saw it with some cousins when I visited Norway so couldn’t leave because I had no where else to go without them. Just shit.

Batman and Robin was the first time I genuinely  left the cinema being angry and disappointed at a film. And I’d previously paid to see Hackers, Street Fighter and Congo yet THAT was the film that did it

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Either Star Wars Episode 1, which gave 9 year old me a panic attack in the middle of the cinema. Or Clerks 2 which was fucking tragic.

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2 minutes ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

And I’d previously paid to see Hackers, Street Fighter and Congo yet THAT was the film that did it

All 3 of those films are good to very good.

Matrix Revolutions. Cunts.

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Without any fucking doubt Pret a Porter; the 1994 fashion film.

There is a bit shortly after all the models prance about with their boobs and Tattie Scones on show that suggests the film is over. Cue me and every other poor cunt only there due to their girlfriend only for it to be a false finish with another twenty minutes to go.

Spice World, which I took my young cousins to see, was The Shawshank Redemption compared to that pile of wank.

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