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Astro Hollywood

Actors Who Ruin Your Telly

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You know how it goes, you're watching something and enjoying it, then "oh no, not this cunt."

For me, it's Danny bloody Mays.

Dads-Army-Line-Of-Duty-actor-Daniel-Mays

Whatever you're watching, whatever the tone, Mays showing up means there's one character behaving like he's in a Panto, doing the 'acting' equivalent of stamping his feet for the audience to clap along to. "Shall I?!"

Back when Channel 4 did the Red Riding Trilogy, it was advertised for weeks with all these heavy, self-important trailers about what a deeply powerful show it was. Warren Clarke sat in a chair with his arms folded saying things like "this is the bollocks" all serious, swearing so you knew he meant business. Though it was pretty bad, they did a great job at setting an atmosphere, super grim and grotty, and leaving you feeling like you needed a shower while you watched. Then Mays turns up in a police interview room, as a 'special needs' suspect, behaving like you would've in the 80's if someone told you to do an impression of Joey Deacon. I swear he even pushed out his bottom lip with his tongue.

I'm currently working my way through Line of Duty for the first time on Netflix, and he's turned up in S3, behaving like a Bond villain. And not a modern, gritty, Daniel Craig villain; a Roger Moore one; some bloke whose freezer exploded and now he's got sprouts embedded in his face, threatening to fill Big Ben with farts unless he gets a million quid.

Who ruins your telly and films?

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As soon as I saw you'd made this thread, I knew you'd be talking about Daniel Mays!

He's not good, is he. Amazing he gets so much work after Ashes to Ashes. Absolutely the pits in The Limehouse Golem.

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This gaping cunt.

Jason_Mantzoukas-750x430.jpg

He's a "comedian" who does "crazy" parts in US sitcoms, and is always the shittest actor in the room.  He was annoyingly regular in The League, and all the worst plot lines revolved around his character.

Then he turned up in Brooklyn 99 doing essentially the same "ho ho unhinged psychopath" routine.  And now he's the embarrassing skid mark on the otherwise near-flawless brilliance of The Good Place.

Need someone to do crazy eyes and shout until spittle forms?  Jason Mantzoukas is your guy.

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He's a bit one note but I like him anyway. He's a good voice actor and I like the movie podcast he does. Also your opinion is completely invalidated by calling Good Place 'flawless brilliance'. A laughable assessment of a really patchy show.

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I love Only Connect by I have to watch it through gritted teeth as I can't fucking stand Victoria Coren Mitchell. I hate her on every other show. Trying her hardest to not laugh at other peoples jokes.

Alice Lavine is a channel changer for me. Luckily she isn't on TV a whole lot.

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I saw some God awful trailer with Danny Mays in tonight so this thread is very timely. It was apparently a true story about some old Cornish cunts who go signed to a record deal by this massive cunt. I was genuinely open-mouthed at how awful it looked. Apparently based on a true story as well, presumably the story of how a record label cooked up a plan to sell a movie. 

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2 minutes ago, gmoney said:

I saw some God awful trailer with Danny Mays in tonight so this thread is very timely. It was apparently a true story about some old Cornish cunts who go signed to a record deal by this massive cunt. I was genuinely open-mouthed at how awful it looked. Apparently based on a true story as well, presumably the story of how a record label cooked up a plan to sell a movie. 

Fisherman's Friends. It does have Tuppence Middleton in it so I'll certainly Putlocker it at some point but it does look terrible.

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3 hours ago, Loki said:

This gaping cunt.

Jason_Mantzoukas-750x430.jpg

He's a "comedian" who does "crazy" parts in US sitcoms, and is always the shittest actor in the room.  He was annoyingly regular in The League, and all the worst plot lines revolved around his character.

Then he turned up in Brooklyn 99 doing essentially the same "ho ho unhinged psychopath" routine.  And now he's the embarrassing skid mark on the otherwise near-flawless brilliance of The Good Place.

Need someone to do crazy eyes and shout until spittle forms?  Jason Mantzoukas is your guy.

Hey Nong man. He has a great cameo in Ralph Breaks The Internet. But I liked him from Comedy Bang Bang so I have more tolerance of him.

Sean Bean. Wife beating, Sheffield United and all round cunt. Same in everything, ruins everything. I couldn't even watch Game of Thrones because he was in it. I just hate the guy.

Dom Jolly. Miserable sod and he had one (reasonably) funny thing 19 years ago and is still trying to do the same shit now. Just shit.

oh and anything that stars Mrs Brown. I know Brendon Caroll is supposed to be a nice guy but that character can get in the fucking sea  

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Davina McCall is remarkably bad at what she does. Cold, wooden and unlikable. When me lady watches her trying to be Cilla Black in that ITV show it's Tetris time for me.

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Tim Key. I don't care what any if you say, he's the worst thing on Midmorning Matters, the worst thing in the later series of Peep Show and a terrible contestant on Taskmaster. Looks like Badly Drawn Boy and is about as funny as his music was.

3 hours ago, wordsfromlee said:

I love Only Connect by I have to watch it through gritted teeth as I can't fucking stand Victoria Coren Mitchell. I hate her on every other show.

Ugh, she's horribly smug. I like her husband, but my god imagine being one half of that relationship? About as cold and emotionless as Lance Storm writing an obituary.

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James Baxter is fucking shite, cant act to save his life, isnt funny in the slightest and he comes from round our way, so I was brought up to hate my own. My Dad used to work with his Dad years back, and always refers to him as "fucking Baxter's son" when he pops up on anything. Useless bastard/

Even though the chances of seeing him on telly are slim, if I ever see Syd Little my dick crawls into my ball bag. Always hated him since I was a kid. He looks like someone with no spine. Stealing a living. Bullied by his peers. Has the distinction of never saying anything funny ever. He wasnt even really a straight man. Just a bloke who stood there shit scared to say anything out of place in fear Eddie Large would cut the legs off his trousers so he'd have to walk home (Eddie's taking the car) in his pants.

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