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Chest Rockwell

Petty Revenge Stories

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I got dicked about in my old job and had to help out with call centre work/had to stay on some later shifts. During my last couple of weeks there and on one night doing a later shift I decide to get a drawing board pin and poke holes in all the cups for the water cooler. Not just the ones in the cup holder. The whole massive box of them. Hundreds and hundreds of cups. I thoroughly enjoyed watching water piss everywhere anytime someone decided to get a drink.

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I had to go to court the other day for something to do with my job, and the barrister dealing with the case was an awful dismissive cunt when I tried to talk to him outside beforehand to ensure our thing went quickly, as it was being put back for a few months anyway as his client was doing an unrelated 2 or 3 year sentence. Usually the legal lads are glad of this cos it means they can head off to another court and get paid for another case. I sat down next to him at the benches near the front and he tapped away on his laptop looking very important until the case was called. I got up and said my one sentence to the judge about it, and then he got up and spoofed on for about 20 mins with the outcome being the same as if he'd just got on with it.

While sitting there I noticed his laptop was plugged in and charging, and even though it was charging the battery light was flashing orange indicating to me that the battery was probably fecked. So I decided to turn the power switch on the socket off and see what happened, and sure enough the laptop shut off near instantly. I like to think he was working on something important and hadn't had time to save it before he got up to do his grandstanding. Needless to say I had the last laugh!

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The priest who married my brother and his wife is a particularly smug and annoying tosser who is obsessed with the finery (read: pretensions) of the church. I'm not particularly religious, and I do love a petty revenge story, so I ruffled all his garments and robes and moved various chalices around "backstage" before the wedding. I think they call it a sacristy. 

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