Lockdown Confessional

[DavidB6937]

Agreed - I know it's difficult to want to be with anyone when you're feeling like that. You feel like a burden etc. But it sounds like for your own safety at least, a little human interaction would really help to keep your spirits up a little.

[I Bent My Wookie]

Sadly, seclusion is all I can get at the moment. Can't leave the house without getting asked 50 questions and being told it's a bad idea for me to see anyone and mother has decided to leave food outside my bedroom door instead of me interacting with anyone so I've not left my room except to briefly go to the toilet at night since 5am yesterday. 

Absolutely love it, 27 years old and I'm being grounded like a child or being held in a room like I've been sectioned. 

[Nick James]

Sounds like you are really going through the mill quite a bit, mate. I can't really offer any solutions other than maybe getting out for some exercise etc, but as mentioned in my PM, i am open to chatting, as I am sure a lot of people on this board are. Do you do online gaming? There are quite a few communities that are good for interaction on discord, or twitch etc. 

I found when i was going through a low period and felt quite isolated, i created a twitch channel and made quite a few good connections via twitter who I often chatted with quite a bit, some would chat on the stream too. 

Are there any hobbies you have? Maybe a local community center? The one nearby to me does a group on a Thursday for men with mental health issues and loneliness to combat the issues through things such as art, cookery etc.

Please don't suffer alone, we are all here to lend an ear to, totally anonymous and neutral. 

[I Bent My Wookie]

Thanks everyone, managed to sleep and tell my family what exactly happened and what the doctors said is happening with my brain so everyone is laying off a bit now. 

Got told its likely I've something called an Adjustment Disorder, which ties in with an event like losing a job or moving home from university months later making itself a bigger deal than it is and the stress and anxiety caused, mixed with alcohol and negative thoughts manifest itself into self harm, self hatred and danger. 

It's a long road ahead, I've got to get medication again, probably some for the insomnia and anxiety it's all causing and then start talking therapies to deal with my brain and how to stave this off again. 

They seem to think the real first start of it may have come from a close friend killing himself at my university and that was the first time I developed the disorder and that other stressful or traumatic events since may have had the same effect. This latest bout they think is unemployment/money/life related as I've been feeling worse the last few weeks. 

No more beer. That'll suck as with my Aspergers that was my kinda calm down and meet people tool. Will just have to go back to being funny all the time. 

As for hobbies, I'm gonna take up walking again. Luckily there's not as many cows to chase me where I live. I love cooking and mother is working long hours so the more I do around the house the less of a burden I'll feel. 

I've had a positive conversation about cover work teaching today and managed to send off for a new DBS so hopefully that turns into something next week. 

[HarmonicGenerator]

That all sounds very encouraging Shy Dad, well done and good luck to you 😊

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Shy Dad said:

Will just have to go back to being funny all the time.

As everybody here, bar none, will attest, it's worked well for me.

Congrats on establishing a diagnosis, probably the first important step towards getting on top of things in any meaningful way. Best of luck to you.

[Vamp]

Made out with a good friend whose partner is highly vulnerable and shielding. 

I wasn't drunk. I do genuinely like her. I am a dickhead.