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Stupid things you routinely do or say


gmoney

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8 hours ago, BomberPat said:

I used to live near a street called Leonard Terrace, and the street sign had a painted picture of a barn owl on it. Every time I walked past it with my then-girlfriend, I'd point to it and say, "that owl's called Leonard Terrace". 

Every time I have a Ploughman's sandwich, I have to say, "I'm just having a Ploughman's sandwich. He'll be furious when he finds out". My ex found it so irritating that I'd quite often go out of my way to choose that particular sandwich just to wind her up. It also works just as well with Shepherd's Pie and, if you're really prepared to work for it, "Goat's Cheese Sandwich".

Similarly, if I get a bottle of water from M&S, it says "Still Scottish Water" on it, which allows me to say, "hang on, just need to check if this is Scottish. Yep, still Scottish water". 

Are you my Dad?

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When people say “see you tomorrow “ I can’t stop myself replying “God willing” or “lest the good lord take me in the night” which is both annoying and confusing to people who know I’m atheist.

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Father in law drives my missus up the wall. Anytime we're in his car, just before he reverses - "aahhhh, this takes me back". Whenever an emergency vehicle whizzes by with sirens blaring - "he'll never sell any ice cream going that speed".

He's the best.

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2 hours ago, Wretch said:

Father in law drives my missus up the wall. Anytime we're in his car, just before he reverses - "aahhhh, this takes me back". Whenever an emergency vehicle whizzes by with sirens blaring - "he'll never sell any ice cream going that speed".

He's the best.

I've been known to busy out the Ice Cream/Emergency services crack now and again. Good old Morecambe & Wise. 

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2 hours ago, Wretch said:

Father in law drives my missus up the wall. Anytime we're in his car, just before he reverses - "aahhhh, this takes me back". Whenever an emergency vehicle whizzes by with sirens blaring - "he'll never sell any ice cream going that speed".

He's the best.

My dad's favourite is when a police vehicle's blaring past, he'll say "Ah, he's late for his lunch".

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