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Accident Prone

What is your most trivial claim to fame?

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I auditioned for the part of Robert Carlyle's son in The Full Monty. I was in year 5 at junior school and the casting agents had contacted a load of schools around Rotherham and Sheffield. Nobody knew at this stage what the part was for, just that it was a film and me and a lad from the year below were picked from our school to audition as we were always in the school plays.

First audition was just a chat with Suzi Figgis the casting director where I spent most of the time trying to watch the Arsenal game that was going on on the tv over her shoulder. Passed that but the other kid didn't get through. Went back for another audition and had to do a screen test with Robert Carlyle infront of the director, producers and casting agents.

Trivial claim to fame within a trivial claim to fame is I asked the director what the film would be called, he said "We're thinking of calling it The Full Monty" and I said that was crap which got a laugh from the producers. He blatantly cut my push short after that, the bastard.

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I was a featured contributor on Dave Gorman's Genius in 2011. Mel Giedroyc and Dave Gorman said my idea was genius, whereas Chris Addison did not :(

I wrote a joke book of original material that made it to number 96 in the Amazon Christmas Chart, 2017.

I once bumped into Stu Francis in Weymouth, circa 1986.

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In an old episode of Neighbours, Toadfish is reading an issue of Powerslam where I'm listed in the results page.

So I exist in the same universe as Dub K.

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1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

Greg Dyke caught me pissing in his Koi carp pond aged 15

I hope he caught you because you were screaming about him cancelling wrestling, while having a slash in his pond. 

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I've been in the background of regional news reports twice, both reporting on University Clearing and deciding to come to the call-centre I was running. I'm also all over the livestream of the Bath Spa University Graduation ceremonies from Friday July 20 2018 that are still posted on Youtube.

 

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I got on ESPN before the Spurs v Newcastle game in 2012 right after Redknapp got away with it was acquitted of tax evasion and they were asking Spurs fans what we thought of the chances of him getting the England job, feelings on his job for us and if we thought he'd do well/wish him well etc - I said something they considered worthy of a soundbyte so my fat face was broadcasted to the nation.

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26 minutes ago, air_raid said:

I got on ESPN before the Spurs v Newcastle game in 2012 right after Redknapp got away with it was acquitted of tax evasion and they were asking Spurs fans what we thought of the chances of him getting the England job, feelings on his job for us and if we thought he'd do well/wish him well etc - I said something they considered worthy of a soundbyte so my fat face was broadcasted to the nation.

This reminds me of when I was interviewed in the queue outside of the Skydome before FWA British Uprising III. I was around 17 years old and wearing my C-Z-FUCKIN-DUB tshirt, so it was easy to spot the indy wank lad in the line. 

The camera guy waltzed up to me and asked what I was looking forward to and I blurted out "AJ STYLES!". For some baffling reason, I put on an america accent. No idea why, don't ask, I honestly do not fucking know.

The camera guy quickly tried to save it by asking, "Oh, you mean the thirty minute Iron Man match between AJ Styles and James Tighe?"

"YEAH!" I replied , leaving an awkward gap for the cameraman to ask, "So...who do you think is winning?".

By that point I had committed to the yank twang, and just gave it my best. 

"Oh, AJ aaaallll the way!".

The camera guy quickly bailed and headed to the lads behind me who were loudly chanting for Spud in their regular British accents. "We're here to see Spud! Spuuudddd!!!" they excitedly acclaimed, as my brother and Dad took the absolute piss out of me (and they still do to this day).

It's not a proper 'claim to fame' though, as I haven't seen the DVD or the special features so I have no idea if my faux-American arse-backwards self made it on there. It's probably made some private blooper reel though.

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My grandad plumbed in Norman Wisdom's toilet to the mains. Until that point, he'd been using a cess pit in his garden. Probably fell in it loads, all covered in shit, hollering "Mr. Grimsdale!"

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Two things that both happened at Leeds Festival 2002:

1- Andrew WK came down to the front row barricade and gave me the microphone to finish the song ‘Party Till You Puke’

2- Matt Bellamy threw a strop after I called him a cunt when he started to kick up a fuss about Muse’s Meet & Greet starting 5 minutes late because Andrew WK had such a long queue

Honourable mentions:

I appeared in part of Channel 4’s Peep Show Night and I also run the world’s only podcast focused on Oz, which has the full backing of Tom Fontana, the show’s creator

Edited by WyattSheepMask

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37 minutes ago, Astro Hollywood said:

My grandad plumbed in Norman Wisdom's toilet to the mains. Until that point, he'd been using a cess pit in his garden. Probably fell in it loads, all covered in shit, hollering "Mr. Grimsdale!"

I never even looked up what a Cess Pit actually was. The more you know.

Other Lame to Fame stories I had forgotten was I was interviewed by Edith Bowmen on the live stream of the Tron Legacy premier and I used to serve Matt Zimmerman (the voice of Alan Tracey in original Thunderbirds) fags at the kiosk at Sainsbury's in Newbury Park, East London, back in the early 00's.

Marlboro Lights if you are interested.

 

Edited by Hannibal Scorch

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My novelty Rachel Riley Instagram account (@RudeRiley) was featured on The Poke and The Daily Mail website.

Helped my mate interview Dave Bautista over the phone while ridiculously stoned one night.

Kicked David Beckham's car after meeting him at Old Trafford. It was a couple of weeks after he had scored that goal from the halfway line.

Helped build and set up some guitars for various famous musicians.

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