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Shit sports punditry and commentary


Gus Mears

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Are you unbelievably tired of people saying unbelievable? 

Are you absolutely tired of people saying absolutely?

Are you incredibly tired of people incredible? 

Sports punditry, especially in football, is dire, let's be honest. Whether it be Paul Merson stealing a living and bemoaning people hitting 'The beans on toast', or Phil Neville tripping over his tongue and labelling completely average goals as 'absolutely sensational', there is rarely a game with a full 90 minutes of competence from the booth and the studio.

Who are your worst offenders? What, in your opinion, are the most tired cliches? 

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As mentioned in the other thread - country mile and unplayable.

Souness, Jeans and Merson have to be the worst pundits for me. Only one I really like now is Rio Ferdinand. I did enjoy Frank Lampard when he was doing it.

You also get a lot of commentators just waffling on about shit that has nothing to do with the match. Commentary in football is getting worse, wwe level bad. 

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7 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

Do you mean beans? Or do you mean beans on toast? 

I think he means BEANS ON.

I hate Gary Neville - I mean as a Liverpool fan that's par for the course, but at least in his first season of commentary and analysis he seemed to dial the bias down a bit (even though I could do without the strange noises during Chelsea's Champions League run in 2012), but since United have struggled more recently he's gotten on my wick loads by seeming to talk shite about United through gritted teeth and being very unfair to City and Liverpool.

In fairness I don't think Carragher should be doing Liverpool or United games either.

Martin Tyler is also shite, a massive dinosaur who gets very excited when certain teams do something but is almost comatose at corresponding moments for other sides.

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10 minutes ago, Otto Dem Wanz said:

Martin Tyler is also shite, a massive dinosaur who gets very excited when certain teams do something but is almost comatose at corresponding moments for other sides.

I understand why he has to do it, but his Tony Schiavone 'biggest night in the history of our great sport' routine when it's Burnley vs Cardiff in mid November or something is tired beyond belief. 

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Looks like one for the unpopular opinion thread.  I think Gary Neville is one of the best pundits.  Maybe that's because the standard is so shit.  

Do I still get amused by Garth Crooks asking himself questions? Yes I do.

i think the new batch of pundits will be better. Punditry, much like football, has been an old boys club for too long.  Some of the ones that featured on the World Cup in the summer, women usually, were a breath of fresh air.

They might one day reach the punditry peak of Brian Blessed on UK Gold or Dave or whatever it was called a few World Cups ago.  AND JACKIE MILBURN!!

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15 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

You also get a lot of commentators just waffling on about shit that has nothing to do with the match. Commentary in football is getting worse, wwe level bad. 

I think this is more about todays generation of fans than anything else. More casual fans so the commentary is tailored to the casuals. Whereas back in the day the likes of Motty would give you the weird & interesting facts because chances are the audience were pure football fans who would appreciate it. 

14 minutes ago, Otto Dem Wanz said:

Martin Tyler is also shite, a massive dinosaur who gets very excited when certain teams do something but is almost comatose at corresponding moments for other sides.

Manchester United being one of them. 

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3 minutes ago, Briefcase said:

I think this is more about todays generation of fans than anything else. More casual fans so the commentary is tailored to the casuals. Whereas back in the day the likes of Motty would give you the weird & interesting facts because chances are the audience were pure football fans who would appreciate it.

They still do that. Their research and prep is unarguable. The problem is the demand for the style to be conversational when before the commentator would describe the action and his mate would chip in with an expert view on some incidents. Now, they have to be like two pals in the pub stating the obvious over 87 replays.

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I suppose this is as good a place to ask...

When the commentators plug the upcoming games or even when the team line ups appear on the screen for the next game it never happens as a goal is about to happen, now I know they purposely try and do this when there is a minimal risk of anything exciting happening (e.g. during a goal kick or injury) but they also do it when the ball is in play...so is it by luck nothing significant happens or are they 30 seconds behind on the feed so have time to edit it out if anything were to happen? With the hundreds & thousands of games you would have thought that by now Martin Tyler would be plugging every upcoming game and in that moment a goal would have been scored but sometimes the ball is in play for a good minute or so and they will talk about the upcoming games as if they know nothing will happen...unless its a taped voiceover? 

I know its probably such a minor thing in the context of the topic.

edit. I have seen the Rafa 'magic' clip but I am talking more the commentary than the visuals. 

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