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IANdrewDiceClay

Films with the most surreal cast

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This thread was inspired by me watching the Great Rock n Roll Swindle for the first time in years and thinking, is there are more mental cast than one featuring Edward Tudor Pole, Mary Millington, Ronnie Biggs and Pete Beale?

I've laid mine on the table, let's see your cards lads. I think I've won here.

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But does it have Jim Davidson singing "Hello" to John Malkovich?

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I’ll put a vote in for Kenneth Branagh’s ‘Much Ado About Nothing’. There’s the usual Shakespearean thesps, but in amongst them you’ve got the likes of Keanu Reeves and Michael Keaton mixing with Ben Elton, Brian Blessed and House’s mate from House.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
My phone doesn’t like Keanu

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There’s this piece of shit, Eldorado or Highway to Hell.  A “Movie” about the adventures of 2 Jewish Blues Brothers imitators.

Cast?  How do Peter O’Toole, Daryl Hannah, David Carradine, Michel Masden, Brigitte Nielsen, Steve Gutenberg, Rick Mayall, Robin Asquith, Buster Bloodvessel and Robert Llewelyn grab you?

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5 minutes ago, Thunderplex said:

How do Peter O’Toole, Daryl Hannah, David Carradine, Michel Masden, Brigitte Nielsen, Steve Gutenberg, Rick Mayall, Robin Asquith, Buster Bloodvessel and Robert Llewelyn grab you?

Like Ric Flair grabs his bride. (Google it for a pic, unless someone has one?)

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If you think about it, a lot of Bond films have bizarre casts as you get this mish-mash of British thespians mostly in support and cameo roles sharing screen-time with better known American and international stars.

Look at Tomorrow Never Dies for instance. Teri Hatcher married to Jonathan Pryce. Ricky Jay as his right-hand man, Michelle Yeoh as the main Bond girl, Vincent Schiavelli as an assassin, and a Geoffrey Palmer / Judi Dench reteaming. Nuts.

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1 hour ago, Thunderplex said:

There’s this piece of shit, Eldorado or Highway to Hell.  A “Movie” about the adventures of 2 Jewish Blues Brothers imitators.

Cast?  How do Peter O’Toole, Daryl Hannah, David Carradine, Michel Masden, Brigitte Nielsen, Steve Gutenberg, Rick Mayall, Robin Asquith, Buster Bloodvessel and Robert Llewelyn grab you?

The director of that's notorious for being a Neil Breen style auter of terrible shit that's most likely a tax dodge, with casts that were made for this thread.

Quote

In June 2013 he was found guilty of a £1.5 million tax fraud involving inflating the values of invoices for projects including Eldorado, which starred Daryl Hannah, David Carradine and Michael Madsen.[2]

Regard 2008's Evil Calls: The Raven which has Rik Mayall, Norman Wisdom, Robin Askwith, Jason Donovan, Eileen Daly, and the voice of Christopher Walken.

Dave Courtney's fuck-awful gangster flicks are another great one for this, packed with craggy old actors, celebrity hooligans, and the sort of nob-aches who think it's still prime Lad's Mag era.

Look at some of Courtney's filmography.

The Seven (2019) - Dave Courtney, Dean Cain, Sinitta, Alex Reid, Gary Webster off Minder, Roland off Grange Hill

Gatwick Gangsters (2017) - Dave Courtney, Bobby George, Gary Bushell, and Willie Thorne as 'The Beast'. I'm not saying this one was some kind of scam, but the cast list is about 1000 pages long.

Gangsters Gamblers Geezers (2016) - Dave Courtney, Jodie Marsh, Richard Blackwood, Nigel's dead wife off Eastenders, Dot Cotton's dead grandson off Eastenders, Big Narstie, Ben Dover, Francine Lewis the impressionist off Britain's Got Talent, Liz from Atomic Kitten

Looters, Tooters and Sawn-Off Shooters (2014) - Dave Courtney, Jodie Marsh, Les Battersby off Corrie, Saffron from Republica

Mob Handed (2016) - Dave Courtney, Lysette Anthony, Jess Conrad, Dirty Den, Daniella Westbrook, Cathy Tyson, Cass Pennant the hooligan, and the voice of Charles Bronson recorded off a prison payphone

The Baby Juice Express (2004) - Dave Courtney, Samantha Janus, Little John off Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Ray Parlour, Cleo Rocos, Julian Clarey, Ruth Jones, Nick Moran, Johnson off Peep Show, and David Seaman as 'Huge Gangster'

He's even done one with Vampiro and Martin Kove from Karate Kid.

 

 

Edited by Astro Hollywood

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I guess they don't count because they're almost trying to be as wacky as possible, but the Sharknado films are chockablock with glorified cameos.

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29 minutes ago, Astro Hollywood said:

Mob Handed (2016) - Dave Courtney, Lysette Anthony, Jess Conrad, Dirty Den, Daniella Westbrook, Cathy Tyson, Cass Pennant the hooligan, and the voice of Charles Bronson recorded off a prison payphone

Oh fucking hell, Mob Handed. One of the few films I decided I needed to review on IMDB.

Quote

I was recommended this film by a friend, who had seen it and spread the word because in his words "you need to see how horrendous this is." Its like a lucky dip of absolute mess. The lead actress Yvette Rowland appeared in another rotten film of the same ilk called "Killer Bitch", which featured British porn stars who acted her off the screen, she was so bad. Amazingly she's even worse here.

There's an episode of Only Fools and Horses where Rodney Trotter is making a student film, and Del Boy is getting money off a bunch of people around the city to star in it. I can only assume this is how the casting process went here. There are people from every kind of Z-list TV area in this thing. Half the cast of the Bill shows up, I imagine because Celebrity Big Brother wasn't interested that month. Former child actors who haven't worked in years and haven't seen down the lens of a camera since they were caught stealing from Poundstretcher. Dave Courtney pops up in a tank. What?! Daniella Westbrook and Dirty Den arrive to bring the star power. Either Leslie Grantham hasn't got any work coming in anymore or he's on a mission to do something so embarrassing on camera that people forget about him sucking his finger on a webcam.

Basically the plot is that there is a pedo on the loose, who killed the daughter of the lead actress and now she's out for revenge. Only she portrays all the emotion of someone who isn't pleased that someone left the iron on. There's a lot of cockney accents saying "fakin' slag." The actors in this make Danny Dyer look like Laurence Olivier doing Hamlet. Its the pits. I was jealous of some of the torture scenes in this, because all I could say to the TV was "you don't know how good you've got it mate." The funniest thing about it is that the lead actress is listed as "producer" as well. If the whole film was meant to build up to that punchline then this film maybe knock off This Is Spinal Tap as the funniest movie ever. What a brilliant build. Either than or she's dating the bloke who is funding it (which seems way more likely), because there is no other way she'd be hired by anyone else to act.

You should watch it. It may be the worst film ever.

 

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Her fella is Ricky Diamond from the tent stop on Playbus. He makes all the films.

Edited by PowerButchi

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On 10/24/2018 at 11:05 PM, Thunderplex said:

There’s this piece of shit, Eldorado or Highway to Hell.  A “Movie” about the adventures of 2 Jewish Blues Brothers imitators.

Cast?  How do Peter O’Toole, Daryl Hannah, David Carradine, Michel Masden, Brigitte Nielsen, Steve Gutenberg, Rick Mayall, Robin Asquith, Buster Bloodvessel and Robert Llewelyn grab you?

Quote

In June 2013 he was found guilty of a £1.5 million tax fraud involving inflating the values of invoices for projects including Eldorado, which starred Daryl Hannah, David Carradine and Michael Madsen.[2]

He's back! And clearly on the level this time. Look how much thought and work has gone into this new superhero movie starring Michael Madsen.

 

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Sad how Patrick Bergin's career went downhill. "Sleeping With The Enemy" is one of the best chillers of the 90s (and best soundtrack IMO).

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On 10/25/2018 at 12:32 AM, Astro Hollywood said:

The director of that's notorious for being a Neil Breen style auter of terrible shit that's most likely a tax dodge, with casts that were made for this thread.

Regard 2008's Evil Calls: The Raven which has Rik Mayall, Norman Wisdom, Robin Askwith, Jason Donovan, Eileen Daly, and the voice of Christopher Walken.

Dave Courtney's fuck-awful gangster flicks are another great one for this, packed with craggy old actors, celebrity hooligans, and the sort of nob-aches who think it's still prime Lad's Mag era.

Look at some of Courtney's filmography.

The Seven (2019) - Dave Courtney, Dean Cain, Sinitta, Alex Reid, Gary Webster off Minder, Roland off Grange Hill

Gatwick Gangsters (2017) - Dave Courtney, Bobby George, Gary Bushell, and Willie Thorne as 'The Beast'. I'm not saying this one was some kind of scam, but the cast list is about 1000 pages long.

Gangsters Gamblers Geezers (2016) - Dave Courtney, Jodie Marsh, Richard Blackwood, Nigel's dead wife off Eastenders, Dot Cotton's dead grandson off Eastenders, Big Narstie, Ben Dover, Francine Lewis the impressionist off Britain's Got Talent, Liz from Atomic Kitten

Looters, Tooters and Sawn-Off Shooters (2014) - Dave Courtney, Jodie Marsh, Les Battersby off Corrie, Saffron from Republica

Mob Handed (2016) - Dave Courtney, Lysette Anthony, Jess Conrad, Dirty Den, Daniella Westbrook, Cathy Tyson, Cass Pennant the hooligan, and the voice of Charles Bronson recorded off a prison payphone

The Baby Juice Express (2004) - Dave Courtney, Samantha Janus, Little John off Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, Ray Parlour, Cleo Rocos, Julian Clarey, Ruth Jones, Nick Moran, Johnson off Peep Show, and David Seaman as 'Huge Gangster'

He's even done one with Vampiro and Martin Kove from Karate Kid.

 

 

Only because the bloke that played Little Ron in Maid Marian & Her Merry Men was busy. Some of those  casts are brilliant. Bruce Jones and Saffron from Republica? Fantastic.

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