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Food Rules


Lion_of_the_Midlands
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On the back of the last post in the twitter thread where a woman has put pasta and gravy together, which is an abomination by the way, what are the other food rules that you would never break?

We have quite a few in our house and I will tell you a story to illustrate several at once. 

Last year when we were having a new kitchen we went for a carvery one Sunday. We invited my half brother, let's call him Dave, because that's his name. It was your traditional carvery style, choice of beef, pork, turkey, and gammon plus an assortment of veg. Dave chooses to gave 3 of the meats, beef, turkey, and gammon. The veg he had was mashed potato, roast potato, carrots, cauliflower cheese, plus a yorkshire pudding. Topped off with beef gravy. 

The other three of us watched this in a stunned horror, because for us he had broken several food rules. 

1. You dont have those 3 meats together, in fact more than one meat is unacceptable. 

2. You dont have mashed potato with gammon

3. You dont have cauliflower cheese with beef or turkey. 

4. You dont have cauliflower cheese with gravy. 

5. The only roast you have Yorkshire pudding with is beef. 

6. You dont have gravy with gammon. 

We dont invite Dave to the carvery with us any more. 

I am prepared to die on all of those hills. So do you have food rules you will not break? 

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25 minutes ago, Egg Shen said:

rule 1 is bollocks for a start

What gravy are you putting with your three different meats then Egg? Gammon doesn't have gravy at all, and pork and beef gravy taste very different. If they dont then you are doing gravy wrong. Beef gravy doesn't go with pork and pork gravy doesn't go with beef. 

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The only rule I've got is never pour soup over the rest of your food like it's a sauce. I've seen a bunch of folk do it in the staff canteen at work and it's.....just fucking weird. Not even tomato soup either. We're talking Leek and Potato or Cauliflower and Broccoli poured all over stuff like breaded cod or pork loin.

Other than that, and folk being cunts about allergies, then I'm really not bothered.

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9 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

What gravy are you putting with your three different meats then Egg? Gammon doesn't have gravy at all, and pork and beef gravy taste very different. If they dont then you are doing gravy wrong. Beef gravy doesn't go with pork and pork gravy doesn't go with beef. 

which is where things get complicated because i agree with rule 6.

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Plus it’s a fucking carvery. The Jeremy Kyle of eating out. As Chest said, it’s a fucking buffet. You can go to one of those world buffet places and have sweet and sour and madras on the same plate if you wish, same rules apply for any buffet. 

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2 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said:

It really doesn’t matter. They both go with each other. It’s gravy. 
Do you have separate gravy for vegetables as well then?

"It doesn't matter its gravy." You must have taste buds like a tramps bathroom carpet. The gravy is the key part. You use the juices of the meat in the gravy to tie everything else together.  That way when you are having your vegetables you still have the hint of meat taste in the background. 

 

2 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

You can go to one of those world buffet places and have sweet and sour and madras on the same plate if you wish, same rules apply for any buffet. 

Definitely fucking not. Why would you do that. I'd never eat chinese and indian food together. 

As for buffets dont get me started. I was at a buffet before Christmas and the sandwiches were all like this. Who the fuck is eating sandwiches like that and who thinks that is acceptable. 

 

20191218_123907.jpg

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