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Lord-Mountevans

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I never post a topic on here because of the cliquishness & at times vicious nature around the UKFF (& the fact that i am deemed a "Dolt") but am aware with topics like the "Mental Health" thread, that there are a LOT of good people around here. People who through their love of wrestling genuinely care about folk that they may have never met, but are happy to give out good advice & kind words.

So... Instead of trying to bring back down votes, why not come on this thread to share any problems you have with Social Isolation. Smother people with "Likes" & words of encouragement? "A problem shared, is a problem halved" & all that.

I suppose i best start with my own problem. My wife works in the Health Industry & after discovering symptoms of the virus decided to immediately ring work & self isolate the whole house. The city in which we live has so far only had one case of the virus (as of Friday, i think?). So as she was on the phone waiting to contact a colleague, i tried to point out that at the stage it is unlikely to be anything more than a common cold & that she was effectively cancelling two Mother's Day celebrations & stopping two other people in the house going to work. 

I was really concerned about any financial implications of our household because i did not have the full knowledge of the government guidelines towards pay. i.e. We could have all been put on SSP rather than the subsidised pay the government is offering & felt it was something we should at least look into before committing then & there to self isolation? This is when things went from bad to worse.

My wife put her hand in my face & told me to "just shut up", when i tried to point out she was not even taking a few minutes to think about the situation & was acting like this purely on instinct, much to my shock, she physically assaulted me with punches!

We are currently ignoring each other in separate parts of the house & my son (who has a poor relationship with his Mother) has not spoken to her (on Mother's day) of all days. Is a divorce on the cards after this has blown over? I really do not know, but it does not look good :(

So there you go guys & gals. I have laid down my cards. It would be nice if nobody takes the piss, but i reckon that if i can put up with the last two days at home (& the next 12 on isolation) then a bit of "bantz" on here is the least of my troubles.

Edited by Lord-Mountevans
grammar

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Good shout Monty and fair play to you starting this thread on this forum of all places. That shows tremendous mental fortitude. 

Good thread to vent. My own mental health has vaccilated over the last week. Sometimes I'm completely at peace with it and eager to enjoy the acres of time to dedicate to hobbies, sometimes I'm anxious about the unknown length of it all. I really do recommend mindfulness exercises to escape momentarily and put your feet back on the ground. 

Hobby wise I'm getting back into watercolours, the keyboard and seeing if I can actually grow facial hair. 

Edited by Onyx2

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4 minutes ago, Onyx2 said:

...and seeing if I can actually grow facial hair. 

I can lend you some for very reasonable rates.

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I think at times like these it is important to remember that people are carrying around a large amount of stress and worry. Maybe your wife has been more effected by this than she has let on and the merest chance she could have it has been too much for her to deal with. 

The physical attack could be pure panic and needed to lash out. The government guidelines are to isolate the whole house if any one shows any symptoms of the virus so extra caution on her part may be understandable. I don't kmow your financial situation and obviously everyone fears the worst in regards to income so that is a genuine worry. Mentioning the cancelling of mothers day seems a bit crass to me in the wider picture. 

I really hope you and your wife resolve this, I would suggest having a open and honest conversation, she may be as confused and hurt as you are. 

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2 minutes ago, Joe Blog said:

I think at times like these it is important to remember that people are carrying around a large amount of stress and worry. Maybe your wife has been more effected by this than she has let on and the merest chance she could have it has been too much for her to deal with. 

The physical attack could be pure panic and needed to lash out. The government guidelines are to isolate the whole house if any one shows any symptoms of the virus so extra caution on her part may be understandable. I don't kmow your financial situation and obviously everyone fears the worst in regards to income so that is a genuine worry. Mentioning the cancelling of mothers day seems a bit crass to me in the wider picture. 

I really hope you and your wife resolve this, I would suggest having a open and honest conversation, she may be as confused and hurt as you are. 

Thank you

She is definitely feeling the strain. I think it is a case of just slowly trying to mend bridges between ourselves (her & our son's relationship is more out of my hands).

The Mother's Day comment was just the first thing that came to mind when she decided to immediately contacted her work. I was thinking of all different implications at 100MPH  & that was just one of them. I fully understand about more important nature of doing the right thing. It was just how it came out "in the moment".

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29 minutes ago, johnnyboy said:

I can lend you some for very reasonable rates.

I can smell the pubes from here. 

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When you feel like your family's life is at stake and one of them seems more concerned about an arbitrary date on the calendar being "ruined," it's not hard to imagine the emotional reaction being hard to articulate beyond needing to slap some sense into them.

I'm sure it was a breaking point moment rather than something she feels she has a right to do whenever she's upset, so in this particular instance I reckon it's more important to understand what led to it than feeling obligated to punish her for having the cheek.

(I'm aware that if the gender roles were reversed I'd likely be singing a different tune, but, well, they're not, and it doesn't sound like she cracked your orbital socket.)

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I mentioned this elsewhere and @Onyx2 (cheers) pointed me in this threads direction. I’m in a bit of a dark place this weekend.

My daughter is 3 and goes to nursery, she’s mint, as is her nursery.
I am a key worker and will be expected to work for as long as I can with our homeless groups in the North East. The typical workshops I run with them have now closed, but my team will be taking out food parcels, essentials etc to the homeless people in question. 
Due to being a key worker, it means my daughter can still technically go to nursery. I don’t have family, let alone healthy ones in the region to take over her primary parenting/care. It also obviously means my team aren’t being told to work from home, so no pay outs if I choose to simply not go in, as far as I can tell. 

I’m terrified, I won’t lie. I have no fucking clue at this stage what the right thing to do is anymore, my head is utterly battered. 
Ideal world while this is all going on: 
I lock us both in the house and keep everyone safe. I get paid to be/work at home. 
Reality: The opposite.

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12 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

I mentioned this elsewhere and @Onyx2 (cheers) pointed me in this threads direction. I’m in a bit of a dark place this weekend.

My daughter is 3 and goes to nursery, she’s mint, as is her nursery.
I am a key worker and will be expected to work for as long as I can with our homeless groups in the North East. The typical workshops I run with them have now closed, but my team will be taking out food parcels, essentials etc to the homeless people in question. 
Due to being a key worker, it means my daughter can still technically go to nursery. I don’t have family, let alone healthy ones in the region to take over her primary parenting/care. It also obviously means my team aren’t being told to work from home, so no pay outs if I choose to simply not go in, as far as I can tell. 

I’m terrified, I won’t lie. I have no fucking clue at this stage what the right thing to do is anymore, my head is utterly battered. 
Ideal world while this is all going on: 
I lock us both in the house and keep everyone safe. I get paid to be/work at home. 
Reality: The opposite.

I wish i could offer a solution.

The worrying thing is that everyone is dealt individual problems. Some will profit from the current situation, some will take full advantage of opportunities that arise as times moves on & many will suffer at different points, for many different reasons.

It's scary to think that if you did what you wanted to do, you could end up on the other side of your counter, being homeless &  accepting food parcels!

I guess like a lot of people, all you can do is play it by ear & do what's best for you & your daughter in the short term, hoping the long term solution will become apparent later?

Sorry to hear this, it's put my tale of woe into perspective.

 

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