Paid Members chokeout Posted October 8, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 8, 2018 The Welsh Border Collie is the king of all dogs, and therefore all animals. Manages the perfect balance of being super smart, like a raptor, yet also be an idiot. I have no doubt in my mind that this hound is tired from playing fetch with the rock in front of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Teedy Kay Posted October 8, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 8, 2018 3 hours ago, AdamTH17 said: Don't mind me, just wandering through... Oh my God. So, little Teedy was taken to the zoo. My Mom and Dad twice every year without fail packed me and my sisters up and off we went to Twycross to stare at Chimpanzees eating their own shit, or wanking with the aid of some sort of foliage. Twycross was our spiritual zoo home. Then it happened, my folks decided a change was in order and 5 year old me, a 10 visit veteran of Twycross, was put in a car and dragged cross country to Whipsnade. All was going well, I was rocking my cheap bright green sunglasses, which with my thin blonde hair which made me look like Elton John, and I was taking in the joys of this new Zoo. Cockiness pouring from me. As you do, with the sun blarring, and mid 80s summers being worthy of the actual word summer, ice creams were ordered. I was 5, I remember very little from this age, I remember splitting my head open on our TV stand because I wasn't wearing my Wellies properly, I remember my Grandad getting nipped to fuckery by a monster crab in Tenby whilst rockpooling. But THE one memory that has burnrd into my psyche at that age and lasted longer, and more vivid than anything was what happened at that zoo on that day. My family sat at a bench, my younger self stood transfixed by the behemoth of an ice cream that I was holding, unwilling to commit to eating it due to it's wonderful splendour and size. The grass was yellowing and a butterfly floated past and off I trotted in 5 year old wonderment. The snort was an alarm to my soul, it was heavy, deep and shrill. I took notice due to it's strange foreign appeal, I looked away from the butterfly and towards this somewhat, even at this age, identifiable as demonic sound. And there it stood, a fucking Tapir!!! And off I set, as quick as my little legs could carry me, toddling as fast as I could , the high pitched 'aaargh' a constant now in the Whipsnade air. And my attention concentrated on two things, my survival and not losing a drop of my magnificent ice cream. The Tapir gave chase, I continued my run, my parents sat on a bench saw me run past shouting, followed by a Tapir supposedly chuckling as it pranced six foot behind me and then the beast's keeper. The demon was apprehended, I was calmed, and sat on the bench I'd run past to eat the cone centric dessert of which I never lost a drop to the pride of my dad, and the keeper sang apologies to my parents, who honestly were not arsed in the slightest. It was that day a deep set fear of change ingrained itself into my makeup. For change may bring the Tapir, and I may lose my ice cream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted October 8, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 8, 2018 I have a Jack Russell, a golden Labrador and a Viszla. The Jack and the Lab are brilliant. It's a toss up between Tim (Jack) and Bruce (lab) for best animal ever. Both are so happy to be alive, play and chew on shoes and radiators, but Saoirse (Viszla) is a little cunt. Her meals have to be cooked to absolute perfection. Preferably lambs liver, gravy, spuds and a few prawns. And huffs and sighs if I sit down to watch telly. Lab - if pushed - for me though. The loyalty and temperament on that lad is heart melting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted October 8, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 8, 2018 9 minutes ago, Scott Malbranque said: I have a Jack Russell, a golden Labrador and a Viszla. The Jack and the Lab are brilliant. It's a toss up between Tim (Jack) and Bruce (lab) for best animal ever. Both are so happy to be alive, play and chew on shoes and radiators, but Saoirse (Viszla) is a little cunt. Her meals have to be cooked to absolute perfection. Preferably lambs liver, gravy, spuds and a few prawns. And huffs and sighs if I sit down to watch telly. Lab - if pushed - for me though. The loyalty and temperament on that lad is heart melting Tim Curry, Bruce Willis, Saoirse Ronan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Scott Malbranque Posted October 8, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 8, 2018 15 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: Tim Curry, Bruce Willis, Saoirse Ronan? Tim Cahill, Bruce Campbell and the missus named your wan Saoirse because she thought the dog looked Irish. I didn't know how to even respond, or if I should even respond, to that line of reasoning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted October 8, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 8, 2018 At least she now has the get-out of Saoirse Ronan so she doesn't seem completely mad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rey_Piste Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 31 minutes ago, Scott Malbranque said: Lab - if pushed - for me though. The loyalty and temperament on that lad is heart melting Labradors are a great breed in general, same goes for all working breeds of dogs, it's the toy and show dogs which are real cunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted October 10, 2018 Author Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2018 Just arrived back at home for my decompression day to this #Thebest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted October 10, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 10, 2018 I miss dogs. My Mam rehomes Westies, to the point that - when my parents still lived in Jersey - the Animal Shelter would call her up as soon as they got one in. That love passed on to me, and I got Jodie, the best dog in the world, who sadly passed away a little over a year ago. She was a Westie of indeterminate age (probably around 15-16 when she died), who had just about everything imaginable wrong with her. Her eyesight was going, she had bad kidneys, a pollen allergy, dietary requirements, and a really serious skin condition that meant, when she first arrived at the shelter, she'd lost almost all the fur on her body, and her skin was just red raw. She couldn't be rehomed until she started to grow some of her fur back and make a recovery, but it never completely came back, so she was just this scraggly, scruffy little mess. I got my Mum to knit her some jumpers to wear, as it was winter when I first got her. The little idiot basically helped me get my life in order in a lot of ways, as she gave me a routine that I meant I wasn't out getting pissed all the time, as she was so dependent on me to make sure she got all her medication, eyedrops, and so on at the right time. She was the most affectionate dog I've ever owned, too, and I miss her every day. With how unwell she was, I figured I'd have her for a couple of months tops, but that I'd be happy that she lived out those couple of months in comfort and well looked after - she ended up with me for two years, though sadly the last couple of months I had to move into a flat on my own, so my parents took her on towards the end. She was the best. Here's the little idiot wearing a soft collar to stop her biting at herself; Supplementary best goes to my parents' pet pygmy goats, who are a delight. I used to work in a zoo, so have plenty of animal anecdotes. But I'll just leave you with "one time an orangutan fucked a pigeon to death". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted October 10, 2018 Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2018 Where's a picture of the pygmy goats?? Come on! You can't just tease that. Goats are probably top 5 in the best animals charts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted October 10, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 10, 2018 Boom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted October 10, 2018 Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2018 That has 100% lived up to my expectation and anticipation. I love them. What are their names? edit: that is not a great question. But I want to know more about them in general. Tell me more! I have just been googling pygmy goats as pets. It seems totally doable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted October 10, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 10, 2018 They're called Hardy and Shakespeare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted October 10, 2018 Awards Moderator Share Posted October 10, 2018 I for one would welcome a @BomberPat Animal Anecdotes thread from his zoo days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted October 10, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted October 10, 2018 To be honest, I probably already peaked early on that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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