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The 2019 Royal Rumble (s) Surprise Entrant Pool

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Fresh from winning I'm a celeb its harry Redknapp. He drives down in his car and winds the window partley down and mentioned that he has signed up my second pick 

Niko kranjar 

Who quickly gets eliminated and harry drives off 

For my final pick I'll go with lady gaga 

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We're 17 entrants into the Women's Royal Rumble. Sasha Banks has been valiantly battling against everyone since she entered at number 1. Eventually clearing the ring just in time for the next entrant. The countdown appears.












No music plays. Sasha stands in the ring with a confused look on her face as nobody makes their way down the ramp. Starting to get impatient, Sasha goes to leave the ring when all of a sudden the lights go out.

The arena is shrouded in DARKness for what feels like an eternity, but is actually about 15 seconds.

The lights turn back on, the crowd look on in stunned silence as Sasha is still looking up the ramp for the next entrant, little does she know that entrant 18 is stood right behind her. She turns around and comes face to face with...



Dark Bayley then does all the shit usual Bayley does and gets eliminated. Sasha doesn't win the Rumble either.

Edited by neil is brill

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Number one and two have eliminated each other.



But ...he can't rest in his laurels...

Riding the current wave of cross over media breakouts he is on - entrant number 4 is....

YouTuber and Strictly Come Dancing Finalist Joe Sugg!!! He's pissed Kevin lead Stacey Dooley to the Glitterball trophy. He wants revenge! Unfortunately he's not built to fight and, despite a flurry of offence using his selfie stick and some bedazzled spats is quickly disposed of by the Clif-master General. Kevin makes it all the way to final two, slinking past people with smooth dance steps and mesmerising moves

Entrant number 30 is..... *Cut backstage* R-Truth is laid out. Who could it be....it's...it's...




He plays sweet chin music which is a hit even Kevin can't keep time to and he's your winner!!

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Apologies for the lack of pictures!

1st pick:

Entrant no 1 into the Rumble is Dolph Ziggler, who grabs the mic and cuts a promo about how he's going to win it, no-one can beat him, etc. Just as everyone prepares for another Jericho return, the lights cut out except for a single spotlight. Michael Cole grabs his script as someone shuffles out from the back and into the light. Cole screams...

But who is this creature with terrible claws
And terrible teeth in his terrible jaws?
He has knobbly knees, and turned-out toes,
And a poisonous wart at the end of his nose.
His eyes are orange, his tongue is black,
He has purple prickles all over his back.

"Oh help! Oh no!


The Gruffalo then eats Dolph Ziggler being eliminated in a display of how strong Cesaro is by being gorilla-pressed to the outside by the Swiss Cyborg.


2nd Pick:

Tatanka. He's got to be in it again one day...


3rd Pick:

R-Truth enters at Number 30 and is promptly eliminated by Big E, the clock mysteriously starts counting down again, to a shock 31st entrant. Again the lights cut out - is it the Undertaker? Bray Wyatt? Maybe the Gruffalo working a different gimmick? A shadowy figure emerges into the lights...

Looking a little bit like Erick Rowan beard-wise, but with a buzzcut rather than bald... dressed as a cowboy and promising to kick everyone in the balls... it's... it's...


I'm eliminate AJ and Nakamura with my fabled bollock-shot, before being eliminated by someone really crap. Let's say Jinder Mahal.


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In at number 9, I'd have Porn Legend Big Willy Omar. He could do Joey Ryan's penis spot, but he'll do it better because he's Omar and he's the fucking man. 


Number 28 hits, and its The Fash John Fashanu. Big Fash wins the Rumble with the martial arts that he's been practicing over the years. Fash vs Lesnar at Mania. Brock would be shitting himself. 



And for the women, I'll have a pop and say 90's pop star Whigfield, because seen her recently on Instagram and she's in really good nick for her age. Here is her Instagram.


Edited by Alex Wright Mark

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Pick 1: Men's Royal Rumble


It's entry number 5. The crowd is going ecstatic, 5....4....

Corey Graves "It sounds like a stampede in here!!"

3.... 2....

Renee Young "The energy is wilder than a pack of Wildebeest!"


Michael Cole "Oh my!! Be prepared for a Rumble.... in the jungle!!"




It's Simba from the Lion King. He's flanked by Timon and Pumba. Together they strut down the ring signing HAKUNA MATATA.


He's promptly thrown out by the New Day who, for some reason, were dressed as Hyenas. This sets up an Elimination Chamber match between the two trios


Pick 2: Men's Royal Rumble

We're approaching Number 27. There's been a string of surprises; currently in the ring we have a few WCW alumni taking out the current crop of talent (Think Goldberg, DDP, Scott Steiner...)

Michael Cole "It's been well documented on UKFF. The numbers don't lie! Number 27 is the most winningest number out there!"

The buzzer sounds and out comes...


Louis Theroux.

After 20 long years of holding a grudge against WCW for killing his ambition, and his desire, for dismissing him on his weird weekend... he is back! He promptly eliminates all of the WCW talent and tears his shirt ala Hulk Hogan.


Pick 3: Men's Royal Rumble


Almost immediately, number 28 comes out. It's the Mission:Impossible theme - out comes Tom Cruise! He comes face to face, nose to nose with Louis Theroux.

Graves "The bad blood between these two is intense. Cruise, an avid Scientologist, has been waiting for this moment ever since he saw Louis Theroux's Scientology movie!!"

Theroux decks Cruise with a headbutt

Young "Looks like Louis' cruising for a bruising"


They eliminate each other and go on to main event Wrestlemania. If Louis wins, Tom must leave the church of Scientology FOREVER. If Tom win's, Louis must join the church



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Marcel Barthel - So we can finally get that 'Nein!' 'Ten!' exchange with Tye Dillinger that the world has been waiting for.

Scotty 2 Hotty - Worm-Off with Otis.

Bradley Walsh - Fucker is everywhere else these days.

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The Rumble has just started and we're ready for entrant number three.The buzzer sounds and Take My Hand by Matt Berry & The Maypoles sounds out over the PA.


Stephen Toast makes his way out to the ring,very slowly, accompanied by Ray Purchase's wife. "My gawd,Maggle, what's Ray Purchase going to think about this?" Asks JBL as they finally make it into the ring, just in time for the buzzer to sound,announcing the next entrant.


"I don't think we're going to have to wait too long to find out, partner" replies Cole as none other but Ray bloody Purchase sprints down to the ring to confront his love rival.

They go back and forth for a few minutes as Heath Slater and Mojo Rawley look on dumbfounded, soon as the next entrant's music hits they roll out under the bottom rope as though their lives depended on it,leaving Toast & Purchase at the mercy of


Haku/Meng. He's having none of the Actors' nonsense on his time and mutilates them both in quick fashion before eliminating himself and leaving the arena with Mrs Purchase


Edited by jazzygeofferz

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Pick 1:

It's early doors and Pete Dunne has just entered, snapping fingers and snarling...countdown...the buzzer

It's...Image result for radzi spoty

Radzi Chinyanganya

Still feeling slighted after the photoshop job Dunne did from SPOTY, Radzi is determined to use his experience from Blue Peter and hand out a beating he made earlier.


Pick 2:

We're in the mid-Rumble resthold. Ring is filling with midcarders and callups. The crowd are starting to get restless when suddenly someone jumps the barrier. Agents and security rush the ring to deal with the problem, buzzer sounds to darkness. Eventually music starts, everyone looks confused.


Fed up with his new life as a suit, Noble rips off the pants and shirt to reveal denim cut offs. Jamie Noble is in the Rumble



Pick 3:

Mid-20s, starting to get down to brass tacks.

Countdown. Buzzer


Image result for brodus clay

Brodus Clay returns to...well...no pop at all. 

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It didn't happen in 2018, despite the will of the people:


In the worst case of false advertising ever, it didn't even happen at THE GREATEST Royal Rumble.

At the age of 55 by the time the Rumble kicks off maybe it's time we let this dream go? After all, he's now older than Shawn Michaels, maybe he looks like a joke now, too?


Oh! Okay, but maybe it's all cosmetic, there's no way he can still be the greatest tournament fighter of all time, right?


OH! Well then I guess I have no other option...

January 27. Cars will be gone out to, karate gis will be put on, doors will be locked and a whole lot of rednecks will be whooped. I HAVE SPOKEN!!!

On 12/31/2012 at 4:47 PM, CleetusVanDamme said:

#1 in the Rumble is Brodus Clay. Seeing as the ring is the empty, he decides it's an appropriate time to bust a groove, a decision that would cost him his career...


*I'M THE GREATEST!... 1... 2... 123 HIT THAT!*




The Cat sprints down to the ring, ducks Brodus' clothesline and Feliner kicks him over the top rope and straight out of the company. Cat grabs the mic and says "This has been a long time coming, HIT MY MUSIC!"






He spends the next hour cutting a rug and whooping 28 other rednecks to earn his WWE title match at Wrestlemania 29 30 31 32 33 34 35: The Great One vs The Greatest.



And yes, I am going to pitch this same idea every year.


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