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Utterly shit adverts


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5 hours ago, Nostalgia Nonce said:

My gym plays a breathy twee hipster version of Born To Be Wild.

It's one of the worst things I've ever heard, and I'm not to totally convinced it's not a piss take as the one thing it doesn't convey is that the singer feels that they are not only wild, but were born to be so.

Born To Be Mild, if you will.

@HarmonicGeneratoryeah, I hadn’t thought of John Lewis, I just remember seeing an ad for the Live Lounge and it seemingly just being all “stripped back” acoustic affairs, which is bullshit. It should be two artists exchange tracks, I want to hear Slayer having a crack at Shake It Off while Tay-Tay tackles War Ensemble 

Edited by WyattSheepMask
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The Plusnet adverts with @Onyx2 in.

Those fucking Nationwide adverts where members of the public read their shit self-penned poems into their camera phone.

Fucking this.  

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10 minutes ago, SuperBacon said:

The slow stripped down-breathy cover can be directly traced back to that fucking Gary Jules. It's absolutely all his fault.

See, I put it down to that fucking cover of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" that they used for some car advert. 

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3 hours ago, Carbomb said:

I've heard so many rants about this one. I haven't heard it myself, but I'm not surprised, given the breathy twee hipster versions of other songs. It's the current musical equivalent of "they're selling hippy wigs in Woolworths, man".

Just waiting for a breathy twee hipster version of Outhere Bros.' "Boom Boom Boom".

Animal by W*A*S*P*

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4 hours ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Animal by W*A*S*P*

No. 

Under no circumstances. No.

Mainly because - well mainly because it'll just be a pile of dribbly shit - but also because they'll undoubtedly change it to "Animal: Love Like a Beast".

Stinky, corduroy wearing cunts.

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I don’t think any one advert is more guilty than others, but all the adverts people have made hammering home either how different the world is because of the pandemic instead of just concentrating on the product/service. Really make me feel queasy how all their marketing dorks have decided we all need a comforting hug that everything’s ok and we’ll all pull together as long as we’re still buying what they’re flogging. Awful, all of them.

OK, Halifax.

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On 9/23/2020 at 1:46 PM, Carbomb said:

See, I put it down to that fucking cover of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" that they used for some car advert. 

Him getting Christmas number one over The Darkness caused all this mess. I worked in a local independent record shop when his album came out. We had a pretty stiff no refunds policy, but I took mercy on one poor bloke who told me he bought it but it was just shit. I refunded the fella, he'd been through enough.

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I was watching something this morning and a breathy twee guitar version of Is This Love by Bob Martley was playing over the final scene. This almost feels like it deserves its own thread, rather than polluting the bad adverts thread? 

Are we claiming the Gary Jules version of Mad World from Donnie Darko as patient zero of the shitstorm? 

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7 hours ago, wordsfromlee said:

One of the women from the overly earnest poems on the Nationwide adverts during lockdown showed up on Jonathan Ross’ Comedy Club on Saturday night and it gave me PTSD-style flashbacks when I saw her face. 

I worked for Nationwide for 6 years and feel compelled to bring up that I was always proud to say I did until the moment the DVD preview hit my branch of the Little Britain ads they did. Patronising and not funny. For a place that pushes the “we’re not a bank” rhetoric to the hilt, there is a point where it just comes across as smugness rather than making it come across as beneficial to the consumer.

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2 hours ago, jazzygeofferz said:

I was watching something this morning and a breathy twee guitar version of Is This Love by Bob Martley was playing over the final scene. This almost feels like it deserves its own thread, rather than polluting the bad adverts thread? 

Are we claiming the Gary Jules version of Mad World from Donnie Darko as patient zero of the shitstorm? 

 

I think it was case zero but the singing shows kept it popular. My other half has made me watch a lifetime of X-Factor, American Idol, TheVoice etc. These shows are built on singers doing cover versions every week so they have always been full of this breathy, one singer, one piano/guitar folky bollocks. Its usually because its Disco theme week and the singer has no range so they do an awful slow, breathy version of Daddy Cool and the judges proclaim them an artitistic genius for it. I've always pointed out how fucking lazy this is but usually get told to shut up.

 

I agree with people saying it was the John Lewis Christmas ads that really pushed it into overkill in the advert world. Those became Christmas "Events" that idiots look forward to every year.

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6 hours ago, Cousin Jim Bob said:

I agree with people saying it was the John Lewis Christmas ads that really pushed it into overkill in the advert world. Those became Christmas "Events" that idiots look forward to every year.

When what they really should be looking forward to is The Festive Bake!

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