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PowerButchi

Shitting Thread #374

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1 hour ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

My daughter (3) shits in the bath every bath time. EVERY BATH TIME. Trying to locate and scoop it out, in between the hills of bubbles and grinning rubber ducks, before it breaks apart, should score me a crystal from Richard O’Brien.

Please remind her of this about ten years from now when she's giving you grief.

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19 minutes ago, Uncle Zeb said:

Please remind her of this about ten years from now when she's giving you grief.

I’ll wait until she gets her own place and I’ll go and have a shit in her bath. 

Edited by Kaz Hayashi

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My ex shit in the birthing pool when our second was born. Fishing it out wasn’t the greatest moment of our marriage I’m not gonna lie.

I remind her that I’m the odd one out in our family as I’m the only one to have seen the others poo themselves.

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This is the third time I've been to the shop and forgotten to get shit roll. Need to start browsing the forum when I'm in Tesco.

There's an industrial sized roll of the thinnest toilet paper here that I can only hazard a guess as to how it first appeared in the property. I've got a Madras on and I fear it's going to be like cleaning up an oil spillage with receipt paper later. 

Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll?

My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet paper. 

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5 minutes ago, Undefeated Steak said:

This is the third time I've been to the shop and forgotten to get shit roll. Need to start browsing the forum when I'm in Tesco.

There's an industrial sized roll of the thinnest toilet paper here that I can only hazard a guess as to how it first appeared in the property. I've got a Madras on and I fear it's going to be like cleaning up an oil spillage with receipt paper later. 

Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll?

My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet 

My pair of boxers whilst in a pub toilet with no loo roll, left them festering in the corner. 

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2 hours ago, Undefeated Steak said:

 

Which leads me onto what's the worst thing you've ever wiped your arse with when you've ran out of toilet roll?

My opening gambit is a sock or attempting to use the brown cardboard roll of the toilet paper. 

An old housemate of mine when I was a student used a Lovecraft book that had been printed in the 50s. I wasnt happy. 

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2 hours ago, Kaz Hayashi said:

Evening shitters,

Post-breakfast party at mine tomorrow morning. RSVP. Cheers.

C125E456-B749-4F65-B6BC-5565ACD9B0ED.jpeg

While we all ♥️ a bday party, I'd advise against eating the 🎂.

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8 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

UKFF needs to see this.

 

I've not actually taken a shit in a shower, but I did once get home with my bowels a-churning, legging it from the front door to the toilet and firing out an unholy mess in about three seconds, and only then discovering that there was not a single sheet of toilet paper on the roll.

I figured I'd just step into the shower and hose the remains out of my arse, no doubt inspired by a UKFF recommendation of the bum-gun.

I can tell you, it's not as clean and convenient as you'd imagine.

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I totally missed the end of the Fury fight due to some intestinal distress. I believe that I am completely hollow now. I would best illustrate this with a gif.

tumblr_ptsowugnfo1vczhx4o9_250.gifv

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I've never shat in the shower, but when I had food poisoning a few years ago I sat on the edge of the bath and shat in that whilst throwing up in to the toilet at the same time. 

Every time I retched, my body tensed and a blast of brown water would grace the bath. 

I think I've mentioned this on here before. 

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