Bad pub guide 2019

[cobra_gordo]

23 hours ago, PunkStep said:

The Norfolk Arms, Sheffield.

That's pretty much known as one of the roughest pubs in town. It allegedly had a brothel upstairs. Surprised by the thing about your black mates though as they had quite a lot of black customers, in particular the most terrifying drug dealer ever.

I'll add The Bag Inn in Rotherham to this, also known as Silverwood Miners Welfare Club. It looks like they may have had a refit but in it's day this was the shithole to end all shitholes. I went in once, around 1998 as a 13 year old as my dad wanted to take me along to their monthly auction night as there was a computer scanner up for sale that he thought I could find use for.

When we arrived there was a newish Jag on bricks outside with the windows smashed in- good start. We sat at the back because the old nutters at the front were spitting at each other and were managing to greb at each other across the room. When the auction started it became apparent the lots were a mix of any old shite the sellers had found in their shed that wouldn't be worthy of being sold at a car boot sale and stuff that had been blatantly nicked. Bags of golf balls and ironing boards mixed in amongst video players, tellys and the odd bit of computer gear. We bagged that scanner, which was brand new in an immaculate box for five quid seemingly because none of the other punters there had a fucking clue what it was. The auctioneer was a bit of a cunt too. One woman won a lot and he said "Congratulations, you've won a bundle of {whatever piece of shit she'd bought}, this ironing board and this canoe paddle" and if she didn't take it all she couldn't have what she'd won in the first place.

Fuck knows what the beer prices were, £1.20 for Smiths would be a fair guess. And I can only hope they didn't do food.

Edited June 25, 2019 by cobra_gordo

[SuperBacon]

1 hour ago, tiger_rick said:

Went in a pub near Portsmouth (forget what the Village was called) a year or so ago that advertised a meat raffle. That a thing in the South? Never seen it outside of Lancashire and darkest Dewsbury.

There’s a pub near me that does a meat raffle, so yeah it’s infiltrated the South. They’ll also at random times of the day come out and put bowls of roast potatoes on the bar.

It’s a good pub.

[Sergio Mendacious]

31 minutes ago, cobra_gordo said:

That's pretty much known as one of the roughest pubs in town. It allegedly had a brothel upstairs. Surprised by the thing about your black mates though as they had quite a lot of black customers, in particular the most terrifying drug dealer ever.

They only liked the bad ones

[Cod Eye]

13 hours ago, Daaaaaad! said:

Not so long ago I was fortunate enough to visit The South Yorkshire in Mexborough. If you want to know what Mexborough is like, a quick Google suggests that the best place to visit in Mexborough is 'Conisbrough Castle' - which, unsurprisingly, is actually in neighbouring Conisbrough. Anyway, some of my wife's family were getting together so we were invited along to this venue. A warning sign should've been that you could book the entire pub out on a Saturday night - not a function room, the actual pub - with no deposit. It soon became apparent why when there was a noticeable leak in the roof as we sat down, and the loo did not have an operational flush as they looked more like they had been installed prior to that particular function being added to toilets.

Crap karaoke was a staple of this particular evening - crapper still when you note that the only person participating was the "DJ" (and I use that term loosely) who would occasionally come down from her perch above the seats to sing songs nobody had ever heard of incredibly badly. Naturally, the beer on offer was also awful and consisted of multiple terrible lagers, all of which essentially were the same piss. We foolishly dared to try and have a game of pool, only to discover all of the cues were missing their tips and there were more yellow balls than red. That, plus for the four or five locals that were actually in the pub at the time, the decision to actually use this table was seen as some sort of declaration of war, resulting in stares, grumbles and general 'not from round here' chatter throughout.

 Amusingly, we had friends from down south staying with us that weekend who'd been encouraged to 'just come along, the more the merrier'. I don't think she trusted us to take them anywhere after a couple of hours in this establishment.

EDIT: on looking for a picture it seems at least half of the building has a flat roof:

 

Ahhh, the good 'ol South Yorkshire in Mexborough! Only been in once as it was a work colleague's regular and it was his birthday. As soon as you walk in you get everyone staring at you as your not a local, and the beer is as bad as Daaaaaad! says. We actually got barred from there after an hour as a mate won the jackpot on the fruit machine, and doubled up on the repeater. He won £30, and the bar man demanded he pay £15 into a glass behind the bar to pay for the regulars beers when they were skint. Apparently, it was a sort of "tax" they ran*. Of course we refused and were quickly kicked out and barred. Thank fuck!

we did ask the lad we worked with, and according to him it was a bit of a scam they ran with "strangers". Lovely place. 

[BomberPat]

Supplementary question:

What are the key indicators of a bad pub? What, even if the place had no customers in it, would just scream "shit pub" the moment you walk through the door, or just from the signage outside?

[SuperBacon]

18 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Supplementary question:

What are the key indicators of a bad pub? What, even if the place had no customers in it, would just scream "shit pub" the moment you walk through the door, or just from the signage outside?

“No WiFi: in here we TALK to each other”

[Lorne Malvo]

18 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Supplementary question:

What are the key indicators of a bad pub?

Pubs with that white paint job (the same style as the South Yorkshire seen earlier in the thread) are almost always shit. Also see The Castle, about 20 minutes drive away from me.

I used to work a 2 minute walk away from here, in beautiful Dudley town centre. I'd walk past on my dinner break and I'd hear karaoke being belted out every single day. The same people belting out the same songs. Me and a few mates eventually went in on a Saturday out of curiosity. There was a fight between two men who must've both been in their 80s, one of whom was also the most obese person I've ever seen. After the fight the fat lad sat down and fell asleep - I'm guessing this was a regular occurence as nobody looked arsed.. My mate put a few songs on the Jukey for £2, and about 30 seconds into the first song the barmaid who looked hard as fuck turned it off and said 'none of that shit in here'. I think she was referring to Arctic Monkeys but can't be too sure. He didn't get his money back. The beer was flat as fuck too. We got 5 minutes into a game of killer and got told to hurry up as the regulars would soon be in to play pool.

On the way out a lad stopped us in the corridor, told us he'd had a fight in the chicken place next door, and was going home to get his axe.

We went in again the next Saturday.

[Kaz Hayashi]

49 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Supplementary question:

What are the key indicators of a bad pub? What, even if the place had no customers in it, would just scream "shit pub" the moment you walk through the door, or just from the signage outside?

If they serve food - it’s bad.

If you can win food to cook at home - it’s good.

[Tamura]

Closed now thankfully, but Big Lil's in Leeds deserves a mention in any thread about awful pubs. The entrance alley alone was enough to deter most people from venturing in. It was the kind of place where you were searched for weapons on the way in, and if you're weren't carrying one you weren't allowed in for your own safety. The police had been trying to get it shut down for years, but the tipping point came in August 2003...

One of the regulars was drinking in there one day when his ex-wife came in with another man. The landlord and the bouncer decided to have a £5 bet as to whether they could get the regular to attack his ex-wife's new lover, and goaded him until he did. When he did kick off the landlord and the bouncer dragged the regular into the alley outside while using a chokehold to render him unconscious, then kicked and stamped on his head resulting in his death minutes later due to skull fractures and brain damage. All because of a £5 bet!

After being derelict for years it's been completely refurbished and is now the rather welcoming Headrow House, I saw Lemuria and Colour Me Wednesday there last year and couldn't believe the difference.

[wordsfromlee]

My local terrible pub is the Rock & Fountain. Headquarters of the infamous football firm, the EBF (English Border Front).

I have never actually had a pint in there as after seeing some guy get their head caved in with a pool cue on the pavement outside put me off a bit. The only time I've been tempted to go was when they were trying to raise money for one of the regulars nephews' who needed some specialist cancer treatment abroad. They were hosting a Danny Dyer meet and greet. By the sound of it, you paid £25 to get into the pub and could then spend the night drinking with Dyer. Which makes the place even worse as all the regulars seem to idolise him (at least his character in Football Factory). It never went ahead in the end.

My favourite bit about the pub is that they still brag about their one and only entry in the Good Beer Guide... in 1975.

[PowerButchi]

7 hours ago, wordsfromlee said:

My local terrible pub is the Rock & Fountain. Headquarters of the infamous football firm, the EBF (English Border Front).

I have never actually had a pint in there as after seeing some guy get their head caved in with a pool cue on the pavement outside put me off a bit. The only time I've been tempted to go was when they were trying to raise money for one of the regulars nephews' who needed some specialist cancer treatment abroad. They were hosting a Danny Dyer meet and greet. By the sound of it, you paid £25 to get into the pub and could then spend the night drinking with Dyer. Which makes the place even worse as all the regulars seem to idolise him (at least his character in Football Factory). It never went ahead in the end.

My favourite bit about the pub is that they still brag about their one and only entry in the Good Beer Guide... in 1975.

I'd always thought Shrewsbury was a nice day out as well. I think I've been there to the Rock once. As you're coming out of the railway station turn right and keep going past the Albion (ugh) for about 5-10 mins on foot? Massive tellys in there? If it is where I think they proper were displeased when I asked the woman behind the bar to give me a top up of bitter as it had a massive head. Went for a fag around the back, and our Welsh/Scouse accents gave us away as Wrexham, and we got evils.

Edited June 26, 2019 by PowerButchi

[wordsfromlee]

10 hours ago, PowerButchi said:

I'd always thought Shrewsbury was a nice day out as well. I think I've been there to the Rock once. As you're coming out of the railway station turn right and keep going past the Albion (ugh) for about 5-10 mins on foot? Massive tellys in there? If it is where I think they proper were displeased when I asked the woman behind the bar to give me a top up of bitter as it had a massive head. Went for a fag around the back, and our Welsh/Scouse accents gave us away as Wrexham, and we got evils.

Yeah, that’s the one. If you’re Wrexham, you’re lucky to have got away with just evils and not a head kicking. 

Its a bizarre place as the only people who drink in there are EDL members and posties. 

[bigfoote]

On 6/25/2019 at 10:35 AM, tiger_rick said:

Went in a pub near Portsmouth (forget what the Village was called) a year or so ago that advertised a meat raffle. That a thing in the South? Never seen it outside of Lancashire and darkest Dewsbury.

Pompey native here, yeah it's a thing if you stray beyond the 'spoons and the like. If you're really lucky, you'll be offered tickets even if you aren't a local.

 

As for bad pubs, local Tory government and rising prices means a lot of them have been sold off for flats. My nomination, now demolished and turned into a One Stop, The Fox

Flat roof, bucket of half cues by the lager-soaked and threadbare pool table. Smack in the middle of a housing estate. You had a huge choice. Carlsberg draught, Carlsberg bottle, Carlsberg Export bottle, Stella bottle, Strongbow can, or John Smiths gassed to within an inch of it's life.

Food selection from the good company of Smiths, or Walkers if the multipacks were on offer at ASDA.

Yup...it was, as my father would have said, a working mans' pub. By which he meant it was filled with pensioners during the day, and from about 5.30, "manual labourers". Secure footwear was required, the carpet was original and pristine under the stickiness. Pissers were a literal trough into a hole, and you knew what day of the week it was by which fruity was paying out.

[chokeout]

1 hour ago, bigfoote said:

Pompey native here, yeah it's a thing if you stray beyond the 'spoons and the like. If you're really lucky, you'll be offered tickets even if you aren't a local.

 

As for bad pubs, local Tory government and rising prices means a lot of them have been sold off for flats. My nomination, now demolished and turned into a One Stop, The Fox

 

It's nice that they built a little wall around that magnificent beer garden 

[neil]

5 hours ago, bigfoote said:

Grim