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Condom dispensers


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I had a very random thought as I was trying to get to sleep last night. You know them condom dispensers that you find in pub,supermarkets and bar toilets, I have never ever seen anyone even remotely glance at them let alone roll pounds into them to purchase the rubbers. I always have a cheeky glance at what's in them as it varies from dispensers from your standard 3 pack to lube and vibrating cock rings. As I wrote I find it formidable that in all the toilets I go in I never see anyone look at them let alone buy em. I guess they are for shy men who don't want to pay a cashier but with the addition of self serving machines everywhere why are they still there. They always look topped up but for some reason they look as if you'd put your coins in and then your chosen product won't fall.

In one episode of beavis and butthead they even cover the topic when purchasing Spanish fly and try using it as a date rape drug, I also noticed that the condom dispensers in that episode of beavis and butthead had a card collection of naked women, which I think would have gone down well in the uk before the pre Internet porn era.

 

Anyway What experiences with condom dispensers do you have?

 

and what are some of the varied items you have noticed (or attempted to buy) in the dispensers?

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Not just for shy men. Years ago a short bloke bought a packet in our local pub's toilet, whilst talking to quite a few of us already in there. I put it down to "short man syndrome" by him almost announcing to the world that he was on a promise.

In the same pub a very young and self conscious  Lord Mount-Evans ran into the same toilet to make a purchase the split second the pub opened, praying to the God of Shagging that not only would he lose his cherry, but lose it without anyone having the knowledge  of his purchase.

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Richie: Oh, nadgers. What kind do you want?
Eddie: Rubber ones.
Richie: Yeah, but there's ribbed, there's tickler, and there's ultrasensitive.
Eddie: Ripped? Who's going to want a ripped condom?
Richie: Must be for people who want to get pregnant. Well I don't think ultrasensitive is our style, do you? The tickler it is. Oh, what colour?
Eddie: What have they got?
Richie: There's black, gold, union jack and leopard skin. Which do you think's the most romantic?
Eddie: Well union jack, obviously!
Richie: Right, a union jack tickler it is. Oh, what flavour?
Eddie:¬†Flavour?!‚ÄĚ
Richie: Yeah, there's chocolate, strawberry, marmite and cheese and onion.
Eddie: Well everyone likes cheese and onion, don't they?
Richie: Of course they do. A cheese and onion union jack tickler it is. Bagsy me first go with it.
Eddie: No no, get two.
Richie: Wild man!
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I've used them a few times in my younger days, but only ever in night clubs when I've managed to pull. Never ever had the foresight to buy in advance and keep a few in my wallet or whatever, and I was always too nervous to ask a taxi driver to stop at a 24 hour garage to but a pack incase the lass tells me to fuck off for being presumptuous. So in that respect, they really came in handy(or came in johnny more like it)!

Always remember one lass I took home dissapeared into the womans toilet at the same time as I did the mens(for some johnnies).The next morning it turned out she had purchased a little plastic bag with a toothbrush, toothpaste and a packet of "feminine wipes" for £6 from a machine in the womans. Blew my mind that!

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On a stag do someone (not me) purchased a "blue pill" from one and roofied the stag.  As it was not from a pharmacist I'm assuming it was a coloured in proplus.  He had an awful headache the next morning.

When I was a lad you could get them free from an abundance of places.

Edited by johnnyboy
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As a teen pretty much all my condoms came from the local safe sex awareness place. 

It was in the same building that we played basketball at on a Friday night, and I'm sure they must have used us to hit a quota or something as they'd offload handfuls on us each week. Always Durex, usually Gossamer or Extra Safe, occasionally Gold, and if we were really lucky, Elite.

If only I was sexually active enough to actually require them....

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The Longford Engine in Coventry used to do ones called "Rudey Doodies" about 10 years ago. They were johnnies that doubled up as aliens so you could make your old boy look like an extra terrestrial. It didn't go down too well with the girl I was with at the time when my cock was green, had bumps and had sprung two antennae. 

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About 12 Christmas's ago I was on a night out in Middlesbrough and the starter pub was a Wetherspoons (don't judge me.)

After breaking the seal for some reason I was compelled to wander over to the blob machine and instinctively pulled on the coin return lever. Low and behold sixteen Pound coins come flying out. 

It certainly was a Christmas miracle.

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