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Physical Altercations


Brewster McCloud

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I have had a few fights & been assaulted on a few occasions too. Only last week i was headbutted, i put it down to laws of probability when you live in a poor inner city.

On the plus side, you get a great sense of atmospheric tensions and you can often see trouble before it knocks on your door. I am not a tough guy, but you do learn not to take crap of anyone.

My top four places of potential violence were/are:
1, Pubs/Nightclubs (Pool tables were always dodgy and pool cues can be often used, darts was always a lot more civilised for some reason?).
2, Factories.
3, Football (especially 1970's/80's)
4, School.

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In my advancing years and deteriorating health, I do my best to avoid trouble.  Thankfully I don't see much anymore but my advice is to maintain eye contact and speak humorously but authoritative, if it still looks like, to quote Double D, it's going off, give them a kick in the bollocks/fanny and leg it.

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1 minute ago, Keith Houchen said:

In my advancing years and deteriorating health, I do my best to avoid trouble.  Thankfully I don't see much anymore but my advice is to maintain eye contact and speak humorously but authoritative, if it still looks like, to quote Double D, it's going off, give them a kick in the bollocks/fanny and leg it.

Not sure about the bollock/fanny kicking? From my own experiences, if you are not actively looking for aggro, there is nearly always an opportunity to walk away.

That theory goes out the window, when you are not alone as other people you are with can often drag you into trouble 😩

* A  punch aimed 18" behind the Adam's Apple would be my assault of choice, rather than the genitals*

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Not trying to be all Johnny Concrete but I've been in my fair share of fights and when I see a group headed up by a Two Can Van Damme giving me shit and I know they're about to launch, kick and run.  I've only got one lung so a prolonged outnumbered fight might not be the best course of action for me.  It's not like I'm saying hoof the knackers of some stranger saying hello.

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15 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said:

Not trying to be all Johnny Concrete but I've been in my fair share of fights and when I see a group headed up by a Two Can Van Damme giving me shit and I know they're about to launch, kick and run.  I've only got one lung so a prolonged outnumbered fight might not be the best course of action for me.  It's not like I'm saying hoof the knackers of some stranger saying hello.

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hoof the knackers

I love that terminology 😄

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I once tried to lift a toilet seat with my foot in a night club and drunkenly and extremely clumsily managed to boot the twatting toilet bowl over which resulted in me being dragged out by bouncers.

I have a life long fear that I'll be one of those people who never fight but one day gets caught in an altercation and I accidentally kill the other person and I'm doomed to be forever known around the prison yard as One Punch Daz.

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26 minutes ago, Mr_Danger said:

I once tried to lift a toilet seat with my foot in a night club and drunkenly and extremely clumsily managed to boot the twatting toilet bowl over which resulted in me being dragged out by bouncers.

I have a life long fear that I'll be one of those people who never fight but one day gets caught in an altercation and I accidentally kill the other person and I'm doomed to be forever known around the prison yard as One Punch Daz.

I would be considerably more fearful of being nicknamed "BlowJob Daz".

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Used to always be fighting when I was a kid, chilled out now. Think the last one I had was earlier this year with a slaughterhouse worker. He was being a total dickhead, assaulted a couple in their early 50s and went for a girl I was with so we ended up punching each other a couple times. 

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I haven't been in a fight since junior school thankfully. I have definitely found that the US in general has a lot less of the "you fink ur hard m8?" nonsense that goes on in the UK...although with a more general fear of "I could get shot at anytime".

I used to generally be scared when walking around by myself at night and encountering some group. Especially seeing as I'm a tall lad and that is a magnet for divs. Since training BJJ I feel a lot more confident which I also think is a big part of people trying to start shit with you, simply being able to ignore someone without seemingly like you're scared is a good deterrent.

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4 hours ago, Lord-Mountevans said:

I have had a few fights & been assaulted on a few occasions too. Only last week i was headbutted, i put it down to laws of probability when you live in a poor inner city.

Yeah, over the years my brother has ALWAYS ended up getting hit/headbutted/attacked when he's out, usually for no reason.

Other than the fact that my brother is a massive fucking prick.

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