Who is the least cool person on the planet?

[Brewster McCloud]

To be truly uncool, an attempt at being cool must first be made: Damon Albarn. For a supposedly smart guy, despite being one of the main offenders in the awful Adidas-sponsored Britpop era, he doesn't half come across as a dribbly every time he gets interviewed.  

I will also nominate that fucking cunt Jonathan Ross, who tragically pretends to be an everyman for money. 

[Chest Rockwell]

Upvote for Albarn who keeps showing up and ruining things. He's involved in a lot of music projects I love and is still insufferable.

[Brewster McCloud]

13 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

Upvote for Albarn who keeps showing up and ruining things. He's involved in a lot of music projects I love and is still insufferable.

I quite like some of his music, but when he talks... Jesus. When he did Gorilaz that was ace, because it was like a proper band of the future, and it was something that hadn't been done before. I saw Blur back in the day and it was a fantastic concert, ripping through Parklife like they were The Replacements in the early 80s. A great performer, but he has Morrissey-like levels of ineptitude when trying to give an opinion. 

[Gus Mears]

1 hour ago, Brewster McCloud said:

I quite like some of his music, but when he talks... Jesus. When he did Gorilaz that was ace, because it was like a proper band of the future, and it was something that hadn't been done before. I saw Blur back in the day and it was a fantastic concert, ripping through Parklife like they were The Replacements in the early 80s. A great performer, but he has Morrissey-like levels of ineptitude when trying to give an opinion. 

I think Albarn does get away with being lumped in with the Holland's and Gryll's of this world because at least a fair bit of his music was cool. You're right though, he's not one for interviews. 

[Brewster McCloud]

7 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

I think Albarn does get away with being lumped in with the Holland's and Gryll's of this world because at least a fair bit of his music was cool. You're right though, he's not one for interviews. 

 

Which is odd. Now I think about it, I wonder if he's deliberately trying to downplay his education and background by sounding so bovine?

[Lorne Malvo]

If we have to nominate someone who actually thinks they're cool, this bloke from Big Brother thought he was the dogs bollocks but was probably the most pathetic bloke whose ever entered;

[Factotum]

Quote

Which is odd. Now I think about it, I wonder if he's deliberately trying to downplay his education and background by sounding so bovine?

He used to. Not sure if he does now. He's always been an odd guy. This has reminded me that Alex James deserves a nomination.

[Dolph Pigglers]

Noel Fielding.

Cool to 14 year old emo girls and the friend zoned moshers they hang out with, when in fact he's just a random word generating, cape wearing dork who tries too hard to act and dress as quirky and alternative he is. 

Bet he cries himself to sleep on his pillow case of glittery horse gumbo. 

   

[TheBurningRed]

1 hour ago, Lorne Malvo said:

If we have to nominate someone who actually thinks they're cool, this bloke from Big Brother thought he was the dogs bollocks but was probably the most pathetic bloke whose ever entered;

Ha, I saw him on Monday getting on the bus as I was getting off. He lives local to me. He was a regular at the local metal club before it shut down. He used to come alone and just stand by the dance floor watching. One of my friends went on a couple of dates with him a few years back. He was cringy, weird and a sex pest from the story she told me. 

[Brewster McCloud]

53 minutes ago, Factotum said:

He used to. Not sure if he does now. He's always been an odd guy. This has reminded me that Alex James deserves a nomination.

He at least seemed self-aware. Coxon also. I couldn't stand Oasis, but I'll say this for the eyebrow brothers, they're pretty funny in interviews. 

[Factotum]

Coxon is great, top bloke and a great guitar player.

[IANdrewDiceClay]

Cant see how anyone can say Albarn when he invented football. Until he started going to ol' Stamford Bridge in 92 guv'nah, none of us had heard of it before. He also invented the baggy Madchester scene 5 years after the Mondays and the Stone Roses started. He invented BritPop after Suede and Pulp started. He invented the rap, dub and rock combo that is Gorillaz. That had never been done a million times before. He had Paul Simonon and Mick Jones in a band with him, which had never been done before.

This man isnt a try hard at all. He would never spend a decade doing publicity stunts, charity matches, licensing his music to adverts and appearing on every TV show that invited him and then turn around and start burying the likes of Pop Idol and trying to act as the example of not selling out. Its hard working cor blimey working class lads like Damon Albarn that make me get up in the morning and know "I can do it, too."

[Porkchopcash]

Makes good music though.

Well used to....

[Brewster McCloud]

3 minutes ago, IANdrewDiceClay said:

Cant see how anyone can say Albarn when he invented football. Until he started going to ol' Stamford Bridge in 92 guv'nah, none of us had heard of it before. He also invented the baggy Madchester scene 5 years after the Mondays and the Stone Roses started. He invented BritPop after Suede and Pulp started. He invented the rap, dub and rock combo that is Gorillaz. That had never been done a million times before. He had Paul Simonon and Mick Jones in a band with him, which had never been done before.

This man isnt a try hard at all. He would never spend a decade doing publicity stunts, charity matches, licensing his music to adverts and appearing on every TV show that invited him and then turn around and start burying the likes of Pop Idol and trying to act as the example of not selling out.

Your ramblings make little sense to me. Did you just cut a promo? Magic.

[Keith Houchen]

5 hours ago, Brewster McCloud said:

he has Morrissey-like levels of ineptitude when trying to give an opinion. 

This couldn't be more wrong if you tried.  Morrissey is more known for his interviews than his music these days and he knows exactly what he is doing.