Hugh Thesz Posted March 31, 2020 Share Posted March 31, 2020 My mates bother is a class A fuckwit; something that shall become apparent. He decided against calling experts to get rid of a wasps nest in his Mums garden. He decided to do it by himself. His plan was to take home a mail sack from the post office where he worked. He then attempted to dislodge the nest with a clothes pole hoping it would fall into the sack. Amazingly all did not go to plan as the nest fell onto the lawn. He was then rightly attacked by a bunch of pissed off Glaswegian wasps and ended up with arms that looked as if he had been splashed with Agent fucking Orange. Best of all is that when he attempted to run into the house his old dear locked the back door. The phrase 'how stupid can you fucking get' has no meaning to him    Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 I had a pet python 7 or 8 years ago. Lovely thing it was, probably 6 foot long and as gentle as a puppy until it came to feeding time when the fucking thing would leap at whatever defrosted rodent was hanging from my feeding tongues. Fascinating thing it was. A mate of mine is petrified of snakes and he decided one night, and whilst fully sober, that it might be worth trying to overcome his fear, considering how docile and lovely this snake was from my description. I open the tank doors and my mate is still being cautious and stood at the other side of the room, not taking any chances. I says to him "Look, he's never bitten before, he's lovely" as on cue this fucking snake slingshots itself out of the tank, gob open. I had to catch it mid-air like Brendan Fraser in The Mummy Returns when that lass chucks the black mamba at him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 Happened again twice since my original post. This time he had me pinned down in my van like Cujo. Two customers didn't get their mail because of this little cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted April 6, 2020 Paid Members Share Posted April 6, 2020 16 hours ago, Mr_Danger said: Happened again twice since my original post. This time he had me pinned down in my van like Cujo. Two customers didn't get their mail because of this little cunt. Why didn't you kick him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted April 6, 2020 Share Posted April 6, 2020 I don't get paid enough to fight animals plus the last time I kicked a bird etc etc. I was too scared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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