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Just found out the wife is a complete wrong'un but also can't stop laughing at her. 

She just revealed that today for the first time she wiped her arse whilst sitting down on the toilet. Prior to this she's wiped her arse her whole life while standing completely upright. Fucking wiping your arse while standing upright. Bloody weirdo. 

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I sometimes think this forum is an interesting, smart place, and then I realise we're literally spending years toilet-training one member. 

Facing your house.

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2 minutes ago, Divorced Dad said:

Just found out the wife is a complete wrong'un but also can't stop laughing at her. 

She just revealed that today for the first time she wiped her arse whilst sitting down on the toilet. Prior to this she's wiped her arse her whole life while standing completely upright. Fucking wiping your arse while standing upright. Bloody weirdo. 

I am also a stander upper...

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Just now, Divorced Dad said:

Sitting down but leaning forwards slightly. Gives you the room to wipe and cos you're sitting down your arse cheeks are spread so you can get a good wipe. 

You know you can bend forward (even further) standing up, yes?

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Standing up while wiping seems super inconvenient. Do you have to use one hand to separate your arse cheeks?

Not only do I not stand up, I’ve never even heard of that being a thing. I’m incredibly uncomfortable with this.

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8 minutes ago, Uncle Zeb said:

Just so I can get a clear picture as I stare into the abyss, when you stander-uppers are in a public convenience, which way round to you stand in the cubicle while you wipe?

Nobody respectable shits in public. That's such a sit down wiper thing to do. Probably right before they go off to sniff a bike seat. 

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1 minute ago, Devon Malcolm said:

This discussion should be null and void right now anyway considering the bog roll situation.

I guess the correct answer this day and age is dragging your arse across the ground like a dog. 

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