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Wales vs Belgium is proven to be the best. Here's 19/20 for those with low standards

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I remember when I first moved to Liverpool in 2000. First the disappointment on how shit the TV reception was and how I was getting S4C in perfect picture but no ch4 or Five. Then I discovered Sgorio. I think they had La Liga, Serie A and Bundesliga highlight rights at the time. It was fucking amazing.

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I was genuinely excited when he joined us. Sweden were considered one of the best teams in the world and it seemed like a big deal. I have virtually no recollection of any of his performances for us.

Just reading up what he got up to after on Wiki, look at this!

When joining English side Sunderland for a record £4 million soon afterward leaving Valencia, the club inserted a "Space Clause" in his contract, that stated that if he were to travel into space his contract would become wholly invalid. 

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9 hours ago, IANdrewDiceClay said:

Stefan Schwarz is on the gear.

A younger, toned, Jerry Lawler.

9 hours ago, PunkStep said:

Just reading up what he got up to after on Wiki, look at this!

That comes up in the first episode of the new series of Quickly Kevin (the 90s football podcast).

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10 hours ago, PunkStep said:

I was genuinely excited when he joined us. Sweden were considered one of the best teams in the world and it seemed like a big deal. I have virtually no recollection of any of his performances for us. 

 

 

I remember his goal against Sampdoria in the cup winners cup and also the t-shirt I had of him from Blackbush Market. There was a brief spell when I loved him as a kid for some reason! 

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I remember meeting Schwarz at a school 5-a-side tournament at the Seaburn Centre when I was about 8. We were told he’d be coming to present the medals.

My team finished runners up. As he placed the cheap plastic medal over my head, I used my brief time in his presence to unknowingly exclaim ‚Äúyou‚Äôre not the real Stefan Schwarz!‚ÄĚ,¬†as if he was about to become my stepdad.

‚ÄĚYes, I am.‚ÄĚ replied the Swede as he hurriedly moved on to the next member of my team.

Turns out it he was the real Stefan Schwarz. Who knew...

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Remember the Walkers crisps when they had gimmicks, like Salt and Lineker, Chesse and Owen, Smokey Beckham etc. Did they ever release a Seaman flavoured one?*

*this joke was brought to you by the writers of Man About the House.

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On 3/23/2020 at 7:08 PM, Keith Houchen said:

Ok. Me and @Ralphy are planning a game of FIFA and I was wondering if I can stream it live on Twitch or whatever it is and would you be interested in watching a defensive masterclass in proper football?

Game One.

Not televised, unfortunately, but here is how it went.

Coventry were content to sit back and defend, which came as a massive surprise to everyone on planet earth.  West Brom were coming forward doing little spins and tricks and all that bollocks but with no shots on goal to speak of thanks to the patience on the defence (all 11 of them).  Cov started to move the ball about and created a gilt edge chance which Bakayoko channeled his inner Zamora and skied into the crowd.

However, Cov kept up the pressure and after some classic goalmouth pinball, the ball fell to Bayliss who slotted it into a gaping net like Batista into a diva.  41st minute and it was one nil to the Sky Blues.  Cov kept it tight and waited for the half time whistle.

Second half and West Brom kicked off, Coventry quickly won the ball back and passed it back to the keeper.  For the next ten minutes, Coventry passed the ball around the back four and the keeper and the frustrations were clearly growing among the Baggies.  Their striker whose name escapes me started sprinting round after the ball wherever it went as if he was a wrestling fan replying to female wrestlers on Twitter.  The Cov defence were wise to this however, and shielded the ball awaiting the inevitable sliding tackle from the frustrated opposition.  In the 57th minute it came.  A slider from behind meant it was a straight red card.  Baggies were a goal down and now a man down.

Baggies manager @Ralphy instantly made two changes, one of these was to bring on Hal Robson-Kanu who those in attendance couldn't believe wasn't played from the start.  He made an instant impact by getting sent off two minutes later after more possession play by the Sky Blues back four.  Like his predecessor, he charged in two footed and was hitting the showers quicker than Daniel Bryan after Seamus beat him at Mania.

Coventry used their two man advantage by venturing out of their half for the first time since the restart.  Some swift passing down the left flank was met by a lunging tackle and a yellow card for Brom.  From the resulting free kick, the ball was crossed in from the edge of the pitch.  The Bromwich defence were as mobile as Misawa in his last match and Bakayoko stole in between them to deliver a Houchenesque diving header into the corner of the goal.  It couldn't get any worse for the boys from the black country.

Actually, it could.

More frustration against the superb shithousery passing from the disciplined back four led to more flying off the ground than you'd see in AEW and it wasn't long until a third red card.  Coventry used the free kick to pass the ball around, stretching the beleaguered baggies like Lubbocks ringpiece.  A sweeping passing move ended with Bayliss grabbing a second with a volley from a Jones cross.  The game was over, Cov played out for the whistle like they had for the previous 60 minutes of the tie.  Brom were put out of their misery shortly after.

The Coventry manager revealed that after the game, the Bromwich manager sent him a DM asking which was the tackle button.  But he was trying to save face after losing discipline against the well oiled and well practiced defensive keep ball of the mighty sky blues. A win for proper football over spinny tricks and ponceball.

There is only one stat that matters, but here are ones that don't.

E2769FD6-A18F-4331-9150-112A8107FE2F

 Going to look at setting up Twitch or something so you can watch the next one.  All advice welcome.

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Just now, SuperBacon said:

0 yellow cards and 0 red cards? You absolute fraud @Keith Houchen

The art is to not just get them yourself, but guide the opposition into getting them.  It's destiny.  They can't do anything about it until it's too late, it's like the moment of death.  It's beautiful.

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5 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

The art is to not just get them yourself, but guide the opposition into getting them.  It's destiny.  They can't do anything about it until it's too late, it's like the moment of death.  It's beautiful.

Yep, the Robbie Savage gameplan

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11 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

The art is to not just get them yourself, but guide the opposition into getting them.  It's destiny.  They can't do anything about it until it's too late, it's like the moment of death.  It's beautiful.

Spurs do the same, but with goals.

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